Weightloss. Im so over myself. Everything i have tried has failed.
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OP, you don't have to eat special foods to lose weight. While eating lots of "healthy" food is best, you would be better off being a healthy weight and eating convenience foods than being obese.
Start off just logging, no matter what you are eating, for a week. Then figure out how to cut that back just a little, maybe 250 cals. And do that for a few weeks.
Once that is going well, set your goal to lose 1 lb per week and start trying to hit that number.
If you have a bad day, no worries, just shrug it off and try again tomorrow.
If you don't have a trainer anymore, walk around the block. Or dance around your room. Is it perfect - No. But it's something, and it can help.
I eat frozen dinners, fast food, ice cream, etc sometimes. Not saying it like I'm proud of it, but I'm lazy and I live alone and sometimes I just can't be bothered. I try to get as many veggies as I can, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I don't beat myself up, I just try again tomorrow.
You really can do this! Just stop looking at every day like a battle that you must be perfect to win. Do what you can. If right now what you can do is eat convenience foods but slightly less calories, then do that. It's not perfect, but it's better, and that's just fine
. Hang in there, and please take care of yourself. 6 -
When you have depression that 'letargy' to do anything about what bothers you and at the same time beating yourself up for the same thing is a hard one to overcome so my answer would be baby steps.
Why not start with just logging everything you eat, you don't even have to be accurate with weights/volumes just start, once you do that consistently start on the next step which can be accuracy but could also be spend time cooking 1 healthy meal a week or anything else that seems easy, skinny taste is great for well explained recipes, pick something that you like the look off, do that for a while and sure enough you get yourself a repetoire of recipes that you enjoy eating. Or aiming to eat at maintenance, anything like that.
Keep adding things to once you feel like your last change has become second nature and if you stop just start again at the beginning. This is where you have to work at telling your brain to stop being so negative and get on with it. I recognise a lot of your post in how my husband is too, he struggles with severe depression and very much has that all or nothing approach to a lot in life and the I don't deserve it attitude I tend to have to reduce his to do list and talk some reason with him as his expectations of himself are so high he ends up overdoing it, then it all goes wrong and he does nothing for ages, and berates himself in both scenarios (hope that makes sense). So I advocate small realistic goals/steps whether it be for changing how you eat or increasing exercise and that is not just for you but for anyone that decides they want to lose weight and keep it off.
You know, it takes about a month to make changes, being consistent, to stick to them so be prepared to be in it for the long haul. You have got this though, putting it all on the forums and asking for help is a great step to take.4 -
OP, it sounds like you find cooking intimidating and a bit scary. Would you say that is accurate? That's how I used to feel about cooking. I didn't know where to start. I definitely didn't know how to have multiple dishes going so that they were all done at the same time. (How did my mom do it?) Plus, if you're living by yourself, you produce sooo much food from most recipes, which IMO tends to lead to larger portions because you're so desperate to get rid of the last of the [whatever food] before it goes bad.
A couple tips for making cooking more manageable for newbie:
- Google "one pot meals" to find meals that can be made in one pot / on one baking sheet. For example, one-pan salmon, asparagus, and potatoes. (Hope the link works, lol.)
- Don't be afraid to make "too much" and then freeze individual portions. Great for quickly heating up later.
- It's totally okay to just dump canned green beans or corn into a pot and heat it up. If that makes you more likely / able to eat veggies, then go for it!
- My mom gave me a book called How to Boil an Egg for total cooking newbies and it really helped me. It assumed the reader knew NOTHING about cooking. It spelled out every step and also--and this is so useful when you're living alone--had a lot of recipes that made just one or two portions. I think this is the book but I'm not positive because it's a really common book title. Edit: You can find it cheaper on eBay than on Amazon.
- It's okay to have a "lazy" backup plan for days when you don't want to experiment. Lean Cuisine? Frozen burritos? Nutrigrain Bars? Bring 'em on. Also nice for when you don't want to calculate the calories in something home cooked, as the calories are right on the bag / box.
- Rice based meals and pasta based meals are some of the easier ones to "portion control" imo. (Just remember how much they expand, lol.) Like, dump some pasta into the water, drain, dump storebought pasta sauce on it, and bam you're done.
- You mentioned buying a lot of groceries that you want to cook with, but don't know how, and ultimately not doing anything with them. I HAVE BEEN THERE, lol. How about trying this: Look for a recipe in advance. Buy ONLY the things needed for that recipe. Make the recipe (and freeze leftovers so you aren't eating the same thing forever.) Use Lean Cuisine or whatever else is easy for your other meals until you feel like cooking something again.
As you become more comfortable with cooking, the intimidation factor will lessen and you'll probably find yourself cooking more. But it's okay to take baby steps.6 -
So, i thank you guys on all of the posts and i will take every one of them to heart- i thank you for being here with me and letting me vent considering i dont have anyone else to talk to about it- but anyone have advice on the anxiety and nausea thats bubbling up right now for being so present in this moment? Is this normal, does it go away? I guess after so many failures, every time i try something it just feels like im going to puke my guts out.1
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Honestly, if you feel like this is such a huge effort, maybe try working WITH yourself instead of fighting yourself.
For one week, forget everything you know about "dieting" and "Clean eating" and "what I should eat" and "binging" and "starving". Dont say those words at all. For one week, whatever you eat, log. Dont try to control or change anything. Just log it. Honestly, accurately. At this point, accuracy is not even all that important - get pretty close and learn what one portion looks like so you can honestly put you had 4 portions and get the calories close.
At the end of the week, add up your calories. If you ate about 5000 calories/day for 7 days, thats 35000 calories for the week.
Now, next week? for the next 7 days, try to eat less than that. I dont mean try to eat 2000 calories a day, or not eat or anything. Just keep logging everything you eat, and try to come in under 35000 for the week. Thats it. Dont care WHAT you eat, WHEN you eat, HOW you eat. Just keep logging and come in a little under what you did last week. If you come in more than about 3000 calories less than last week (i.e. 32000 for the week) chances are good you will lose a pound or two that week.
Every week , SIMPLY try to come in under the week before. Even if only by a few calories. if you dont make it that week and go over, start again - try to always eat less than the week before, even just by a little. It requires very little change to your life at all. This could literally be eating 3 servings of cereal for breakfast every day instead of 4. Or changing from whole milk to skim but eating the same amount. A minor substitution can make it so NOTHING changes for you, but you consume fewer calories. Look at the cheese you eat and pick one with 20 fewer calories. Look over your logs and pick one thing you could tweak a little so its less calories even if its the same amount of food.
This is not hard, you dont have to starve or change how you eat (not that those are not things you might want to work on, but strictly for weight loss you dont need to). You just need to eat LESS than you normally do. Over time, if you keep doing that you will absolutely lose weight, and you wont be starving. If you "binge" one day it doesnt even matter because you only care about coming in less for the whole WEEK.13 -
I love looking at success stories online. It really helps me to see the before and afters and makes me feel like Wow! If they did it I can totally do it! So, maybe finding some success stories that you can watch will give you motivation.
When it comes to food I'm not big on cooking. I get big bags of precooked Mesquite Grilled Chicken from Sam's club, freezer bags of veggies, and potatoes. I make the potatoes (sweet and russet) and cook them in the oven once a week. I take out my plastic containers once a week and put a frozen precooked chicken breast, some frozen veg, and about 125g of cooked potato in them. I make about 5 at a time for my lunches all week. You could do lunch and dinner for the whole week. I just pop the in the microwave at work for abt 1:30 min and it's delicious, nutritious, and fulfilling:) I like to also slice apples and dip in light n fit yogurt for snacks. It does not have to be difficult. Don't think you have to make elaborate meals. When I'm home I'll micro one of those chicken breasts and eat almost a whole freezer bag of broccoli with it, or a whole can of green beans or green peas:) There's videos on YouTube for meal prepping and a lot of them are very simple.3 -
i totally understand what you're going through. I'm very "all or nothing" too. I know I can be 100% or i'll be 0% and nothing in the middle. and the cycle comes and goes and when I lose track i'll go days or weeks until I snap out of it. so, you are NOT alone!
what others have said, start with small things and little steps.
make easy things to eat - if you don't like salads, don't eat them. wraps and sandwiches can be low calorie and filling, too. if you get the prepared chicken, you can get those microwavable rice cups, or make some rice (that's a cheaper option). add some veg- the bags of frozen vegetables are usually only $1. tuna is easy, or canned salmon, and cheap. I mix them with salsa and some onions and celery.
I eat a lot of ground turkey (or ground chicken) . ground turkey is often on sale, so i buy a lot and freeze it. you can do a million different things with them. I make ground turkey meatballs, turkey meatloaf, turkey with rice and vegetables, turkey burgers, turkey tacos, turkey chili- the list goes on and on!
eggs too- cheap and low calorie for 1 or 2, on wheat toast for breakfast keeps me from being hungry til lunchtime.
and yes chicken breasts- another food that you can prepare a ton of different ways!
your list is good
most importantly - don't beat yourself up if you get off track here and there. if you get off track one day, try your hardest to pick yourself up the next day, instead of going on stretches. I know, it's hard. but again, you are not alone in this!
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Hey there, same age and have struggled with weight my entire life too. I would suggest easy healthy cookbooks that serve 4 people (Weight Watchers 20 minute one is pretty tasty) and prep that way. You cook like 3 times a week and the food isn't as monotonous as prepping for an entire week. Breakfast can be smoothies, boiled eggs with toast, instant oatmeal, etc. Super easy foods, and lunch and dinner can be leftovers. Like others have said, I would see if you could get a session or two with a nutritionist about eating habits. I would also suggest that you limit eating out to 3 times or less a week so that you have to cook or prepare something that you have to eliminate waste. And to stay full, try aiming for high protein, high fat foods.1
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I think maybe you have an idea that you need to eat a certain way but there are a lot of confusing diets out there and that is a stumbling block. Have you considered seeing a registered dietician for help making a meal plan that suits you?
You can eat any food you want just the right portion sizes to fit your calorie deficit for weight loss. Protein, fats and fiber help people to be satisfied. Try to meet those goals. For health and satiety you may need to eat a certain way but weight management is still about calories so pay attention to those first.
Eat food you like and you'll stick to your plan easier. Try to totally change your diet overnight and you'll probably drop it in a few months.
Put your info into MFP, set a goal of no more than 2 lbs a week.
Start just logging eating normally. Then work on eating the number of calories you are told to eat for the rate you want to lose at. Log as accurately as you can.
Expect it to take time to lose. A couple of years even and then putting work into maintaining.
I've been meal planning for years. I write down a list of 28 dinners for the month and divide it into groups of 7 and shop for the week. I don't plan breakfast or lunches or snacks specifically because I eat a limited number of things for them. I know a large container of yogurt or a loaf of bread lasts a week for me. I keep a grocery list in my kitchen that I add to as I run out of things. Before going shopping I add anything I need for meals for the next week.
If you don't know how to cook a lot of things or don't feel bothered by eating the same foods there is nothing wrong with eating a limited rotating menu. If you are cooking for 1 consider scaling down recipes or dividing your food and freezing leftovers that you don't want to eat within a couple of days.
To learn how to cook you could get a kid's cookbook or basic book like Better Homes & Garden's cookbook. They often explain methods and tools and have basic recipes.
I eat pretty much the same foods I always did just in appropriate portion sizes for my goal. Maybe a slight increase in protein and more vegetables on my plate and less bread or crackers.
Prelogging helps me stick to my goals. Every morning I log what I will have for dinner, then lunch, breakfast and finally snacks. I tend to eat at the same times every day and the same calorie amounts at those times. Maybe more structure and routine to your daily schedule would help you too.
I eat between 1200-1400 calories without exercise. If I exercise I eat some of those calories.
I typically eat like this:
Breakfast- things like Greek yogurt, granola bars, cereal with milk, sandwich, dinner leftovers, fruit, or cottage cheese (about 200-300 calories)
Lunch- things like a sandwich, salad, or dinner leftovers (about 300-500 calories)
Dinner- something different every night of the month. (about 500-600 calories) Soup is awesome! I have soup once a week usually which is great reheated for lunches.
Snacks- things like fruit, chips, popcorn, pretzels, chocolate, cookies, granola bar, carrots, celery, broccoli, trail mix, eggs, pickles, cottage cheese (about 100-300 calories)
Things I have planned and had for dinner in recent months include:
chili, tomato, fassolatha soup, cheese, potato soup, black bean soup, lentil soup, beans & rice, broccoli cheese casserole, tator tot casserole, chicken noodle casserole, breakfast casserole, French toast, breakfast sandwiches, scrambled eggs, oatmeal, pancakes, chicken gyro, batsaria, Greek potatoes & chicken, falafel, fish & mac & cheese, spaghetti with meatballs, chicken yakisoba, hot dogs, veggie burgers, grilled cheese, chicken, quesadilla, tacos, burritos, salsa chicken rice casserole, fried rice, black bean potato nachos, Mexican manicotti, tandoori chicken, chicken legs, burgers, stuffed bread, French dip sandwiches, pizza, ravioli, stuffed cabbage
I find food ideas on Pinterest a lot.
http://www.budgetbytes.com
http://www.skinnytaste.com
http://www.allrecipes.com
http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2 -
Focus on fiber & protein first, then eat whatever you want, as long as it fits in your calories.
I tried everything for 15 years. I'd lose & regain. I've lost 47 lbs (and still losing - another 30 lbs until goal), and the only reason I've kept it off for 2+ years, is that I got real with myself. If I hate veggies, I won't eat them. I eat foods I like. If I want a chimichanga, I have one (or 2). You absolutely can do this.
Try planning your meals on MFP the night before. I always put my treats in first, like ice cream or chocolate. If I don't care what I'm eating, I'll just have high fiber oatmeal & eggs.
I aim to lose 1/2 to 1 lb each week, and if I want to lose more, I work out (walking or weights).
Before I got my fitbit, I used my phone to track my steps. A good rule is 30 minutes of any exercise or a 3 mile walk. I did 2 walks for 1.5 miles each.
Aim for simplicity, at least at first. This was my main grocery list every week:
Eggs
Onions
frozen chimichangas
Olive oil
Instant sweetened oatmeal (I put butter & milk in mine)
Whole milk
Butter
Apples
Bananas
ham
cheese
pita bread
Rice
Campbell's split pea soup with ham
Broccoli
Weigh everything.
Also, if you have a food that triggers loss of control, don't bring it home. I can't have potato chips at home. I'll eat a small bag sometimes, when I'm out. I don't bring it home because I lose control and I will eat the entire bag.
Also, intermittent fasting is great. I eat between 12pm and 8pm. This also allows me, on special occassions, to enjoy a meal out with family & friends without going over. I'll have high fiber oatmeal for lunch and then up to 1400 calories for supper .
Look at me rambling! I just remember feeling so hopeless and lost. You can do this. MFP has such a huge supportive community, and we've got you.
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twistedingenue wrote: »Start small. Change one habit at a time. From what you've written, it seems like you struggle with meal planning and not knowing how to cook.
Meal Prepping may be for you. They are often "big pot" meals, divided into daily amounts. I make one big meal each for breakfast and lunch, myself. This week, I have a sweet potato and ground chicken hash with onion/apples for breakfast and steak bites and roasted sweet potatoes and carrots for lunch.
A quick way to meal prep for a work week might be baked and seasoned chicken, and roasting a sheet pan of your favorite veggies that have been tossed with olive oil and salt and pepper. Add a reasonable amount of rice. BAM, done with your lunches and it's taken about an hour to put it all together. It's also great for the budget too!
You can also look into a meal delivery service, like HelloFresh, particularly if you have more calories allotted than me. For a single person, each meal kit is two meals AND has the benefit of teaching you how to cook.
I would suggest that the easiest habit to change first is logging.
Seeing it written down helps make it real, and gives you a solid baseline to make changes against.
What it really comes down to if you don't know what you're doing today, you don't know if you've made a change tomorrow.
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If I were struggling this much with cooking, I'd get frozen meals with decent nutrition and either sign up for a cooking class or look for cooking tutorials online.
The other issues are things I don't have any experience with, but if I were seeing a counsellor and they were ignoring problems I was struggling with, I'd be looking for a new counsellor.
Precooked frozen chicken or burgers and birdseye microwave bag veggies.
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Go travel - Go to school. You should love yourself at any weight and any stage of your life. People tend to think 'if I lose this weight I will automatically be happy', not necessarily. Be happy, do things for you, try new things, travel, make friends, etc. Find your happy.
I'm not going to lie, losing weight and keeping it off is hard. It does sound like you need to kick that 'all or nothing' attitude to the curb. Start small and work your way up. Maybe eat the things you like but weigh them on a food scale and make sure the portions are smaller than your normal. Find an activity you like, there is So much Variety out there. Walking, baseball, running, basketball, swimming, lifting, hiking, zumba, ....my favorite -volleyball! Start with once or twice the first week, then a day the next or do 10 minutes one day and add 5 more minutes the next day.
Willpower, eating habits and exercise takes practice and even for the professional - it's all trial and error.
Change your attitude, you can do it. Small things add up to be big things.5 -
When you are not trying to lose weight, what are you eating? Look for simple ways to cut calories from that food. If you're drinking soda/juice/tea/etc. with calories, what can you cut back? Drink more water, switch to lower cal alternatives, etc. Decrease portion sizes in general of the food you eat. Eat fewer sweets/snack food.
In general, cut back but especially on things that are higher in calories. Such as have a 6" sandwich if you'd normally have a 12". Cut out regular mayo, use light mayo and/or less of it. Eat more grilled/baked food, and less fried food. Cut back on sauces, creams. Use 'lighter' versions of things. Such as I buy a light white bread for sandwiches. Its about 75 calories for 2 slices of bread, rather than 150. Just some examples. For me, its not about changing everything about how or what I eat, but modifying so my calorie intake is less.3 -
happysherri wrote: »Go travel - Go to school. You should love yourself at any weight and any stage of your life. People tend to think 'if I lose this weight I will automatically be happy', not necessarily. Be happy, do things for you, try new things, travel, make friends, etc. Find your happy.
Well said! Incidentally, I was overweight when I went to college as an adult and it helped a lot with my depression. Previously I'd been stuck in a low-paying, very stressful job. I would have been miserable there regardless of how much I weighed. And I felt liberated in college, regardless of being overweight, because I was improving my future and enjoy learning. In the long run it put me in a better place mentally, which made it easier to lose weight. (Not that that is the reason I went to college, lol.)
In my post-college years, I was overweight but was also so much happier than the last time I'd been a healthy weight (high school). I wasn't happy BECAUSE I was overweight obviously, lol; what I'm saying is that my happiness was more a product of my overall mental state rather than "fat / not fat", and that happiness doesn't automatically "happen" when you hit a certain number on the scale.1 -
@HermosaKas: We are very goo at giving specific weight loss tips here, but not good at giving life advice. You seem to have some assets (job, counselor, youth, house, kitchen, internet, etc.), and some great life goals (travel, etc.). I worry that your weight is a serious liability to your health, particularly as you get older. The time to act is now!
My big-picture suggestion is that you leverage every available asset to get healthy. I would think you would qualify for a medical weight-loss program, but maybe you've already tried that.
In the end, it's up to you, of course. Learn the skills you need-- cooking, nutrition, fitness, etc.-- by reading books and taking classes (online info can be a bit suspect). Consult with professionals. Enter programs and support groups. Keep the ball rolling.
Hopefully, we'll hear about all your success in the upcoming years. Best of luck!2 -
First off you have to start small. When I "dieted" in the past it was always way to much change. I had a lot of emotional issues with food, and self image. I've always been heavy, and school and home life were ruff. What has helped me this time (I started and failed a lot before) was something clicking mentally. I learned not to "hate myself" and realize that I need to change myself because I want to, there is things that I want to do. I've also started "rewarding" myself for doing a good job (I'm planning a few day hike to a mountain lake), but I don't belittle or berate myself for "failing" by going over my calorie limit for the day I log it and move on, knowing that tomorrow is a new start.
You need to work on you, and what I mean by that is stop and try to figure out why your not happy with yourself( and it sounds like its not just the weight that's causing you problems, I had "friends that would belittle me" and my dad would put me down). Nobody deserves to feel like they shouldn't be happy. You don't deserve to be unhappy because you're overweight. Do you have a close friend that you can talk this over with, that would tell you like it is? Maybe bring it up again to your counselor.
I had some trouble about a couple of weeks ago with being just extremely hungry. There are people on here that will help if you ask. The good people on MFP suggested I switch up my macros and I haven't been left hungry since(still tweaking them to find out what works best for me). There is no "bad" food its about moderation, I work it in to my macros and calories so I can have bacon and eggs for breakfast. I find it really fills me up and satisfies me. I chop up some broccoli and mushrooms and cook them before adding eggs for my scrambled eggs in the morning. For lunch today I am going to have a wrap(low carb tortilla with roast beef and black forest ham, and pepper jack cheese) with cottage cheese. A lot of people on here say not to restrict your foods because of your diet will suffer, and it makes the cravings way worse. Is there an adult learning center there that you could take a class on for cooking? Talk to the Human Resource Council in your area and they should be able to point you in the direction of some one that could help locate a class.2 -
stanmann571 wrote: »twistedingenue wrote: »Start small. Change one habit at a time. From what you've written, it seems like you struggle with meal planning and not knowing how to cook.
Meal Prepping may be for you. They are often "big pot" meals, divided into daily amounts. I make one big meal each for breakfast and lunch, myself. This week, I have a sweet potato and ground chicken hash with onion/apples for breakfast and steak bites and roasted sweet potatoes and carrots for lunch.
A quick way to meal prep for a work week might be baked and seasoned chicken, and roasting a sheet pan of your favorite veggies that have been tossed with olive oil and salt and pepper. Add a reasonable amount of rice. BAM, done with your lunches and it's taken about an hour to put it all together. It's also great for the budget too!
You can also look into a meal delivery service, like HelloFresh, particularly if you have more calories allotted than me. For a single person, each meal kit is two meals AND has the benefit of teaching you how to cook.
I would suggest that the easiest habit to change first is logging.
Seeing it written down helps make it real, and gives you a solid baseline to make changes against.
What it really comes down to if you don't know what you're doing today, you don't know if you've made a change tomorrow.
I think it depends on what you want to change first. Mine's good if you want to focus on cooking skills first, logging is good if you want to be aware of what you eat first.
For me, logging really only clicked after I started to cook for myself. I've suffered from depression and anxiety on and off all my life, and logging only made me feel guilty for so many reasons. Learning to break down cooking and meal prep, developing standard meals, that was more important and was a form of productive self-care while I struggled through recovery.
Now logging is easier and I don't feel guilt over the foods I eat, or hide things from my log, that sort of thing.
But it really comes down to what the individual needs and wants.0 -
I dont want to sound harsh, but sometimes, reality is just that.
You either do it or you dont. No one can motivate you. You have to want to lose weight more than anything else in your life - seriously. Because to be successful requires motivation, willpower, commitment, consistency, dedication, and focus. If you dont have those things, you will continue to let food rot in your fridge.
MFP makes the actual process a lot easier, but it sounds like you havent even gotten to the commitment stage. You will continue to smash your head against a wall in frustration until you do.
You dont have to be perfect, you just have to be sincere in your efforts.
I hope you find your AHA! moment soon - good luck!1 -
I eat try to eat high fiber/high protein combos, which are the best for satiety. I usually start the morning with egg whites scrambled with some cheddar and served on top of some whole wheat or rye toast. Lunch is usually one of those burritos, or some tuna salad on triscuits, or leftovers from the night before. Dinner is a variety of things I have meal prepped ahead of time...burritos, quinoa chickpea bowls (I have a recipe if you want it...it's super easy), taco salad (using that shredded chicken), or just a simple chicken and veggie stir fry. Snacks are Oikos Triple Zero greek yogurt, apples dipped in PB, string cheese and triscuits, or pistachios. I have two small kids so I try to make everything as easy as possible for me to eat healthy during the week.0
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