Weight loss vs. life quality

HM2206
HM2206 Posts: 174 Member
So I am now in the category of losing the "vanity pounds" - in particular those extra bits as I am a pear shaped lady.
And as predicted it gets harder. I have a sedentary job (and can add am not a naturally 'active' person either), which means my TDEE is around 1770. I have set my target to 1600 for a very slow loss, but even that is hard.

I find that for the vanity pounds you simply have to work out a lot, which I have. But even though I added a workout yesterday and ate healthy throughout the day, I found myself going over when I was meeting my sister for a glass of wine. And the margins are so, so small at this point.

It's getting harder to the point where I find myself having to avoid social stuff, and am irritated - and this is even though I eat plenty of protein, and veggies. I am not underweight either.

How do some girls stay so fit / thin? I don't get it. My sister eats larger and fewer meals, but I can't go as long without food as she does.

Perhaps my workouts aren't effective enough. I have heard that if you build more muscle, you will burn more through a workout. How big a difference will there be? I do strength training to get more muscles as well.
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Replies

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,755 Member
    I struggle with this a lot. Balancing my physique goals with enjoying life is difficult,and often sways more towards my physique goals. I have to be careful that it doesn't take over, and that I realise sometimes being spontaneous and not needing to lose weight every week is important.

    There is more to me than how I look, and I need to remember that. Health is more than what I eat and how I look, and a number on the scale or a bf%.

    Having muscle will increase your energy needs, but growing muscle takes time, and excess calories....
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!
  • HM2206
    HM2206 Posts: 174 Member
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!

    I often want to move more during the day, but I have an office job so there is a limit to how much I get to move around.

    How many steps a day does one have to make to get into the "lightly active" section?
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,450 Member
    edited June 2017
    HM2206 wrote: »
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!

    I often want to move more during the day, but I have an office job so there is a limit to how much I get to move around.

    How many steps a day does one have to make to get into the "lightly active" section?

    For me, it takes about 10k steps (5'2", 108-114 lbs). Perhaps you can schedule a one hour walk as soon as you wake up and then some time after work?
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 339 Member
    Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.

    That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.

    But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.

  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,659 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.

    That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.

    But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.

    There are plenty of obese people who aren't really into food. But they still manage to eat in excess.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
    edited June 2017
    I think we all have to find our happy place where we can enjoy the foods we love and exercise consistently.
    I could probably do with losing 7lbs more for vanity's sake but I'm not prepared to put more work in that I already do. I'm happy (enough) eating 1800 cals a day, doing approx 40 mins of exercise a day.
    6 months ago I was able to maintain on 2200 cals a day but I was working out 90 mins minimum a day. Moving more so I could eat more was my main focus. Then I started having joint issues, I knew my body was protesting about the wear and tear I had been putting it through for 4 years. I had to think long term, I altered how much I worked out and found eating a bit less not too bad - I wasn't as hungry. But am I prepared to go back to eating 1600 calories a day? no. So for me this is my happy medium.
  • Running_and_Coffee
    Running_and_Coffee Posts: 811 Member
    I am someone who has always, always had to work at being thin, but also who has never been overweight. I probably look like I've always been pretty much the same to anyone who isn't completely obsessed with how my jeans are fitting me, but the fact is I am either gaining a little or losing a little and constantly course-correcting as I relax after getting below my "happy weight" or cut back after I relaxed a little TOO much. When I "enjoy life" during vacations, holidays, I know that my future will involve eating less, just having a salad with dressing on the side if I do eat out, not drinking wine, adding an extra workout or two to my week. (I already workout 5-6 days a week--even when not being "careful.")

    This probably sounds neurotic but the alternative for me is being unhappy with my weight.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,964 Member
    You've already said it but I think having an active lifestyle is the key. Find ways to be active in general. It doesn't always have to be going to the gym, you can go for a bike ride, or take a hike, or do yard work, take your dog for walks every day, etc.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 40,875 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    It's basically going to come down to what you want more. People who stay fit and lean WORK HARD at it every day. If that's not something you're willing to do, then you may just have to be happy without losing those vanity pounds.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Pretty much this...I work pretty hard at what I do, and I can pretty much guarantee that while I have a flat stomach and no love handles, I'll never be a six pack havin' guy because I'm not particularly interested in putting forth that level of effort...I have a wife and kids and while I enjoy fitness, I have a life outside of fitness and I enjoy indulgences like sitting around the pool drinking beer with my buddies and my family on the weekend, etc.

    I do know some really lean guys my age who are very fit...6 pack and all that...but fitness is basically their life (as in they basically do it for a living)
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    It's basically going to come down to what you want more. People who stay fit and lean WORK HARD at it every day. If that's not something you're willing to do, then you may just have to be happy without losing those vanity pounds.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    The way you described yourself and your drive(or lack of) sounds similar to my situation. And I agree with above for myself - how bad do I want it?! **I know what needs to be done, I just can't quite get motivated enough to do it and stick with it. ;)

    I am at a point where I just have vanity pounds to lose, I look fit "enough". I've gained a lot of muscle last year and have trimmed down just a bit this year. I've come to a point where I want to enjoy the fattening foods yet would also like to be trimmer. And I have nothing planned where I would be wearing a bikini, so lack of motivation on that end. Yes, my main motivation is the way I look :)

    Good luck and keep going
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,577 Member
    I find that not trying to eat a specific number of calories each day is essential for me. Some days are high calorie and some are low. I just make sure it evens out so that I'm not overeating. I'm hungrier on some days than others to this helps me keep my sanity and stay satisfied. And it's how I ate for the decades that I was thin, so I'm going back to what worked.
  • JohnnyLowCarb
    JohnnyLowCarb Posts: 418 Member
    Sorry to say there is no secret formula, 5 minute exercise or magic diet. The truth is though you have to find the "way of eating" at a caloric deficit that is right for you! I choose a low carb high fat diet. It is right for me (but wont be for others). I have to move (ie. exercise) as much as sometimes I do not want to. Again this is no secret, no magic, easy to say but hard to do.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,379 Member
    Making exercise a habit, something you do without thinking much about it, helps. I have large dog, so we walk him at least twice a day, every day, rain or shine. I run at least an hour 5 days a week, and when I'm not in the mood, I go do it anyway because I know I feel better, both physically and mentally, when I do. My husband likes hiking, so I go out with him (and the dog) at least once a week to spend time with him doing something we both enjoy doing. If the weather is bad and it's a rest day from running, I do other exercise at the same time I usually run to stay in the habit of being active and to burn the calories so I can eat what I want.
  • annacole94
    annacole94 Posts: 997 Member
    Vanity pounds are optional. I have no desire to get down to the low end of my healthy bmi range. I'm cool hanging out around 24. A slightly higher target weight gives me more calories for wine, and is easier to maintain without further large changes to my lifestyle. You do get to decide if you REALLY want to lose more, and you can also decide to maintain for a while and then kick it up later.

    That said, biking to work and walking at lunch are where the calories come from that take my diet from too little to just enough. Plus health is important.