Moved two years ago, no friends, gaining weight

Do you go to church or the gym or have you tried meetup.com? I'm not sure what part Texas you are at but I found this.

https://www.meetup.com/topics/austin/

Hi I also moved about 2 years ago (work, Masters course in medicinal chemistry and relationship) and I can totally relate to what you're going through! Lost my social circle, gained weight and felt isolated.. It's getting better, made some acquaintances (wouldn't say close friends yet but getting there!). I took on an internship a while back (not related to my field of studies) that helped me to get out and I also tried to get more active (which was/is bloody hard!). I also learned to appreciate my free time as me time rather than running to meet one friend after another - I think this was the hardest part.

Add me if you wanna chat and support each other!

Hang in there. My friend was a professor who moved from Colorado to north Dallas burbs. She too was agnostic/liberal, and 8 years later she seems to have found her groove and made friends out there. I think she used Meetup too.

Feel free to add me (I'm a Californian, still in California). Also, I invite you to join our motivational group of mostly women in their late 30s-50s:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/120445-mindfulness-nerds

We're pretty chatty and focus on more of the psychological aspects of weight loss. Give the a try, and good luck with everything!

I concur it's hard to make friends when you're an adult! Like you I moved for work several years back, and my job had a small staff so no instant friends there. I started going to church but the ones I liked weren't necessarily in my neighborhood, so it made it difficult to get out there to interact during the week due to traffic; so I wasn't really building any relationships only going to a large service once a week.

I had used meetup when I moved back home after graduate school to meet new people (and some of those ppl are some of my best friends now...even though I've since moved away) so I tried that again here. And while I didn't meet like my bestie or anything, it's a great way to meet new people and to learn about a new place. I definitely met a solid group of people that I can at least get out of my house and do stuff with. So definitely give Meetup a try!

Also since getting back into shape is your thing, maybe try joining a fitness group.

kikkipoo wrote: »

It's been almost 2 years since I moved from California to Texas for work, and I have begun to feel quite alienated and depressed not having a social circle. Since the move I have easily packed on 40 pounds and can feel myself becoming more depressed and reclusive. I tried to find like minded folks on facebook but that just turned into a circle of local people who network online but don't actually interact in the real world. I know right now I just need to focus on getting my health back under control and eating right, but I was curious if there was anyone out there who went through similar and found a way out of it. Moving back is not an option. Making friends as an adult is hard as all heck.

Texas is a big place. I'm in Lewisville, Denton County. Where are you?

kikkipoo wrote: »

I don't go to church. I'm agnostic and liberal. That's the probably my biggest setback in meeting people in the most conservative bible belt of America. I live in the Dallas area.

I understand that because you are not a church goer you will not meet people in church. However, I don't understand why being liberal is a barrier. I am a conservative, and had no problems making friends in liberal New York City and two other major liberal east coast cities. As long as you are tolerant, there is no reason you can't have friends who don't share your political opinions. Frankly, some of the great discussions I have had have been with liberal friends.

And now I live in a red state (nice change after being in the minority so long! LOL!)...and I STILL have a mixed group of local friends...some conservative like me, some very liberal. We all get along and enjoy each other's company. You need to be open minded if you want to meet new people...nobody is going to be exactly like you. Don't judge before you even meet somebody.

Totally relate to ur post (I'm in v rural part of U.K. right now and v different from my life before). No great advice! Just saying hi and glad u posted thread.

making friends as an adult is certainly HARD. But think about how and why you made friends as a child. You were thrown together at school, and maybe met friends from a variety of social backgrounds.

I moved to a city in the West of the UK fifteen years ago for work. There's no opportunity to make friends with my work colleagues (small company), and it took me a while, but I joined clubs. First I joined a dive club and then started swing dancing as a hobby. I don't think even now I have any friends OUTSIDE those two groups.

You have to really put yourself out there and it IS difficult - I think you have to keep trying different things - Meetup is probably a really good way to find people in your area. Finding something active to do might also help with the weightloss (even joining a slimming club?)

I agree with the comment above about you being a liberal in a conservative area shouldn't affect things - personally i think it GOOD to have friends with differing beliefs. I can still tolerate being in the same room as a friend who voted for Brexit as despite our disagreement on that, we have other common ground that keeps us friends.

Is there a local recreational league? Maybe you could join a team of dodge ball (this is what I play - it's not very intense exercise which is why I like it), soccer, or ultimate frisbee or something. The leagues will often take all the one-off players and form a team or two out of them.

If you like reading, perhaps a local book club?

To meet people, you could also try some classes at the gym. Push yourself to say hi to a couple of people while you wait for it start.
Some of the ladies from my Zumba classes are a great source of encouragement and fun.

I think that we all go through points and moves in our life where we don't have a huge friend/family circle. Every time I've been through it I put on the pounds.

This last time I decided that I wasn't going to do that. I joined a gym and went there for me and only me to workout like a maniac to distract myself. It took four months of those people seeing me every single day for someone to chat with me but I didn't mind because I was killing it and gaining so much confidence. So minus today when I thought I was being "checked out" and getting home to find I look like a complete circus clown from my gallons of sweat and non waterproof mascara...I find it easier to meet people.

Take this time of "lack of noise" to build you into a stronger you. Everything will fall into place.

Friend me if you'd like.

I hear you, it is hard meeting friends as an adult. Especially when work and kids take up a lot of your time. I'm trying classes to get out there. I live near my hometown so my good friends are all around here, I can't imagine the difficulty of relocating where you don't know anybody.

Here's a possible meet-up, in Allen, TX: https://www.meetup.com/Allen-Tai-Chi-for-Wellness/

In Denton: https://www.meetup.com/Walking-Socializing/

In Frisco: https://www.meetup.com/FREE-DanceFit-Workouts-Zumba/

These are just a start...and go fig, nothing in Melissa itself...sorry 'bout that.

I was stationed in San Antonio many moons ago, but enjoyed visiting DFW (except for the crazy traffic.) I joined a meet-up group in my current city and made *awesome friends* but it is along the nerd/geek line; however, eventually, I hope to join some outdoorsy meet-ups. Being in a college town, it's pretty easy to find liberal/liberal-leaning people, so maybe you can find some resources via the colleges/universities. Be brave...you can do it!!

If anyone wants some trans friends, feel free to add me

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