losing weight with husbands who love to cook and eat out

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doceo
doceo Posts: 46 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Well, the title sums it up. I married a man who loves to cook comfort food. Since I retired, I put on more weight because we're enjoying life a little more.

I'm 61, 5'10 and 175. I use to work out all the time, but then the job started to consume my life. Now, I'm retired, exhausted, and have a spare tire.

I ordered 2 clean eating books and I'm rejoining the Y today and setting up a trainer (back issues and I stopped going after elbow and shoulder surgeries).

Is there a really decent clean eating group here? I saw one, but it only had one person....
I guess I also need someone to yell at me...keep me accountable.

I've ordered Piyo, PT24 (I think that's it), as well as kettle bells etc. I just need to USE them....and the YMCA.

Anyone else in my shoes, so to speak?
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Replies

  • doceo
    doceo Posts: 46 Member
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    Interesting. My daughter lost 40 lbs by "clean eating." I'll have to find out what she really means by that. It could be completely different from my impression.

    Jemhh-- Most places where we live are pizza joints and bbq joints. Their menus are quite simple and going elsewhere is quite a drive.

    Lounmoun -- I have to figure that out more, that's for sure!
  • Monman45
    Monman45 Posts: 4 Member
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    I have a husband like yours, loves to cook when he's home. He works out of town for 4-6 weeks, so when he's home the kitchen is his. Only problem- he makes me feel bad when I don't eat what he cooks, not with words but his expressions and I don't think he means to. So then I eventually give in and eat and then I'm kicking myself later. I need to just say No and walk away. That's the hard part, is saying No to him. I'm 47, 5'4 and 180. The heaviest I've ever been. When he's gone I do good kinda on my eating and I workout at the gym everyday, but it all comes back when he comes home. So frustrating..
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,898 Member
    edited May 2017
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    I don't consider myself a clean eater per se. I do focus on whole foods and cooking from scratch because I get full on less calories this way. It's also easier to calculate calories when one is doing the cooking.

    Ultra Processed Foods have been specifically engineered to not provide satiety, so you will eat more of them. When I do eat them, I do so with the awareness that I am doing this to satisfy something other than nutrition and satiety - they are usually completely empty calories for me. So I have to work them in to my calorie budget.

    I am also living with a man who likes to eat higher calorie foods more often then I would on my own. So I do things like take smaller portions of the high calorie stuff and eat more low calorie vegetables. I'm disciplined about exercising regularly.

    My mom is retired and tends to be in the Underweight range because she spends so much time gardening. Her trainer calls it Extreme Gardening, lol. She's also scraped and painted the outside of her house, as well as working on the inside. So in addition to going to the gym, consider a hobby in which you will be active.
  • spdaphne
    spdaphne Posts: 262 Member
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    My boyfriend eats out more than me but thankfully likes my cooking and cooking together. Eating out is challenging with him as is his Low Fodmap diet which he kinda sticks to, but that diet is difficult. I feel bad for him.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    Nah, I do all the cooking at my house so I don't have this problem. I feel like it would be difficult to count calories if you're eating mainly what someone else is cooking for you. Maybe you could prepare most of your meals instead?
  • midlomel1971
    midlomel1971 Posts: 1,283 Member
    edited May 2017
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    My husband is a meat and potatoes guy and loves to eat out. For me, it's all about portion control. If I make steak and baked potatoes one night, I eat a small portion of steak, skip the potatoes (or have a small portion) and eat a huge salad. That way I'm not making anything special or different.

    Eating out is never an issue. Rarely do we eat anywhere that doesn't have salads or grilled meats or healthier options.
  • k_nelson_24
    k_nelson_24 Posts: 251 Member
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    My husband is an excellent cook and we eat out often. I have lost 100+ pounds over the last 2 years.
    I try to save the majority of my calories for the dinners my husband cooks, and eat as clean as possible for the rest of the time.
    When ordering out, I always get a lean protein like chicken or fish and plenty of veggies. I will also order a salad with lite dressing. A good rule of thumb to have when eating out is to eat as low carb as possible!

    Just keep in mind that in the end its all about keeping a calorie deficit.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    doceo wrote: »
    Interesting. My daughter lost 40 lbs by "clean eating." I'll have to find out what she really means by that. It could be completely different from my impression.

    Jemhh-- Most places where we live are pizza joints and bbq joints. Their menus are quite simple and going elsewhere is quite a drive.

    Lounmoun -- I have to figure that out more, that's for sure!

    Anyone who loses weight does so because they have a calorie deficit through reduced calorie intake or increased calories burned or both. What type of food you eat is preference.

    MFP will tell you what calories to eat to lose weight. Log as accurately as you can. Eat food you like and you'll be able to stick with it better. Find an activity you enjoy and you'll stick with it better.

    I live with my husband and teenage daughter. I am the meal planner, cook, grocery list maker and we eat out one meal per week. I have not changed the type of food we eat. I have been able to find things at restaurants that fit my calorie goal.

    Plan meals together. Have some of what you both want.
    Cook or be involved in the cooking so you know what is going in the food.
    Look up nutritional info for restaurants you frequent. If they don't have it available find a similar item to log.
    Try prelogging your day so you can see you get the right amount of calories and protein.
    Eat your own thing for breakfast or lunch and the same thing for dinner. Save more calories for your shared meal.
    Put more vegetables on your plate. Pair a smaller portion of higher calorie foods with more lower calorie vegetables. Have a slice or two of pizza with a salad. Have a regular burger with a side salad.
    Watch portion sizes of things like bread, rice, cheese, pasta, dressings, sauces, crackers, oils, butter.
    Read labels.
    Get a digital food scale to help figure out portion sizes.
    Drink lower calorie or no calorie drinks and save more calories for food.
  • ferd_ttp5
    ferd_ttp5 Posts: 246 Member
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    For most people the equation is, clean eating to be healthy and for health reasons, calorie deficit for weight loss. :)
  • StarBrightStarBright
    StarBrightStarBright Posts: 97 Member
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    Not retired (only 35 years to go!) but I am married to man who has the metabolism of a hummingbird, loves to eat, and loves to eat as a bonding activity. He would rather me eat with him than lose weight so it has been an interesting 6 months for me.

    I still eat a little of everything that he eats, but I also fill my plate with 50% salad or green veggie. This meant the other day that he ate half a rack of ribs, a giant scoop of cheese grits, and a small salad. I ate a huge salad, a spoonful of grits and two ribs.

    Regarding "clean eating" - there are lots of meanings (no sugar, no wheat, low amounts of meat with no factory farming, etc) but often when people talk about losing weight because of clean eating they likely mean that when they cook more whole or scratch foods they basically feel fuller and eat less than they would have with processed (ie. food kits, fast food, fried food, etc) foods. That is how people lose weight from clean eating without counting calories. More wholesome foods fill you up more and therefor you need to eat less. I think this can be a very valid way of eating if you don't want to deal with counting calories and if you find it works for you. It worked for me for about 10 years and then I started to overeat "clean" foods so here I am, on MFP also counting calories.

    If your husband loves to cook then you can steer him to more wholesome recipes (I highly recommend the New Southern Garden Cookbook and Local Flavors). There are some really wonderful, healthy, relatively lower calorie foods that can take a lot of time and effort to make delicious and satisfy both the cooking yen and delicious comfort aspect of food.

    However, if you find you aren't losing on wholesome/clean foods then you do have to start figuring out CICO.

    Best of luck!
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    I'm in Memphis, so you have my sympathy about the pizza and BBQ places. In other states, even a pizza place typically has salads as well, but not here! Many of our restaurants serve their only vegetables deep fried.

    My advice is to show him the math. Log everything you eat for a normal week of his meals, figure out your recommended caloric intake, and then show him how much his foods are in terms of what you are allowed to eat. It's possible he just doesn't realize quite how few calories a post menopausal woman needs, and how fattening his favorite foods are.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,521 Member
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    I think that a person who loves to cook will love learning to cook new things. You just have to tell him what you want to eat and then stay strong, not eating too many calories, passing altogether on items that are really over the top (e.g., mac-n-cheese, nope!). Nothing makes a cook change their recipes faster than people not eating what they cook. Cooking healthy foods is just as fun as any cooking.

    Now, learning to stare down a plate of fresh brownies is difficult, but it sure sends a message.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Life is too short to give up good food. Read up on the centenarians in Italy and how they make the family dinner the center of their social life.

    Other have described how you do it. Fill up your plate with veggies. The main meal will be about the size of a deck of cards. He gets to do what he loves and you get to see his pleasure as you enjoy what he has prepared.

    Even ordinary places like steak houses and pizza joints have acceptable offerings on their menu.

    There's a trucker on the discussion right now who describes how he managed to lose 198 pounds eating truck stop food.

    All food can be enjoyed in moderation.

    If I were you I'd return those two clean eating books and get your man a Mediterranean or grilling cook book instead.

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