How can you live with someone you hate?

khorshidnaz16
khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
edited November 17 in Chit-Chat
Can you imagine how much it is difficult?
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Replies

  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Can you imagine how much it is difficult?
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Do you have any idea?
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Is this an abstract lament or is it time for you to run away?
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Sometimes we cannot run away. We should stay and bear.
  • Nixi3Knox
    Nixi3Knox Posts: 182 Member
    Do I have any idea?? I lived with a guy for over 3 years. Eventually we broke up but were still forced to live together. I had no car, or money saved thanks to him. We lived together for 6 LONG months. I had also quit smoking during that time so the urge to choke him out was strong indeed. Especially since he loved to nit pick and start fights. So yeah. I lived with someone I thoroughly hated. For 6 months and we both lived to tell about it.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    Can you imagine how much it is difficult?

    Why don't you tell us....
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Maybe you have an Experience and can help others. Sometimes we really do not know what should we do about our problems.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Seriously, contact your local police and ask if they can direct you to a local women's shelter.

    In my country, state, and city, the location of the women's shelter is not published. People who need it can only find it with help from the police.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I don't have to. I lived it for a short time. Such a life is intolerable.
  • Nixi3Knox
    Nixi3Knox Posts: 182 Member
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    Maybe you have an Experience and can help others. Sometimes we really do not know what should we do about our problems.

    What is going on? Is a room mate you do not get along with, an abusive relationship, is this a situation you are not able to leave for whatever reason? A little insight would make it easier to advise you.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Secretly save money and when the time is right make a run for it . If your life is in danger run now
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    You can imagine that a woman hates her husband, but she cannot seperate because of some resons. So she should bear that life without love.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Nixi3Knox wrote: »
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    Maybe you have an Experience and can help others. Sometimes we really do not know what should we do about our problems.

    What is going on? Is a room mate you do not get along with, an abusive relationship, is this a situation you are not able to leave for whatever reason? A little insight would make it easier to advise you.

    This. If you're actually asking for advice then you need to give more details.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    You can imagine that a woman hates her husband, but she cannot seperate because of some resons. So she should bear that life without love.

    I can't see any reasons why she couldn't leave if she really wanted to?
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    For example, having children or money problems.
  • Nixi3Knox
    Nixi3Knox Posts: 182 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    You can imagine that a woman hates her husband, but she cannot seperate because of some resons. So she should bear that life without love.

    I can't see any reasons why she couldn't leave if she really wanted to?

    Not always true. There situations so extreme that a person is being held against their will. Not saying this is that case, but it's not always as simple as just leaving. Sometimes you can't leave.
  • Nixi3Knox
    Nixi3Knox Posts: 182 Member
    edited April 2017
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    For example, having children or money problems.

    My advice is:
    1) If there is abuse whether children are involved or not then do everything you can to leave. If you cannot leave and need help please tell someone who can help you.

    2) If it is a bad relationship that was once good but is now no longer good ask yourself if you want it to be good again. Maybe it can be. Work on it. If the other party is not willing to work on it then they don't want the relationship and you should prepare to exit. If there is cheating involved then just get out.

    3) Is it bad because of money? Who is ruining the finances and how? A problem such as drugs, alcoholism, gambling, compulsive shopping etc... should receive counseling. Simply abusing the household funds by spending frivolously should be addressed and if not stopped then active measure should be taken.

    4) Is the relationship sour because of the kids? Not as much romance or connectivity? Then make time for each other. Try to find some amount of time daily , even if it's just 15 minutes, to just be together talking, snuggling, watching the sunrise or sunset, having coffee or watching a favorite t.v. show. Neglect your relationship because you put all of your energy into the kids and spare none for the relationship and you will have problems for sure.

    5) Do you live with a friend or relative (or do they live with you) who has children and seems to be leeching off of you? Always running up bills, eating all the food in the house etc.... and not paying their share of living expenses? Leave or ask them to find a new home within 30 days. Be firm if they live with you and leave no room for them to drag out their stay. They should get out and if you have to call one of their relatives to ask assistance in getting them out then do that.

    That ought to about cover it.
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Thank you for your good advise.
    Nixi3Knox wrote: »
    khorshidnaz16 wrote: »
    For example, having children or money problems.

    My advice is:
    1) If there is abuse whether children are involved or not then do everything you can to leave. If you cannot leave and need help please tell someone who can help you.

    2) If it is a bad relationship that was once good but is now no longer good ask yourself if you want it to be good again. Maybe it can be. Work on it. If the other party is not willing to work on it then they don't want the relationship and you should prepare to exit. If there is cheating involved then just get out.

    3) Is it bad because of money? Who is ruining the finances and how? A problem such as drugs, alcoholism, gambling, compulsive shopping etc... should receive counseling. Simply abusing the household funds by spending frivolously should be addressed and if not stopped then active measure should be taken.

    4) Is the relationship sour because of the kids? Not as much romance or connectivity? Then make time for each other. Try to find some amount of time daily , even if it's just 15 minutes, to just be together talking, snuggling, watching the sunrise or sunset, having coffee or watching a favorite t.v. show. Neglect your relationship because you put all of your energy into the kids and spare none for the relationship and you will have problems for sure.

    5) Do you live with a friend or relative (or do they live with you) who has children and seems to be leeching off of you? Always running up bills, eating all the food in the house etc.... and not paying their share of living expenses? Leave or ask them to find a new home within 30 days. Be firm if they live with you and leave no room for them to drag out their stay. They should get out and if you have to call one of their relatives to ask assistance in getting them out then do that.

    That ought to about cover it.

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    If you have access to the internet you have access to women's shelters who can and will help you with money and children.

    You don't have to stay where you are.
  • Blackdawn_70631
    Blackdawn_70631 Posts: 283 Member
    Droppinelbees wrote: »
    I'm sorry but the energy these great awesome people are putting in to your posted question is nowhere close to being matched by your responded energy so it's hard to feel sorry for you. I have one of the biggest hearts out there but approaching the middle of the thread I went from feeling sorry, to feeling confused, to feeling over it due to the lack of communication on your part. Maybe your not ready for change yet. In any event I hope you completely change your situation around for the best. Love, light and peace to you. I'm so out ✌

    Agreed.
  • khorshidnaz16
    khorshidnaz16 Posts: 144 Member
    Thank you all very much. You helped me a lot.
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    abitoftrouble wrote: »
    This is most marriages I know. It's why alcohol exists

    Alcohol makes it worse.

    Been there. Done that.

    It's a depressant.

    It will only numb you to the problems for so long.
  • Nixi3Knox
    Nixi3Knox Posts: 182 Member
    edited April 2017
    .
  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    You can't - it's not gonna last long, unless you are a masochist
  • canary_girl
    canary_girl Posts: 366 Member
    Carillon_Campanello wrote: »
    abitoftrouble wrote: »
    This is most marriages I know. It's why alcohol exists

    Alcohol makes it worse.

    Been there. Done that.

    It's a depressant.

    It will only numb you to the problems for so long.

    Alcohol most definitely makes it worse. We had problems that may have been able to overcome if not for alcohol.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Meh. Interesting how conditions can dictate some parts of our lives. People, especially young people pull all that bravado crap, but until you live in some of these situations you never know.
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