Sabotage
gemigirl68
Posts: 38 Member
Sometimes I feel like people intentionally eat crap around me and offer me things they know I don't eat to sabotage my healthy lifestyle... (I'm not tempted btw). Anyone else experiencing this? Do you keep quiet or speak you mind??
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Replies
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Did they have these same behaviors when you weren't dieting? You're the one who has changed, they haven't.9
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People getting on with their lives and trying to be pleasant by offering you nice things.
What is the world coming to.15 -
That's NOT sabotage. That's temptation. If they "hid" food that's not conducive to your diet in your food and then you ate it, that would be sabotage. Offering food that isn't, is temptation.
And if they offer it, just politely say no. Don't make a big deal about it because that's when they will.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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gemigirl68 wrote: »Sometimes I feel like people intentionally eat crap around me and offer me things they know I don't eat to sabotage my healthy lifestyle... (I'm not tempted btw). Anyone else experiencing this? Do you keep quiet or speak you mind??
I'm not saying this is your experience but when I was "dieting" and restricting foods I felt resentful when someone ate what I was restricting. Like if I can't have it why eat it in front of me?
Once I decided to lose weight for ME and not restrict foods, I give zero care to what anyone eats. I eat fries but sometimes I chose a side salad and my husband orders fries I take a couple of his:).
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I don't think anyone eats crap around you to sabotage you on purpose. I have more faith in people than that. It might seem that way when you're on a diet.4
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I am most definitely doing this for me. I guess what I was trying to say I wouldn't offer someone who was trying to quit drinking or smoking a beer, or a cigarette... i am sure I'm somewhat sensitive to it now as well.2
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Just because you are avoiding certain foods doesn't mean everyone needs to. You are doing this for you. Don't think of it as they are doing it intentionally because chances are they aren't.4
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Any time someone offers me food I decide if I can fit it into my calories. If not, then I'll say no, but a few times I'll accept it and log it.5
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i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.3
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I know it can *feel* that way but I really doubt people are sabotaging you. I have to say "no" SOMETIMES and one of my friends who is also successfully losing weight stuffed herself with cupcakes and pizza at a birthday party in front of me. She doesn't eat like that all the time, and her "over day" happened to be for that party... mine is coming up for Rib-Fest. Remember, you are in control of what you eat and when you say yes and when you have to pass.0
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When someone changes their behavior that doesn't mean everyone else has to change behavior also. Humans have shared food forever, it's human nature to share food and it's such a big part of our culture that people don't think about it. No one is trying tosabotage you they are just trying to be nice and do what comes naturally.5
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How is what someone else eating sabotage?3
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Whenever someone does something different, it somehow "opens their eyes" to everything everyone else is doing. Case in point for me: I really didn't notice strollers in an amusement park till I started pushing one. Then I even noticed the TYPE of stroller BRANDS people were pushing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 9 -
when someone's eating, it's considered polite to offer whatever they're having to the person who's with them. it's up to you to say yes/no thank you, and that's that.no sabotage.while i was dieting, i never told my boyfriend not to order in pizza/junk food. i had/have a pantry full of cookies and chocolate.if the expiration date is not approaching, i rarely touch the stuff. and i love chocolate so it's not that i don't want them.it's a lifestyle change and you got to learn to say no no matter if it is junk or bananas.2
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People carrying on with their lives is not sabotage. Or mean. You do you, let them do what they like. You cannot expect everyone within a 30ft radius of you to give up foods you gave up.
Why did you give certain food up? You know giving up foods isn't necessary for weight loss, right? There are no "good" or "bad" foods, just good and bad habits and diets.
I personally eat a balance of nutritious and not do nutritious foods as recommended by a Dietitian. Yes, I still eat chocolate.
Drop the "healthy" and "crap" food labels. Nobody likes labels.1 -
Thanks for the comments that were supportive...I appreciate it!0
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Which were non supportive? The ones that you don't agree with?gemigirl68 wrote: »Thanks for the comments that were supportive...I appreciate it!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Which were non supportive? The ones that you don't agree with?gemigirl68 wrote: »Thanks for the comments that were supportive...I appreciate it!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bingo!3 -
The people who eat crap around me now are the same people who ate crap around me then...I changed things for myself...they are the same...it's not sabotage...they are doing the same things they've always done and I'm not sure why I would have any expectations otherwise.5
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Sometimes it feels like sabotage but it's highly unlikely to be malicious. People like making other people happy. If sugary tasty crap makes you happy, people who care about you will know that and offer you some out of love. It's not the kind of love you need right now, but they want to make you happy.
Sharing is also considered polite in many cultures, so even if they are just acquaintences they may be offering you food out of courtesy.
In case 1, a comment along the lines of "i know i love that food and you're being kind, but I need your support in eating healthy. Please don't encourage me to eat sugary crap."
In case 2, just say no thanks.
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gemigirl68 wrote: »Sometimes I feel like people intentionally eat crap around me and offer me things they know I don't eat to sabotage my healthy lifestyle... (I'm not tempted btw). Anyone else experiencing this? Do you keep quiet or speak you mind??
so you view people who eat what they want ("crap") as sabotaging/trying to sabotage you? but you say your not tempted... so whats the issue?5 -
i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway
Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back at him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
ETA: He can whatever junk food he wants in front of me, it doesn't bother me. It's when i cave and have "just 1" is when it goes downhill.2 -
Christine_72 wrote: »i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
My husband is very similar! Quite often he'll pick something up when we're shopping (a box chocolates for example) and say 'Just so you know, BEFORE I would have bought this for you. Just because I knew you'd like it. Now I won't. But I want credit for thinking of you!'
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Christine_72 wrote: »i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
My husband is very similar! Quite often he'll pick something up when we're shopping (a box chocolates for example) and say 'Just so you know, BEFORE I would have bought this for you. Just because I knew you'd like it. Now I won't. But I want credit for thinking of you!'
Haha very cute
No one makes it out of our house without a doggy bag, he just loves to make food for people. It brings him such joy when people enjoy his food, and he's so good at it too.
He's not overweight at all btw, so can't really relate to me saying no most of the time. He looks like a sad little puppy dog when i say no thanks, it makes me feel so bad and unappreciative, but i stay firm with him most of the time and he just has to start getting used to it (not holding out much hope for that though, he's been like this from day 1)0 -
Christine_72 wrote: »i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back at him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
ETA: He can whatever junk food he wants in front of me, it doesn't bother me. It's when i cave and have "just 1" is when it goes downhill.
Lol @ throwing food like a dog.0 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back at him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
ETA: He can whatever junk food he wants in front of me, it doesn't bother me. It's when i cave and have "just 1" is when it goes downhill.
Lol @ throwing food like a dog.
Yeah true! That's what i feel like sometimes :grumble: I'm going to say that to him next time "I'm not your freaking dog"! He'll just crack up laughing, i just know it.. 0 -
Christine_72 wrote: »i find a simple "no thanks" works wonders.
Ha i can say "no thanks" 50 times to my husband when he asks me if i want whatever snack he's making.. He will then walk in with a plate for me anyway Why he bothers to ask me in the first place is beyond me! He'll open a bag of chips, and will throw a couple on my lap. Sometimes I'll eat them, sometimes i'll throw them right back at him! I swear we look like a pair of seagulls at times lol
His reasoning is that he feels bad eating in front of me. He equates food with love and caring about someone, whereas i do not!
ETA: He can whatever junk food he wants in front of me, it doesn't bother me. It's when i cave and have "just 1" is when it goes downhill.
my boyfriend usually says "are you sure you want to eat that? do you have enough calories? i can make it go away for you..." hell yes i'm gonna eat that, and i'm gonna find the calories for it, so keep away!2 -
it can be hard to resist but got to remember that your the one trying to lose weight not them, my wife constantly is snacking on biscuits and chocolate and has takeaways frequently and yeah sometimes it sucks but she doesnt want to lose weight and i cant expect her not to eat what she likes just cause im trying to avoid them0
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My husband is 6'3 and 235lbs. He lifts, does no cardio, eats all day and is in way better shape than I am.
I speak my mind and call him a lucky mofo all the time ( for being married to me). As far as he eating right next to me when we are watching TV..Yeah poor guy needs his mixed nuts, has nothing to do with me.0 -
gemigirl68 wrote: »I am most definitely doing this for me. I guess what I was trying to say I wouldn't offer someone who was trying to quit drinking or smoking a beer, or a cigarette... i am sure I'm somewhat sensitive to it now as well.
You say that, but when I quit smoking I still had people offering me one. Mostly out of habit from them. You go out for a cigarette, you offer one up. You go to a bar, offer to buy someone a drink. Have a bag of chips, you offer them out. I know it might seem like sabotage, but it really probably isn't. Plus, it will set you up for future temptations.2
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