The gym is all I have
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You play with no one on league of legends? Have you never watched twitch? League is one of the biggest games streamed on that service, from big pro players to a ton of small streamers from all elos. There's no way to not have any friends and play league. Although there's a chance of getting cancer, you will make contacts while playing. Or just add people after game and comment on their play style/how they made the match "fun".0
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Some famous poet wrote about people living lives of desperate solitude. Just keep your keel even until you find your ballast. It's work, but you can do it.1
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Is there a crossfit box in your vicinity? Go check it out, everyone does the same work out at the same time, limited group and you get to write scores at the end of the work-out with everyone's names on the board, so you end up knowing the people that usually go at the same time as you do, and some folks tag along for streching afterwards, so you have opportunities to socialize . Suffering in group creates at strong bond :-) Plus they usually host social events here and there. Just throwing this out as you mention the gym and seem to be into sports. All age groups are represented, but from my experience your age group is predominant. Just a thought.0
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Totally feeling the same way and I'm 28. Moved to Cali from NY 2 years ago and the only friend I made is moving to Seattle in 2 days. I spent the first year here in a toxic relationship that sucked up all my time. Now I'm slowly getting out there making friends and what not. I totally agree with the advice of joining meet ups. They are definitely helpful. Also MFP fitfam are great too. I have a friend I made in here that I talk to everyday. I only talk to one or two friends from NY and that's not on a regular basis. It's rough but you can definitely get out there and start interacting with others. Try some of the suggestions you've received here. Best of luck!0
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Not everyone NEEDS religion. There are lots of happy people who don't follow it at all..........like me.jillrybicki76 wrote: »Open the BIBLE...we are empty without God, and only God can fill our void
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »So what's your favorite video game?
This year so far its Horizon zero dawn. Should be in the running for game of the year. Destiny 2 is probably one of the only other big games left to come out this year so hopefully that is great as well.
OMG I'm so keen for Destiny 2! September can't come soon enough.
Destiny 2 looks good, but did you check out Anthem?
Yeah looks awesome. Not sure if I can fit another big game like that in though.0 -
Not everyone NEEDS religion. There are lots of happy people who don't follow it at all..........like me.jillrybicki76 wrote: »Open the BIBLE...we are empty without God, and only God can fill our void
Most churches and church groups aren't good for meeting younger adults (20s/early 30s). I say this as a Christian (Catholic, specifically). Perhaps those contemporary mega-churches are different? Wouldn't know.
I'd consider church (for those who believe) in the same category as the gym--a means of self-betterment.
In other words, church will fulfill you spiritually, yes; likely not socially.3 -
Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people1 -
bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
any lawns you would like us to get off of? I bet it really chaps your butt that there are "young people" making millions of dollars playing video games for a living too.6 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
any lawns you would like us to get off of? I bet it really chaps your butt that there are "young people" making millions of dollars playing video games for a living too.
That's nice but then don't complain about having no social life when you're in the basement making your millions on video games
Now get off my lawn!!!0 -
bigmuneymfp wrote: »Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
any lawns you would like us to get off of? I bet it really chaps your butt that there are "young people" making millions of dollars playing video games for a living too.
That's nice but then don't complain about having no social life when you're in the basement making your millions on video games
Now get off my lawn!!!
Its not the video games fault in that scenario. Its people not wanting to meet and deal with people like you that keep them in their house.
Social anxiety =/= video games fault2 -
I used to feel the way you do when on dates or around people. Sooo socially awkward. I would over think everything I said and did to the point that by the time I was done editing all my reactions and responses, I wasn't even myself. I was trying to be what I thought everyone wanted. No one liked me any better. They thought I had no personality. So I gave up on that. I had no friends. Now I don't worry so much. I just relax and be me. I am the most sarcastic person I know. People who knew me from then and who I now get along with often joke "remember when we used to think you were nice?" Obviously it's a joke because I'm not rude I'm just honest. If people don't like me that's their decision, it doesn't bother me any. You need to get to a place that you're comfortable enough to say the same.2
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Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
any lawns you would like us to get off of? I bet it really chaps your butt that there are "young people" making millions of dollars playing video games for a living too.
That's nice but then don't complain about having no social life when you're in the basement making your millions on video games
Now get off my lawn!!!
Its not the video games fault in that scenario. Its people not wanting to meet and deal with people like you that keep them in their house.
Social anxiety =/= video games fault
All those scary real people lol hey I get it the world is a scary place0 -
bigmuneymfp wrote: »Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
any lawns you would like us to get off of? I bet it really chaps your butt that there are "young people" making millions of dollars playing video games for a living too.
That's nice but then don't complain about having no social life when you're in the basement making your millions on video games
Now get off my lawn!!!
Its not the video games fault in that scenario. Its people not wanting to meet and deal with people like you that keep them in their house.
Social anxiety =/= video games fault
All those scary real people lol hey I get it the world is a scary place
you are making a joke of it, but its not a joke to them. Perhaps you should grow up and find some compassion.2 -
bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
Lol meanwhile e-sports is growing in popularity every year...with full arenas of basement dwelling young people. One of the most social websites is Dedicated to video games....hmm.
Tournaments being held internationally where many people meet up and hang out. It's just like watching sports but the gamers can actually play the game they are spectating.
People just have to find social spaces they fit in with.
Don't hate. Appreciate.
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bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
Lol meanwhile e-sports is growing in popularity every year...with full arenas of basement dwelling young people. One of the most social websites is Dedicated to video games....hmm.
Tournaments being held internationally where many people meet up and hang out. It's just like watching sports but the gamers can actually play the game they are spectating.
People just have to find social spaces they fit in with.
Don't hate. Appreciate.
The fact that E3 just finished also makes me laugh.1 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
Lol meanwhile e-sports is growing in popularity every year...with full arenas of basement dwelling young people. One of the most social websites is Dedicated to video games....hmm.
Tournaments being held internationally where many people meet up and hang out. It's just like watching sports but the gamers can actually play the game they are spectating.
People just have to find social spaces they fit in with.
Don't hate. Appreciate.
The fact that E3 just finished also makes me laugh.
Yeah and blizzcon is on the way. Can't wait to leave my basement1 -
I'm much older than you, but in same situation. In general I'm a happy, well-adjusted human being, but get these intense moments of pure terrifying loneliness. I know it'll pass, and I know it will be okay, but it's still a horrible feeling to deal with. As corny as it may sound journaling as helped tremendously. Still it would be nice to have real, deep friendships. I've joined various meetups, exercise groups, tabletop events, and go out quiet a bit (even on my own) I try to be social and talk. I don't always succeed, but I tried and consider it practice. Even with my weight I'm an attractive person and get attention, but the social anxiety makes it difficult to maintain anything. Im getting better. I would highly recommend listening and reading Dr nerdlove articles and podcast. It's meant for guys and dating but the same concepts can be applied to social situations and trying to make friends.
So my advice:
Journal. See if it reveals any insights.
Research. Read books, listen to podcast, watch YouTube videos on making friends, being charismatic and how to be more comfortable in social situations.
Apply and PRACTICE. Treat it like a game and level up. Create a point system with a weekly and daily goal. I remember I watched a video about eye contact and gave myself a goal to maintain eye contact for 5 seconds with 3 people. Do you have any idea how freaking intense it is to look at a person's eyeballs? It was awkward and uncomfortable and that one dude on the escalator probably thought I was going start stalking him, but we both lived and now have an awkward story to tell people.2 -
@Jonathanak6 wrote: »After a year from when I moved from my old home that I lived in most my life, I still haven't made any friends or really talked to anyone my age....Not sure what to do anymore besides go to the gym more.
For starters, post on the thread that you started. it's been 2 days and you haven't come back to it.1 -
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There was a period of about a year of my life where all my social interaction was online. I really hate to go out and socialize, but I also really want to. Usually the benefit of company is outweighed by having to actually get dressed up and do hair etc. I didnt' even date for an entire year because CBA to get out of gym clothes and put on makeup lol I have no advise for you, but just wanted to pop in and let you know there's nothing wrong with you... many people have hermit slumps!2
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Jonathanak6 wrote: »After a year from when I moved from my old home that I lived in most my life, I still haven't made any friends or really talked to anyone my age. At first it made sense because I would stay home and play video games but I also was in community college and still am, I have been so damn lonely and no one that I was friends with in my old home town ever texts or call me so they just let me go and I have and still haven't had any friends since then. So I've been super sad and lonely everyday, it's summer so I am only doing an online class until fall then ill go back to the classrooms for college. I have been going to the gym everyday for the past month and a half and have been using MFP for calories and stuff because I'm sick of my weight. Since I'm technically an adult and 21 years old I feel like my life shouldn't be so boring, like the only things I do is go to the gym, do homework and then play some video games or watch Netflix then go to sleep. The gym is basically all I have, I spend as much time in the gym as I can just to be around other human beings, and then when I get home I am super lonely and sad because no one ever messages me or calls me. I just wish there was a way to be happier but I'm also too shy to approach people now, I used to be super nice and outgoing but being so isolated has made me socially awkward and I get anxiety when I try to hold a conversation. I feel like ever since I got a diploma my life has just gone downhill, I mean I'm still a virgin, I'm 220 pounds and I'm socially awkward. Not sure what to do anymore besides go to the gym more.
It sounds like you are an introvert like myself. I get a lot of anxiety when people talk to me because I don't know how to respond to strangers most of the time. I'm sure they think I am some kind of weirdo because I fail to keep a conversation going. A big part of that comes from the fact that I don't enjoy small talk.
I do much better surrounded by people that are interested in the same things that I am so we can actually talk about that stuff. So basically, the conversations that would occur at neighborhood picnics bore the hell out of me.
Anyway, if you like video games a lot, I recommend going to places where you know the other people also really like video games. Find people where you know you have something in common right off the bat so you don't have to put yourself through those awkward small talk conversations just to figure out if you have anything in common with the person on the other end of the conversation. That's my two cents.2 -
bigmuneymfp wrote: »Stop playing video games
It's the number one problem I see with young people
This. I'm trying to remember, in the 70s and 80s, if there was any commensurate bad habit young, shy people had that was as developmentally destructive and as big a time suck as this "hobby." Can't think of one. This video game garbage has to stop.
Reading, Comic books, Learning to create in programming languages, Dungeons and dragons, electronics, Tv shows, board games, movies, and the biggest one of all. Avoiding people like you who dont understand them and choose to hate and "beat them up" rather than understand.
There is a REASON this was a big movie franchise during that time...
and just for good measure..
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You're 21 and go to a community college. Here's something a lot of people don't know. Community college has an inordinate amount of really hot girls... at least in California. Because during high school they were always invited to parties and dates and socialized and partied more than studying. So they didn't get into universities. I realize this is a generalization, so please don't attack me. It's just a personal observation I've made at a couple of community colleges in Southern California.
Anyway, you're young and with all of the time you've spent at the gym, you are probably getting pretty fit.
You need to unplug from the gaming console and plug into reality. Maybe get a part time job and meet some girls. Make a study group that meets at Starbucks... or join one of theirs.
The hardest part of making friends is being willing to put yourself out there. Learn to like the person you are, because if you don't like yourself, nobody else will.
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I don't see any positive and developmentally constructive parallels to the disciplines, interests, face-to-face social interactions and technical skills you mention above as compared to indulging in a round the clock virtual gaming habit. Which is plenty prevalent with young and even not-so-young people today.
How many people with social anxiety did you go to visit in their home during the 70's and 80's. Because the only difference between then and now, is that they have the internet to reach out for help and to talk to people. Video games have nothing to do with it. Correlation is not causation.
Lots of fat people exercise. Therefore exercise makes you fat.
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We all went to visit other people in their homes. That's what we did then. We didn't barge our way in if their door was deadlocked, they didn't own a phone and they didn't answer the doorbell. But other than that, yeah, that's what we did. It didn't make us saints. Most of us didn't virtue signal about it and we didn't keep a log about how often we did it so we could defend ourselves if we were quizzed about it. And guess what Sonny? Lot's of people 50+ years of age still make it a regular weekly or even daily thing to meet with people, including socially anxious people, face-to-face. And visit other humans in their homes. Whoa.
Be as ignorant as you want, I am talking about people with social anxiety that want to stay away from people like you, who dont invite you to their home. See the point here?0 -
Everyone then, and everyone now has the right to be left alone if that's what they want. So yes, I get the point you're making. Just as I no longer want to interact with you in this thread. As I find you insultingly hostile about the topic of gaming and gamers and whatever it represents.
I am hostile? lol. alright you earned the ignore. Cheers.0 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »I don't see any positive and developmentally constructive parallels to the disciplines, interests, face-to-face social interactions and technical skills you mention above as compared to indulging in a round the clock virtual gaming habit. Which is plenty prevalent with young and even not-so-young people today.
How many people with social anxiety did you go to visit in their home during the 70's and 80's. Because the only difference between then and now, is that they have the internet to reach out for help and to talk to people. Video games have nothing to do with it. Correlation is not causation.
Lots of fat people exercise. Therefore exercise makes you fat.
We all went to visit other people in their homes. That's what we did then. We didn't barge our way in if their door was deadlocked, they didn't own a phone and they didn't answer the doorbell. But other than that, yeah, that's what we did. It didn't make us saints. Most of us didn't virtue signal about it and we didn't keep a log about how often we did it so we could defend ourselves if we were quizzed about it. And guess what Sonny? Lot's of people 50+ years of age still make it a regular weekly or even daily thing to meet with people, including socially anxious people, face-to-face. And visit other humans in their homes. Whoa.
I believe you missed the point.1 -
@newmeadow wrote: »@JeepHair77 wrote: »Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »I don't see any positive and developmentally constructive parallels to the disciplines, interests, face-to-face social interactions and technical skills you mention above as compared to indulging in a round the clock virtual gaming habit. Which is plenty prevalent with young and even not-so-young people today.
How many people with social anxiety did you go to visit in their home during the 70's and 80's. Because the only difference between then and now, is that they have the internet to reach out for help and to talk to people. Video games have nothing to do with it. Correlation is not causation.
Lots of fat people exercise. Therefore exercise makes you fat.
We all went to visit other people in their homes. That's what we did then. We didn't barge our way in if their door was deadlocked, they didn't own a phone and they didn't answer the doorbell. But other than that, yeah, that's what we did. It didn't make us saints. Most of us didn't virtue signal about it and we didn't keep a log about how often we did it so we could defend ourselves if we were quizzed about it. And guess what Sonny? Lot's of people 50+ years of age still make it a regular weekly or even daily thing to meet with people, including socially anxious people, face-to-face. And visit other humans in their homes. Whoa.
I believe you missed the point.
I believe you missed mine.
I believe I can fly.2 -
I just believe1
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