"You're getting too strong"

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jessicagreen1828
jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
edited May 2017 in Motivation and Support
So my husband told me yesterday that I'm getting too strong, with a smile, but part of me is wondering if this is a genuine compliment? Cuz it feels a little passive-aggressive. I've been eating right and exercising for about 4 months now and he runs to keep in shape to meet job requirements, but also goes periods without exercising. Would you take this as a compliment?
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Replies

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    If my husband said that, I would question it, too. He lifts with me, though. No such thing as "too strong" in our house.
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    If my husband said that, I would question it, too. He lifts with me, though. No such thing as "too strong" in our house.

    Exactly.... he maintains it was a 'solid compliment' and would not have changed the way he phrased it. Because if I was his running buddy, he'd tell him the same thing "you're getting too fast". Also.... I am not my husband's male running buddy.

  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
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    There's no such thing as "too strong." So, he must have been joking.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
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    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
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    I think if he said it with a smile you have nothing to worry about. Accept the compliment and move forwards.
  • kristikitter
    kristikitter Posts: 602 Member
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    Heck yeah that's a compliment! Sounds like he might be proud of you :)
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Considering the follow up it sounds like he was being playful rather than passive aggressive, my husband called me a teachers pet when I started doing jump lunges (rather than normal ones) straight out of a wall sit during our circuit training sesh, I flipped him the bird and we laughed, I love a bit of sass as long as there's no malicious intent.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,491 Member
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    This sounds like a thing that stuck with you because it's something on YOUR mind. Maybe?

    And agree with the others, there is no such thing.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    I am with you seems a little like a backhanded compliment with some jealousy in the mix.
    There is no such thing as being too strong. So I'd tell him to join the lifting fun
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    You are the one who is married to him. You are the one who knows him. Why ask us?
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,205 Member
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Would you take this as a compliment?

    Absolutely!! :grin:

  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
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    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.
  • cahubbard6421
    cahubbard6421 Posts: 769 Member
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    He gave you a compliment. Accept it and move on.
  • elelja945
    elelja945 Posts: 86 Member
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    Just my 2 cents. In modern society one of the few things men are still seen as having the advantage in is strength. From an early age most males are praised for their strength, it may be strongly tied to their self esteem. Don't take it personal. Just like with anyone who compliments you, reply with a compliment for him too. Just my 2 cents.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.

    I totally get that. I obviously don't know your husband but again, I was in a similar position with my ex. It definitely has to do with ego. My playful comments about her strength definitely had some, "Hey come on, are you trying to show me up?" undertones to it. It wasn't malicious on my part, but more my projecting my own insecurities about not looking a certain way next to someone who looked like she belonged in a fitness magazine.

    Without knowing your husband its hard to say if that's similar to what I went thru, but don't let that get to you. Kick *kitten* in the gym and do you. If anything, maybe start suggesting he start lifting with you!

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