How do you kill the crab?

13

Replies

  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited May 2017
    loulamb7 wrote: »
    You're probably pissed because you mistakenly think you have to turn your world upside down to lose weight, you don't. You probably also have your deficit set to lose 2 lbs a week. I'd be pissed too. Drop the unnecessary "all in" BS mentality. All you need is a caloric deficit and it doesn't have to be big. Set your goal to 1 lb/week and eat normally up to your allotted calories. You don't need to cook separate meals, cut out sweets or processed foods or only drinking water. Now go have a fun-size Snickers and a mini-Coke (maybe diet) and be happy :)

    Agreed with this one.

    No need to cut foods out to lose weight. Heck, I've had chocolate almost every day since dropping over 100lbs. No wonder you're crabby. I would be too, if I did what you're doing. :laugh:
  • annasittonrogers
    annasittonrogers Posts: 2 Member
    Your situation and mine are very similar (weight, dr recommendations). I only recently joined MFP, but have been working on my health (I like that better than "dieting") for 2.5 months. I am on a Paleo type food regime, with focus on the low carb foods. My salvation for getting "hangry" has been to find substitutes for the foods I love and miss. A "pizza" using eggs for the crust (in the way you make them for omelettes), with salsa (replaces pizza sauce), cheese and sausage or pepperoni, chopped bell peppers, mushrooms, etc. It's not a true pizza, but it's close enough not to feel deprived. Durkee French Fried onions work for potato chips (note this doesn't fit into the Paleo regime, but it's by far better than potato chips), an occasional slice of low carb no bake cheesecake keeps me sane. So, my point is that this gets easier. Time for your body to adjust, finding tweaks that work for you, the reward of feeling physically better and feeling better about yourself all work together to take care of the crabbiness. Also, a cautionary note: I'm not sure if your situation, but the reason my Dr recommended the Paleo diet is because I am pre diabetic, therefore my gucose is every bit as important as weight loss. In my situation, having a candy bar, real pizza, as part of my daily intake isn't an option. Ask your dr why they recommended staying away from carbs, sugars, etc, to be sure that there isn't a medical reason for their recommendation.
  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
    I clicked this post because I was curious as to how other people cook those live lobsters you buy at the fish counter lol. Still unsure now haha
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    b3achy wrote: »
    Another tip...figure out another measurement than the scale to see progress. I personally like the tape measure (pick one day a week to take your measurements), and had many weeks where I'd lose inches but see no loss on the scale and vice versa. It let me know I was still making progress for those stall weeks on the scale. Other options include goal clothes (I had some pants and later a dress that I wanted to fit back into) or taking pictures regularly (monthly? - for me pictures didn't work as well as quantitative measurements, but for others it works really well).

    Yes! Photos and measurements are awesome ways to gauge progress. I understand if you really don't want to take photos, but I think you'll be glad you have them in a few months so that you can compare and see your progress.

    I've lost over 60lbs and I still see the old me in the mirror sometimes. Being able to look at my "before" photos side by side with a recent one and see the difference objectively has been great!

    There are also times when it goes the other way... I look in the mirror and think I'm looking waaaay slimmer and surely I fit into <small outfit> by now, and when I try it on it's still too small and I feel fat again... ;) It's a very up-and-down sort of process, and often I think weight loss is as much of a mental game as a physical one. But I'm getting there, and you will too, OP! I commend your new attitude; I think you've got this!
  • Rusty740
    Rusty740 Posts: 749 Member
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    b3achy wrote: »
    If you are crabby, it sounds like you are either:
    1) trying to change too much at once (ie, on some sort of restrictive diet rather than just reducing your calories),
    2) you aren't eating enough (ie, deficit too high / trying to lose more than a pound or two a week), or
    3) you aren't satiated / feeling full with what you are eating (ie, you may need more protein/fat than you are getting (unless carbs work for you then you may need to bump those up) - for me, protein/fat keeps me fuller than carbs, but YMMV).

    My guess would be that you have an imbalance in one (or more) of those situations and you need to adjust to not be so hangry (which is why I <3 the snickers recommendation).

    When I started MFP, I was so stoked. I could eat anything again, and only had to reduce my calories...it was liberating for me after trying so many restrictive diets that didn't really work for me. Bacon made it back into my eating, as well as full fat cheeses, and wine wasn't forbidden. The more I learned, the more I realized I had been restricting myself too much, and I just needed to maintain a calorie deficit to lose. Now, over time I learned that I needed to work on balancing my macros for nutrition (and I still have to work on that some days). But my first weeks on MFP and counting calories was glorious although shocking when I figured how small real single serving sizes were...and that's why I had put on most of my weight.

    Good luck figuring it out...it's no fun being crabby unless it is your nature to be crabby.

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Maybe I'm going about this all wrong...

    This is true, you aren't restricted by the type of foods you eat, but by the amount of them. This will balance itself out.

    If you want a soda, you've got to fit it into your daily calories, same with other things. Pretty soon you'll find a balance between the high calorie things that don't fill you up and the "good for you" things that do. You're doing the right thing by acknowledging difficulty of the restrictive nature of the "diet", but the important thing most of us have learned is that the battle is very mental. Our brain needs a break once in awhile or we will go crazy. I'm not talking about cheat days, don't even, but you do need to reward yourself once in a while.
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
    loulamb7 wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    Maybe I'm going about this all wrong...

    I think you're finally getting it! Do a cleanse of all your preconceived rules on how to do this right and listen to the advice provided above.

    ^^^^ Make this the only cleanse you do!!!!!!!! ;)


    It is refreshing to see the light bulb go on! If you stick with it, you will like it here. We all have good and bad days and we understand.

    Make sure you recalculate your daily calorie limit as you lose weight. The app is supposed to recalculate your calories every 10 pounds, but if it doesn't automatically to do so, reset it yourself.


  • Kristeenewd
    Kristeenewd Posts: 21 Member
    It will pass! I find this happens to me when I change my eating drastically. Usually by week three I have stabilized. I would say make sure that you are eating at least 1350 calories, 3 meals and snacks throughout the day ( keep your blood sugar from dropping). Long walks (solo walks if i'm grumpy :), hot epsom salt baths, extra sleep, LOTS of water and patience <3
  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
    Stella3838 wrote: »
    Okay, wow. I've got to say this is one of the BEST threads I've read in along time. Way to go MFPers!! This is such an uplifting conversation! I kinda feel like a proud parent!! :smiley:

    OP - SO glad you've seen the light!! You've got an awesome path ahead, with support here when you need it. Stick with it, good or bad. You've got this. Best of luck to you!!!

    I agree. This thread has made my day.

    I love when people realize that don't have to give up the things they love in order to succeed.
  • RetiredAndLovingIt
    RetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 1,395 Member
    I'd go with the Snickers, always!
  • HealthierRayne
    HealthierRayne Posts: 268 Member
    Try focusing more on all the awesome things you've done so far and less about what you feel you are deprived of.

    If stopping those old habits will get you to your goals and is making you feel healthier and you're already seeing pounds and inches lost, then know that those old habits were truly holding you back from what you really want.

    If I were to give up my coffee I would have a huge headache and turn into a complete psycho. Maybe it's just caffeine withdrawals that are hitting you really hard these first few days why you feel not like yourself. Ride it out. You've got this!


  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
    I'd go with the Snickers, always!

    Same here. Snickers is my absolute favorite candy bar.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    I love this thread!!!

    OP, you got this. Log your food, eat your calories, fit in your treats, and lose weight without being hangry :drinker:
  • anopholes
    anopholes Posts: 16 Member
    One thing that I haven't seen mentioned yet is caffeine! Unless you were drinking caffeine-free, you must have had a pretty steady flow of caffeine throughout the day with five cokes! I know I get cranky as all get-out if I skip my morning coffee, and weaning off caffeine at the same time I am trying to cut calories sounds like a disaster for me personally, maybe you are battling this?

    I came here to say this too. If you're used to 5 cans of coke a day, then you're consuming 170mg of caffeine per day. I am not a pleasant person without a cup of tea in the morning. I would try to add some black coffee in the morning or something like that to see if that takes the edge off.
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    b3achy wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    b3achy wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    jgnatca wrote: »
    I read somewhere that doctors prescribe low, low calorie diets because they have little faith that the patient will stick with it and they figure the few pounds lost in the short term is better than nothing.

    That and they probably assume they won't come on here and start weighing their food on a scale and logging accurately as well. So what the prescribe as 1200, probably ends up being closer to 1500 or more.

    Except that THIS patient is weighing and measuring with diligence. And it has worked... Impressively so. But it's really a drastic change from my norm.

    Exactly. Which is awesome that you are being so accurate. But such drastic changes and a low calorie goal...ya gonna get cranky. How long have you been doing it and how much have you lost? Maybe you posted it up above, sorry. Also, what are your stats? If you don't mind sharing. If not, you may be interested in entering them into the app and seeing what IT gives you for a calorie goal.

    It's fine, I'm an open book. I've only been doing it for 8 days. Weighed in on 4/25 at 273.8 and weighed in yesterday, 5/1, at 263.0. So 10lbs in a week. I'm 5'6". I have no clue how many calories I was consuming prior to starting on 4/25.

    Oh goodness...my favorite TDEE calculator says you should be at ~1800 calories to lose a pound a week if you are sedentary. ~1300 calories daily would be an aggressive 2 pounds per week calorie limit, which is fine if your doctor is prescribing it, but know that it is aggressive and is going to lead to some hangry days. But that calorie goal is if you are sedentary. As others have said, you probably aren't very sedentary with little ones, so even light activity/exercise would give you about 300 more calories daily, and moderate activity/exercise would give you about 600 more calories daily. Sounds like you can probably eat a bit more and be okay and still in a deficit. It's all about finding your personal balance.

    Welcome to the light... :)

    Thanks so, so much for all your words and wisdom! I'm definitely going to take them to heart. I'm going to aim for the goals my doc set for me (because it's killing a slew of bad habits I've been dragging around), but I'm going to keep my calorie counter here on MFP set to lose a pound a week. And I'll just allow myself that wiggle room to eat a piece of candy or bread, pizza, whatever I'm craving, provided I stay within the reasonable limit MFP has given me. It's so freeing that I can indulge from time to time and know I'm not sabotaging myself at all. I'm allowed to be human... There is no "falling off" of any wagon. Some days the wagon just might not go as fast as it did the day before. But that's okay... Because it's still moving! :smile:

    Thanks again, so much! I really appreciate your time and help! <3

    Yes!! You've got it! I <3 what you said in the bold. IMO, that mentality is key to success. And glad you are happier already!

    Also appreciated @SueSueDio's comments on the rest of the story...yes, stalls will happen even when you are doing everything right, just keep the faith and keep doing what you are doing...

    Another tip...figure out another measurement than the scale to see progress. I personally like the tape measure (pick one day a week to take your measurements), and had many weeks where I'd lose inches but see no loss on the scale and vice versa. It let me know I was still making progress for those stall weeks on the scale. Other options include goal clothes (I had some pants and later a dress that I wanted to fit back into) or taking pictures regularly (monthly? - for me pictures didn't work as well as quantitative measurements, but for others it works really well).

    Congrats on the epiphany, and figuring it out so quickly! Looking forward to hearing your success stories! :)

    Thanks a million for the advice and encouragement! I'm writing all this stuff down and posting it around my house... Because oh how quickly my mind forgets! Your pizza recipe sounds like a keeper too! Thanks so much!! <3
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    One thing that I haven't seen mentioned yet is caffeine! Unless you were drinking caffeine-free, you must have had a pretty steady flow of caffeine throughout the day with five cokes! I know I get cranky as all get-out if I skip my morning coffee, and weaning off caffeine at the same time I am trying to cut calories sounds like a disaster for me personally, maybe you are battling this?

    You're probably right... I would drink coffee AND have 5 or so cokes a day. Caffeine was my main, and on many days my only, source of hydration. I am allowed to still have coffee, just without the cream and sugar. I've given it up too for the most part because I don't care for it much without all the bells and whistles, lol. I did have a cup this morning though - black with a sugar substitute - and it kinda got rid of the morning grogg and mellowed me out. :) Definitely great points to consider. Thanks for your thoughts! I truly do appreciate them!!
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    loulamb7 wrote: »
    You're probably pissed because you mistakenly think you have to turn your world upside down to lose weight, you don't. You probably also have your deficit set to lose 2 lbs a week. I'd be pissed too. Drop the unnecessary "all in" BS mentality. All you need is a caloric deficit and it doesn't have to be big. Set your goal to 1 lb/week and eat normally up to your allotted calories. You don't need to cook separate meals, cut out sweets or processed foods or only drinking water. Now go have a fun-size Snickers and a mini-Coke (maybe diet) and be happy :)

    Agreed with this one.

    No need to cut foods out to lose weight. Heck, I've had chocolate almost every day since dropping over 100lbs. No wonder you're crabby. I would be too, if I did what you're doing. :laugh:

    You have no idea just how encouraging it is to hear of someone who's lost 100+ while still having sweets! Just in case I doubt the math, you're living proof it works. Thank you so much for sharing!!
  • legsnbacon
    legsnbacon Posts: 122 Member
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    jgnatca wrote: »
    How long does it take to prepare for a marathon, or a climb up mount Everest? This sort of life-change is built on one small habit at a time. Trying to do it all at once will just make you....crabby.

    Yes, your life is at stake, but you have some time to do this right.

    What one change this past week are you most proud of? Keep doing that one. What change makes you want to claw someone's eyes out? Postpone that one.

    Every week re-evaluate the week before and decide to either stay the course or add a new self-improvement bit.

    I guess I have this "all in" mentality. I'm either all in or I'm not.

    Changes I'm proud of:

    3. Sticking below 1300 calories a day/portion control
    :/

    You may not be eating enough.
  • anybeary
    anybeary Posts: 188 Member
    Seriously, folks, this lady is not looking for you'all to play devil's advocate re: what she's decided she needs to do to lose weight and stop bad habits. All the body builders/extremely active people with super in-shape metabolisms in the house can stick it when you talk about "eat whatever you want as long as it's below your TDEE." If you wanna say processed foods have nothing to do with calories and weight loss, just TRY getting your macros right with processed foods and sugary drinks. Ain't gonna happen. The original poster has the right idea, so stop tearing her idea apart. She's made personal decisions about what she needs to do. The point is, answer her original question. NOW, to answer your original question, poster, I totally feel you. You're taking care of other people, and they aren't (with their own actions and decisions) giving you any support, and that sucks. Main thing to remember is: the only thing you can do is control YOU. What other people are doing is irrelevant, and I know it doesn't FEEL that way, but you have to think of it that way. Pretty soon, thinking becomes habit. You can't make decisions for others, but you can make them for yourself. You will get resistance from others when you make decisions about your own life that they feel may affect them (i.e., making meals), and realize that's just their own self-preservation mode. After about month of a lower carb diet, you will adjust to it, and it will start to feel good and sustainable and the crabbiness will subside.
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    Your situation and mine are very similar (weight, dr recommendations). I only recently joined MFP, but have been working on my health (I like that better than "dieting") for 2.5 months. I am on a Paleo type food regime, with focus on the low carb foods. My salvation for getting "hangry" has been to find substitutes for the foods I love and miss. A "pizza" using eggs for the crust (in the way you make them for omelettes), with salsa (replaces pizza sauce), cheese and sausage or pepperoni, chopped bell peppers, mushrooms, etc. It's not a true pizza, but it's close enough not to feel deprived. Durkee French Fried onions work for potato chips (note this doesn't fit into the Paleo regime, but it's by far better than potato chips), an occasional slice of low carb no bake cheesecake keeps me sane. So, my point is that this gets easier. Time for your body to adjust, finding tweaks that work for you, the reward of feeling physically better and feeling better about yourself all work together to take care of the crabbiness. Also, a cautionary note: I'm not sure if your situation, but the reason my Dr recommended the Paleo diet is because I am pre diabetic, therefore my gucose is every bit as important as weight loss. In my situation, having a candy bar, real pizza, as part of my daily intake isn't an option. Ask your dr why they recommended staying away from carbs, sugars, etc, to be sure that there isn't a medical reason for their recommendation.

    I honestly don't even know all that's wrong with me. It's like I enter my 30's, gain a slew of weight (though I've always been fat) and suddenly my body just breaks down... Hypothyroidism, hypotension, vertigo, tachycardia, back pain, joint pain, extreme fatigue... Initially, my doctor suspected RA- that's been pretty much ruled out. And then there was a cancer scare, twice. Thankfully, both tumors were benign. I believe my blood sugars have been pretty stable, thankfully. But there's just so much junk going on, I just HAVE to get the weight off. I know it doesn't help. And so my doctor prescribed a plan much like yours sounds...

    I so appreciate your advice! And I think I accidentally thanked the wrong person for your pizza recipe... Oops! That actually sounds really tasty! Thanks so much for sharing! <3
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    fascha wrote: »
    I clicked this post because I was curious as to how other people cook those live lobsters you buy at the fish counter lol. Still unsure now haha

    Hahaha! I am so sorry to disappoint! But for future reference, I'd say just get a big ol' pot for steaming, add some water and drop 'em in. Cover with a lid and steam away till they turn bright red. ;) Hehe! Thanks for the laugh!

    PS- That's just my guess; I've never actually done it. So I guess you still don't really know... Haha!
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    b3achy wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    jgnatca wrote: »
    I read somewhere that doctors prescribe low, low calorie diets because they have little faith that the patient will stick with it and they figure the few pounds lost in the short term is better than nothing.

    That and they probably assume they won't come on here and start weighing their food on a scale and logging accurately as well. So what the prescribe as 1200, probably ends up being closer to 1500 or more.

    Except that THIS patient is weighing and measuring with diligence. And it has worked... Impressively so. But it's really a drastic change from my norm.

    Exactly. Which is awesome that you are being so accurate. But such drastic changes and a low calorie goal...ya gonna get cranky. How long have you been doing it and how much have you lost? Maybe you posted it up above, sorry. Also, what are your stats? If you don't mind sharing. If not, you may be interested in entering them into the app and seeing what IT gives you for a calorie goal.

    It's fine, I'm an open book. I've only been doing it for 8 days. Weighed in on 4/25 at 273.8 and weighed in yesterday, 5/1, at 263.0. So 10lbs in a week. I'm 5'6". I have no clue how many calories I was consuming prior to starting on 4/25.

    Oh goodness...my favorite TDEE calculator says you should be at ~1800 calories to lose a pound a week if you are sedentary. ~1300 calories daily would be an aggressive 2 pounds per week calorie limit, which is fine if your doctor is prescribing it, but know that it is aggressive and is going to lead to some hangry days. But that calorie goal is if you are sedentary. As others have said, you probably aren't very sedentary with little ones, so even light activity/exercise would give you about 300 more calories daily, and moderate activity/exercise would give you about 600 more calories daily. Sounds like you can probably eat a bit more and be okay and still in a deficit. It's all about finding your personal balance.

    Welcome to the light... :)

    Thanks so, so much for all your words and wisdom! I'm definitely going to take them to heart. I'm going to aim for the goals my doc set for me (because it's killing a slew of bad habits I've been dragging around), but I'm going to keep my calorie counter here on MFP set to lose a pound a week. And I'll just allow myself that wiggle room to eat a piece of candy or bread, pizza, whatever I'm craving, provided I stay within the reasonable limit MFP has given me. It's so freeing that I can indulge from time to time and know I'm not sabotaging myself at all. I'm allowed to be human... There is no "falling off" of any wagon. Some days the wagon just might not go as fast as it did the day before. But that's okay... Because it's still moving! :smile:

    Thanks again, so much! I really appreciate your time and help! <3

    I want to somehow refer everyone who hasn't "seen the light" yet to this. So freaking fantastic.

    Aww, refer away! I'm so thankful to have such a great community of supporters who will help me get to where I need to be. I wish the same for everyone else on their journey. :)
  • mshelyla
    mshelyla Posts: 36 Member
    CWynne3 wrote: »
    One thing that I haven't seen mentioned yet is caffeine! Unless you were drinking caffeine-free, you must have had a pretty steady flow of caffeine throughout the day with five cokes! I know I get cranky as all get-out if I skip my morning coffee, and weaning off caffeine at the same time I am trying to cut calories sounds like a disaster for me personally, maybe you are battling this?

    You're probably right... I would drink coffee AND have 5 or so cokes a day. Caffeine was my main, and on many days my only, source of hydration. I am allowed to still have coffee, just without the cream and sugar. I've given it up too for the most part because I don't care for it much without all the bells and whistles, lol. I did have a cup this morning though - black with a sugar substitute - and it kinda got rid of the morning grogg and mellowed me out. :) Definitely great points to consider. Thanks for your thoughts! I truly do appreciate them!!

    I came here to say the same about the caffeine. I know I get a headache and get pretty cranky if I don't have my morning coffee... I can't imagine if I had as much caffeine as you did throughout the day and just quit all of a sudden. I'm pretty sure my SO would leave me haha

    Good luck :smile:
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    Hormone changes will take some getting used to. At 2 weeks in you're only getting a small taste of what's to come. Stay strong OP.
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
    SueSueDio wrote: »
    b3achy wrote: »
    Another tip...figure out another measurement than the scale to see progress. I personally like the tape measure (pick one day a week to take your measurements), and had many weeks where I'd lose inches but see no loss on the scale and vice versa. It let me know I was still making progress for those stall weeks on the scale. Other options include goal clothes (I had some pants and later a dress that I wanted to fit back into) or taking pictures regularly (monthly? - for me pictures didn't work as well as quantitative measurements, but for others it works really well).

    Yes! Photos and measurements are awesome ways to gauge progress. I understand if you really don't want to take photos, but I think you'll be glad you have them in a few months so that you can compare and see your progress.

    I've lost over 60lbs and I still see the old me in the mirror sometimes. Being able to look at my "before" photos side by side with a recent one and see the difference objectively has been great!

    There are also times when it goes the other way... I look in the mirror and think I'm looking waaaay slimmer and surely I fit into <small outfit> by now, and when I try it on it's still too small and I feel fat again... ;) It's a very up-and-down sort of process, and often I think weight loss is as much of a mental game as a physical one. But I'm getting there, and you will too, OP! I commend your new attitude; I think you've got this!

    Ugh, I am not happy with pictures right now! But you make an excellent point. And I completely agree- your mentality is literally everything... It can make you or break you. I have SO much re-training of my mind to do!

    Thanks for the advice! I'm soaking it all in! :)
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