Lost

I too stopped going to have each evening with my boyfriend.
Now I get up at 4am to make it still possible (:

Edited to correct the plural "boyfriends". I...only have one.

What about sacrificing a little sleep to get up earlier and hit the gym before work?

Motivation is a fickle beast, but powering through the first couple weeks and building the habit makes a world of difference.

Keep in mind that this is something you'll want to be able to sustain for FREAKING EVER. With that in mind, I find it helps me to make small, incremental changes, because it's easier to stick with them. It's really, really, REALLY hard for me to form habits.

Maybe start out by going for a 15-20 minute walk around the neighborhood with the wife in the evenings after dinner. Ask your wife if she'd be willing to count reps when you do body-weight exercises. I've found that having my husband cheer me on makes it slightly less of a chore for me

You guys don't have to do the same workout, just walking in the door together gets you there.

JBerg04 wrote: »

Alright, here we go.

My name is Jason, I'm 30 years old, I stand 5'9" tall, I weigh 229 pounds and I need help.

A little bit about me:

I am married with my first child on the way. I work a desk job that takes 45-50 hours a week out of my life and I have a 45 minute commute each way to/from work. When I was younger I was an avid weight room junkie and put on a significant amount of muscle through high school and college. When college progressed my time spent working out dropped but I kept eating like I was before. I graduated college and worked at a desk job. Things caught up with me. I ballooned up to 245 pounds. I decided I wasn't happy with myself and was finally going to face the music and do something about it. I joined MFP and I lost 45 pounds. I got down to 200. First time in my life that I had successfully lost weight. I've always had a decent build from all of the time I put in at the gym and at 200 I was incredibly happy with the scale but not with how I looked (mostly due to the fact that dropping the 45 pounds was a result of portion control and counting calories and not working out). I moved and took a new job and started working out regularly. I gained 9-10 pounds or so but was totally okay with this as my build and shape was much more in line with what I wanted. I was finally happy with how I looked.

Fast forward and I moved again and took a new job (my current job). I planned a wedding and got married. I stopped working out due to trying to focus on being home after work to have dinner and spend my evenings with my wife. I have gained 20 pounds to bring me to my current weight of 229 pounds. I want to lose this weight and keep it off for good. But I'm scared of failure, I don't really have a good support group and my situation for working out is in shambles. I want to lift at a gym but I don't know how to fit it into my schedule. I want to track my food but I keep losing motivation. How do I succeed? What am I missing? I would love, more than anything, to be less than 200 pounds again. I have my first child on the way. I want to be healthy so they will have a father figure who will always be around for them.

I'm at your mercy. Ask any questions you need. I'm desperate for a solution that works.

-Jason

What do you have around your work? What is your lunch schedule there? I work an office job as well 40+ hours a week as well. I know you and I are not looking for the same type of loss, but sitting at this DAMN DESK I have lost 30 lbs in 3 months.

I eat my lunch at my desk (if this is ok for you) and I take my 1 hour lunch and I go the gym. There happens to be one in the building I work at, so yes this works out nicely for me, but if there is one in the general area where you work I would suggest it then. One of my co-workers does that, he goes to a gym near by and lifts there (as the work gym only has dumbells and a bowflex machine).

You definitely need to get your wife on board. Or at least aware of your goals and that you really want to try. My husband isn't losing weight or even trying right now, but he knows I am busting my *kitten* to do so. He understands when I go outside, maybe, one day a week and I will walk/jog up and down my driveway just to get my cardio in if I miss it, or if I take 30 min to do a workout video. I know family life is VERY important, but you also need to take care of YOU. I have learned that recently (I am the caregiver, and take care of everyone else first) and I am happier for it.

There are 24 hours in a day. Do your math...even if you can only get 20 min in DO IT and MAKE IT COUNT! It is better than NOTHING AT ALL!

Yanno, if I was married, I would do everything possible to allow my hubby to hit the gym. I say that, because I am a bit of a gym rat myself and I totally understand the desire to stay strong and healthy. How long until the baby is due? I would tell the wife that getting back in shape is a *must* for you, and if she can give you 3 nights a week, it would benefit you both. It's a shame she cannot get her mind into the fitness thing though. It would be very beneficial for her to get into that mindset now, before the baby is born. I belong to a gym that has a childcare center, and believe me I made use of it when my son was little. Does she have any friends that enjoy working out?

JBerg04 wrote: »

My wife is not someone I can go to the gym with. I am content to spend an hour to an hour and a half lifting weights if I go. She wants to get in and get out and wants to leave after half an hour. I can't do what I want to do in half an hour. So I am forced to cut my workout short, even if we're not doing the same things. That doesn't help fix my problem unfortunately =(

I think I am going to try and look at waking up earlier and trying to get into a routine where I go work out before work. The gym I can use has showers so that won't be a problem. The biggest challenge I'm looking at if I do this is motivation and sticking with it. How do you guys/gals keep getting up at 4am?

I am NOT selling anything (I know there are a lot of trolls out there that will look for posts like this and try to force stuff down your throat) HOWEVER, that said....Beachbody has Body Beast. It is a workout program for lifting weights and bulking (AT HOME!!) and the workouts are 30 min, comes with a food plan to guide you and all that jazz.

Its a suggestion, you can even look into things like it. But 30 min out of your day instead of 1.5 hours is a HUGE difference.

I've found that you have to find something you enjoy doing to keep doing it. I've tried early morning routines and while it's OK for every now and then, regularly doesn't do it for me. I'm not a morning person. I felt guilty when I used to go to the gym in the evenings as I wasn't spending time with my hubby, but he understood it was something I needed to do for me and was supportive. I now have kids and don't work full-time so can luckily fit the gym into the day.

Good advice above. including rebounding, small footprint in the house and good stuff. Also, have you consider things other than weights and gym. Things that maybe your wife would like. Maybe swimming? Hiking?

I have a radical suggestion, look for a long-term solution to help your schedule. Find a different job or move closer to the office. I know that sounds drastic but I'm serious. I know it's not always possible but I do my best to have a job (and build the skills and network that support it) that allows me to balance my other priorities, including my health. I live closer to work because for me a hour commute really impacts my quality of life.

Or maybe there are options within your current company. Can you consider working from home a couple times a week? That way you'd gain the commute time back.

I'm not saying don't take the advice above and definitely do what you can with that you have but also maybe consider a longer term strategy to build an environment that allows better balance.

I think you need to focus more on diet and less on working out. I would try to accurately record what you are eating for a couple of days. Then find a way to cut out 500 calories a day.

For me I found I was having lots of goodies (a croissant here, a cookie there) - cut things like that out. Plus alcohol, instead of a glass or two every night I'm a cut back to about 3 times a week. Pizza - instead of ordering once a week, now its once a month.

Working out is great obviously, but the real calorie savings come from eating fewer calories.

Also do you a have a lunch hour? Could you go for a brisk walk?

Congratulations on the baby btw!

From everything you have described, my guess is your best option is going to be the early wake-up and a gym membership. I only live a half mile from work so drive time is not an issue, but my job does eat 45-50 hours a week of my time. I found that when I was home after work my family needed my attention, and that was usually to eat/cook dinner, grocery shop, deal with kid issues, spend time with wife, etc. etc. My wife as well does not work out so evenings were full of "are you done yet? We're hungry!" type of situations. I was rushed, or had to skip workouts all together. So, I started getting up at 4:45 in the morning and starting my 90 minute workout by 5:30 at the latest. I get it done and nobody bothers me. However, the drawback is I need to sleep by 10pm at the latest each night that I get up that early.

Since I work out 5 days a week, I made sure my rest days were during the week. That's two work days I don't have to get up that early and can catch up on an extra hour or so of sleep. The weekends are open for me usually so even if I don't get my workout done in the early morning, I can sleep in then do it, or do it any time during the day when time permits. I no longer have kids at home, but it seems like you're soon going to have a new baby. Trust me, work out early while you can, and be prepared to do shorter workouts because sleep is not going to be your friend once the baby arrives for at least a year. You can reach your weight goals with calorie restriction, and that you can do with sheer willpower. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're going to have to take every opportunity you can to work on building and maintaining muscle and there may not be much time for it in the near future.

Free weights are an option, and they don't take up much space. Bowflex, and others, make a free-weight set that takes up very little space, and the weight is selectable (Select-Tech). They also have a somewhat compact bench and I'm sure some others do as well. My free weights (standard ones) sit in the corner of a spare room because there's no room for my weight bench which is in the garage covered by a bunch of other crap. I grab them from time to time and will use them while watching TV. You do what you have to do. I do mostly bodyweight anyway, and that takes very little room as well. It may be a good idea to consider simple caloric restriction, some cardio early in the morning (running/jogging/walking), and body weight exercise to build/maintain muscle. You wouldn't even need a gym membership for that. I do Circuit Training that is 100% body weight exercise. I'll never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger but never wanted to anyway.

Didn't read this all so someone may have suggested it but get one of those door gyms. They are elastic ropes and have a decent amount of resistance, enough to get you by in between real gym visits. A friend have me a body by Jake one years ago and I love it. Takes up zero space and you can do it randomly at times.

llaurenmarie wrote: »

I too stopped going to have each evening with my boyfriend.
Now I get up at 4am to make it still possible (:

Edited to correct the plural "boyfriends". I...only have one.

You're no fun.

OP, I applaud your ambition, but you already know what to do. Do it.
You've already received excellent recommendations of the stuff to consider buying and using. Do and do.