We broke up because...
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He wanted a harem..said I could be wife number 5..I wanted to be number 3
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She never wanted to be my number 10
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She said I was like her number 20
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Smelt like a no 2
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I hated #2 pencils but she insisted that's all I could use0
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She said it looked like a pencil0
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It looked like half a pencil
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She thought I was using a cucumber to satisfy her appetite0
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All he'd let me it was pickles0
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She would stay up way past her bedtime and say weird things on MFP0
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Haha true story0
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He took too many mirror selfies0
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She didn't like watching us in the mirror0
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She cant take selfies0
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He couldn't swim...well and I'm a mermaid soooo....I wasn't going to work0
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I thought she was dolphin0
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Her farts were lethal..I was scared of her dutch ovens1
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I was scared of her basement1
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She cooked using dutch ovens0
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She had bad gas problems and always farted in her sleep0
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he blamed his bad gas on everyone else1
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She thought that Dutch Ovens were a form of foreplay
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Her dog kept eating her panties and I had to walk him.0
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He hate dogs ..0
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He kept blaming the dog for eating my panties, but secretly he was hiding them.0
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She was too slow0
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He went too fast ;p0
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