Underactive thyroid and weight issues
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.0 -
Also @ OP I'll add this, since some people think I'm discouraging you from losing weight or whatever.. I never meant to imply that I thought giving up was a good option. You can still lose weight and be healthy with hard work. Will you have to accept the reality that the weight might come off slower than you hoped? Probably but if you stick to your guns and keep at it you'll be there in the end. It's a marathon not a sprint. As long as you're taking steps toward a healthier you, it doesn't matter how long it takes (even though it's a pain in the *kitten*).
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Yes it's harder. My DW had half her thyroid removed (due to a goiter). Her weight went up right after. How'd she lose 35lbs? She took up ballroom dancing and practiced 2 hours a day and ate under 1400 calories a day. It took well over a year. But she's there now and still has to watch how much she eats much much closer than I do. So, I know it's harder, but it's not impossible to do IF one is committed to doing it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.
Now you're being hyperbolic. I also fail to see how I'm changing any word meanings or where I'm feeling badly about anything.
So, where to begin...
Having thyroid disease isn't the same as having cancer.
The OP came here to say that she had it harder because she had thyroid disease and wanted a good moan based on that "fact".
Well, her "fact" isn't so factual, and many of us who have thyroid disease (including those who have lost theirs to cancer) have spoken up and said so.
You, however, seem to be asserting that it's somehow wrong of us not to just ... comfort her and let her continue on in assuming that she has it bad because she had thyroid disease?
I can assure you, if she is having difficulty losing weight, it's either because she's not properly medicated, or she's not properly logging. It's not down to the fact that she has a thyroid condition.
People who believe they CAN do something figure that there's a problem somewhere and work to fix it.
People who are coddled and wallow just sit there and don't make progress.
And that is the real point.6 -
Actually you have now crossed the line and are in my court.Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
If you want to discuss getting punched in the face and how assault works then you better put on your Big Boy pants.
Teaching people to not be "victims" of assault is what I do.
It is what I have done for a few decades now and I have been told by people from all over the world, from all sorts of government agencies, that I am very good at it.
Being an "assault victim" is a different frame of mind from having been the "victim of an assault."
Notice the tense of each? The reference to time? It frames how you think.
You STILL ARE or you WERE. Take your pick.
I am an assault victim... Just began and/or is still happening.
I was an assault victim... Occurred in the past.
You always have a choice of taking steps to prevent assault (or heart attacks or getting fat for that matter) from happening.
Body language, lack of assertive confidence, strategic / tactical choices, and a lot of other factors demonstrate to predators that you are a target.
Does it always protect you? NO. But you need to do the work if you want to improve your odds.
If you chose not to even take those steps then that is on you.
Eating properly is not much different.
You have to choose to change how you think, how you eat, how you carry yourself...
It is not easy or even simple but it can be done.
Comes down to wolves, sheep and sheepdogs.
You are choosing to keep thinking like one of the sheep; like a victim, like prey for the wolves.
You have no real understanding of violence but you are grasping at straws and using it to try to defend your position.
There is nothing wrong with being one of the sheep. Sheepdogs like myself exist just to protect the sheep from the wolves.
But that doesn't mean you should walk around all day going "Baaaaa!" just so the wolves can find you easier.
"Remember: When seconds count, help is only minutes away."
Perhaps you were assaulted in the past and so you are traumatized. I deal with people like that almost every day.
Rape, GSW, aggravated battery...
It seems your position is framed in such a way that you were abused or something.
If that is the case then I am truly sorry, but you clearly did not learn the correct lessons from the event.
Instead, you are hiding behind it and letting it shape your world view. Letting fear define you.
If I am remotely close then my advice is to see a therapist if you have not done so already.
Good luck to you.5 -
Actually you have now crossed the line and are in my court.Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
If you want to discuss getting punched in the face and how assault works then you better put on your Big Boy pants.
Teaching people to not be "victims" of assault is what I do.
It is what I have done for a few decades now and I have been told by people from all over the world, from all sorts of government agencies, that I am very good at it.
Being a "assault victim" is a different frame of mind from having been the "victim of an assault."
Notice the tense of each? The reference to time? It frames how you think.
You STILL ARE or you WERE. Take your pick.
You have a choice of taking steps to prevent assault (or heart attacks for that matter) from happening.
Body language, lack of assertive confidence, strategic / tactical choices, and a lot of other factors demonstrate to predators that you are a target.
Does it always protect you? NO. But you need to do the work if you want to improve your odds.
Eating properly is not much different.
You have to choose to change how you think, how you eat, how to carry yourself...
It is not easy or even simple but it can be done.
Comes down to wolves, sheep and sheepdogs. You are choosing to think like one of the sheep; like a victim.
You have no real understanding of violence but you are grasping at straws and using it to try to defend your position.
Perhaps you were assaulted in the past and so you are traumatized. I deal with people like that almost every day.
Rape, GSW, aggravated battery...
It seems your position is framed in such a way that you were abused or something.
If that is the case then I am truly sorry, but you clearly did not learn the correct lessons from the event.
Instead, you are hiding behind it and letting it shape your world view. Letting fear define you.
If I am remotely close then my advice is to see a therapist if you have not done so already.
Good luck to you.
Switching back to the framework of illness (specifically cancer), isn't there some research regarding positivity? Not necessarily regarding its impact on the future outcome of the disease, but on its impact on facing the challenge of each day as it comes and not being overwhelmed by the experience.
My father in law fought cancer twice, and both times were very different in regards to outcome, but his outlook during both was the same. It made the experience for him less draining than it could have been. In fact, it was him having had such a positive outlook the first time that empowered him to face the second time with such grace and bravery.
In both cases, he chose to only give cancer as much of his life as he absolutely needed to, and no more.
That's the problem with victim mentality. When you remain a victim, you give over more of your life willingly, rather than taking back what you can and reclaiming it for yourself.4 -
Very well put.GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »That's the problem with victim mentality. When you remain a victim, you give over more of your life willingly, rather than taking back what you can and reclaiming it for yourself.
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bluets2011 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »I have hypothyroidism, pcos, several autoimmune conditions that have me constantly in pain and ive lost 145lb
Honestly hun you need to stop the excuses. Yes the CO part of the equation is slightly less with hypothyroidism but its less than 5% difference
When you joined and input your data mfp gave you a daily calorie number based on the rate of loss
Find foods you want to eat that fit into this number and weigh your foods and measure liquids
Then find an activity you enjoy and can stick with
The nhs is on its *kitten*. Sorry but the weight loss programmes they used to run appear to have been stopped. You could always ask the gp if you can see a dietitian
No need to buy expensive pills and potions
No need to join a diet company if public weigh ins arnt your thing
Check recipies online or other peoples weight loss blogs for menu ideas
[quote="ruqayyahsmum
@ruqayyahsmum Also as you mentioned in another post, weight loss surgery helped you on lose weight, besides what you've mentioned. So each person have their own struggles.
Surgery is just a tool, it didnt lose the weight for me, it doesnt get my *kitten* out of bed early to go run or to the gym, thats all me
When i was in hospital last year i could very very easily eat 3000+ calories
What surgery did for me? Saved my life. Thats right i was given just 5 years to live
So sorry you dont get to try and dismiss the fact that doing something about diet/exercise instead of ranting and being pissed off at life because i used a tool to help5 -
Sorry...
In my rush to type out a bunch of information which I usually discuss at length I just saw that I phrased a few things poorly.
Specifically:
Being an "assault victim" is a different frame of mind from having been "assaulted."
Notice the tense of each? The reference to time? The choice of words? It frames how you think.
You STILL ARE A VICTIM or you WERE ATTACKED. Take your pick.
I am an assault victim... Just began and/or is still happening?
I was assaulted... Occurred in the past. No need to consider yourself to be a "victim" at all...
I hate it when I do stuff like that but you all got the point, I think
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.
I've certainly said something pretty close to that, if phrased a bit more compassionately, in a breast cancer survivors support group. It makes sense to me to say similar things to fellow hypothyroid people who're aiming to lose weight.
I'm a stage III (advanced) cancer survivor, am hypothyroid, plus menopausal (caused by chemotherapy), and kinda old (61). I have osteoarthritis in various spots, osteopenia, and bad knee (torn meniscus). Lots of us have stuff, some worse, some not.
But, so what? Like others, I lost weight in the normal way - eating less than I burn . . . 60 pounds in just under a year. It may've been easier/faster for me than for some, but i believe anyone can do it.
Yeah, words have meaning, as do other parts of language (choice to use a noun vs. an adjective, past tense verb vs. present, etc.) . . . language is pretty subtle. Initially becoming a victim is not a choice; staying in that role is.
Giving up victimhood as a way of being - taking control of all the aspects you control, and exercising influence over all the ones you can influence - is essential to self-mastery, which is a useful (necessary?) part of the path to recovery and personal change.
6 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.
I've certainly said something pretty close to that, if phrased a bit more compassionately, in a breast cancer survivors support group. It makes sense to me to say similar things to fellow hypothyroid people who're aiming to lose weight.
I'm a stage III (advanced) cancer survivor, am hypothyroid, plus menopausal (caused by chemotherapy), and kinda old (61). I have osteoarthritis in various spots, osteopenia, and bad knee (torn meniscus). Lots of us have stuff, some worse, some not.
But, so what? Like others, I lost weight in the normal way - eating less than I burn . . . 60 pounds in just under a year. It may've been easier/faster for me than for some, but i believe anyone can do it.
Yeah, words have meaning, as do other parts of language (choice to use a noun vs. an adjective, past tense verb vs. present, etc.) . . . language is pretty subtle. Initially becoming a victim is not a choice; staying in that role is.
Giving up victimhood as a way of being - taking control of all the aspects you control, and exercising influence over all the ones you can influence - is essential to self-mastery, which is a useful (necessary?) part of the path to recovery and personal change.
I was thinking of paging you into this thread. I am so glad you've responded here. I agree with everything you've said.1 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.
I've certainly said something pretty close to that, if phrased a bit more compassionately, in a breast cancer survivors support group. It makes sense to me to say similar things to fellow hypothyroid people who're aiming to lose weight.
I'm a stage III (advanced) cancer survivor, am hypothyroid, plus menopausal (caused by chemotherapy), and kinda old (61). I have osteoarthritis in various spots, osteopenia, and bad knee (torn meniscus). Lots of us have stuff, some worse, some not.
But, so what? Like others, I lost weight in the normal way - eating less than I burn . . . 60 pounds in just under a year. It may've been easier/faster for me than for some, but i believe anyone can do it.
Yeah, words have meaning, as do other parts of language (choice to use a noun vs. an adjective, past tense verb vs. present, etc.) . . . language is pretty subtle. Initially becoming a victim is not a choice; staying in that role is.
Giving up victimhood as a way of being - taking control of all the aspects you control, and exercising influence over all the ones you can influence - is essential to self-mastery, which is a useful (necessary?) part of the path to recovery and personal change.
I was thinking of paging you into this thread. I am so glad you've responded here. I agree with everything you've said.
Honestly, I think you had it very well covered. (But I couldn't resist
.) 0 -
@ruqayyahsmum agree that you need to still eat within calorie limit and exercise, but would have been nice of you to add that you used also this tool in losing 145, would have helped op see that there's people that need different tools.0
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bluets2011 wrote: »@ruqayyahsmum agree that you need to still eat within calorie limit and exercise, but would have been nice of you to add that you used also this tool in losing 145, would have helped op see that there's people that need different tools.
Do other people have to go around telling others they had a personal trainer or joined weight watchers?
I didnt lose much via surgery actually. I became pregnant 9 months post surgery and testing the surgery to see if i could get enough nutrition showed i could still eat ALOT of food
I miscarried at 13 weeks. My weight stayed static
I took up running to help with my mental state and it had the handy bonus of helping with my deficit
Got pregnant again and barely ate unless drugged up and forcefed which was hourly due to hypo's
Gave birth and gained due to the extra cals needed to get a milk supply established as i gave birth at 25 weeks and then had to have surgery at 5 weeks postpartum
Ive then had to work like anyone else here to get my eating and exercise on point while i balance keeping my milk supply going so i can feed my son
Anything else you would like to know2 -
@ruqayyahsmum so sorry to hear all you went through and thanks for sharing all your issues with me. I just found a bit contradictory with your post about having had the surgery. Yes no magic potions, but still surgery. The op seems to be in a delicate mental position now, and you've had your struggles too as you just shared.1
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »A lot of people on here are going to try to downplay your struggles because they like to push this narrative that everyone has an equal shot, and no one has any "excuses" to be fat. Even though that's not the case. Some people are 6'3", have a fast metabolism and have to eat 2,500 calories a day to lose. Some people are 5'0", hypothyroid, physically disabled and have to basically starve for months on end to lose 1 lb a month. Some people have totally normal healthy bodies and some people have brain cancer. Life isn't fair. But because we're talking about weight, which some people have linked to character, you won't get as much sympathy.
I have already responded to this thread, but let me spell some things out for you to illustrate the position of one of the people who is encouraging the OP:- I have a benign brain tumor which somewhat impairs my cognitive functioning (my posts on here often reflect this)
- I have chronic daily migraines. Most are minor. Some aren't.
- I have celiac disease.
- I have degenerative disc disease which has led to scoliosis.
- I have osteoarthritis and psoriatic arthritis.
- I have Hashimoto's disease.
- I am post-menopausal (I will be 55 in a couple of months).
You know what made all of this worse? Being fat and inactive and doing nothing about it. You know what else makes it all worse? Feeling like a victim to all of it.
So I don't choose to be.
I have to live with it, but I don't have to let any of it define me. Neither do you or anyone else. Why would you want to?
If you or anyone else wants their limits to define their view of themselves, I think that's a pretty sad way of looking at things.
You can choose, instead, to focus on what you can do. So what if you only lose a pound a month -- and as for that, a properly medicated thyroid patient in menopause will lose weight just like everyone else does, saying otherwise is in almost all cases relying on faulty data to back up your claim -- in other words, you're not eating as little as you think you are or burning as much as you think you are when you claim to be losing weight abnormally slowly.
Victim or victor? What will you be? Focus on what you can do or what you can't do?
Knowledge is power. If weight loss isn't working right, it's not that you're a victim of anything but a lack of knowledge about how it works. Your math is wrong.
The hardest thing I had to learn about losing weight was how to be accurate in accounting for food intake and energy output. I fooled myself for a long time about both and thought I was a special case for whom weight loss was "hard".
It really wasn't hard once I learned more. It's funny how that same scenario seems to play out over and over again for successful people here on MFP
Okay but being a victim isn't a choice. If someone comes up to you and punches you in the face, you are an assault victim. If you have a heart attack you are a heart attack victim. You can also be a survivor, but that doesn't make you... NOT a victim.
I never said OP had to let anything "define" her. Acknowledging that things exist isn't the same thing as letting them define you.
Of course they'll lose weight. Just like everybody else who doesn't have the same medical condition as them? Maybe, maybe not.
Weight loss wasn't hard for me. I don't have any medical conditions. I've lost 70 pounds and kept it off. That doesn't mean it's not hard for some people. I have a family member who has PCOS, and other medical conditions that make it hard for her to lose weight. Sometimes people just need to vent about their struggles. Saying "you know what, that kinda sucks", and "I understand your frustration about this" vs "pull yourself up by your bootstraps! No excuses!" nonsense that doesn't really help.
Are you actually tone policing this thread? I can't even.
I don't find your approach is helpful, so I choose to respond in a different way when i see threads like the OP's.
You obviously have a different approach. That's the internet for you. Something for everyone.
FTR, did you see upthread where I stated that I'd been through a sexual assault? It's rather silly of you to try to explain "victimhood" to me.
I'm not tone policing, just explaining my point of view that you seemed to misunderstand. And I didn't see that no, but it doesn't change the fact that words have definitions/meanings that you can't just decide to change because they make you feel bad. I don't just walk into the hospital and say "quit allowing yourself to be a victim!" to a cancer patient.
This is hyperbole and strawman. Are you trying to help or are you trying to be right? Your point of view is just that - yours. Not superior or inferior. Diminishing the input from others isn't helpful and it takes a multitude of responses, experience and viewpoints to make for any successful plan of action. Every survivor is going to tell a different story.
In my experience I was told that I would gain weight and could not be an athlete and accepted this as fact. Looking back I'm irritated that I allowed this mindset of failure into my life and presenting anyone with similar diagnosis that you do in fact have control over this. Thankfully I found the work of a maverick endocrinologist, Dr. Jeffrey S. Brown who pushed the boundaries of established science and enabled elite athletes to function as they've become accustomed to.
If you perceive stating clinical evidence as a lack of empathy then I submit that you are reading far more into posts than actually exists.1 -
It might be worth you reading Dr Isabella Wentz as she has researched a lot and found gluten affects thyroid. I stopped it and joints don't ache but if I stray they hurt again. She has a book The Root Cause that may help too. She's got website too0
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