Weightloss. Im so over myself. Everything i have tried has failed.
HermosaKas
Posts: 17 Member
I have lost 75 lbs before. Felt great, was awesome, compliments starting rolling in, men started hitting on me, i got complacent. It all crept right back up. 100lbs gained. Now im sitting at 398. Maybe more.
Couple months ago i had a personal trainer. Saw great results even though my diet was still trash. Starving and binging. I was in way better shape though. Now i have gained that weight too.
I know my issues, just cant seem to get around them. Avoidance. I avoid everything that hurts. I put it off.
When it come to the food, i try to eat healthy. I go to the grocery store with a grocery list full of things that are healthy with no ideo how to implement them in a meal. I spend $50 or so of money i dont have. I come home, put it in the fridge and leave it for 3weeks or i try to cook it, and then leave that in the fridge for 3 weeks. I have no idea how to fix this. I dont even effing know how to feed myself. Im 21 and this has been going on and off for 3 years. I can never get it right. It sounds so stupid typing it out, but i. Have. Tried. And this is how it always happens.
The only time im able to cook something and actually eat it is when i cook big pot meals, i.e chilli, tacos, soup. Something where all ingredients are cooked in the same pot. Problem with this is that it often is not balanced, and its the only things i have so it becomes breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack for as long as it exists= binge.
Plus, i cant seem to get rid of the all or nothing mentality- which is to say i keep trying to wright until my diet is in order before i exercise.
I dont mean to sound like a brat, but there are sooo many things i want to do, i want to travel mexico and spain. I want to go back to school. I REFUSE to do it with 200 more lbs in the passenger seat. Please help
Couple months ago i had a personal trainer. Saw great results even though my diet was still trash. Starving and binging. I was in way better shape though. Now i have gained that weight too.
I know my issues, just cant seem to get around them. Avoidance. I avoid everything that hurts. I put it off.
When it come to the food, i try to eat healthy. I go to the grocery store with a grocery list full of things that are healthy with no ideo how to implement them in a meal. I spend $50 or so of money i dont have. I come home, put it in the fridge and leave it for 3weeks or i try to cook it, and then leave that in the fridge for 3 weeks. I have no idea how to fix this. I dont even effing know how to feed myself. Im 21 and this has been going on and off for 3 years. I can never get it right. It sounds so stupid typing it out, but i. Have. Tried. And this is how it always happens.
The only time im able to cook something and actually eat it is when i cook big pot meals, i.e chilli, tacos, soup. Something where all ingredients are cooked in the same pot. Problem with this is that it often is not balanced, and its the only things i have so it becomes breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack for as long as it exists= binge.
Plus, i cant seem to get rid of the all or nothing mentality- which is to say i keep trying to wright until my diet is in order before i exercise.
I dont mean to sound like a brat, but there are sooo many things i want to do, i want to travel mexico and spain. I want to go back to school. I REFUSE to do it with 200 more lbs in the passenger seat. Please help
1
Replies
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You say you've tried everything, so I just want to confirm. Have you tried consistently logging and hitting a specific calorie goal that puts you at a deficit?
It's the only thing that ever worked for me long-term.26 -
I dont get that far. I have tried it, yes, but if im continuously falling into a pattern where i cant feed myself, what am i logging?0
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janejellyroll wrote: »You say you've tried everything, so I just want to confirm. Have you tried consistently logging and hitting a specific calorie goal that puts you at a deficit?
It's the only thing that ever worked for me long-term.
All of this. Eat the food you like and stay in a deficit.10 -
HermosaKas wrote: »I dont get that far. I have tried it, yes, but if im continuously falling into a pattern where i cant feed myself, what am i logging?
Do you mean there are long periods when you aren't actually eating or do you mean there are periods when you aren't eating "well" or "healthy" (whatever term you apply to it)?
Some people have success with just beginning with regular logging -- that is, logging whatever they are eating day to day, even if it isn't "healthy" (I'm putting these in quotation marks, by the way, because I don't think they are incredibly useful terms and I think they can lead to paralyzing self-judgment, kind of like what seems to be happening here). Once you have a log established that reflects what you're actually eating, you can review it for trends and identify simple changes you can make to help you create a deficit.
You wouldn't even have to do that alone, if you had a couple weeks of logging there are people here who would be happy to help you brainstorm changes.7 -
There are so many things to look at here. First if you are sabotaging yourself perhaps it's time to get some personal counselling? If you don't feel that is the problem maybe you need to see a nutritionist who can help you come up with meals you can make easily and inexpensively. For myself I found I just needed to get started and have some success. The trouble with losing and gaining is that you lose faith that you will actually lose it and keep it off. There are many people in the Maintenance threads who have done it. I read them sometimes for inspiration. I had to learn what I could live with for life. Don't see it as a diet; see it as a lifestyle change. Make changes you can live with permanently. I hate most exercise but I love to walk. I started walking short distances and now walk 6 days a week to get in anywhere from 8000 to 12000 steps a day. Still not a huge amount of exercise but I can do this for the rest of my life. When it came to diet I found certain things I was unwilling to give up. Sour cream for one. I still use 2 tablespoons on a baked potato. I eat a small potato and I'm satisfied with that. I count the calories and if I lose a bit slower but can maintain the loss it's worth it. I've lost 95 pounds from my all time high weight and I'm 60 years old. You can do it. Take your time and do it one step at a time. Don't expect to get skinny overnight but every pound you lose you will feel and look better.14
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Your post was inspiring, not because of successes but because of efforts on your part. I so relate. I can't count the times I have joined MFP or WW before. I start out great for maybe a month then blow it to Kingdom Come. I'm back again, "trying" again. Never seems to change. I sit here close to 300 lbs. This just isn't right, there must be something I am missing. Restriction is a b****!!! My emotional make up and personality just don't abide by it well. So this time I am going slow (though I want it yesterday
). I am putting myself at losing 1/2 lb per week. It gives me an overflow of calories. Like today, I am under by 200 calories...that makes me feel good, as opposed to blowing it and being over and dealing with the negativity. Well, I'll see how it goes. I wish you all the luck in the world. Your honesty is refreshing and it will help you accomplish your goals. 15 -
Start small. Change one habit at a time. From what you've written, it seems like you struggle with meal planning and not knowing how to cook.
Meal Prepping may be for you. They are often "big pot" meals, divided into daily amounts. I make one big meal each for breakfast and lunch, myself. This week, I have a sweet potato and ground chicken hash with onion/apples for breakfast and steak bites and roasted sweet potatoes and carrots for lunch.
A quick way to meal prep for a work week might be baked and seasoned chicken, and roasting a sheet pan of your favorite veggies that have been tossed with olive oil and salt and pepper. Add a reasonable amount of rice. BAM, done with your lunches and it's taken about an hour to put it all together. It's also great for the budget too!
You can also look into a meal delivery service, like HelloFresh, particularly if you have more calories allotted than me. For a single person, each meal kit is two meals AND has the benefit of teaching you how to cook.
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SilverBells wrote: »Your post was inspiring, not because of successes but because of efforts on your part. I so relate. I can't count the times I have joined MFP or WW before. I start out great for maybe a month then blow it to Kingdom Come. I'm back again, "trying" again. Never seems to change. I sit here close to 300 lbs. This just isn't right, there must be something I am missing. Restriction is a b****!!! My emotional make up and personality just don't abide by it well. So this time I am going slow (though I want it yesterday ). I am putting myself at losing 1/2 lb per week. It gives me an overflow of calories. Like today, I am under by 200 calories...that makes me feel good, as opposed to blowing it and being over and dealing with the negativity. Well, I'll see how it goes. I wish you all the luck in the world. Your honesty is refreshing and it will help you accomplish your goals.
Slow and steady wins the race! I applaud you for your wisdom. Take your time and as you have more success you will be more motivated. Plus you will learn so much! Keep going my friend you are doing the right thing.2 -
cheryldumais wrote: »There are so many things to look at here. First if you are sabotaging yourself perhaps it's time to get some personal counselling? If you don't feel that is the problem maybe you need to see a nutritionist who can help you come up with meals you can make easily and inexpensively. For myself I found I just needed to get started and have some success. The trouble with losing and gaining is that you lose faith that you will actually lose it and keep it off. There are many people in the Maintenance threads who have done it. I read them sometimes for inspiration. I had to learn what I could live with for life. Don't see it as a diet; see it as a lifestyle change. Make changes you can live with permanently. I hate most exercise but I love to walk. I started walking short distances and now walk 6 days a week to get in anywhere from 8000 to 12000 steps a day. Still not a huge amount of exercise but I can do this for the rest of my life. When it came to diet I found certain things I was unwilling to give up. Sour cream for one. I still use 2 tablespoons on a baked potato. I eat a small potato and I'm satisfied with that. I count the calories and if I lose a bit slower but can maintain the loss it's worth it. I've lost 95 pounds from my all time high weight and I'm 60 years old. You can do it. Take your time and do it one step at a time. Don't expect to get skinny overnight but every pound you lose you will feel and look better.
I have tried to speak to my counselor about it. I have had her since about 16 for probs with depression then, but she is kinda checked out on weightloss. I have explained to her that I stagnate myself and purposely prevent my success because I dont feel like i deserve it being obese, and she wrote it off. I love her, but to her, my weight isnt a huge deal, and she knows all of the things i have accomplished so i guess to her she feels like i will accomplish this as well. But now idk. I know what you guys are saying is correct, and i will do these things, but there is something missing. There has to be a reason this keeps happening to me and i am struggling to find it.
Today i have not had anything to eat. Its almost 1pm. I go to work 4:45-12:30a today. Probably wont eat until lunch at 7.
Off the top of my head, i could go to the store now and make a salad. I hate salads, but they are easy. Probably spinach and that already made tyson chicken breast. Add some onion? And then i have a microwave sweet potato. Feel free to throw a better meal in here, you guys. Im all ears0 -
SilverBells wrote: »Your post was inspiring, not because of successes but because of efforts on your part. I so relate. I can't count the times I have joined MFP or WW before. I start out great for maybe a month then blow it to Kingdom Come. I'm back again, "trying" again. Never seems to change. I sit here close to 300 lbs. This just isn't right, there must be something I am missing. Restriction is a b****!!! My emotional make up and personality just don't abide by it well. So this time I am going slow (though I want it yesterday ). I am putting myself at losing 1/2 lb per week. It gives me an overflow of calories. Like today, I am under by 200 calories...that makes me feel good, as opposed to blowing it and being over and dealing with the negativity. Well, I'll see how it goes. I wish you all the luck in the world. Your honesty is refreshing and it will help you accomplish your goals.
Thank you. I really hope to see you on the other side of it all *tries to figure out out to add you* and when it comes to my honesty- trust me, i used to be allll about anonymity. I post under anons of hopes of a big reveal when all the weight has been lost- (when my success is a huge barrier to any shame i may feel for having been well over 300 lbs) but i obviously cant do this by myself so im going ALL in. Eff it. I know all about feeling like you're missing something.
I know i love to be comfortable. I mustve mad this account 4 years ago and can count the number of times i have logged it. Def only used the forums once or twice. Kudos for you for trying to do it slow. Im still not there yet. I know that once i'm truly on track, i can do it- which is why i refuse WLS even though its looking better and better.3 -
Going without food all day isn't the best idea. Some people swear by it but for myself I get too hungry then I lose control. If you hate salad then don't eat it. What about some cottage cheese? It's easy to pack quickly and doesn't take any prep. Another idea for another day would be to boil some eggs for a quick grab and go. Protein tends to stick with you longer and if you don't overdo it the calories aren't bad either. When my protein is low I snack on low fat string cheese. One stick is 60 calories. Now some veggies are always a good bet but if you hate them start with fruit. At your current weight although fruit is higher in sugar and calories it has alot of fibre and is again an easy grab and go. Apples are wonderful. Bananas are much higher calorically but again you have some leaway right now because you are burning more calories at your current weight. For snacking my go to is LOW FAT popcorn. At first I thought nah, not gonna taste good but when you are hungry things tend to taste better, lol.
I'm sorry your counsellor isn't more help. It sounds like you have a good relationship with her otherwise so maybe she could refer you to a nutritionist? I saw one for a while and she was hugely helpful. At first I was not willing to try her suggestions but then I started finding some of her ideas worked and it really helped me alot.
As for sabotaging yourself I can't say too much here but I am a person of faith and God really helped me see who I am. I don't want to start a battle here on the message boards but I had to at least mention that was huge in helping me to overcome my self-destructive behaviors.2 -
Do you have a crockpot? I put chicken breast, a chicken taco seasoning packet, and half a jar of salsa in a crockpot on low for 6 or so hours, shred, put back on for another hour. Then I make a bunch of burritos with the chicken and whole wheat tortillas, refried black beans, and just a little bit of cheese. I wrap them in paper towels and store them in ziplock bags in the freezer. I take one out each day to defrost in the fridge and nuke them for dinner or lunch. You can even just reheat them frozen, just do it on a low power setting for a longer time. You can also use whatever leftover chicken meat you have for taco salads, chili, soup, or whatever else.6
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HermosaKas wrote: »When it come to the food, i try to eat healthy. I go to the grocery store with a grocery list full of things that are healthy with no ideo how to implement them in a meal. I spend $50 or so of money i dont have. I come home, put it in the fridge and leave it for 3weeks or i try to cook it, and then leave that in the fridge for 3 weeks. I have no idea how to fix this. I dont even effing know how to feed myself. Im 21 and this has been going on and off for 3 years. I can never get it right. It sounds so stupid typing it out, but i. Have. Tried. And this is how it always happens.
The only time im able to cook something and actually eat it is when i cook big pot meals, i.e chilli, tacos, soup. Something where all ingredients are cooked in the same pot. Problem with this is that it often is not balanced, and its the only things i have so it becomes breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack for as long as it exists= binge.
Okay, here's one suggestion.
You obviously don't like to cook. I don't like it either. I live by myself and have no interest in cooking. Find some quick meals you do like and branch out from there.
Examples from my day (I'm a vegetarian, but you could adapt to your lifestyle):
Breakfast: instant oatmeal (yes, evil instant -- it has the same nutrition as the kind you have to cook). Add hot water and you're done.
I throw in almonds, walnuts, and a sliced apple.
Lunch and/or dinner:
Canned soup (I like Amy's brand -- high quality and tastes good)
Takeout spinach salad (I buy several at a time in small containers to cover 2-3 days)
Lentils or other beans -- you could cook from scratch or use canned
Steamed veggies like kale and chopped summer squash -- takes 1 minute prep and a few minutes to simmer.
Silk Protein Nutmilk (10 g protein per cup and it tastes okay)
4 -
I have a family and a life, I really don't have time to change my whole family's meals so I stick with what we've always eaten and what I know how to cook adding maybe one new recipe a month for "fun" and not cause it's my idea of healthier food. My kids are very active and normal weight and my husband is very muscular so no one else in my family needs to be on a diet and I'm certainly not going to put them on a diet.
Literally the only thing I've changed is my portions and personal food choices. Do I want 4 eggs or 3 small cookies? I'll take eggs, I'm really hungry3 -
If I were struggling this much with cooking, I'd get frozen meals with decent nutrition and either sign up for a cooking class or look for cooking tutorials online.
The other issues are things I don't have any experience with, but if I were seeing a counsellor and they were ignoring problems I was struggling with, I'd be looking for a new counsellor.4 -
Maybe your counsellor or doctor could recommend a dietitian? (assuming you have some type of insurance plan that might help to cover the costs)
You've had success dealing with other issues in counselling, so finding a professional who can help you figure out how to solve your food challenges and teach you about nutrition/cooking might help.
Also, it sounds like money might be an issue for you from something you said in your OP, so cooking classes might be difficult, but churches and community centres sometimes have inexpensive ones to help you learn how to make the most of your food dollars. Nothing is more expensive than food you throw away.
Depression and weight gain go hand in hand. If you are too depressed to make your health a priority, it's almost impossible to do the kind of work that healthy meal planning and preparation requires. Kudos to you to keep trying in the face of setbacks. It will never be easy, but keep taking baby steps and it will get easier.2 -
HermosaKas wrote: »cheryldumais wrote: »There are so many things to look at here. First if you are sabotaging yourself perhaps it's time to get some personal counselling? If you don't feel that is the problem maybe you need to see a nutritionist who can help you come up with meals you can make easily and inexpensively. For myself I found I just needed to get started and have some success. The trouble with losing and gaining is that you lose faith that you will actually lose it and keep it off. There are many people in the Maintenance threads who have done it. I read them sometimes for inspiration. I had to learn what I could live with for life. Don't see it as a diet; see it as a lifestyle change. Make changes you can live with permanently. I hate most exercise but I love to walk. I started walking short distances and now walk 6 days a week to get in anywhere from 8000 to 12000 steps a day. Still not a huge amount of exercise but I can do this for the rest of my life. When it came to diet I found certain things I was unwilling to give up. Sour cream for one. I still use 2 tablespoons on a baked potato. I eat a small potato and I'm satisfied with that. I count the calories and if I lose a bit slower but can maintain the loss it's worth it. I've lost 95 pounds from my all time high weight and I'm 60 years old. You can do it. Take your time and do it one step at a time. Don't expect to get skinny overnight but every pound you lose you will feel and look better.
I have tried to speak to my counselor about it. I have had her since about 16 for probs with depression then, but she is kinda checked out on weightloss. I have explained to her that I stagnate myself and purposely prevent my success because I dont feel like i deserve it being obese, and she wrote it off. I love her, but to her, my weight isnt a huge deal, and she knows all of the things i have accomplished so i guess to her she feels like i will accomplish this as well. But now idk. I know what you guys are saying is correct, and i will do these things, but there is something missing. There has to be a reason this keeps happening to me and i am struggling to find it.
Today i have not had anything to eat. Its almost 1pm. I go to work 4:45-12:30a today. Probably wont eat until lunch at 7.
Off the top of my head, i could go to the store now and make a salad. I hate salads, but they are easy. Probably spinach and that already made tyson chicken breast. Add some onion? And then i have a microwave sweet potato. Feel free to throw a better meal in here, you guys. Im all ears
That chicken, the sweet potato, and green beans, which you can get in a bag in the produce section and put in a bowl with a few drops of water and microwave steam. Add some salt and pepper and like half a tablespoon of butter and you have a dinner with protein, fat, carbs and fiber that isn't a salad.1 -
Btheodore138 wrote: »Do you have a crockpot? I put chicken breast, a chicken taco seasoning packet, and half a jar of salsa in a crockpot on low for 6 or so hours, shred, put back on for another hour. Then I make a bunch of burritos with the chicken and whole wheat tortillas, refried black beans, and just a little bit of cheese. I wrap them in paper towels and store them in ziplock bags in the freezer. I take one out each day to defrost in the fridge and nuke them for dinner or lunch. You can even just reheat them frozen, just do it on a low power setting for a longer time. You can also use whatever leftover chicken meat you have for taco salads, chili, soup, or whatever else.
Great! I'll try this. What are you breakfast, dinner, snacks like? Past history says if i do this, ill wait until about 3p eat one or 2 throughout the day and nothing else because i'll get full and it wont be a binge trigger, but i wont eat anything else. Its ridiculous but i always end up starving when i eat clean, at first my appetite plummets and of course thats unsustainable- so goal is to preempt myself this time.
Dont mind my grocery list
*chicken breasts
*Medium salsa
*Taco seasoning
*Bell pepper
*whest wrap1 -
Any premade TV dinner in your calorie range would do good to start You can expand from there hang in there and good luck1
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HermosaKas wrote: »Btheodore138 wrote: »Do you have a crockpot? I put chicken breast, a chicken taco seasoning packet, and half a jar of salsa in a crockpot on low for 6 or so hours, shred, put back on for another hour. Then I make a bunch of burritos with the chicken and whole wheat tortillas, refried black beans, and just a little bit of cheese. I wrap them in paper towels and store them in ziplock bags in the freezer. I take one out each day to defrost in the fridge and nuke them for dinner or lunch. You can even just reheat them frozen, just do it on a low power setting for a longer time. You can also use whatever leftover chicken meat you have for taco salads, chili, soup, or whatever else.
Great! I'll try this. What are you breakfast, dinner, snacks like? Past history says if i do this, ill wait until about 3p eat one or 2 throughout the day and nothing else because i'll get full and it wont be a binge trigger, but i wont eat anything else. Its ridiculous but i always end up starving when i eat clean, at first my appetite plummets and of course thats unsustainable- so goal is to preempt myself this time.
Dont mind my grocery list
*chicken breasts
*Medium salsa
*Taco seasoning
*Bell pepper
*whest wrap
Suggestion: if "eating clean" makes you feel like you're starving, then don't eat clean.
You can be at a deficit without eating clean. I am also prone to binges when I try to eliminate too many foods, so I just focus on a deficit for weight loss.10
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