Other people's kids.

heiliskrimsli wrote: »

TheRoadDog wrote: »

I've learned that some people take offence if you try to have an "Adults Only" gathering. Most of the time I am fine with people bringing their kids and such, but, if I don't want kids at a particular event, I don't invite those parents.

I had people go nuts one year when I threw a birthday bash for myself at my house that started at 9 PM at which I provided all the food and drink and had the nerve to say it was a 21+ event.

One set of friends got indignant about their children not being invited, took serious offense, and they quit talking to me.

Been there. I even had some issues with my own sister. She would bring her kids over, and then ignore them while she was partying. I got tired of being a babysitter at my own party. She stopped getting invites.

assimilate221 wrote: »

I speed through school zones.

You need one of those "deer catcher" grills they put on pickup trucks.

In my particular social circle, if we are going to each others' homes, kids are always included in the activity. If we're going out, kids usually go to grandma's or stay with dad or a babysitter. Nothing to be offended about. Like the guy who would stop speaking to a friend who asked him not to bring his kids - I don't get that. It's OK to detach from your kids once in a while and be an individual. And I like my friends' kids - well, except for the one that's a total brute and wild as hell.

And as far as the OP's outing goes, what the heck is the friend thinking wanting to bring an undisciplined 7 year old on a 5 hour round trip climb up a mountain with an adult friend? If OP's friend wants to suffer through that sort of thing on her own, that's great, but subjecting your friend to a near-certain epic melt-down (probably at a snail's pace with constant whining the whole way) is not cool. Sounds like the hell trip to me.

Some kids would do fine on that trip - but that still doesn't mean they have to be included in every activity. Don't parents want to get away and do things on their own sometimes?

newmeadow wrote: »

My summer camp had us climbing up steep mountains which took all day. The earliest allowable age to sign up for the climb was age 9. And that was with multiple adults supervising who were trained in mountain climbing, first aid, and wilderness expeditions. And it was all designed to accommodate the pace of elementary school aged kids.

Two city ladies and a bratty 7 year old boy climbing a mountain? Sounds like a Lifetime Network made-for-TV movie. Or an ABC Afterschool Special.

LOL!

There is no legitimate reason for her to be offended. You should just be honest. A child...especially one who is not well behaved...absolutely changes the dynamic. If you are going to drive 7 hours round trip to see her, you deserve having her full attention.

And I hike...even some of the moderate hikes I do would not be appropriate for young children either due to length or safety reasons. What happens when the child is tired an hour or two into it? Will you then be expected to turn around and go back with them? Or be forced to continue alone and have your friend be pissed off? What if the kid gets increasingly fussy as you go, necessitating the mother spending most of her effort to keep the child moving and not having a tantrum?

Honestly, she should be understanding...especially since it is clear she has child care options available to her. If you can't work this out, I would suggest picking a different activity. Perhaps a visit to her home...where the kid can do his thing without much supervision, leaving plenty of time for you and the mother to catch up.

Depends on how you worded the rejection. If she thought all along this was a kids included activity then you were somewhat short when you indicated otherwise, I can see why she's upset. Had kid-free expectations been made early on, and in a polite manner, no there's no reason to be upset.

Nope. I don't hang out with people's kids unless it's discussed ahead of time. My sister is famous for inviting her children along last minute without an invite.

I get it that baby sitters are expensive but it was her choice to have kids. And it's the being purposefully deceptive that bothers me (and everyone apparently who has since excluded her from future activities).

Ok so how about this - tell her you understand that she wants to spend time with her daughter, so it would be easier to do it on a week end when she's not with her, as you're worried that the climb would be too much for a kid (seriously, my 9yo would last 15 minutes tops, lol).

But yeah I really don't get this. Why in the world would it be a huge deal not to take her kid when she doesn't even have her kid every week end? Surely she goes out and does things when she is with her dad?

"I'd like to spend some time with you but I don't think 7 hours of mountain climbing would be safe or enjoyable for a little kid. Maybe we could set something up later when s/he can stay with someone else." ??