Bingeing vicious cycle.. I feel like a failure

Tashlovesfood · May 2017

I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.

Dabbadooey · May 2017

All I can offer is sympathy. I suffer greatly from it.

Triplestep · May 2017

Good for you for resisting last night.

I'm a stress eater, and have been known to self-sooth with food (especially chocolate). Who knows why I do it? On some level, I'm not even sure I care - I just know there are times I have been able to overcome the urge, so I focus on what is happening at those times.

As simple as it seems, I do better when I log consistently, exercise, and weigh myself every day. (I weigh daily to see the fluctuations - not because I expect to see great losses every day.) Knowing I'll have to see those calories in my diary, knowing I'll be undoing whatever small calorie burn I've been able to achieve, and knowing I won't see the scale move, all contribute to staving off a binge. As my husband says: Success breeds success. The longer you stay on track, the easier it will become. You'll have more invested in not backsliding.

I'm not sure this would work for everyone, but it's worth trying!

Rusty740 · May 2017

Sounds like you need to give yourself a break

We all have setbacks and we just need to stay in the game. I imagine that eating is a stress relief for you like it is for many of us. First things first, your future husband will still marry you just the way you are. Getting stressed about eating is making you more stressed and you want food to eat to help manage that stress! urgh

I hate to say this because I hate this type of thing, but it sounds like you need to try to "think more happy thoughts".

There are a few other strategies you could try. One is, when you feel you really want to binge, make a healthy, filling snack like some brown rice and eat it. Then after you've eaten it, if you still want to binge, go ahead. Have some water with that rice too

You could try eating more protein earlier in the day. It's a fact that increased protein increases satiety and reduces overall calories. I've found this helped more than I thought it would. Eggs for breakfast

Another thing that you could try longer term is skipping breakfast. Eat the same amount of calories as you normally would, but pick times during the day that you just won't eat. Water and black coffee are fine. I've found that it is much easier to not eat food if it's 'just not time to eat' that way you can't get into the habit of having a little bit more than you should, because it's very black and white, eat or don't eat.

If you haven't already, do you best to not bring binge items into your house at all except when planned. This will make you go to extra effort to go out of the house to get them.

You can do this

nobody said it would be easy, but it's worth it.

Fataf99 · May 2017

id go with rusty on the more protien, I binge when im not eating enough.

When you feel the need to binge drink 750ml of water sit for 5 mins and see if that helps.

eyer0ll · May 2017

No advice, just empathy. And you're not a failure -- because you haven't given up. You are sticking it out and doing your best. There is so much more to people than just their weight or physical appearance.

debtay123 · May 2017

You are definitely NOT a failure- YOU see the problem and you are seeking solutions to it- There is a lot of sound advice- just take it one day at a time- if need be- one hour at a time- and even if you do binge eat- get back up and start right back on your eating plan THE NEXT MEAL- you can do this!!!!

allyphoe · May 2017

More protein, a very moderate deficit (like 250 calories a day), and fewer consecutive days off exercise. More protein helps if I'm having cravings over a span of days. Data analysis says I'm most likely to overeat on a no-exercise day following 5 or more consecutive days of exercise. Moderate deficit in general makes me less likely to binge.

nutmegoreo · May 2017

How many calories are you aiming for in a day? And can you explain what you are calling binging? Are you meaning it as in, you cave and have a chocolate bar and feel guilty about it, or do you mean you eat uncontrollably until you feel sick.

lizzienarwhal · May 2017

I am exactly the same, I do great for a couple of days then I can't fight the binge and just give in x

xchocolategirl · May 2017

If you're not seeing a health professional about this I would recommend doing so. If you already see a health professional about this I would recommend making another appointment and speaking with them about this. Good luck!!

kshama2001 · May 2017

Tashlovesfood wrote: »

I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.

Sentences like "I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it" usually means that someone was under-eating, which can definitely trigger a binge.

What's your weekly weight loss goal set to? I wonder if you are trying to lose too much too fast. Why don't you aim for losing a pound per week, and see if that gets you off the restrict/binge roller coaster. This may not sound like a lot, but in a year it's 50 pounds.

Ask your therapist if you can do some cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) right now to immediately improve your relationship with food. I had YEARS of therapy but what was really helpful was just a few CBT focused meetings.

When I do the following, I don't have cravings:

1. Get sufficient sleep
2. Exercise regularly - when I get the happy hormones from exercise, I'm not prone to seeking them from food.
3. Get sufficient protein in relationship to carbs. I'm not low carb, but reducing carbs and upping protein worked for cravings for me. See also http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
4. Eat moderate amounts of fruit. This makes me less interested in higher calorie sweets.
5. Take a magnesium supplement. This can be especially helpful for women premenstrually.
6. Save foods like chocolate for after dinner, in small amounts
7. Stay hydrated
8. Have a calorie deficit that is appropriate for the amount of weight I need to lose. An overly aggressive goal can definitely lead to cravings.
9. Eat at maintenance when my appetite goes up premenstrually.

Tashlovesfood · May 2017

Thanks for your advice everyone. It's nice to know that I have support on here. For those asking I'm aiming to lose 1.5 pounds a week. But to be honest I keep going down to a certain point and then back up again because I binge and ruin everything. And when I say binge I mean I have had- probably around 500 calories worth of potato chips, around 3 ice cream bars of about 200 calories each and a kitkat bar. So around 1300 calories of junk

JeromeBarry1 · May 2017

OP, do you ever plan to have a single small piece of chocolate and do so successfully? Or, is the first taste always a binge trigger?

Frankly, the best thing for you may well be to change your weight loss target to 0.5 lb per week and have a Hershey Kiss every stinking day until you get sick of it.

CynthiasChoice · May 2017

I'm a recovering binger myself. Here's a copy of something I posted on someone else's thread:

"It's important to learn how to recognize what triggers you to overeat. Is it stress? A celebration? A way to reward yourself for doing something difficult? Or maybe boredom? Did something happen that made you feel bad about yourself? Do you eat more around a certain person? Try to figure out what was different about this week. Write down some of your thoughts so you can refer back to it later. Keep adding insights to your journal on a regular basis. Just remember your "why" can't be "because it tasted good." The first two or three bites of something are the best, then the sensation diminishes and we continue eating for another reason.

What you discover about your own personal "whys" of overeating will be profoundly important to you ALL your life, not just during this diet. Once you can look your "why" in the face, you can begin developing strategies to remain confidently in control of what you eat.

I've adopted many different strategies for all my many "whys" and I'm working on them continually. For me, it's not enough to just hope or trust that my future self will be this ideal person who will never get fat again. I have to practice now what I want my future self to be accomplished with. Doing that gives me real hope, not that slippery fantasy-hope feeling that's shadowed with doubt."

I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

CynthiasChoice · May 2017

I found another one of my posts, along the same line, from different thread:

"Try to note all the times you can remember binging when you weren't hungry. Who were you with, what time of day, what kind of place, what was the occasion, what you were wearing and so forth. How did you feel about the people you were with? Before you began eating, were you feeling shy, annoyed, happy, anxious, relieved? Did you feel like you were connecting with the other people there, or were you focused on the food instead of the people? The more you can realize about yourself the better.

Once you figure out: "I'm a celebratory eater" or "I'm a social anxiety eater" or "I'm a rebellious eater" or whatever, then you can make a plan to overcome it.

Personally, when I feel tempted to overeat in a social setting, I have to excuse myself, go somewhere quiet and do some deep breathing. I say things to myself like, "This is not your last opportunity to eat chips." or "You're here to connect with people not food." "What you do right now matters." "You are calm, strong and in control." etc... Figure out your own mottos or mantras and actually use them when the pressure is on. Start a journal where you write down how you avoided binges, or what you learned about yourself when you didn't avoid one.

On the other hand, instead of being emotionally/socially driven, your binging could be biologically driven. If you are sensitive to blood sugar spikes and drops, you can suffer from more temptation than the average person. Lots of people find that when they lower their carb intake, they crave less, and when they stop eating sweets, breads and pasta, they naturally stop binging. This goes against the conventional wisdom that says "don't restrict too much or you will feel deprived and binge." You may want to experiment with low carb to see if this way of eating will help you avoid binging."

Finally, lack of sleep, insufficient protein and poor hydration can lead to monstrous cravings Take good care of yourself by going to bed at a reasonable hour and eating at least 20 grams of protein for breakfast and drinking at least 16 fluid ounces early in the day.

Oh, and another "finally"! Learn to recognize that binging is a reaction to stress. While it's great to get to the bottom of what is stressing you out, that could take years! In the meantime, try one of the many apps that guide you through mindfulness meditation. I use "Calm" and it only takes five minutes. It can take me from a feeling of panic and wild hunger pangs to serenity and zero hunger in no time at all.

Best of luck to you!

PAV8888 · May 2017

Reduce your deficit.

Stop thinking of going over goal as a ruined day which you might as well compound with more stuff now that it's ruined already.

Stop thinking of food as "virtuous" and "junk".

A 1300 Cal unplanned overage (technically 550 Cal overage since you have a 750 deficit), is not enough to offset a 4500 Cal deficit (6x750). So more than one issue is going on here.

How long have you been at a deficit? Have you taken a break at all?

@kshama2001 has some great ideas up-thread! So does Cynthia.

nowine4me · May 2017

Great advice here already. I too binge about once a week, especially if I'm set at anything below 1# a week (or 1700). I can't stress the importance of sleep and hydration.

amtyrell · May 2017

Work some chocolate into your eating plan.

nutmegoreo · May 2017

Tashlovesfood wrote: »

Thanks for your advice everyone. It's nice to know that I have support on here. For those asking I'm aiming to lose 1.5 pounds a week. But to be honest I keep going down to a certain point and then back up again because I binge and ruin everything. And when I say binge I mean I have had- probably around 500 calories worth of potato chips, around 3 ice cream bars of about 200 calories each and a kitkat bar. So around 1300 calories of junk

Do you tell yourself you aren't allowed to eat those things, then feel like a failure when you have them? This sounds like an all too familiar cycle to me. What I did (try it, or don't, you need to find what works for you):

1) stop thinking of foods as good and bad (this was a challenging mindset to change)

2) no foods were off limits (this really helped in reducing the guilt and shame)

3) get the temptation foods that I have little control over out of the house (reducing the risk of eating a whole bucket of ice cream in 2-3 days)

4) purchase treats in a single serving only

5) increase the calorie intake to a level that allowed for a treat and still allowed for weight loss (for me, this is around 1600)

6) every once in a while bring home a couple single servings to test if I could have extra around and not overindulge (this took a while, but it also taught me to let go of the days I went over, eventually I was able to bring in a tub of ice cream and only eat a single serving each day)

This was by no means a quick and easy process, but my relationship with food has greatly improved.

Tashlovesfood · May 2017

Thanks everyone. I definitely allow myself some sort of dessert every day but the problem is stopping after one portion... some days I can stop and some days I can't. That's the problem, but I also know that cutting it out completely won't work because I WILL cave at some point around 3-4 weeks in and eat ALL the chocolate! Lol. I guess I just need to learn to have more self control but as much as I want to lose weight, and I do want to, so so badly, in the moment it's an impulse that I just can't control...

Sarahb29 · May 2017

Find out when you're bingeing and work your days/weeks around it. My weakness is at night, I love to eat once I'm home. You can do anything from:

Intermittent fasting - you don't eat breakfast, so you have more to eat late at night. Calories wise it's the same. I have a bigger dinner and then eat a mug cake and halo top ice cream around 8pm when I'm feeling snacky.

24hr fast - One big meal at the end of the day.

Finding a snack replacement like plain popcorn popped with coconut oil and sprinkled with salt, parsnip chips, kale chips, pickles, cucumbers, etc.

And the biggest tip I used when I first started out was DON'T KEEP IT IN THE HOUSE. If you have a Mc Donalds weakness like I do, don't bring it home. Don't pick up chips when you grocery shop. Stay away from anything like "Nature Valley" and high sugar granola bars. Skip cereal and have an omlette or a quiche.

brznhabits · May 2017

Loss of 1.5 lbs is too aggressive until you build better habits. Decrease your deficit.

Self control? Somewhat but mostly you need skills and you've got to learn new ones and practice them. Anticipate triggers and look to proactively avoid them. Have a cache of things you need when you do trigger so you can regroup as much as possible. Focus on better not perfect.

fizzfizz · June 2017

Totally sympathise, am there all too often Tashlovesfood! Thanks for posting, I've loved reading the tips on here ... what seems to work for me to get back on track is eating a non-sweet breakfast (e.g. porridge with nuts & salt) and a huge lunch (stuffed with salad or veg) ... calories stay low overall that way and being full till early evening helps staying away from really more'ish sugary, fatty snacks like cookies and cakes in the daytime, which then helps me manage my evening cravings better as they are the worst for me ... somehow if I am not physically hungry I can stay on savoury stuff, and not go hunting down supermarket sweet treats, a bit more easily.

150poundsofme · June 2017

I have a binge eating disorder for over 45 years. Hugs

Bingeing vicious cycle.. I feel like a failure

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