Food as a reward or comfort

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  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    RodaRose wrote: »
    Interesting. I found

    #1 utterly disturbing - the kind of conflicting ideas that just makes my desire stronger. I am not proud for taking care of my body, and I don't think any edible food is unhealthy. I am not an a wagon. But I do use CBT type techniques. I will make an effort to meet my inner critic more often with “Thank you for sharing”, that's great advice.

    #3 also utterly disturbing - I want to have pleasureable associations with my favorite foods, so I will not try to pair them with maggots while I think about them as both delicious and fattening. This is what creates disordered eating.

    #4 I like very much. I will treat myself with kindness. Being kind does not mean stuffing with candy, though.

    #6 I have been discovering this for myself lately. "To thine ownself be true". It is important to be able to trust yourself, to know that what you decide, will happen. It is empowering.

    #7 has improved my quality of life with 3000%. Dealing with temptations is now restricted to the necessary amount, which is doable - the checkout line.

    #8+9 does not compute. But I get it. I am the same person, but I do and think and feel so differently now, that I sometimes feel like a different person.

    #11 is no good. Emotional eating is the opposite of willful eating. You don't weigh the pros and cons of drunk driving either, the whole premise is wrong - your impulse control is temporarily out of service.

    #12 presupposes that this "unhealthy" food provides satisfaction. I used to believe that too; imagine the spark from the lightbulb in my head when I realized that it was the intense anticipation, coupled with fear, worry, judgement and warnings, followed by a rush but no satisfaction, and not being aware of how disappointing the experience really was, that pushed me to keep eating, keep seeking. It also presupposes that binge eating is pleasureable! Binge eating is nothing like Christmas buffet eating, it's a painful compulsive behavior that needs professional treatment as well as hard and dedicated work from the patient.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
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    I always say food is fuel, and not to be treated as a reward. That doesn't mean eating food you hate. Food should be enjoyable for the most part, but using food as a reward or comfort is totally a different story.

    A coworker of mine says "I've had a bad day, I need Thai food". No, you don't. That's using food as comfort. What happens when you have a bad week..month..

    Eating a piece of cake to reward yourself for losing weight that week is counterproductive. You can eat a piece of cake because it fits your calories, not because you deserve it.

    I hate using the phrase "cheat meals", but let's use it for now. Cheat meals are a break from the strong mental control that being on a deficit takes, not a reward. It's like the break after sprinting. It's not a reward, it's a break so you can continue sprinting.

  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    #3 is ridiculous. Instead of spiders on pizza, why not think about a cauliflower crust and a pizza brimming with veggies. No need to demonize food to be successful.

    My reward is this-- when I hit my goal, I buy a new color ($10) band for my Apple Watch. It's something I look at 100 times a day and it's a fun treat to go from blue to green every few months. These are all kinds of fitness goals, like a sub :30 5k since I missed it last time by 2 seconds.

    Whatever works for you, have fun with it.
  • RosslynP
    RosslynP Posts: 8 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Both seeing certain foods as either a "reward" or as something that is "bad" are two sides of the same coin. I think that trying not to attach any judgement to foods is key. For example, if I want chocolate, I'll have some. I'll track it and integrate it into my day's calories, so its not special to me. I try to see it as just another element of a varied diet, not as a particularly good thing (reward) or a bad thing (oops I've blown my diet).

    Calorie counting has been the most helpful way for me to try and change my perspective on food, as everything is permitted - it is moderation that is the key, and unlike most other methodologies, there is no judgment attached to certain foods (e.g. demonising or singling out fat, carbs, sugar). This means I have started to not attach emotional values to food; if want something, I'll have it in moderation and not see it as something I have to work for or "deserve". Its not a simple process, but it gets easier over time!
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
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    I looooooove food, it is definitely pleasure for me. It is not the only source of pleasures off course but for sure one of the top 5. I can enjoy it in limited quantity, quality what matters, similar to clothes and furniture.
    But it took me a while to stop treating food as the source of comfort, solution for boredeness.
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
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    RodaRose wrote: »
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/orion-talmay/conquer-emotional-eating-with-these-12-weird-tricks_b_5471268.html

    Some of these work for me, esp #4 and #5 and #10
    1. Change the story you are telling yourself.
    You are talking to yourself all day long. Not out loud, but inside your head. That little voice never shuts up! It incessantly overanalyzes, self-criticizes, disempowers and misinterprets. If the erroneous story you tell yourself is “I feel deprived when I avoid eating snacks,” then change it to something more empowering like “I’m proud of myself for taking care of my body and saying no to these unhealthy snacks!” Making a conscious choice to change the story you tell yourself will change your brain’s interpretation of the situation and induce positive emotions. It sure beats the flood of negative emotions that the old story would have induced. This takes practice, so don’t give up when you slip back into the negative self-talk! Simply jump back on the wagon. For those of you into psychology, you may be already familiar with this re-framing technique as cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT.

    And if you still hear your inner critic calling you “fat” or ridiculing you for your appearance, then try this exercise: First, tell your inner critic, “Thank you for sharing,” and then close your eyes and imagine a more pleasant sounding inner voice saying something positive and empowering. Repeat as necessary until you no longer hear that negative self-talk. Essentially, you are wrestling control away from the unpleasant inner critic who isn’t even you.

    2. Change your reward system.
    Disconnect food from your reward system, and start rewarding yourself with other fulfilling activities. For example: go for a walk, buy something on your wish list or treat yourself to a massage or bubble bath.

    3. Changing your mind is key to changing your body.
    Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful system for reprogramming your mind. Try out this NLP exercise for breaking the pleasurable associations you have with your favorite snacks: First, close your eyes. Think of a favorite food that you are trying to avoid. Perhaps you cannot stop bingeing on pizza, for example? Now, think about something that disgusts you. Let’s say you are grossed out by spiders and cockroaches. Now envision that delicious pizza that you love so much, with spiders and roaches crawling out of the steamy melted cheese. The more real, big and vivid you make this “video” in your minds eye, the harder it will be to desire that fattening pizza that you used to crave so much.

    4. Treat yourself as you would an adored little child.
    We wouldn’t dream of treating a stranger, let alone an adored child, as harshly as we treat ourselves sometimes. Have you ever berated yourself over something silly? Said unkind things to yourself that made you feel worthless? For the love of all things holy, please treat your self with love, respect and kindness! Make it your mission to protect your emotional being. Feeling safe, strong and protected dissolves emotional eating.

    5. Create little success habits.
    Develop new empowering habits such as exercising at a regular time or writing down your small successes as you achieve them. This will trigger your brain to release endorphins, which will, in turn, get you addicted to exercising and staying healthy.

    6. Keep your commitment to yourself
    You are training yourself to follow through, to keep your promises to yourself, to accomplish the goals that will lead to a healthier you. When you get used to keeping your promises to yourself, you become self-motivated, driven from the inside.

    7. Don’t keep junk around
    Life is easier with fewer temptations around. Did you know that willpower is a finite resource, and that it depletes over the course of the day? Keeping a jar of cookies around wastes valuable willpower that could be used instead to work on major life goals. Don’t just put the cookies out of view, because your brain knows they are still within easy reach. Instead, get rid of the cookies altogether - as in throw them in the trash! You will save so much willpower. Rather than deprive yourself of snacks altogether, you can stock your fridge and pantry with healthy options (mini carrots, anyone?).

    8. Create a new identity
    Create an alter ego or an avatar, a new 2.0 version of yourself with the traits of the person you want to become. Visualize that new strong, happy, and secure version of yourself easily managing various emotions without running to the fridge. Adopting a new, healthier, more empowered identity can alter any number of troublesome behaviors, not just overeating.

    9. Reduce stress
    Being on a diet is stressful. So is striving to be like someone else, whether it is a celebrity on TV or your friend who posted a bikini picture of herself on Facebook. Trying to be someone else can drive you crazy. There is a lot of pressure these days for us to look a certain way, especially for women. If you are the type of person who succumbs to this pressure and emotionally overeats, you’ll need to de-stress. Try some relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or even just chilling by the pool. Watch a funny movie; laughter really is the best medicine. Stress triggers junk food cravings and releases the hormone cortisol, which stores fat in your body! Aim to stay happy and relaxed.

    10. Breathe
    Breathing not only relaxes you, it can clear your mind of the negative emotions that drive you to overeat. Here is a simple breathing exercise that you can do anytime you feel overwhelmed: sit with your eyes closed in a comfortable position with your back straight. Place your hand on your stomach and take deep breaths through your nose, exhale slowly through the mouth. Continue this for at least 3 to 5 minutes. In this relaxed state, your junk food cravings will dissipate.

    11. Make it a conscious choice
    For some people it is just a matter of making a conscious decision and sticking to it. Make a list of all the pros and cons for emotional eating. Focusing on your goals will strengthen your resolve to create lasting change in your life.

    12. Change your value system
    Make a decision to value your health over immediate satisfaction, to value the long term over the short term. Living in a body that is healthy, slim and agile is more satisfying than the instant gratification you get from binge eating.

    Unhealthy overeating can stem from emotions that don’t serve you. The good news is you are in control of your emotions. Determine your emotional triggers, look out for those triggers and take charge over your mind and body. Achieving mastery over your emotions is a learned skill; with practice, you will get better and better at it. That will then show up in the way you feel and the way you look. I bet you can’t wait!

    I love some of these recommendations, I use them as well. I'm a big fan of the NLP but the example with imagining bugs and spiders on food is not good at all. It can lead to a very unhealthy relationships with food. Instead it's easier to program yourself to choose healthier food options, food with lesser calories, no junk and etc.
    I also do a lot of visualization of my goals including my weight loss and my new beautiful body. I find it extremely helpful with accepting those little imperfections and focusing on positives mostly and therefore feeling much more confident and proud of yourself.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,005 Member
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    "Don't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog."

    This always seems a silly mantra to me - No I am not a dog but like my dog, I enjoy food treats and if I can reward myself with them within my calorie allowance I don't see a problem with that.

    When I am training my dog, I do use food treats - but I also use praise as a reward - do I then go saying to myself Dont use praise, you are not a dog. :*

    Silly.

  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,005 Member
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    A coworker of mine says "I've had a bad day, I need Thai food". No, you don't. That's using food as comfort. What happens when you have a bad week..month..

    Like everything, the method needs to be used in moderation - within calorie allowance, for weight purposes.

    But isnt wrong in itself - only taking it to extremes is.