Do you have confidence in your body?

zaynesmommy2015
zaynesmommy2015 Posts: 20 Member
edited November 18 in Health and Weight Loss
My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
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Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • FireTurtle75
    FireTurtle75 Posts: 2,014 Member
    Nope, maybe 150 pounds from now I will.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    Yes.
  • JessicaMcB
    JessicaMcB Posts: 1,503 Member
    Hitting a number, in my opinion, will not magically imbue you with confidence. I'm 5'10" and 130lbs give or take a hair because maintenance- it will still be a cold day in hell before you see me on the beach in a bikini, etc. There were race photos of me from behind at the marathon I ran last weekend that were mortifying to see.

    I may never be entirely confident in how I look, thems be the breaks. I have however cultivated more confidence in my own abilities however through developing as a distance runner and that *usually* means more to me.
  • MelanieCN77
    MelanieCN77 Posts: 4,047 Member
    I started my weight loss in the mid 170s, am at 135 now, 5'5. I actually DID have confidence in my body before. I wasn't thin but I was fairly fit because I play an all women'Bs contact sport. I can't tell you what that did for me, personally. The community of other women and the blatant proof of what a body can do at any size changed me as a person.
  • BuBeauty01
    BuBeauty01 Posts: 3 Member
    Yes
  • shanahz
    shanahz Posts: 261 Member
    Pretty much never.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,698 Member
    edited May 2017
    Do you have confidence in your body?

    I had heaps of confidence in my body ... until I was diagnosed with precancer and now I feel like parts of my body are letting the side down.

    My confidence is more in the realm of ability and strength than what I look like.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Do you have confidence in your body?

    I had heaps of confidence in my body ... until I was diagnosed with precancer and now I feel like parts of my body are letting the side down.

    My confidence is more in the realm of ability and strength than what I look like.

    ((( <3 ))) sad to hear about the diagnosis. h.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Yes. I do.
    But I am confident because I work very hard at it. I know it's not perfect but I know it's much better than if I didn't work for it.
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
    No. But fake it til you make it.

    I am in a sport which is also a performing art. In a short-skirted freestyle dress, in the centre of that ice, there is absolutely nowhere to hide. So I pretend that I am confident, even as I'm turning into a quaking nervous mess inside. And the judges buy it, the audience buys it, even the skaters and their parents who know me well buy it. So at some point, I started buying it, too.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,142 Member
    zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »
    My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight

    Losing weight won't necessarily make you body confident, you need to work on your mind as well as your body - it's not your weight that is stopping you from doing things it's your head. I am around 230lb and I am still fairly confident about my body, of course there are things I would like to improve but it doesn't stop me dressing the way I want to or from doing things. Your boyfriend likely isn't just saying that to be nice, you're getting irritated with him because of your own insecurities.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Yes I do.
  • BurlzGettingFit
    BurlzGettingFit Posts: 115 Member
    edited May 2017
    zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »
    My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight

    You are nuts, you're gorgeous! And your boyfriend is going to get super tired of that talk real quick- men like confidence!

    And yes, I have confidence in my body! Luckily I've always been pretty confident about who I am and what I look like. Right now I am not the happiest with my weight but I work on things daily, I'm feeling good, and I'm getting back to my normal weight.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
    tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
    zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »
    My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight

    Losing weight won't necessarily make you body confident, you need to work on your mind as well as your body - it's not your weight that is stopping you from doing things it's your head. I am around 230lb and I am still fairly confident about my body, of course there are things I would like to improve but it doesn't stop me dressing the way I want to or from doing things. Your boyfriend likely isn't just saying that to be nice, you're getting irritated with him because of your own insecurities.

    This!

    If you feel this badly about yourself it won't get better no matter how skinny you are. It's funny, I can look back at pictures when I was body building and I am SO LEAN. And I thought I was SO FAT. I can remember how insecure and unhappy I was. I felt like you, didn't believe my boyfriends compliments, wouldn't wear certain clothes etc. I can see now how ridiculous it was, it's just perspective.

    I can tell you from seeing your picture that you are very attractive, but that won't matter because you don't see it. Work on liking yourself. Wear the clothes even if you think you're too fat. Get over it. Keep doing your hair and makeup, workout, get some skills and hobbies not related to your looks. Go out and own that *kitten*. Have good sex with the lights on. Believe your boyfriend. It's lame, but it comes from within. I promise losing weight won't magically change this mindset.
  • crazyycatladyy1
    crazyycatladyy1 Posts: 156 Member
    edited May 2017
    Yep. I also had confidence/liked my body when I was 50lbs heavier too.

    Op-many people think something magical will happen when they hit their goals weight, and have too high of expectations of what weight loss will actually do. If you're not happy/confident now most likely you won't be happy/confident when you're 125lbs-130lbs. You'll just find something else to not like about yourself and continue the vicious cycle. Work on changing your attitude and outlook now and that will go a long way towards being happier with yourself regardless of what you weigh.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    I have confidence in what my body can do. But not so much about the way I look. I've lost 70# and as a result am very flabby with some droopy "bags" on my arms, stomach, outer thighs and inner knees. Feel great in jeans and a long sleeve tee, but dread having to be in front of people in a bathing suit. I continue to try and lose very slowly and lift weights to firm up.
  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
    Nope. I don't like my body. I'm too fat still, my *kitten* looks like cottage cheese, I still have hella stretch marks, and an ugly c-section pouch. I'm hoping to feel better at goal but I doubt it since I don't like me much at all.
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    To quote Ronda Rousey, "there isn't a muscle in my body that isn't developed for a purpose". My body has been through injuries & trauma and fights autoimmune disorders daily. It has held up to weight lifting for 15 years, played sports, and runs four times a week. I may not have always been the slimmest or the prettiest person in the room, but I have utmost confidence in what my body (and mind) can do based on training and past experiences.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited May 2017
    Yeah it's ok. I want to lose a little bit of weight but overall I think I look pretty good. I have a stomach pooch but oh well.
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
    To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    brookielaw wrote: »
    To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.

    I LOVE your attitude. Congrats on your Tri.
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