Obese because of my DAD!

My mum first put me on a diet when I was 6 . They continued from there , my weight went up n down like a yo yo .my child hood was pretty crazy and I emotionaly ate through it . I hit my highest weight of 150 when I was 16. =(. I decided I had to loose it , so I did. And I to use to blame my parents , my mum especialy . But as I got older , IV now have a kid of my own , I realise that our parents do ,say ,feed ,treat there children the best way they now how. And there is a point where you have to forgive all the hurt they have caused and take resonaibilty for your own life , and create it the way you want it. Because if you don't deal with the emotional side of your weight problem then you will never truely be free. Buy the book women food and god. It helped me alot

Has anyone else have problems with parents and their weight?

A thousand times yes, but with my mom more than my dad. I was always a chubby kid, and my weight yo-yoed quite a bit all throughout my adolescence. I ended up developing some eating disorder issues and struggled with bulimia in high school because of my anxious personality and my mother making me a nervous wreck. When I got to college, I lost 65 pounds in the first 6 months of my freshman year, basically by not eating (seriously, there were times I only ate on weekends). I came home at Thanksgiving with 35 pounds off and my mother said, "Great start!!"

Needless to say, I've gained all of that weight back and more - I managed to keep it off for a few years, but it's back now, plus a few pounds.

The reasons I share this are twofold: 1) If you feel like you have anything close to an eating disorder (this includes compulsive overeating), talking to someone can really help, and 2) I had some heartfelt discussions in the last couple of years with my mom, and it has really helped her (and me) to be less judgmental and more encouraging.

Best of luck on your weight loss journey and in getting things figured out with your dad. You can do it!! And this community is awesomely supportive

You say you're not holding a grudge but then you say you'll forgive him one day, just not now... so which is it?

You're young and I realize that today's society likes to play the blame game. You aren't being force fed or chained to a couch so you cannot exercise... so there needs to be some personal responsibility.

I have worked with students that come from abusive households... it isn't acceptable for them to turn into abusers themselves and say "my parents made me do it." Personal responsibility has to come into play and myself, like countless others here, have dealt with the cards we were handed but chose a healthier and more productive path. Live in the past or move forward and I hope you choose the latter. Best of luck.

Has anyone else have problems with parents and their weight?

I can relate to what you're saying here. I think it's hard NOT to want to blame your parents if they didn't set a good example of eating habits. Because as an adult, you're STILL dealing with those same bad habits that your parents demonstrated. It's very hard to separate the past from the present when the same way of thinking persists.

I did not go through something as extreme as being weighed or told I'm going to fail. But both my parents had bad eating habits. My dad would snack multiple times a night, my mom would hide food, both habits that contribute to an unhealthy example. It's also been very clear over the years that my dad thinks less of me as a person for having a weight problem over the years (i.e. Telling me when I was 13, the family will like you more if you do). It took me many, many years to accept that what happened in my upbringing happened and no amount of finger-pointing will change what was. It's the harsh reality, that I'm a grown adult now that has a choice in changing things. Even at 24, I still have some feelings of resentment, but I'm learning to let go, and focus on the present.

When I read what you wrote, I said "Wow, there's a person who has felt the same way I have." Because I have had the same struggles, I didn't see it as you putting 100% on your dad. I saw someone say 'Despite my upbringing, I'm making a change'. If that was someone wallowing in the past, you wouldn't have done what you have already.

The other week, I saw my dad (who knows I've been going to the gym for awhile now). When I got out of the car, other than hi, first thing he said was "You still going to the gym?" Guess since I didn't drop 50 in 4 weeks, he thought I'd given up. Several years ago that would have crushed me and made me give up. Now, I can take a step back and see that he's a person with some faults too and go about my business like before. In time, I think you'll be able to not let it phase you either.