MOTHER IN LAWS
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cassandrarodriguez89
Posts: 239 Member
in Chit-Chat
My mother in law is driving me insane. She visits a lot. List of attacks by mother in law
1. Bashing me for being skinny, she says the gym is bad for mothers.
2. Attacking me for dust in cupboard and chocolate on floor. This was the day after I had 8 children at my house and I made a HUGE party for them. I literally had been cleaning non stop.
3. When I talk to her she ignores me and faces the other direction
4. Talking bad about me to her son after I complain to my husband about her screaming waking up our baby (she screams everything)
5. Her creating gigantic messes and leaving them for me to clean, last week she visted for a week and left behind tons of sugary foods on the counter (she said they were not supposed to be in fridge or cupboard) and she created millions of ants/cockroaches
6. Forcing my baby to sleep whenever she is left alone with him (not often) this makes him cry all day and ALL BLOODY NIGHT GRRRRRRR
7. Her ignoring anything I say because its NOT spanish! If she tries she does understand english, she just complains to my husband that he choose a gringa as a wife grrrrrrrrr
8. She does this to her daughters boyfriend as well! Aparently he is not good enough even though he is a kind man, a long time friend of the family and works in a swat team (police officer)
9. Yesterday husbands ex wife came to our house to hang out with her children (she is wonderful, I love her!) my mother in law spent hours talking to her in spanish and blew me off when I tried complimenting her! She turned the other direction and asked my husbands ex wife what she thought of her new coat.
10. Little insults all bloody day
I know I will never be good enough because everyone says that she is a mega *kitten* to anyone that is married or dates her children but regardless it still annoys me! Hubby's ex wife said my mother in law and her family helped influence her divorcing my husband.... thats how bad they are! But they are nice to her now because she is not with my husband.
Are all mother in laws INSANE?!?!? I hear people complain alot about them! I treat her with nothing but kindness. Cant wait till she leaves back for Mexico today!
1. Bashing me for being skinny, she says the gym is bad for mothers.
2. Attacking me for dust in cupboard and chocolate on floor. This was the day after I had 8 children at my house and I made a HUGE party for them. I literally had been cleaning non stop.
3. When I talk to her she ignores me and faces the other direction
4. Talking bad about me to her son after I complain to my husband about her screaming waking up our baby (she screams everything)
5. Her creating gigantic messes and leaving them for me to clean, last week she visted for a week and left behind tons of sugary foods on the counter (she said they were not supposed to be in fridge or cupboard) and she created millions of ants/cockroaches
6. Forcing my baby to sleep whenever she is left alone with him (not often) this makes him cry all day and ALL BLOODY NIGHT GRRRRRRR
7. Her ignoring anything I say because its NOT spanish! If she tries she does understand english, she just complains to my husband that he choose a gringa as a wife grrrrrrrrr
8. She does this to her daughters boyfriend as well! Aparently he is not good enough even though he is a kind man, a long time friend of the family and works in a swat team (police officer)
9. Yesterday husbands ex wife came to our house to hang out with her children (she is wonderful, I love her!) my mother in law spent hours talking to her in spanish and blew me off when I tried complimenting her! She turned the other direction and asked my husbands ex wife what she thought of her new coat.
10. Little insults all bloody day
I know I will never be good enough because everyone says that she is a mega *kitten* to anyone that is married or dates her children but regardless it still annoys me! Hubby's ex wife said my mother in law and her family helped influence her divorcing my husband.... thats how bad they are! But they are nice to her now because she is not with my husband.
Are all mother in laws INSANE?!?!? I hear people complain alot about them! I treat her with nothing but kindness. Cant wait till she leaves back for Mexico today!
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Replies
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The *kitten* just called me crazy after I asked my husband not to put water for my baby in bottles and only in sippy cups! She said "your insane, all of the people need water" ok, so she should insult me? I NEVER insult her and I was NOT saying dont give my son water, I was saying only in sippy cups. My sons pediatrician said she wanted the water to be given in a dfferent type of way then his formula, why? I dont know0
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When I was married I had problems initially with my mother in law. At one point I was done with it all and I took her out for coffee to explain that I didn't like how she treated me. She was able to explain how she felt as well and we got along better after we both committed to trying to meet in the middle on things.4
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Mi casa es no su casa.10
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »Mi casa es no su casa.
Yesssssss this!1 -
what if she's right?2
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When I was married I had problems initially with my mother in law. At one point I was done with it all and I took her out for coffee to explain that I didn't like how she treated me. She was able to explain how she felt as well and we got along better after we both committed to trying to meet in the middle on things.
Ive done this COUNTLESS TIMES!0 -
She sounds like a nightmare... I am so lucky to have a super chill, funny, supportive MIL.
What does your husband say about all of this? It should be his job to tell his mother to back off and treat his wife with respect. And set some boundaries if she's causing problems in your family and marriage.7 -
While im doing laundry she was trying to force my son to sleep!!!!! One extra nap and he screams all day and night, ive explained this a million times! She seen the proof! I hate my mother in law so much, she even tried running away when I tried getting my almost asleep son from her! WTF! He is tired she says, no woman your rocking him to sleep, what did you expect!?! Praying she leaves and never visits again0
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My ex mother in law was a big pain, but not like this. She was a queen-bee (still is) and had to always be the most important person in the room. She would literally go to her room and cry until when she was not put first in everything. . You can imagine what every Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter were like. .
But, in your case, you've got a bigger problem. . Your M.I.L. isn't just selfish, she's destructive and mean. I think you are right. It sounds like there's nothing you can possibly do that will make her warm up to you. I would simply do everything possible to avoid her entirely. Just thank your lucky stars she doesn't live in your neighborhood!. . Next time she comes to visit for a week, go on a vacation to the Bahamas with your family!
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I NEED to know how she forces a baby to sleep. I want that trick!!
Seriously, if she's leaving today just wash your hands of it and hope like hell she doesn't visit again for a while. And take notes for how not to behave someday when you're the MIL.4 -
She sounds like a nightmare... I am so lucky to have a super chill, funny, supportive MIL.
What does your husband say about all of this? It should be his job to tell his mother to back off and treat his wife with respect. And set some boundaries if she's causing problems in your family and marriage.
He is mexican. His family values are different. Mother in laws rule the roost in mexico!1 -
Cameron_1969 wrote: »My ex mother in law was a big pain, but not like this. She was a queen-bee (still is) and had to always be the most important person in the room. She would literally go to her room and cry until when she was not put first in everything. . You can imagine what every Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter were like. .
But, in your case, you've got a bigger problem. . Your M.I.L. isn't just selfish, she's destructive and mean. I think you are right. It sounds like there's nothing you can possibly do that will make her warm up to you. I would simply do everything possible to avoid her entirely. Just thank your lucky stars she doesn't live in your neighborhood!. . Next time she comes to visit for a week, go on a vacation to the Bahamas with your family!
YESSSS! This! Love it! Next visit I will do a trip
The avoiding her tactic is HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL. Im doing it now actually. With my son in my bedroom. Door shut. For all she knows I am putting him to sleep lol! Next time I will do a trip. 3 -
I NEED to know how she forces a baby to sleep. I want that trick!!
Seriously, if she's leaving today just wash your hands of it and hope like hell she doesn't visit again for a while. And take notes for how not to behave someday when you're the MIL.
I totally am! Dont wanna ruin my childs love life
Putting my son to sleep is easy. Do not allow him to move, hold him on your body and when he complains sing him a song that makes him tired. She sneaks off with my son all day doing this tactic until I peel him off her.0 -
MIL's are super difficult. Mine thinks I don't like her just because I'm not all fake and Super cheery all the time.
Or if I get defensive when she tries to mother me and she knows this pisses me off.
I lost my mum when I was 13, I don't want anyone else to mother me I'm a grown man damn it. She always compares her dad dieing when she was in her 40's of cancer to me finding my mum after she killed herself.
It's nothing like the same thing.
Sorry I shouldn't rant about this *kitten* but her problems are always worse than yours. I've put up with it for 13 years so far and I can see why she is single.
The FIL is an absolute hero and Saint. I love him like he were my own dad.1 -
MIL's are super difficult. Mine thinks I don't like her just because I'm not all fake and Super cheery all the time.
Or if I get defensive when she tries to mother me and she knows this pisses me off.
I lost my mum when I was 13, I don't want anyone else to mother me I'm a grown man damn it. She always compares her dad dieing when she was in her 40's of cancer to me finding my mum after she killed herself.
It's nothing like the same thing.
Sorry I shouldn't rant about this *kitten* but her problems are always worse than yours. I've put up with it for 13 years so far and I can see why she is single.
The FIL is an absolute hero and Saint. I love him like he were my own dad.
No thats totally different. Im so sorry for your loss 0 -
I actually like my mother-in-law a lot. She is very sweet, gentle, and considerate. My own mother drives my wife and brother's wife insane.
But mom, if you're on here, I love you!7 -
cassandrarodriguez89 wrote: »MIL's are super difficult. Mine thinks I don't like her just because I'm not all fake and Super cheery all the time.
Or if I get defensive when she tries to mother me and she knows this pisses me off.
I lost my mum when I was 13, I don't want anyone else to mother me I'm a grown man damn it. She always compares her dad dieing when she was in her 40's of cancer to me finding my mum after she killed herself.
It's nothing like the same thing.
Sorry I shouldn't rant about this *kitten* but her problems are always worse than yours. I've put up with it for 13 years so far and I can see why she is single.
The FIL is an absolute hero and Saint. I love him like he were my own dad.
No thats totally different. Im so sorry for your loss
No need, it was a long time ago. It's just one of those impossible things in life.
Your Mil is bullying you though and if your husband doesn't step in, it could get ugly.2 -
cassandrarodriguez89 wrote: »MIL's are super difficult. Mine thinks I don't like her just because I'm not all fake and Super cheery all the time.
Or if I get defensive when she tries to mother me and she knows this pisses me off.
I lost my mum when I was 13, I don't want anyone else to mother me I'm a grown man damn it. She always compares her dad dieing when she was in her 40's of cancer to me finding my mum after she killed herself.
It's nothing like the same thing.
Sorry I shouldn't rant about this *kitten* but her problems are always worse than yours. I've put up with it for 13 years so far and I can see why she is single.
The FIL is an absolute hero and Saint. I love him like he were my own dad.
No thats totally different. Im so sorry for your loss
No need, it was a long time ago. It's just one of those impossible things in life.
Your Mil is bullying you though and if your husband doesn't step in, it could get ugly.
Its happened before. When I talked to her about her behavior POLITELY last time she reacted like I called her names and hit her. Cried to my husband. He defended her. He is a major mama's boy... like I said she ruined my husbands last marriage.0 -
She sounds scared to lose her boy. Some how in true 90s movie fashion you need to prove how much you love him in a way that makes her understand.
Recommendations will be needed this is where my expertise ends0 -
So sorry you are going through this. Hopefully, it will be such a short time of aggravation in the long run. It really seems she doesn't like being replaced as the number 1 in her son's life.
I have been blessed with my Mil; thankfully, as we lived next door and with her over the years. My husband's ex-wife was a nightmare. His entire family hated her and vice versa. I had to prove very little as they were already aware I could be so much worse.
We've been very close off and on and I consider her as one of my mothers. She loves me and has always treated me with respect, as I've treated her. If a quarrel occurred, (together 23 years) my husband has ALWAYS stood by me unwavering. We are a unit.1
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