Do people try to tell you your weight goal is "too skinny" for you?
Replies
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »I get told this all the time
5'8 165 is completely normal
It's actually overweight.
I know lol I'm quite heavy at 169 right now!0 -
The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
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Yep. My highest weight was 387 (clearly super morbidly obese or Obese class III). I'm finally just "overweight" now in the 160's and want to lose about another 16* lbs. I generally don't share those goals (or those #'s, outside of MFP). There are people who have only known me to be morbidly or super morbidly obese who now call me "skinny" or tell me I don't need to lose any more weight, but they're wrong. I trust my doctors on this. None of them are pushing me to lose much more but they all feel that my goals are reasonable and feasible. Anyone else can suck it. I think the best way to avoid it is to focus on your health and keep your numbers to yourself and any medical or fitness professionals you consult.
*Even with the 16 more I want to lose I would still be classified as overweight. The deepest end of "normal" would require me to be 138, which I do not feel is realistic or necessary for me to be healthy and strong. Explaining this to buttinskis is futile.4 -
Nobody except my wife knows how much I weigh...it's not really a topic of discussion.2
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I've had people tell me I shouldn't lose any more weight but it has got to be total crap...I mean I'm 5'1" and 154 lbs...come on, LOL. There is no universe in which that could be too thin.
I think sometimes people say that either because they are afraid of you changing, or because they feel guilty for not wanting to get healthy themselves, or perhaps because they have run out of compliments since they've already told you before that you were looking good so they figure this is a creative newer compliment.
"Too thin" these days seems to have taken on new meaning. In the 80s I weighed 95 lbs. and pretty much nobody worried I was too thin. We are getting used to overweight being the new normal. Therefore, being even close to a healthy weight seems "skinny."
I'm 5ft and 157lb. My UGW is 100lb. People are completely baffled when I tell them I need to lose about 60lbs. The don't understand that I weighed 95lb just 9 years ago and I was happy and healthy.3 -
Although I agree that the avg person in america doesn't know what a healthy weight looks like, one of the people who told me I would be "too skinny" is my boyfriend who is very lean and fit (he's under 10% bf) and is actually studying to be a personal trainer. I think he just likes curves and muscle on his women tho lmao. He's actually been doing strength training with me for the past few months and it's made a huge difference but 140 is where i feel I'll look my best. Might even want to go down to 135 or 130 depending how it feels. I'd like to be a size 6 at most but like a comfy size 6 where a non stretchy pair of jeans straight out of the dryer fit easily, ya know what I mean?
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I only share my goal weight with my therapist and my psychiatrist. But that's because I have anorexia, so they always keep an eye on things with me and how I am feeling about my body image and my weight.3
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This is me at 185
I definitely think I have room to lose another 45 lbs if not 50 lol
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I love my family, but my parents and sister are very overweight / obese, and I haven't shared my goal weight with them - my sister because she probably wouldn't care to hear about that kind of thing anyway, and my parents because I do think they'd say it's too skinny for me. My mother already told me that at 200-240 lbs, I really wasn't that big. She's also said she'd like to.lose some weight, but still be plump because being skinny would look weird on her. I was 200 lbs 7 pounds ago and she said she wished she was still my size. I'm a bit different; I've always wanted to be slim. Though I regret being 193 pounds now, I do not at all wish I was back to being 170 (whenever that was). I will be glad to hit my goal of 160 by December 31st, but then Ill have 30 more lbs to go!2
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Pretty sure it's none of their *kitten* business.0
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But it seems there are alot of really big people who feel like not being overweight would look weird on them, and the bigger you get, the more contented you'd be just to be less overweight, even if you're still big.1
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But it seems there are alot of really big people who feel like not being overweight would look weird on them, and the bigger you get, the more contented you'd be just to be less overweight, even if you're still big.
There are probably a few factors at work here. A person who has been overweight for a very long time may actually be afraid of being "a normal weight" because his/her life, for good or for bad, has revolved around their weight for so long. That's just human nature - fearing what we think we want; fearing change, real change. When you've been immersed perhaps for years or decades in "I hate being fat," "I'm on a diet," "I need to shop in X store," etc., etc. and on and on, you almost certainly know that if you get to a truly healthy weight, you're not just changing on the outside, you're really changing a whole lot about the way your life works. In essence, the person may not "be him/herself" anymore. (S/he actually will be but this is the undercurrent.)
Another possibility is that saying "I don't want to get thin" keeps one from the pain that would come from having a more serious goal but never reaching it. If you just can't visualize getting to an actual healthy weight then in order to avoid feeling like you've failed if indeed you never get there, you've put this stop-gap in place to keep that from happening - IOW, "Well, I never wanted to be 'too thin' to begin with."
There are other possibilities, I'm sure, but these two came to mind. I know I have blamed a lot of my problems on my weight and I wonder what excuse I'll have once I'm a normal weight. I don't have a lot of friends because people are shallow and they don't want a fat friend - but okay, what happens when I'm a normal weight but I still don't have a lot of friends? I haven't been able to get a really decent job because people are jerks who subconsciously judge, and after all, a lot of studies have shown overweight people get paid less than more attractive people. So what happens when I get to goal and I still don't have that great job? And so on.2 -
Good points. If someone is really overweight, they might not even have any conception of what they would look like if they weren't. So I can understand how some people would feel uncomfortable with the idea of basically giving up the way they have always mentally pictured themselves, even if they aren't at a healthy weight.
Even for myself, when my thighs--which is where I have always carried a lot of weight--started slimming down it was very strange and initially kind of an uncomfortable feeling. Not physically uncomfortable, but I would look at my legs and be like "Wow, that is not me-shaped anymore . . . ? My legs look weird." And I am someone who has always hated having huge thighs so it's not like that was a feature I wanted to keep, lol. Still . . . I needed an adjustment period before I could feel comfortable.
I wonder if people going through a gradual weight loss are less prone to that reaction than people losing weight rapidly. I only "noticed" the differences when I started losing 2 lbs a week, didn't notice when I was losing 0.4 a week (although I know my thighs were still slimming down since I was going down pants sizes.)1 -
beaglebrandon wrote: »The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
Out of curiosity, are you using the BMI charts for those years or the same for both? I ask because the cut off for normal to overweight changed about 10 years ago which is why 29 million Americans became overweight overnight.2 -
I'm 5'7 as well, I am 143 right now and I am comfortable with that.. some say I'm to thin but whatevs lol. I was down to 134 and I was comfortable there as well, but found it hard to maintain there. I'm looking to get back to that weight again, but I'm not being over zealous about it. Basically it comes down to ignore nay-sayers and do what you feel comfortable with1
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Only the people closest to me have expressed any concern, and they know I struggled with disordered eating in early adulthood. They get a full pass for wanting to make sure I'm ok, especially because I'm under a lot of stress right now.
A quick visit to my MFP diary clears up any concerns that I'm not eating, however.
N.B.
I'm currently 5'8.25" , 156 lbs. BMI: 23.5
However, I have severe scoliosis, and have lost several inches in height; at age 16 I was 5'11", but have been shrinking. My doctor estimated that my height should be around 6'1", so my body frame really is for a much taller person.
If I were still 5'11", my BMI would only be 21.8, and if I were the (Doctor hypothesized) 6'1", it would be 20.6. I don't believe a low-BMI for my current height would be realistic or desirable. I have worked very hard to reach this weight because of other health issues, but I'd be hard-pressed to find myself telling anyone else they had to do the same.
*cue the YOU ARE NOT AN OUTLIER* crowd...2 -
Hell my family said I was skinny at 220 lol.
I'm a guy and aiming for 165 at 5' 8"0 -
People in this thread asking "why does anyone need to know your weight anyway?" obviously don't know how it feels to have a ton of friends/family that pester the *kitten* out of you with questions about your weight loss. Lol.
"OMG how much do you weight now? OMG how much more do you wanna lose? What kind of diet are you on?" And God help you if you respond with none of your business. 5 -
People in this thread asking "why does anyone need to know your weight anyway?" obviously don't know how it feels to have a ton of friends/family that pester the *kitten* out of you with questions about your weight loss. Lol. "OMG how much do you weight now? OMG how much more do you wanna lose? What kind of diet are you on?" And God help you if you respond with none of your business.
I honestly do not care what someone thinks after MYOB.2 -
I'm 5'7", started out at 211lbs with a goal of 140lbs. I'm currently sitting at 146lbs and yes, I had people telling me I'd be 'too thin' when I got to my goal weight. I can tell you now, I am not 'too thin. I've kept my curves and still have a belly - I need to do more strength training to try and shift it as much as I'm able but have been ill recently so exercise has gone on the back burner. Ultimately you know how best you look and feel for yourself, it's no-one else's business. Heck, *I* didn't know what I'd look like at 140, so how on earth other people did/do, I do not know!
I think the issue I had with other people was that I've always been big/fat/chubby so seeing me now (when I weigh 12lbs under what I did at 17 years old) is a bit of a shock but, I agree with previous posters who say people just aren't used to seeing 'normal' weights on people. At the end of the day, while the concern of friends/family may come from a good place, it's up to you to get your head down and work towards your goals. Thank them for their input, tell them you'll take on board their concerns and then do whatever you damn well please. Worked for me!
Well done on your progress so far.1 -
mca90guitar wrote: »Hell my family said I was skinny at 220 lol.
I'm a guy and aiming for 165 at 5' 8"
The fact that they would say that when your goal weight is still overweight just goes to show that people have lost any ability to understand what normal weight looks like.
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beaglebrandon wrote: »The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
Out of curiosity, are you using the BMI charts for those years or the same for both? I ask because the cut off for normal to overweight changed about 10 years ago which is why 29 million Americans became overweight overnight.
Spoiler Alert:
There was a good chance they were all overweight to begin with.1 -
Yeah, and it's kind of annoying...I think the reason people say that is more to make themselves feel better about their weight lol.
When it comes to family, I understand their concern though--I have 2 family members with EDs, so they're probably just on high alert.1 -
Hi there I think a lot of the concern is a lot of people ten to go to the low end of the scale per say myself (Australian translation) at my height 5" 1 my ideal weight is 49-55kg bit do I plan to get to 49kg... No because think of it this way 1kg below that I'm classed at underweight I think it's best to be at a half way point rather than the lower scale... Also it's beat to get outside view our self image doesn't exactly see us for who we are0
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MaddMaestro wrote: »beaglebrandon wrote: »The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
Out of curiosity, are you using the BMI charts for those years or the same for both? I ask because the cut off for normal to overweight changed about 10 years ago which is why 29 million Americans became overweight overnight.
Spoiler Alert:
There was a good chance they were all overweight to begin with.
Stupid me thought a 2.5 drop in BMI would change where people are on that chart. Me, I was normal at 140# in 1988. 2017 140# is over weight.0 -
MaddMaestro wrote: »beaglebrandon wrote: »The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
Out of curiosity, are you using the BMI charts for those years or the same for both? I ask because the cut off for normal to overweight changed about 10 years ago which is why 29 million Americans became overweight overnight.
Spoiler Alert:
There was a good chance they were all overweight to begin with.
Stupid me thought a 2.5 drop in BMI would change where people are on that chart. Me, I was normal at 140# in 1988. 2017 140# is over weight.
That's because additional research found that the weight at which people started experience weight-related health problems was actually lower than previously thought. Science literally works by changing your conclusions based upon new evidence.3 -
heiliskrimsli wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »beaglebrandon wrote: »The average weight for people from 1960 to 2017 has changed immensely. These are pictures of two people, one from 2017 and one from 1960 which are the average weight and height (5'5") for those years.
The 1960 one is a healthy weight (23.3 BMI). The 2017 one is not (27.6 BMI)
From: conservativepapers.com/news/2015/06/21/the-average-american-woman-now-weighs-as-much-as-the-average-1960s-man/
Out of curiosity, are you using the BMI charts for those years or the same for both? I ask because the cut off for normal to overweight changed about 10 years ago which is why 29 million Americans became overweight overnight.
Spoiler Alert:
There was a good chance they were all overweight to begin with.
Stupid me thought a 2.5 drop in BMI would change where people are on that chart. Me, I was normal at 140# in 1988. 2017 140# is over weight.
That's because additional research found that the weight at which people started experience weight-related health problems was actually lower than previously thought. Science literally works by changing your conclusions based upon new evidence.
Also, am I crazy or doesn't that chart show gains comparatively flat/slowed way down in the past 10 years v. that very steep and steady gain of years prior?
I don't see "suddenly overweight" or any sharp increase in the past 10 years or at that point of 10 years ago. Especially for women - gain slowed after that point (about 2005 according to this chart to 2010), it didn't jump upward. As for the men, there is a slightly bigger rise than the women but again, no big jump at or just after 10 or so years ago as compared to the rise that was already very steadily occurring since 1960.
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DapperDassie wrote: »This is me at 185
I definitely think I have room to lose another 45 lbs if not 50 lol
Ok, now I know why people are giving you a hard time. I don't see where that 45-50 pounds is going to come from either.9 -
BMI tells me I'm fatfitoverfortymom wrote: »Most of the people in my life now have never seen me at a healthy weight. I am 5'6" and down to 174 now after starting out at 256. My goal is 150, which is the top end of my BMI. I weighed about what I weigh now when I met most of the people in my life, so this is the thinnest I've ever been to them. When I explain I'm aiming for the top end of being barely "normal" and not "overweight" the feedback subsides, but I'm anticipating more opinions on my skinniness to come up over the next few months as I shed the rest of it.
At the end of the day, if I was destined to be my current weight for the rest of my life, I could deal with it. I would really love live my life as a "normal" weight person, though. I got 23.7 BMI I'm fit exercising regularly as good as I can and I'm an athlete but I consider my weight as the middle weight for my height and healthy 
Self acceptance is the best key for better life
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BMI tells me I'm fatfitoverfortymom wrote: »Most of the people in my life now have never seen me at a healthy weight. I am 5'6" and down to 174 now after starting out at 256. My goal is 150, which is the top end of my BMI. I weighed about what I weigh now when I met most of the people in my life, so this is the thinnest I've ever been to them. When I explain I'm aiming for the top end of being barely "normal" and not "overweight" the feedback subsides, but I'm anticipating more opinions on my skinniness to come up over the next few months as I shed the rest of it.
At the end of the day, if I was destined to be my current weight for the rest of my life, I could deal with it. I would really love live my life as a "normal" weight person, though. I got 23.7 BMI I'm fit exercising regularly as good as I can and I'm an athlete but I consider my weight as the middle weight for my height and healthy Self acceptance is the best key for better life
Your BMI is in the normal range at 23.7, though.3
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