I'm a piece of crap
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@ninka_polish - May I ask how old you are, your height and current weight as well as how much you're looking to lose?3
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Been there and felt the same way. i have failed numerous times. for the first time in years im seeing changes. try making small changes. reaffirm to yourself every day why you want this. If you slip up dont berate yourself, just keep going2
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Add me too! We have all been there. I think what started me back on MFP was hitting rock bottom. I felt depressed and hopeless and I thought either I keep sinking and this is the way my story will end or I can turn the page and create a NEW story! You can do this. Don't be so hard on your self. I'll be glad to help!1
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It does not matter what others think of you.
You are worth it. The simple action of asking for help proves this fact. The act of self improvement does not originate from hate but from love. You wouldn't invest valuable time and energy into something you hate, but you certainly would and do with something you love.
I'm guessing what you are chasing is perfection - which is impossible. Progress is what you want and need and what defines success.
Make small goals. Do this exercise - write down 5 behaviors that contribute to where you are now. Prioritize these 1 through 5. Scratch off 2 through 5. Focus on #1 and identify a behavior to replace this with - something that gets you where you want to be. Once this behavior is ingrained in your routine, then repeat this exercise.
Our brains are not wired to go cold turkey with behaviors - we need to replace these with other activities.2 -
make your next decision a good one.
when you fail (because you will, we all do)
make your next decision after that a good one.
you cannot change the decisions you made 4,886,234,552 decisions ago.
and you cannot predict that your decision even two decisions from now will be good.
but you can do your best to make your very next one a good one.
and after a while, of just making one good decision at a time, it'll be a habit.
and you'll look back happily.
all you have to do is make the next one a good one. just one.
and then another.
its in you. you can do it.6 -
You are a beautiful child of God and a valuable, lovely person! Okay, so you have some weight to lose, but you can totally do that - and there are so many people here on MFP in the same situation. We can work on it together because I have a LOT of weight to lose and everyone on MFP has been so wonderful and encouraging. But the first thing you must do is to NEVER speak about yourself that way, ever again! Would tell your best friend that he or she is a piece of crap? I don't think so, so you should never speak to yourself that way.
My name is Debbie, and I am in your corner! Feel free to contact me. 3 -
You aren't crap. We all get down. I'm depressed right now myself. My guy has lost 19 pounds just by giving up soda and Oreos. I've been seeing a nutritionist for 2 months now and I've gained 5 pounds. I'm tired of being in pain, having my hands go numb, and having a reduced sex life because of my weight.
However, I'm not crap, and neither are you. Take a deep breath, regroup and try again. Every dawn brings a new day and a new chance to start again and get it right.3 -
Most of us have been in your shoes. Great things start with small steps\changes.
I tend to look at your situation like "I got my self into this Mess, I can get my self OUT"
I hate to beat the drum of education but the more you read and learn What to Do, and what little steps you have to take you will be headed down the road to success in no time.
Just remember to always cut your self some slack You did not get this way over night, Your not going to get back to your old lighter self over night either, as much as we all would like that to be true.2 -
So many positive vibes ...
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Yes, people here are amazing. I'm that blue creature from the picture
people share their positivism and confidence and good spirit. I'll use it as a shield read them over an over again every time i feel like I'm worthless because of weight i carry. 2 -
Hi guys, thanks a lot for today. I went out of the house for walk the first time in months or years..I also did day one of food tracker. 43.5kg to lose. Thanks for this community.9
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One day at a time. You've got this! 1
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ninka_polish wrote: »Hi guys, thanks a lot for today. I went out of the house for walk the first time in months or years..I also did day one of food tracker. 43.5kg to lose. Thanks for this community.
Getting out can have a significant impact on your emotional state! That was a great idea.1 -
You are in no way a piece of crap. To be honest with you, when I first read what you were going through I felt you had strength. The fact that you have come to a public forum and expressed how you want to change is actually admirable, and you should be proud of yourself.
As most have mentioned, it's one step at a time, and the biggest step is wanting to change so well done. You can add me also if you wish, this is a great community and very supportive.
First step I would recommend, go for a walk everyday, doesn't have to be far, but it helps to clear your head. Cheers2 -
Please stop putting yourself down. Your family shouldn't slate on your weight at all. To loose weight you need to stay focused the first few weeks are the hardest but once you see a few pounds come off that will keep driving you to succeed. Make it your hobby your life. I've been there and it's flippin hard but it's worth it1
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People on MFP are really supportive. There is so much information, help and advice in these forums you just need to keep going and don't give up. You can do this. Most of us have been in a similar place as you.
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Add me. I would be happy to work out with you.1
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ninka_polish wrote: »What people think of me
*kitten* them!
Today my daughter got to watch her best friend get some swim meet ribbons and she didn't. She was extremly depresses because she had worked hard and had MASSIVE improvement, but because she wasn't 1st, 2nd or 3rd, nobody besides us actually acknowledged it. I had to sit her down and teach her that what others acknowledge, care about or even see has NOTHING to do with what she achieved. Even if she is the only person in the world who cares, she is literally the only one who matters in achieving her goals and gaining progress.
It's the same thing with us. If you are going to worry about how others see you, trying, not trying, achieving or not, then you are indeed putting yourself in a cage. But it has nothing to do with your weight. There is no need for you to be a prisoner in your own home. Just open the *kitten* door and do what you want to. Screw everyone else because most of them don't give a damn anyways.5 -
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No one is a piece of crap because they are finding things though going. You have the support of others on here and I see others have already given excellent advice. It took me years to get to where I am now. But I took every set back (note - not failure - set back!) and tried to learn from it. Ok sometimes I was down on myself, but that's ok, we all have our bad times, but remember they pass. Keep going, you WILL get there eventually just take small steps, set small achievable goals, and you'll do it.2
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It's been Day3 now and I'm still managing:) It's thought but being in touch with people here makes a tremendous difference. I want to send a morning hello message to all my friends but the app won't let me? It said request failed or something. Why can't I send messages to multiple people one after another?2
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You're doing great keep going!1
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ninka_polish wrote: »It's been Day3 now and I'm still managing:) It's thought but being in touch with people here makes a tremendous difference. I want to send a morning hello message to all my friends but the app won't let me? It said request failed or something. Why can't I send messages to multiple people one after another?
it thinks you're posting spam.
if you just say morning on your feed then all your friends can see it...0 -
Sorry Travis*0
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A. If that's how your family treats you, you are right to stay away from them, but only because they are horrible people, not because of any fault of yours.
B. Fat and pretty are not mutually exclusive. I used to think this way. The fact is, you could live a perfectly happy life just the size you are now, especially since you said you are pretty fit. Honestly if I were your big sister, I would encourage you to work on loving and celebrating yourself exactly the way you are right now. You are a beautiful creation and do not need to conform to others' standards. I freaking hate society for making us feel this way.
C. I would honestly advise against going strongly on a weight loss program or plan until you are able to accept you as you. Because you are going to have bad days. Days when you ate the least and exercised all week and frigging gained five pounds! Because your body is going to FIGHT to keep that weight. You will do much better overall if you do not base your self worth on losing weight. Because that can really backfire. You fail to meet your goal. You say *kitten* it and binge eat. You gain a few more pounds. You get depressed and this time mad at yourself because it's your own damn fault. Spiral!
D. Then start a lifestyle change. And if you can't get below a certain point, but you are healthy and fit and your doc says so, you--each person was not meant to wear a size 0 or even a size 9.
E. A perfectly valid answer to someone who gives you *kitten* about your weight is, "*kitten* you, at least I'm not a judgmental *kitten*!"0 -
ninka_polish wrote: »Wow travis from the very beginning you have been hostile to me but this is spiteful. Not it's not a spam. It took me a lot to come and look for support but people like you grudge it and I feel like comment like that cuts my wings:( despite your hostility I'll keep looking for support and I'm making friends in here! You made me feel really sad with that comment I hope it makes you feel good or something.
She wasn't trying to be spiteful, she's referring to the MFP message filter. When you try to send several messages one after the other, the spam filter blocks them, as the program assumes you're sending spam. The forum actually works the same way, I've found that sending multiple replies in a thread in a short amount of time will get me a spam block for a few minutes.
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ninka_polish wrote: »Wow travis from the very beginning you have been hostile to me but this is spiteful. Not it's not a spam. It took me a lot to come and look for support but people like you grudge it and I feel like comment like that cuts my wings:( despite your hostility I'll keep looking for support and I'm making friends in here! You made me feel really sad with that comment I hope it makes you feel good or something.
I don't think he was saying that you ARE posting spam; just that the MFP site interprets multiple identical PMs in a short period of time as though it were spam.2 -
Oh, God sorry then!!!! I thought she meant I was posting spam m. God I'm sorry. I messed up0
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ninka_polish wrote: »Wow travis from the very beginning you have been hostile to me but this is spiteful. Not it's not a spam. It took me a lot to come and look for support but people like you grudge it and I feel like comment like that cuts my wings:( despite your hostility I'll keep looking for support and I'm making friends in here! You made me feel really sad with that comment I hope it makes you feel good or something.
so just out of interest why have you friend requested me and sent me a message asking how i am, before posting this, if you have thought i have always been 'hostile' to you?0 -
Apologies again. I feel like an idiot now. I'll send you apologies travis.0
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