My not so positive side effects of massive weight loss.
charliet2010
Posts: 4 Member
Hello all,
I have not posted to MFP in a very long time. So much so that I had no idea of my old account information. However, since this is where I got my start I figured it would be the most appropriate venue for me to post about issues that I am currently struggling with, and maybe other people are also. To make a long story short, I have lost well over 100 pounds and have aprox. 7% body fat give or take. I follow a religious like diet and exercise regimen and am in the best shape physically of my entire life. While I don't want to play the bad guy in the "success" forum, I did want the opportunity to express that this success can often come with a tradeoff in other parts of your life.
The underlying principle that MFP and the fitness industry in general promotes is that weight loss and reaching one’s goal weight will drastically improve a person’s life. From a health standpoint, there is simply no argument whatsoever that this is indeed the case. There are other noticeable changes most people tend to experience outside of the health category which are similarly positive in nature like increased self esteem, a more positive outlook on life, access to an enhanced wardrobe etc.
What people rarely talk about are the not so positive aspects of losing a bunch of weight, and trust me when I tell you that they do exist (at least for me), and they are typically not health related but instead more emotional and psychological in nature. I will highlight a few of my thoughts on the subject below based upon my own personal experience:
I have become a womanizer-
I suppose it would be easy to make the argument that perhaps I was this way all along, it was just that I had far less willing participants when I was heavy so I tended to hang on to a girl for dear life when I actually got one. With the increased confidence that weight loss grants, I start to remind myself of that annoying guy from high school that slept with all the cheerleaders and that everyone pretended to like but secretly hated.
I hang out far too often on dating sites and apps like Match, POF and Tinder and tend to treat females more as a conquest than a desire for companionship. Maybe in my mind I think that I am making up for lost time, or perhaps that I am somehow extracting revenge on female kind for all the times they had rejected me in the past. Whatever the reasons might be, I have become the Attila the Hun of the dating world.
I have become fitness obsessed-
Anything taken to extremes can become detrimental, even something that is seemingly positive like exercise and proper diet. At first when you start your journey, everything is new and exciting. You start to fit into clothes in your closet that you have not been able to wear in years and your energy skyrockets. I did not want this feeling to ever go away, so my life quickly became consumed by diet and exercise. It became the primary focus of my life and occupied nearly all of my free time outside of work. If I was not working out, I was reading material online that pertained to diet and fitness or interacting on various forums dedicated to these subjects.
My friendships began to suffer irreversible harm as a result of my obsession. Unless they were interested in being my workout buddy, what use were they to me? They would only want to go out to the bars or to some restaurant with horrible food options anyway, so I felt I was better off without them. Besides, I had new friends at the gym and online that were far more understanding of my needs.
Other interests that had previously been important to me like professional sports, video games, tuner car builds, etc. all became either a distant afterthought or else quickly became ignored entirely.
My life became about my fitness goals, and I would not let anyone or anything get in the way of this.
I have become addicted to certain supplements/stimulants-
I like to tell people that the reason for my success is proper nutrition and exercise alone, but the fact of the matter is that this position is disingenuous at best on my part. For nearly any male to maintain a 1500 calorie or less diet for a significant amount of time takes an unbelievable amount of self discipline and willpower. Left to your own devices you will crack sooner or later. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when”.
I won’t name the substances I use because I don’t want others to seek them out, but suffice to say that when you post and read enough forums within the fitness industry you soon discover chemical ways to achieve appetite suppression via online sellers. These sellers operate outside FDA approval and sell substances which are either barely legal or legal only because of some loophole in the law.
When you are hopped up on enough stims, sticking to a low calorie goal becomes a walk in the park. In fact, you sometimes have to force yourself to eat meals at all. These substances also have the added impact of mild euphoria and increased energy. I happen to work in the advertising industry where high energy and enthusiasm is richly rewarded. These are attributes I am overflowing with on stims. I absolutely kill it in conference room for presentations these days, and my book of business is now so large that my relatively small firm can barely handle the influx.
That being said, at the end of the day I am still basically just like any other drug addict, with the only major difference being that the substances I use are legal and are dressed up with fancy names like “thermogenic”, “fat burner”, etc.
I have a vanity complex-
When I was fat, I avoided getting my picture taken and even avoided looking at myself in the mirror at all if I could avoid it. The image reflected back to me was wholly depressing. After I lost a bunch of weight and did not mind so much, it was not long until I flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum and became hyper focused on the slightest imperfection.
It was not long and it was no longer about health at all and my focus instead shifted to aesthetics, or put another way, just plain vanity. Places like MFP were no longer enough for me, so I started spending more and more time at places like bodybuilding.com where such vanity had a much more welcome audience.
This attitude quickly transcended simply body sculpting and toning. I paid to have my teeth laser whitened, I started getting 75 dollar haircuts from high end salons, my grooming routine became over an hour and my wardrobe became awash with items from the best materials and trendy designers. I have even had certain people at the office start to question my sexuality. When a guy that had formerly rocked wrinkled Dockers and ties with cartoon characters on them suddenly switches it up to Armani jackets with color matched Gucci slips on, it would make any rational person pause for thought.
I suppose it’s easy to become self absorbed when your entire life’s mission has become focused on "self improvement".
I hate fat people-
This probably seems rather odd doesn't it? I have lived that vast majority of my life as an overweight individual after all, but instead of empathizing with those who are in a similar position they mostly earn nothing but scorn from me. In sociology and psychology this behavior is sometimes called self-hate.
I tend to view overweight people as weak, unmotivated and lacking discipline to take charge of their lives. I have managed to solve my weight dilemma after all, so what the hell is their problem?
I no longer think of myself of the same person-
The concept of “me” and self has become significantly distorted. In reality I am still the same person that I ever was, but I tend to view the “old me” as dead and buried in the ground. I murdered that guy with extreme prejudice and not even a zombie apocalypse could resurrect him from the dead. My biggest fear is that I could somehow fall off the wagon and be fat again. I even sometimes have nightmares about this scenario when trying to sleep at night. I guess “identity crisis” is the closest academic term that describes this phenomenon, but I do know it’s very real. We males tend to have a difficult time with self discovery and self analysis anyway, so when you throw a tremendous and life altering change into the mix it becomes even more convoluted than before.
They way I have gotten past this is to focus on the superficial and the here and now. What is ironic is that when I began my weight loss journey I was constantly focused on the long term and the bigger picture to achieve my goals. In my current frame of mind I can’t look past what is going to happen 5 hours from now.
I have not posted to MFP in a very long time. So much so that I had no idea of my old account information. However, since this is where I got my start I figured it would be the most appropriate venue for me to post about issues that I am currently struggling with, and maybe other people are also. To make a long story short, I have lost well over 100 pounds and have aprox. 7% body fat give or take. I follow a religious like diet and exercise regimen and am in the best shape physically of my entire life. While I don't want to play the bad guy in the "success" forum, I did want the opportunity to express that this success can often come with a tradeoff in other parts of your life.
The underlying principle that MFP and the fitness industry in general promotes is that weight loss and reaching one’s goal weight will drastically improve a person’s life. From a health standpoint, there is simply no argument whatsoever that this is indeed the case. There are other noticeable changes most people tend to experience outside of the health category which are similarly positive in nature like increased self esteem, a more positive outlook on life, access to an enhanced wardrobe etc.
What people rarely talk about are the not so positive aspects of losing a bunch of weight, and trust me when I tell you that they do exist (at least for me), and they are typically not health related but instead more emotional and psychological in nature. I will highlight a few of my thoughts on the subject below based upon my own personal experience:
I have become a womanizer-
I suppose it would be easy to make the argument that perhaps I was this way all along, it was just that I had far less willing participants when I was heavy so I tended to hang on to a girl for dear life when I actually got one. With the increased confidence that weight loss grants, I start to remind myself of that annoying guy from high school that slept with all the cheerleaders and that everyone pretended to like but secretly hated.
I hang out far too often on dating sites and apps like Match, POF and Tinder and tend to treat females more as a conquest than a desire for companionship. Maybe in my mind I think that I am making up for lost time, or perhaps that I am somehow extracting revenge on female kind for all the times they had rejected me in the past. Whatever the reasons might be, I have become the Attila the Hun of the dating world.
I have become fitness obsessed-
Anything taken to extremes can become detrimental, even something that is seemingly positive like exercise and proper diet. At first when you start your journey, everything is new and exciting. You start to fit into clothes in your closet that you have not been able to wear in years and your energy skyrockets. I did not want this feeling to ever go away, so my life quickly became consumed by diet and exercise. It became the primary focus of my life and occupied nearly all of my free time outside of work. If I was not working out, I was reading material online that pertained to diet and fitness or interacting on various forums dedicated to these subjects.
My friendships began to suffer irreversible harm as a result of my obsession. Unless they were interested in being my workout buddy, what use were they to me? They would only want to go out to the bars or to some restaurant with horrible food options anyway, so I felt I was better off without them. Besides, I had new friends at the gym and online that were far more understanding of my needs.
Other interests that had previously been important to me like professional sports, video games, tuner car builds, etc. all became either a distant afterthought or else quickly became ignored entirely.
My life became about my fitness goals, and I would not let anyone or anything get in the way of this.
I have become addicted to certain supplements/stimulants-
I like to tell people that the reason for my success is proper nutrition and exercise alone, but the fact of the matter is that this position is disingenuous at best on my part. For nearly any male to maintain a 1500 calorie or less diet for a significant amount of time takes an unbelievable amount of self discipline and willpower. Left to your own devices you will crack sooner or later. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when”.
I won’t name the substances I use because I don’t want others to seek them out, but suffice to say that when you post and read enough forums within the fitness industry you soon discover chemical ways to achieve appetite suppression via online sellers. These sellers operate outside FDA approval and sell substances which are either barely legal or legal only because of some loophole in the law.
When you are hopped up on enough stims, sticking to a low calorie goal becomes a walk in the park. In fact, you sometimes have to force yourself to eat meals at all. These substances also have the added impact of mild euphoria and increased energy. I happen to work in the advertising industry where high energy and enthusiasm is richly rewarded. These are attributes I am overflowing with on stims. I absolutely kill it in conference room for presentations these days, and my book of business is now so large that my relatively small firm can barely handle the influx.
That being said, at the end of the day I am still basically just like any other drug addict, with the only major difference being that the substances I use are legal and are dressed up with fancy names like “thermogenic”, “fat burner”, etc.
I have a vanity complex-
When I was fat, I avoided getting my picture taken and even avoided looking at myself in the mirror at all if I could avoid it. The image reflected back to me was wholly depressing. After I lost a bunch of weight and did not mind so much, it was not long until I flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum and became hyper focused on the slightest imperfection.
It was not long and it was no longer about health at all and my focus instead shifted to aesthetics, or put another way, just plain vanity. Places like MFP were no longer enough for me, so I started spending more and more time at places like bodybuilding.com where such vanity had a much more welcome audience.
This attitude quickly transcended simply body sculpting and toning. I paid to have my teeth laser whitened, I started getting 75 dollar haircuts from high end salons, my grooming routine became over an hour and my wardrobe became awash with items from the best materials and trendy designers. I have even had certain people at the office start to question my sexuality. When a guy that had formerly rocked wrinkled Dockers and ties with cartoon characters on them suddenly switches it up to Armani jackets with color matched Gucci slips on, it would make any rational person pause for thought.
I suppose it’s easy to become self absorbed when your entire life’s mission has become focused on "self improvement".
I hate fat people-
This probably seems rather odd doesn't it? I have lived that vast majority of my life as an overweight individual after all, but instead of empathizing with those who are in a similar position they mostly earn nothing but scorn from me. In sociology and psychology this behavior is sometimes called self-hate.
I tend to view overweight people as weak, unmotivated and lacking discipline to take charge of their lives. I have managed to solve my weight dilemma after all, so what the hell is their problem?
I no longer think of myself of the same person-
The concept of “me” and self has become significantly distorted. In reality I am still the same person that I ever was, but I tend to view the “old me” as dead and buried in the ground. I murdered that guy with extreme prejudice and not even a zombie apocalypse could resurrect him from the dead. My biggest fear is that I could somehow fall off the wagon and be fat again. I even sometimes have nightmares about this scenario when trying to sleep at night. I guess “identity crisis” is the closest academic term that describes this phenomenon, but I do know it’s very real. We males tend to have a difficult time with self discovery and self analysis anyway, so when you throw a tremendous and life altering change into the mix it becomes even more convoluted than before.
They way I have gotten past this is to focus on the superficial and the here and now. What is ironic is that when I began my weight loss journey I was constantly focused on the long term and the bigger picture to achieve my goals. In my current frame of mind I can’t look past what is going to happen 5 hours from now.
47
Replies
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The community policy forbids me from giving my honest reply to this.83
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Weight loss can definitely make a huge difference is perspective across the board. I often feel like I no longer know my body - it's surreal.2
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No pics...
21 -
Geocitiesuser wrote: »The community policy forbids me from giving my honest reply to this.
^ ^ This ^ ^17 -
charliet2010 wrote: »Hello all,
I have not posted to MFP in a very long time. So much so that I had no idea of my old account information. However, since this is where I got my start I figured it would be the most appropriate venue for me to post about issues that I am currently struggling with, and maybe other people are also. To make a long story short, I have lost well over 100 pounds and have aprox. 7% body fat give or take. I follow a religious like diet and exercise regimen and am in the best shape physically of my entire life. While I don't want to play the bad guy in the "success" forum, I did want the opportunity to express that this success can often come with a tradeoff in other parts of your life.
The underlying principle that MFP and the fitness industry in general promotes is that weight loss and reaching one’s goal weight will drastically improve a person’s life. From a health standpoint, there is simply no argument whatsoever that this is indeed the case. There are other noticeable changes most people tend to experience outside of the health category which are similarly positive in nature like increased self esteem, a more positive outlook on life, access to an enhanced wardrobe etc.
What people rarely talk about are the not so positive aspects of losing a bunch of weight, and trust me when I tell you that they do exist (at least for me), and they are typically not health related but instead more emotional and psychological in nature. I will highlight a few of my thoughts on the subject below based upon my own personal experience:
I have become a womanizer-
I suppose it would be easy to make the argument that perhaps I was this way all along, it was just that I had far less willing participants when I was heavy so I tended to hang on to a girl for dear life when I actually got one. With the increased confidence that weight loss grants, I start to remind myself of that annoying guy from high school that slept with all the cheerleaders and that everyone pretended to like but secretly hated.
I hang out far too often on dating sites and apps like Match, POF and Tinder and tend to treat females more as a conquest than a desire for companionship. Maybe in my mind I think that I am making up for lost time, or perhaps that I am somehow extracting revenge on female kind for all the times they had rejected me in the past. Whatever the reasons might be, I have become the Attila the Hun of the dating world.
I have become fitness obsessed-
Anything taken to extremes can become detrimental, even something that is seemingly positive like exercise and proper diet. At first when you start your journey, everything is new and exciting. You start to fit into clothes in your closet that you have not been able to wear in years and your energy skyrockets. I did not want this feeling to ever go away, so my life quickly became consumed by diet and exercise. It became the primary focus of my life and occupied nearly all of my free time outside of work. If I was not working out, I was reading material online that pertained to diet and fitness or interacting on various forums dedicated to these subjects.
My friendships began to suffer irreversible harm as a result of my obsession. Unless they were interested in being my workout buddy, what use were they to me? They would only want to go out to the bars or to some restaurant with horrible food options anyway, so I felt I was better off without them. Besides, I had new friends at the gym and online that were far more understanding of my needs.
Other interests that had previously been important to me like professional sports, video games, tuner car builds, etc. all became either a distant afterthought or else quickly became ignored entirely.
My life became about my fitness goals, and I would not let anyone or anything get in the way of this.
I have become addicted to certain supplements/stimulants-
I like to tell people that the reason for my success is proper nutrition and exercise alone, but the fact of the matter is that this position is disingenuous at best on my part. For nearly any male to maintain a 1500 calorie or less diet for a significant amount of time takes an unbelievable amount of self discipline and willpower. Left to your own devices you will crack sooner or later. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when”.
I won’t name the substances I use because I don’t want others to seek them out, but suffice to say that when you post and read enough forums within the fitness industry you soon discover chemical ways to achieve appetite suppression via online sellers. These sellers operate outside FDA approval and sell substances which are either barely legal or legal only because of some loophole in the law.
When you are hopped up on enough stims, sticking to a low calorie goal becomes a walk in the park. In fact, you sometimes have to force yourself to eat meals at all. These substances also have the added impact of mild euphoria and increased energy. I happen to work in the advertising industry where high energy and enthusiasm is richly rewarded. These are attributes I am overflowing with on stims. I absolutely kill it in conference room for presentations these days, and my book of business is now so large that my relatively small firm can barely handle the influx.
That being said, at the end of the day I am still basically just like any other drug addict, with the only major difference being that the substances I use are legal and are dressed up with fancy names like “thermogenic”, “fat burner”, etc.
I have a vanity complex-
When I was fat, I avoided getting my picture taken and even avoided looking at myself in the mirror at all if I could avoid it. The image reflected back to me was wholly depressing. After I lost a bunch of weight and did not mind so much, it was not long until I flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum and became hyper focused on the slightest imperfection.
It was not long and it was no longer about health at all and my focus instead shifted to aesthetics, or put another way, just plain vanity. Places like MFP were no longer enough for me, so I started spending more and more time at places like bodybuilding.com where such vanity had a much more welcome audience.
This attitude quickly transcended simply body sculpting and toning. I paid to have my teeth laser whitened, I started getting 75 dollar haircuts from high end salons, my grooming routine became over an hour and my wardrobe became awash with items from the best materials and trendy designers. I have even had certain people at the office start to question my sexuality. When a guy that had formerly rocked wrinkled Dockers and ties with cartoon characters on them suddenly switches it up to Armani jackets with color matched Gucci slips on, it would make any rational person pause for thought.
I suppose it’s easy to become self absorbed when your entire life’s mission has become focused on "self improvement".
I hate fat people-
This probably seems rather odd doesn't it? I have lived that vast majority of my life as an overweight individual after all, but instead of empathizing with those who are in a similar position they mostly earn nothing but scorn from me. In sociology and psychology this behavior is sometimes called self-hate.
I tend to view overweight people as weak, unmotivated and lacking discipline to take charge of their lives. I have managed to solve my weight dilemma after all, so what the hell is their problem?
I no longer think of myself of the same person-
The concept of “me” and self has become significantly distorted. In reality I am still the same person that I ever was, but I tend to view the “old me” as dead and buried in the ground. I murdered that guy with extreme prejudice and not even a zombie apocalypse could resurrect him from the dead. My biggest fear is that I could somehow fall off the wagon and be fat again. I even sometimes have nightmares about this scenario when trying to sleep at night. I guess “identity crisis” is the closest academic term that describes this phenomenon, but I do know it’s very real. We males tend to have a difficult time with self discovery and self analysis anyway, so when you throw a tremendous and life altering change into the mix it becomes even more convoluted than before.
They way I have gotten past this is to focus on the superficial and the here and now. What is ironic is that when I began my weight loss journey I was constantly focused on the long term and the bigger picture to achieve my goals. In my current frame of mind I can’t look past what is going to happen 5 hours from now.
Have you considered counseling?61 -
Seems like there is more at play then just the side effects of weight loss. If you've fallen into making these drastic and negative changes, you may want to consider talking to a therapist.
It sounds like you have some issues with self control and addiction (addiction to stimulants, attention [women, attention for looks, etc] obsession with weight loss and physique) as well as some issues with narcissism that may be based in self-esteem issues.
I know plenty of people who have lost significant amounts of weight, and did not end up with addiction issues obsessive personalities or stop respecting a large portion of the population (women and overweight people).
I don't say this to be mean, and I hope you don't take this as rude, but it certainly sounds like there are more issues at play than just a desire to be healthy and fit. I appreciate your honesty, and I hope you will consider getting help for these issues.52 -
Very insightful self realizations. The bright side of you recognizing these, it that you have the power to change them.51
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So my one question would be - if you "hate fat people" because you've met your goals, how is it that you can't see that all of us are in the middle of getting fit and healthy too? It's not like you've lost it all overnight and you know the time and effort it takes to get to your goals. When you see an overweight person on the street - you know not of their routine or struggles. You don't know that they're STAYING on a 1200 calorie diet WITHOUT chemical enhancement. You don't know that they're working their *kitten* off in the gym every single night just as you did. You have no fffing clue what a perfect stranger is going through.
Thank you for sharing your story.27 -
You need therapy, friend.36
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I am sure there is not nearly enough room for YOU here and all the rest of us, with your overactive ego and all...... Seems pretty crowed....
11 -
When I lost a lot of weight and became a runner, I was obsessed as well. My social life practically disappeared because I wouldn't eat out. Watching calories was more important to me than relationships. Therapy really can help with that, as well as with the rest of the items you mentioned. Insight is the first step, but insight doesn't create change.23
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I admire the fact that you were willing to post some of your unflattering views of yourself, even somewhat anonymously, online. I would also advise you to seek counseling. Seems like there's more at play under the surface here. Best of luck.19
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I agree with the commenters about getting counseling. My first instinct is that thoughts you say you have are just a new manifestation of your same self, but with a different internal body-image. What you wrote makes you sound very unhappy. As someone else said, plenty of people lose weight and feel much better inside and out.
To the person who agrees with the "I hate fat people" / no excuses attitude: remember how it felt to not be healthy. Many of us used to be heavier, and it's tempting to judge, but it's wrongheaded. Nobody has the same body as you, not everybody makes it a top priority to be "thin," and being "thin" or even muscular doesn't automatically make you healthy - note OP is an addict. He's neither physically nor mentally healthy. Hating people for being fat isn't a healthy thing to think, and so maybe you ought to consider working on your inner self, and silence your judgementalism and negativity.13 -
Might I suggest counseling? You said it yourself - "Anything taken to extremes can become detrimental" You know this isn't healthy, so what are you doing to fix it?7
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I agree, you would benefit from seeing a good therapist. You could get a recommendation from your doctor, who could also help you with the stimulant addiction. There is no harm in seeking help when something bad is happening, and this is all not good, nor normal, IMHO. For example, I have lost weight and did not become a "manizer." Good luck, realizing you have problem is the first step.5
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You've become Patrick Bateman! Turn back before you develop opinions about Huey Lewis & the News.
https://youtu.be/46-WNPlCYsg
Edited to add some light reading: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?biw=320&bih=460&um=1&ie=UTF-8&lr&cites=18245015398274086687
Kick the stims, they are making you weird.27 -
charliet2010 wrote: »
I have a vanity complex-
When I was fat, I avoided getting my picture taken and even avoided looking at myself in the mirror at all if I could avoid it. The image reflected back to me was wholly depressing. After I lost a bunch of weight and did not mind so much, it was not long until I flipped to the opposite end of the spectrum and became hyper focused on the slightest imperfection.
As you re-read this I hope you find the image reflected back wholly depressing.
You can keep changing.6 -
Perspective for you from someone who was exactly where you are and lived he nightmare of gaining it all back (except the woman's version). My initial success after spending my entire childhood being bullied about my physical appearance pulled the worst out of me. My reasons for wanting to change myself may have been written down as "I want to be healthy" but in my mind and in my heart I wanted to be accepted by these *kitten* that were being cruel to me. In the end I got what I wanted. I became the college version of a "mean girl". I abused my body with stimulants and ended up getting all my calories from alcohol because I wanted to be at the party but couldn't risk eating because I would get fat again. The self abuse and lifestyle of suddenly being deemed attractive by men and having power over them based on my sexuality led to some really dark paths and one day all the vanity, the euphoria, the power, all washed away and I was left with a depressed shell of a human. Sure I had a college experience for the books and I learned a lot about the darkest parts of myself but it took YEARS and becoming fat again to learn to love myself. I found my salvation in learning to love my body for what it can do when I am healthy how heavy I can lift how far I can run not how much body fat do I have or what dress looks good. I found my life balance in learning to drink sparkling water at the bar with my friends so I don't become a recluse or fall back into starving myself to compensate for alcohol. I found a sport that challenges me enough to keep me excited but requires enough rest and recovery time to allow me to use my fitness in other areas of life such as kayaking, horseback riding, hiking, etc. I learned how to balance my goals by learning it's ok to be strict because this is a 12 week cut versus it's ok to have wine tonight because you're on maintenance or it's ok to order that dessert you're massing and you're going to lift heavy tomorrow. I learned that a chance to encourage someone on their journey (even if they have not started it yet) is the most positive thing I can do with my story and I'm genuinely excited to talk with "fat" people who want to better themselves. I hope it doesn't take the same spiral it took me to change my perspective and heal and become the loving fun woman I was before my success again.41
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Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with pp that insight and self-awareness are a step in the right direction. I hope you seek counseling to continue working through these things you've realized about your views of self and others.4
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I pity you, must be horrible being so mean that you can't keep a long term partner.8
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I think the easy thing to do would be to criticize you for what you have said, but I actually find it a step in the right direction. For one, you acknowledge you have some issues and secondly you have sought some sort of help by posting your unfiltered commentary on this community.
I am not a therapist but it sounds like you never really knew who you were when you were overweight and your just as lost now if not more so. I have found that e-v-e-r-y-t-h-I-n-g in life needs balance. Going to the extremes is never helpful mentally, physically or emotionally.
I think you should seek out some sort of therapy for your dilemmas as they will not be solved quickly. Good luck to you.9 -
You were better fat!19
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Honestly, I don't think we change when we lose weight. We are who we are and society allows us to express our true selves more easily when we look "normal" or "attractive." You're right. You were always a womanizer, you were always vain, and you always had an addictive personality. Without the food and fat to shield you, these other issues came to the fore and started expressing themselves.
I hope you get therapy. I hope you get help. I hope you stop using women, and I hope you stop abusing yourself. It seems ironic that you would strive so hard for health only to start slowly destroying yourself in a different way.
I hope the next success story you post on here will be of you getting rid of all this extra garbage and being a content individual.60 -
Troll.3
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I agree that identifying and wanting to change is a good step. I see a common thread in all of these behaviors related to a very egocentric worldview. May I suggest you step out of yourself and your circumstance a bit? Go help someone else. I would suggest NOT in the weightloss world. Go feed someone. Go volunteer. Go build a fence for someone who needs it. Find gratitude. Understanding what's important in life and doing some real and focused activities not for your own immediate benefit may me a great next step.6
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I appreciate the brutal honesty and recognize the vulnerability it takes to do that with what you admit are negative and unhealthy feelings. I hope you find an outlet for this tension that's causing so much negativity7
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I agree regarding troll. I especially don't believe the part about bringing in so much business the firm can't handle the influx. Sounds like a load of stuff to me.4
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Absolutely 100% agree with folks saying this is a troll post. So hard to bite my lip, but if I post what I think, I'm the one who gets reprimanded.2
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I want to thank everyone for taking the time out of their day to respond to my situation with constructive criticism and insight. I mainly just wanted to get all of that off my chest and this gave me the opportunity to do so in a somewhat anonymous fashion. I wanted to be as brutally honest about the situation as I could muster as I felt this would net me the most genuine feedback. I really do not have anyone in my life that I can express such concerns to.
I am frankly embarrassed in most respects of what my life has become in the last 2 years, despite outward appearances and sentiments to the contrary by those around me. I was especially moved by response of Crystal Rose as she expressed feelings that I could immediately identify with, and that is what all of us are looking for on the whole; someone who understands.
I am not going to speculate on what next steps I plan on taking, but I felt the first step is coming to grips with the reality that is my life minus the huge facade I attempt to put forward to those around me.
Again, I thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to respond.
12 -
Good luck. I mean that.2
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