Tell me your favorite joke. We all need a good laugh.. Good

Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick!

Q. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot!

Those are really the only two jokes I know! :laugh:

two dogs are walking down the street and they see parking meters and one says to the other, look pay toilets.

This is one of my favorites...

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a rum.................and coke". The bartender says, "Why the huge pause"? The Polar Bear looks at his "Paws" and says "I don't know I was born with them"! LMAO, it makes me smile every time, too cute!:bigsmile:

A woman tells her husband she is thinking of getting a boob job because she wants bigger boobs, he says well I know how you can do that without surgery. She said really how? He said just take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts , a couple times a day for a year or two. She says now how is that supposed to work? He says I don't know but it worked for your *kitten*.

WARNING: THESE ARE GROSS!!! (I teach 7th grade, the kids love 'em.)


Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A: Salad shooter!!




~Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

~He worked it out with a pencil.

Q: What's between sex and fear?

A: Fünf!

You only understand it if you know the numbers in German.

Two men run into a bar. You would think the second one would have seen it.

Where does the scientologist keep his coffee cup?
In his L. Ron Cupboard

This is so lame but it makes me laugh!

Q: Where do fish sleep?

A: In waterbeds!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep. I don't want to be panicking like the passengers in his car.

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married.

On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69.

The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want.. beef and broccoli?"

What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays!

It's been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches and it doesn't really matter if it is Visa or Mastercard.