Motivation, Success and Frustration Sharing!

gemwolf, so nice to have your own desk, I'm sure you'll come up with a good schedule, just don't munch on trail mix all day, like I did before mfp, thinking it's healthy lol.jdelaroy, I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle, my prayers for your family. Welcome junebug, I too gained 70lbs with my first & never lost it all. We're glad you're here. I will say that as long as you keep at it, you'll succeed. Don't expect to change in a short period of time, just keep trying & moving forward. The only time we fail is when we give up & stop trying. Changing habits was a big deal in my life within the last 2 years, I'm not even talking about diet, buy in my thinking pattern & it took months of effort to get into a different thinking pattern, It was harder than changing what /how I eat but now a days, a lot of days it's become a new habit & i don't have to battle it every day. On a personal note, I'm very sore & tired. I'm sure it's from the Zumba, I've only gone 2 times & I don't think I should stop since it's not pain, just sore, even my butt is sore from shaking it, lol

junebug_13 wrote: »

First time posting on here! I am trying to "start" again but this time I want to mean it. I am 26 years old and have spent all of my 20's so far fat. I gained over 70 lbs with my daughter and have not lost it. I have put on more since then as well as having a son. I am so ashamed and unhappy with myself. I want to change. I need to change. It's obvious to me I have a food addiction and I need to look at food like fuel but it's so hard someday's. How do you handle the cravings? What are some of your favorite delicious healthy meals?

It was late when I posted before and I forgot I wanted to say something...I say this any time anyone says they are addicted to food...We all are, in the worst way. If we stop eating food...we die. Don't do that. Just change your relationship with it. It isn't 'just' fuel...it is one of the core pieces of culture. Amy culture. Look at all the cultural traditions that involve food. Even religious traditions (was at a Catholic funeral a couple days ago...wine, wafer, after-service meal, which I didn't go to). If all it is is fuel, we miss out on our culture and traditions and the things that hold families and communities together--think about big family events. I bet they all involve food. Food is literally life. Respect food, respect yourself. The most important piece is figuring out how that looks for you.

So, the folks who have been on here a while have heard all about the weight loss program I was on for 10 weeks recently. I really hated it...it was inconsistent and gave irresponsible advice. One of the things they said that I both liked and hated was this: Eat what you love. Why I like it: well, we all like to eat things that are delicious. Why I hated it: they followed it up with a whole lot of unlesses...unless it is yogurt that doesn't have 2x more protein than sugar (which is hard because yogurt has so much lactose)...unless it is wine...unless it is juice...unless it has sugar in it...etc. But I also disliked it because, as adults there are some things we may not love but we need to eat...in my case oatmeal. I don't love it. I don't hate it (usually...some days...). But I have high cholesterol and oatmeal is good for that...so I eat oatmeal even though it is not something I love or crave. And some people really don't love the veg (I LOVE veggies), but veg are really good for you. Maybe it is me, but I don't think not eating veg is a viable option (not if you want to be healthy).

But the point of the tangent...balance things you really love with foods you don't hate but are good for you. Ultimately, weight loss is less about what you eat and more about how much. People have lost weight on the twinkie diet (gross), eating nothing but McDonald's (so gross), eating Subway twice a day (snooze) and a variety of other insane diets...the reason: they managed portions and limited calorie. You can bet the McDonald's guy didn't eat Super Sized Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese meals every day with regular Coke. If you crave chocolate, eat some (just not a pound of it!). If you crave potato chips, eat some (just not the bag, like my husband likes to do). The stupid weight loss program claimed you couldn't lose weight if you drank wine. I probably had 8-10 glasses of wine while (not) doing the program...and I lost 15 lbs. You'll find we like wine and cheese and stuff like that in this forum.

Use a food scale to figure out what a portion really looks like. Some people get really hard-core on food scale...I'm more relaxed...I don't weigh everything, I don't obsess about one extra gram. But weighing helps keep what you're eating in perspective. Log everything. Use the meal and recipe feature to build your own bank of what you eat/like. Sometimes the database entries are weird and crazy...find the ones that seem to match (or add some of your own). You'll have to decide how much of certain things you will eat (not can eat...will eat). Keep w/in your calories. Move (You have two kids, this part shouldn't be hard). Try teaming up with others near you who want to lose...and add friends here. Ask your husband/boyfriend/partner/etc to support you (not necessarily to join, but to be supportive...in trying to lose weight before, mine was always pushing stuff I didn't think I should eat, like Taco John's, at me and now he asks where my calories are and if I think I can fit things in...as in, I don't feel like cooking, where are your calories? Can you afford Taco John's, Chinese, ice cream, etc?) and encourage you. Maybe go for family walks.

I like to cook...and the way I cook hasn't changed a lot, just how much I eat of what I cook. I'm better about portioning into single meals rather than having a huge, two serving bowl. So, things I like to cook. I love cooking Ethiopian (rapture!), Thai (not as often...I'd rather buy it out as my hubs and I don't agree on what's awesome), Indian, Mexican (sometimes--hubs really likes taco salad, which isn't really Mexican), Italian (and fake Italian) etc, but we also cook bog standard American, like Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes...which I make with pre-made turkey burgers and always include a green veg, or just plain chicken and rice with veg. We have taco salad every other Sunday. On the alternate Sundays, we typically have homemade pizza. I like to make a homemade crust but it takes a lot of time, so we've been defaulting to Mama Mary's pre-made thin crust (the only thin crust I don't hate, so far) which isn't horrible calorie wise unless you eat half of it--but they also make smaller ones, where half is about right. What kind of food do you like?

Okay...enough! Went on longer than I intended. Good luck!

Welcome @Tweaking_Time keep up the great work!

@janetay01 I'm with you, I have a much harder time at home than I do out an about. The cupboards call my name!

@melaniedscott I'm glad to hear the foot rehab is going well. No matter how much one loves their parents (or inlaws) 3 times a week is A LOT! I bet you're on countdown for that fabulous vacation in June

@gemwolf110 Glad the new job is going well! We'll be here once you get into the swing of things. I'm the same way, I use any excuse to move away from my desk for awhile to get those extra steps in

@Evamutt After all that activity no wonder you're sore! Just think of how awesome your *kitten* will look after all that shaking lol

@junebug_13 Welcome! I agree completely with @melaniedscott's advice. Find food and movement that you enjoy, track everything, and make goals that are reasonable. If you're feeling deprived, overly hungry, or overly sore chances are you may be doing too much too fast. Whatever changes you make should be ones you're willing to do for the rest of your life (since I assume you want to keep the weight off forever!)

The weekend was so wonderful, but it went by way too fast! Friday we got together with friends and I ended up eating some unexpected pizza after dinner...woops!

Saturday I decided to get my *kitten* together. My SO and I set up our challenge board. We are going to do 10 weeks of healthy habits. If I win, I get a shopping spree for new workout clothes! He already blew it yesterday with ice cream so I'm +1 on the board so far! We chose habits since I'm less concerned with the actual number on the scale, but what I am putting into my body.

The weekend was so gorgeous I ended up walking the dog so much I didn't get any intense workouts in so I woke up early to hit it hard this morning. I've got my activities for the rest of the week scheduled so I'm ready to rock it!

I got so surprised & delighted Sunday morning. Me & hubby usually walk all our dogs together on Sunday(6), I walk the higher energy ones so I do a little jogging. I can do almost half block at a time, then I have to stop & catch my breath, walk a few blocks & do it again. this Sunday, I jogged a whole long block without much of a problem, walked one block & did it again. I even went out this morning for a little jog. Maybe the Zumba is helping? janetay, I'm so uncoordinated & have no rhythm but I do like Zumba & do the best I can. I don't worry too much about what ppl think any more,like I did when I was younger, we're basically all the same as far as feeling embarrassed or caring what ppl think of us, they're thinking the same. We went over one of our sons for lunch yesterday. They made beans & beef cooked in liquid. It has a mexican name but can't remember. The only bad thing I ate was some tortilla chips with it. They eat healthy. They both work out and are into health. This is my youngest son. By the end of high school, he weighed close to 350lbs. He lost all his weight & kept it off. He ate alot of fried rice he made & played raquetball. He's 32 now, loves to eat but doesn't gain weight. He doesn't eat any junk food tho, he like to cook & BBQ. He makes an awsome chocolate cake with buttercream frosting from scratch, but didn't yesterday. All my 3 sons are good cooks. My dtr is an ok cook lol

@Evamutt Great job on the run, it gets easier. In December I couldn't even run for 30 seconds. Yesterday I jogged/run for 27 minutes.

@kasey39 Stay strong you can do this. I bet some of that gain is water weight. Did you know women gain weight twice a month just from hormones? During shark week, and 2 weeks later. Stupid hormones. Knowing this helps me stay strong when I see my weight fluctuate.

I had a kick *kitten* day yesterday! I made all my goals I set out, stayed under calories and even got to bed early. Amazing how excited we get about silly things. Oh, and I did 6 minutes holding a glute bridge. My stomach muscles sure feel it today. For some reason this is making me smile.

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.

Happy Tuesday!

Rachel - great idea to do the habits goal, I like that! I'm going to think about that for myself. I just did a bit of a shopping spree for myself last week. I'm in one of those funks where I hate all my work clothes! So I restocked up on some cute spring stuff. I would like a shopping spree for new work out stuff though, that would be awesome! I have a feeling you are going to win! LOL

Not much to report. Still low on will power. Had a good chat with myself last night about being more positive, instead of the running mental negativity (I'm never going to lose this weight, I'm feeling fat etc), so every time I think a negative thought, I'm going to try to catch myself and tell myself something positive! I hope it works!

Everyone at work is feeling super blah - it's still rainy and overcast here. Yesterday after work I did manage to take the dog out for a nice walk, the rain had stopped. Here's hoping that it will get nicer out - still raining in the mornings so I haven't even biked to work once!

I also decided I'm going to put my gym membership on hold for June/July/August. You can do up to 3 months a year. I feel like I'm bored and I'm hoping that I can get my exercise biking and hiking instead! That will liven me up and help with the positivity because I love being outside!

Sounds like everyone is doing great, you guys are all my motivation! You're basically the reason I haven't given up and just let myself go! (Although it was close the other day, I thought what the hell, might as well throw in the towel and just be fat!!) LOL!!

@lallybc , just hop in and join the conversation. Welcome!

@bluepoppies777, I really love these memes...Don't throw in the towel, you've got this! You've lost a lot already and I'd bet you've seen other changes, too, with the exercise you've been doing. And that negative thought replacement you mentioned is based on validated research--cognitive behavioral interventions (used to teach CBI) and it really works...

@Rachel0778 Awesome on the challenge & congrats on getting picked for the union exec! I wish I could get my hubs to eat salmon or quinoa or kale.

@Evamutt--what a terrific NSV. I'm not a runner, even before I messed up my foot and ankle. Running for a whole block is huge.

@jdelaroy, way to kick kitten! 6 minutes on a bridge is great. And, condolences on your uncle's passing.

@gemwolf110, the down side of desk jobs is...they're desk jobs. And they're draining. Sometimes hours fly by and you realize you've barely moved. I try to get up and walk at least 3 times when I'm in the office--10, 12 and 3 (frequently fail)...and any time I need to talk to someone in my building, I get up and go find them instead of calling, if at all possible. I'm trying to do the same thing (get up and walk three times) when I work from home...for some reason, that's more challenging. I'm sure you'll figure out what works for you!

Things around here are about normal...I think I'm nearly done with PT, walking more (and faster! maybe I'll be back at 3.5-4 miles per hour again and do 2-3 miles at a time soon! Current best, post break, is about 1.5) and doing stationary bike. I have to...I'm going on a trip to Wisconsin soon to see lighthouses and that will require us to act like mountain goats, apparently (no complaints, sounds fun). My job is crazy. I've been unmotivated at work...the project I'm working on is suicide prevention and it is really hard for me, as we're coming up on two years that my sister took her life. Anyway...have a great day!

Down 3.4 this morning. Not sure how that happened, but I'll take it! Haha! Still haven't made the progress I should have, but I'm very, very impatient when it comes to this!! Really only down about 6 pounds and it's been almost 3 months. I think maybe I sabatoged myself when I started diving into the 45 minute Zumba plus walking the mile and a half at lunch. Might have been too much too fast. Body wasn't ready for that quick of an adjustment! PA ordered the next dose up on the Synthroid, so I'll need to be patient and give that a chance to do its thing too. Not all by itself, but I'm hoping it at least helps, if that's what was causing some of the problems to begin with! Going back into it slower this time.

@evamutt 2 months without much of a change? I think I would get discouraged. Great job keeping up on it, and making other changes to reach your goal. I am impressed

The last 2 days were very bad for me on the eating front. For some reason, I needed to eat everything. Not sure why this has been happening lately. I have this insatiable craving for something (plus I am either fighting an on coming cold, or still feeling depressed. Can't tell which.) and I have no idea what this craving is. So I just keep eating everything. Gah! I am hoping today will be better.

Hope everyone has a great Thursday.