I'm afraid of being stronger than men.
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gamerbabe14 wrote: »In college, I loved being stronger than men. It was a fun party trick to put someone on your back and squat them with a beer in your hand. I also got laid a lot.
I used to win a LOT of suckers bets that way too! More beer money!!6 -
Um. It doesn't matter. Husband and I are stronger than each other in different ways. I lift, he doesn't.
And why would you bring stronger limit the dating pool unless you specifically introduced yourself as being strong? That's silly. "Hi, I'm xxxx and I'm most likely stronger than you". See? :laugh:2 -
I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men.
You already are, you always were and you always will be.
That's nature, no matter how weak you are there will always be someone weaker, or stronger, when we come to that.
The solution to your problem is quite easy:
- Premise 1: You love strength training
- Premise 2: You want a mate that has more physical power than you
- Solution: Aim higher, look for heavyweight-boxers
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If I trained weight lifting as a full time job, I would never be as strong as my husband of 25 years. Even if he still only trained 3-5 hours a week. Biology is real and men are stronger than women by nature. I am stronger today than my 17 yo who just started lifting, but by the end of the year, he will blow me away. Biology is real. Testosterone matters in muscle development.
I'm content to be able to carry my children out of a burning building if I need to and be able to change the tire on my own car. Keep at it and don't worry about the guy in your life. If lifting creates a rift, maybe he's not the guy for you.7 -
If any man you're attracted to is intimidated by your strength, just club him over the head and drag him back to the cave.
You know. Paleo dating.29 -
My gym is pretty small, the men around my age who lift there generally say they are there to "get them off the couch" and are not competitive (so not powerlifters, basically regular people who enjoy going to the gym). I will never be as strong as them, they bench press more than I squat.
I imagine when I ask for a spot they might think "wow I've never seen a girl at this gym lift that much" but it's nowhere near what they lift lol.
^ And I'd have to agree, asking for a spot can be a good way to strike up a conversation. Or ask if they're done using something, a question about their training, etc. It's pretty much the same as talking to men who aren't at the gym, except sweatier.
My husband doesn't lift and I do, but I'll gladly take him to the store with so he can carry the dog food and carry all the groceries in the house.10 -
I think you're being pretty black and white about this. And you're worrying about something that hasn't even happened.
You're assuming you'll be stronger than Mr. Right.
You're assuming that he would care.
You're assuming that you would care...maybe you wouldn't if he doesn't care.
This also sort of falls into the "what if I'm taller than my date" issues. What if your Mr. Right is shorter? Does that really matter in the scheme of things? I'd pick Mr. Short and Right over Mr. Tall But A Jerk any day.
Seems to me Mr. Right would accept you as physically strong anyway.7 -
I'm female obviously. I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.
How will you know that you are stronger...are you going to quiz them on the numbers? Also, chances are that it will be quite awhile, if ever (unless you're actually power lifting training) that you will be stronger than most men. I do know women who are stronger than I am (as per body weight to how much they can lift ratio)...but they are power lifters, I am not...I lift for general fitness and athleticism, not to squat a gazillion pounds...I'm a cycling enthusiast, not a strength athlete. If I trained like a power lifter, I'd likely surpass them relatively quickly as I already have more muscle mass than they do and I'd just have to adapt my neural system more than anything.
Really, you're the only one here limiting your dating pool...6 -
I thought the reason I did lift was to be stronger then a man. Silly me.
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do no worry about being stronger than men. keep lifting and get as strong or as big as you like. You probably are stronger than some men already and so what. only weak minded people will mind or not like it and you do not want an insecure man anyway.0
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I had stronger legs than some guys my age in high school. Not really a big deal. It probably hurt the guy's ego but I wouldn't settle for a lower paying job to satisfy a guy's need to feel superior, why should I hold my physical strength back?4
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walk by them say "excuse me" and make eye contact.0
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Here's another thought: Men are not automatically stronger or have more muscle mass than women. On AVERAGE a man will have more, but there are lots of individual variation.
So you will be stronger than some men. You are stronger than a bedridden man right now anyway.0 -
I never try to broaden my mind by reading and learning, and I never raised my hand in class and I never contradict a man or annoy him with facts because being smarter than men might limit my dating pool.
Either you and a guy like each other or you don't. Don't try to be something you're not for the sake of a date, because you'll be lying to both of you.3 -
Obviously. You'd be better off finding your man back on your own site's forums. https://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=331
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My husband hasn't lifted a weight since he quit college football. I guarantee you that you are not stronger than him. I also guarantee you that there are many, many men out there who are stronger than you. Just move on from the guy you are semi-interested in with no muscle and look around.0
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kenyonhaff wrote: »Here's another thought: Men are not automatically stronger or have more muscle mass than women. On AVERAGE a man will have more, but there are lots of individual variation.
So you will be stronger than some men. You are stronger than a bedridden man right now anyway.
That thought is incorrect. Why do you think they have seperate event in competitions? Generally speaking pound for pound when you factor in identical training, a man will have more muscle mass and be stronger.
It has to do with genetics and testosterone. Just like woman can bust out RPE10 set and come back after slight rest and repeat the all-out set not once but several times. While a man doing a RPE10 will be wiped and cannot do more than one set.
We are built different. If you look at the elite female/male athletes, they are genetically built different as well from their gender pool.2 -
Generally speaking pound for pound when you factor in identical training, a man will have more muscle mass and be stronger.
Sure, once you equalize training. But I guarantee some women are stronger than some men. When I met her, my wife could bench 275-300. I couldn't top 100. I could finish 400m at least 20 seconds faster than her, and a 5k 15:00+.
That said, I'm not getting into the OPs issues1 -
Then find a man stronger than you who also lifts? Don't be dating weak af novices who can't even bench 135 lbs. Find some athlete, powerlifter or something like that. It's not superficial to want a man who's stronger than you, it's normal for women actually because you want to be protected by a big, strong man. Any woman that wants a weak man is probably a control freak alpha female or dominatrix. Trust me, it's not a bad thing to want something like that. Me for example: nowadays I wouldn't date a fat chick because I'm not into chicks who weigh as much as me or more. Hell I wouldn't even give a fat chick a chance even if she was nice, why should I? I like women who take care of themselves.
Does that make me superficial? Not in my opinion because I'm just not attracted to women who don't take care of themselves. Even if she was in the process of losing weight because I don't wanna wait several months to a whole year to be attracted to someone, I'm not that patient. I even had a discussion with one of my close friends in real life and other guys plenty of times and they agree with me. Now I would date a former fat chick because that shows me she has dedication. If anyone thinks I'm shallow or whatever, idc. I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to and you are attracted to what you're attracted to. Don't let anyone bring you down who says otherwise. Plus I highly doubt you'll give a fat dude a chance unless his game was on point.2 -
As many have said - you'll probably not be stronger. I'm taking your comment to mean something else, do you mean that you're concerned you won't find someone that is into lifting too? Which I get. I spend a lot of time working out, I would prefer a like minded partner or at least one that understands it. But seriously though, who cares if you are stronger - more power to you.
I bet I could out squat a lot of guys at my gym - but that's because they only do shoulder shrugs in the rack and not squats. hahahahaha - just kidding0 -
scorpio516 wrote: »Generally speaking pound for pound when you factor in identical training, a man will have more muscle mass and be stronger.
Sure, once you equalize training. But I guarantee some women are stronger than some men. When I met her, my wife could bench 275-300. I couldn't top 100. I could finish 400m at least 20 seconds faster than her, and a 5k 15:00+.
That said, I'm not getting into the OPs issues
That's impressive, is your wife a powerlifter?0 -
As many have said - you'll probably not be stronger. I'm taking your comment to mean something else, do you mean that you're concerned you won't find someone that is into lifting too? Which I get. I spend a lot of time working out, I would prefer a like minded partner or at least one that understands it. But seriously though, who cares if you are stronger - more power to you.
I bet I could out squat a lot of guys at my gym - but that's because they only do shoulder shrugs in the rack and not squats. hahahahaha - just kidding
I was wondering the same...it's important to me that my partner be into fitness because I'm into fitness and commonality is important...but it doesn't really have anything to do with being stronger than or faster than, etc...hell, my wife is a natural endurance athlete and she can smoke my *kitten* with very little training in any kind of endurance event because that just comes naturally to here...I'd smoke her *kitten* in a sprint because that's what naturally comes to me...I have to work very hard at endurance.
But we're both into fitness and fitness activities...dates are often long rides or hikes in the mountains, etc. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't into that stuff I don't think.1 -
Everyone has their personal preferences nothing to worry about. Find men you like and date them. Simple2
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OP seriously, this is not a legitimate concern. Keep lifting1
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Did OP ever come back?!0
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TavistockToad wrote: »Did OP ever come back?!
I was just going to ask this.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Did OP ever come back?!
No. I'm suspecting that this post was more along the lines of being proud of her achievement of not being in the average bracket.3 -
crush them with your thighs!
sorry a joke I saw on Pinterest.2 -
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why? Are you on testosterone enhancing supplements?1
This discussion has been closed.
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