My not so positive side effects of massive weight loss.
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I think we should not be afraid to talk about all different aspects of our experience. All things that OP listed he listed as not-so-positive aspects of weight loss. So, indirectly he made an ethical judgment of his own feelings/actions.
I can totally believe that huge physical change can wreck how we perceive ourselves, our mission in this word and our role in our social interactions.
I can also believe that some dark parts of our personality can show up and I think that we should be able to discuss that also. We should help each other to understand and overcome those "darknesses".
When I quit smoking, at first, I couldn't help myself not to look down on smokers, even though I was one of them, and even though I live with and love one of them. I think it's just residue of our motivational statements.
It's just something that you need to overcome with time.
In my opinion it's good that you written it down. As many others suggested, some kind of therapy could be helpful. Good luck!
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I am reminded of all the posts around here where people say they don't want to go out in public to exercise while fat because of the comments of rude people... I.e. drivers passing them jogging on the side and yelling insults and fat jokes out the window at them. Everyone's reply tends toward "ignore them - you can lose weight but they will always be a jerk". Well, you are now one of those people who will "always be a jerk" . Which means, you probably always were.
I don't agree, however, with that. Once you can admit that you are basically the pond scum of the earth, and no more important than anyone else on the planet, and that when you die not one person will blink twice at your absence, hopefully that will make you realize you don't want to be that kind of person. That when you die, you want people to be sad and miss you. That while you are alive you want to make a positive impact on the world and the people around you and especially those you do care about. Seriously think about it - if you died today, there are people who would probably actually be *relieved* you are gone, and the rest of the people most likely won't notice. The world will go on as if you never existed.
You can change that. If you want to. Probably even harder than losing weight, but do-able.3 -
kristikitter wrote: »I actually think the honesty is refreshing...? So, you know.
Yes, because it's not a troll post making things up at all. Totally 100% real. He lost weight and became james bond. Honest.3 -
Thank you for keeping it real. The truth may not always be pretty and convenient but by sharing this you are helping some of us check ourselves as we work on our goals. I appreciate your honesty.2
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I'm thinking it must be very sad to be you. Hopefully you can overcome some of these thoughts and actions.0
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1 hr grooming, just sounds like to much work lol.0
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Geocitiesuser wrote: »kristikitter wrote: »I actually think the honesty is refreshing...? So, you know.
Yes, because it's not a troll post making things up at all. Totally 100% real. He lost weight and became james bond. Honest.
You know what? Doesn't even matter if troll post. It's still an interesting point of view and it totally happens. People lose a lot of weight, their lives change, they get more attention, they turn into @ssh0les. Also becoming obsessed with exercise and appearance and shutting out friends who don't share those interests - not unheard of. Did he exaggerate a little? Probably. I doubt he's James Bond. But perception is reality. The world does change around you if you look different. Anyone who's been big and lost a lot of weight know that. I am still surprised when a male co-worker or a stranger on the elevator pays extra attention when I would have been invisible to them when I was fat. Now I've lost 90lbs I'm apparently smarter, prettier, more interesting and more worthwhile as a person. Go figure.10 -
EbonyDahlia wrote: »The world does change around you if you look different. Anyone who's been big and lost a lot of weight know that. I am still surprised when a male co-worker or a stranger on the elevator pays extra attention when I would have been invisible to them when I was fat. Now I've lost 90lbs I'm apparently smarter, prettier, more interesting and more worthwhile as a person. Go figure.
^ YES someone who explains it better than I could. I used to get totally random people flirting with me. I used to get shoes fitted and have the guy helping me basically trip over himself to do stuff for me. Some dude came to measure our office for carpets and complimented me on how lovely I was looking in a summer dress.
It made me arrogant.
None of it happens when you're fat. It's weird and unfair, and obviously your personality changes depending on how you're feeling and treated.
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kristikitter wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »The world does change around you if you look different. Anyone who's been big and lost a lot of weight know that. I am still surprised when a male co-worker or a stranger on the elevator pays extra attention when I would have been invisible to them when I was fat. Now I've lost 90lbs I'm apparently smarter, prettier, more interesting and more worthwhile as a person. Go figure.
^ YES someone who explains it better than I could. I used to get totally random people flirting with me. I used to get shoes fitted and have the guy helping me basically trip over himself to do stuff for me. Some dude came to measure our office for carpets and complimented me on how lovely I was looking in a summer dress.
It made me arrogant.
None of it happens when you're fat. It's weird and unfair, and obviously your personality changes depending on how you're feeling and treated.
Also this. When I was heavier I didn't want to wear cute clothes in case they showed off the wobbly bits, I didn't see the point in makeup cos no one looked at me and I wore my hair short and clipped back. I'm not sure it's the weight loss or the new confidence, but I find more people talk to me now or compliment me so I wear the cute clothes, I take care with my makeup and I've grown my hair and play with new styles. When someone looks at you and takes an interest it's easy to get vain and want the compliments (especially when you never had them).
I love when someone I haven't seen for ages tells me how different I look and like OP said, you can become fearful of getting heavy again and losing that.3 -
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I think that it is wonderful that you have come to share this perspective here, which is different from what we usually read, and that shows how complicated and complex our relationships with our bodies are and how contradictory our views of orselves can be. Congratulations on losing so much weight. Life is long and things change, and it sounds like this is where you are today. You might change again in the future, or not- but self-examination is always worthwhile. I enjoyed your post.2
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I can't believe it took a half page to call troll.
one hundred and fifty percent trollolololol.1 -
You were probably like this before, you just didn't realize it.1
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