Embarrassed by trying to lose weight

I'm with you - I wouldn't say that I'm embarrassed about trying to lose weight (why should I be? I'm getting healthier!) but my weight loss is definitely something I put in the "nobody else's business" category. I recognize that not everyone is going to be supportive, so I don't mention it to anyone unless I know they're someone that won't offer an unwanted opinion.

Now that the cat's out of the bag with your family though, there's not much you can do except recognize that their opinion doesn't matter. As you said, you've done it before so you *know* you can do it again. If they don't believe you can, forget them; your results will speak for themself. I wouldn't really bother with trying to argue with them or engage about your weight loss. Depending on my mood, I might just placate them, thank them for the advice and smile because I know I'm going to keep on calorie counting, exercising, and doing what I want.

My mother is like that, but not as aggressively. I was always super-thin and muscular naturally until I hit 32....then it all changed. But my mother has been an unsuccessful yo-yo dieter since I was a child and now that I am working out and dieting, she makes negative and nasty comments and I brush them off because I know she's merely terrified that I'll succeed on my first try. Her comments only make me more determined to do it right and maintain it.

Those people are jealous and ashamed of their owen failures and projecting them onto you. If you must say something, I'd be straight up and say "Just because you failed, doesn't mean I will. But either way, your negative comments aren't helpful or in good taste, so I prefer you keep them to yourselves until you want to be the loving, supportive family you SHOULD be."

There's no excuse for tolerating that kind of behavior. Family, friends, coworkers, or ANYONE. Standing up for yourself and your health is part of the permanent, healthier lifestyle you are working for.

xcaranicolex wrote: »

To make a long story short- my husband mentioned in a large family gathering about my working out and tracking calories. First all the ladies (who admittedly are at least a generation older than me and mostly obese) started w the whole thing about how I don't need to lose (I do), that calorie counting will dry my breastmilk and cause my 3 month old to starve (it won't) and making comments about what I ate that day (I already felt bad as I was above my calories for day but chocked it up to the stress of the funeral). Anyway, they all started laughing at me basically saying i wasn't going to lose weight that way, and basically calling me vain for trying.

Prior to pregnancy I had lost 35lbs, so it's not that I don't know I can do it but I ended up feeling so embarrassed! Do you still feel that way? Does that go away? How to you politely respond or cope w ppl like that?

They have no right to be rude and laugh at you, even if they feel bad about being obese when you're trying to be a healthy weight.

They *might* have a right to be concerned about you if you've got your calorie limit set too low.

AFAIK breastfeeding takes care of your calorie deficit and you should have your MFP goals set to "maintain weight".

Kind regards and apologies if you already know this.

The older I get, the more I recognize my own failings. The human animal is very nasty to others. I do completely understand how you feel and it is valid, but I would suggest that you extend grace to the others, at least that helps me. People just suck, find a way to love them anyway.

First off, why did your husband open his big mouth? If you haven't yet already, tell him that what he did is not okay and he is NOT to do so again.

As for dealing with them, it depends on how close you are to them. You can confront them, "actually my Dr says that's *kitten*, and I'll go with his information since he's, you know, my DOCTOR" or Polite "Hmm, thanks for your concern" and change the topic. Or just walk away. Just because they are talking doesn't mean you have to stay and listen.