We broke up because...
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Always bragging about his pretty hair
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Wouldn't let me wax him0
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She tried to wax my ball hairs.1
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He never shaved anything0
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She wanted to give me a Brazilian0
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Never happened..Sam is my spirit animal
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She wanted me to be a beast, literally.1
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She didn't like role playing0
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He died so I had no choice.0
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She tried to kill me for the insurance money0
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I asked him if he would wear a special shirt with red circles on it when we went target shooting. He looked at me funny then when I asked him to move in a zig zag pattern.0
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He snores0
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She slurps...0
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He gurgles0
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He was always moving on...1
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