How do I stay focused on myself and motivated when I think my husband is cheating on me?

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  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    edited April 2017
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    Close to the same thing happened to my wife and I. I took to my workouts as my only stress reliever there was, and of course like someone else has said I am also a stress non-eater so I lost the weight by non-healthy means. We have worked things out and are still together and still working out. Hope nothing but the best for you. Do not give up on yourself.
  • shellyld2016
    shellyld2016 Posts: 288 Member
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    cahubbard6421 wrote: »
    Love the last name first of all! I am also a Hubbard. Your husband may be cheating on you. He may not be cheating on you. Don't let that control the things you do or don't do.

    If he is cheating, he shouldn't have that control over you. You shouldn't be wasting your emotions of foolish things like eating and bad habits. Waste your emotions on squats!

    If he isn't cheating, he shouldn't have that control over you either. You shouldn't be jumping to conclusions without confronting facts. You should be jumping to the plyo boxes!

    I'm sure you see the trend here. Make yourself the best version of yourself and if he is cheating, leave him. Make him wish he hadn't ever thought about another woman. Then constantly see him. Make sure when you see him, you've just come from the gym and you're as sweaty and disgustingly attractive as ever.

    If he isn't cheating, make sure he understands he is valuable to you but completely replaceable so he doesn't feel like there is a need to look elsewhere.

    This, don't jump to conclusions, but try to settle it. Get fit for you. Whether he is or isn't shouldn't determine that.
  • strebor337
    strebor337 Posts: 168 Member
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    I can't really speak one way or the other as to speculating whether or not he's actually having an affair, but I think you need to figure out how you're going to be happy whether he is or not. You can't wait for him or anyone else to make you happy. You have to own that and decide that you're going to do whatever you have to go be happy. If he is having an affair, that's the best revenge. If he's not, you bringing your happiness to the relationship can only help to heal it.
  • hubbardcasey28
    hubbardcasey28 Posts: 30 Member
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    I thought I've already replied to a few people but we did have another discussion after this post and he did cheat on me.....but I knew it all along and it's not about him...it's about me and getting my mind right. Whether I'm with him right now or not...I'm in a bad place and would like to be a better me I can't let my body suffer for this
    benjaminhk wrote: »
    This seems like a really odd place to call out your husband for possibly cheating. That seems like it should be a private discussion with him.

  • JeanieWww
    JeanieWww Posts: 4,037 Member
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    Do it for YOU. Focus on you. If you have no proof, you're only speculating, which stresses you and he beyond what either of you need. Get fit for you. Use that anger to work out with, if you have to.
  • strebor337
    strebor337 Posts: 168 Member
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    hubbardcasey28 wrote: »
    I thought I've already replied to a few people but we did have another discussion after this post and he did cheat on me.....but I knew it all along and it's not about him...it's about me and getting my mind right. Whether I'm with him right now or not...I'm in a bad place and would like to be a better me I can't let my body suffer for this

    I'm really sorry to hear that your suspicions have been confirmed. I can only imagine how heartbreaking that is. It's good that you recognize your own power to determine how you will be affected by it though. Certainly there will be grief, and anger, and a host of other emotions, but trying to keep yourself healthy will help you find a new normal and balance those emotions more quickly. Most of all, remember that you have lots of friends who care about you and want to help you through this.
  • abs1970
    abs1970 Posts: 235 Member
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    You do it for YOU. Make yourself the best version of you ever. I know from experience. 29 yrs together, 19 yrs married, two teenage kids and it was the best thing I ever did! Sending you hugs.
  • DJ_Skywalker
    DJ_Skywalker Posts: 420 Member
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    HoldTheDoor13 wrote: »
    I can't offer much help, but if it turns out he is cheating- punching him repeatedly right in the penis probably counts as cardio

    <3

    I hope enough calories to work off all the rum I'm gonna drink
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    Have you considered marriage counseling? It could help with all the concerns you mention.

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