Family is no help!

135

Replies

  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    seccotine wrote: »
    Could you be a bit more precise: what is your family cooking and what is missing? You do not need diet food to loose weight, however vegetables and fresh fruit are definitely helpful. But as vnb_208 said, portion size and avoiding liquid calories are a big part of the equation. Whatever you do, do NOT look at it as "dieting", i.e. a punishment limited in time, but commit to changing your eating habits for good.

    Well I am trying to take red meat and fried food out of my diet. I have already discontinued rice from my diet but I love bread and sweets so I am trying to wean myself off of them. However my family continues to request red meat, fried food, and sweets. They are on a fixed income so it is expensive to try and cook two different dinners daily.

    It sounds like you are trying to cut out a lot of foods. That is not necessary. My husband is from the south, likes his current weight, and refuses to eat the healthy stuff I grew up on out west. So, I cook the greasy fatty food with rice or potatoes for dinner and honestly it's delicious! I just eat a lot lighter during the rest of the day and watch my dinner portions. Would your family object to buying a few healthier options for you to eat for breakfast and lunch?

    No we basically do bacon, sausage, biscuits, pancakes, oatmeal, eggs, and grits. Lately I've been sticking to the oatmeal and grits with an apple on the side or a poached eggs with shredded cheese.

    It sounds like you got this. That is a small healthy meal made of ingredients you already have, plus fruit. It's budget and calorie friendly. Just pick and choose what items or portions you want from those big meals to meet your calorie goals and you will lose the weight. Also, don't forget exercise calories. I'm not working either and use that spare time to go on long walks so I can eat more.
  • jlscherme
    jlscherme Posts: 157 Member
    You are not working, so maybe you could apply for foodstamps? I don't know what the requirements are in your area/county. Also a food bank may have healthier options...
  • nopotofgold
    nopotofgold Posts: 164 Member
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Seeing as you're unemployed why don't you offer to help by shopping and cooking sometimes?

    I actually do all the cooking right now because my grandparents are sick.

    So then you can portion out the amount you can eat to fit your calories.

    Again, given that you're not working, why not cook 2 meals if you don't want to eat the same as them?

    I know what you mean but when you have a grandmother with dementia that is possessive about her kitchen and gets violent you will learn to minimize your time in the kitchen lol. Most days I do my best to cook separately but it's becoming more and more of a battle the sicker she gets.

    So she cooks too?
    Grill it, if you have a grill. taste great and every one loves BBQ. Just do naked with like salt & pepper.

    No, she "supervises" lol. We have to watch her because she will add things to the food and sometimes throws it away or burns it.

    That can be very challenging. Have you tried precooking meals so there is "leftovers" in the frig need to be eaten, so they wont get wasted?
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,702 Member
    I'm thinking you could take all the above advice and also consider something that worked great for me.

    Intermittent fasting. Eat normally one day and fast the next day. Repeat for the rest of your life.

    That way you won't need to worry so much about the specific groceries and foods you eat everyday and your body will have enough time to digest all the food you do throw in



    he doesnt have to fast on alternate days unless he wants too and your body doesnt need time to digest foods its always working to digest food.it doesnt need a break or anything like that. only way you need a break from digesting foods is if you have a digestive disorder or problem then you may need one. but then they make digestive enzymes to break food down when your body cant do it properly.
  • Oriel94
    Oriel94 Posts: 22 Member
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Seeing as you're unemployed why don't you offer to help by shopping and cooking sometimes?

    I actually do all the cooking right now because my grandparents are sick.

    So then you can portion out the amount you can eat to fit your calories.

    Again, given that you're not working, why not cook 2 meals if you don't want to eat the same as them?

    I know what you mean but when you have a grandmother with dementia that is possessive about her kitchen and gets violent you will learn to minimize your time in the kitchen lol. Most days I do my best to cook separately but it's becoming more and more of a battle the sicker she gets.

    So she cooks too?
    Grill it, if you have a grill. taste great and every one loves BBQ. Just do naked with like salt & pepper.

    No, she "supervises" lol. We have to watch her because she will add things to the food and sometimes throws it away or burns it.

    That can be very challenging. Have you tried precooking meals so there is "leftovers" in the frig need to be eaten, so they wont get wasted?

    Yes, but she goes in the fridge at night while everyone is asleep and throws food away.
  • nopotofgold
    nopotofgold Posts: 164 Member
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Oriel94 wrote: »
    Seeing as you're unemployed why don't you offer to help by shopping and cooking sometimes?

    I actually do all the cooking right now because my grandparents are sick.

    So then you can portion out the amount you can eat to fit your calories.

    Again, given that you're not working, why not cook 2 meals if you don't want to eat the same as them?

    I know what you mean but when you have a grandmother with dementia that is possessive about her kitchen and gets violent you will learn to minimize your time in the kitchen lol. Most days I do my best to cook separately but it's becoming more and more of a battle the sicker she gets.

    So she cooks too?
    Grill it, if you have a grill. taste great and every one loves BBQ. Just do naked with like salt & pepper.

    No, she "supervises" lol. We have to watch her because she will add things to the food and sometimes throws it away or burns it.

    That can be very challenging. Have you tried precooking meals so there is "leftovers" in the frig need to be eaten, so they wont get wasted?

    Yes, but she goes in the fridge at night while everyone is asleep and throws food away.

    I know its hard, but you guys need to lock things like they do on the units if is that bad. Example sharp things locked up, frig/freezer locked, tools locked, dials off stove/oven. Basicly adult proof the house for safety.
  • deleneken1
    deleneken1 Posts: 1 Member
    Rocco Dispirito has a book and show called "Now Eat This". You can check out the book at your local library. If they don't have it at their location you can go to the circulation desk and ask for an inter-library loan request. Usually you have to fill out a form. It might take up to two weeks for it to come in. He has a cook book that gives healthier alternatives to comfort foods that your family probably eats. If you plan out the meals and do the shopping and cooking for your family then you will be able to still prepare those comfort foods but healthier versions of them. Instead of rice you make cauliflower rice which would cost the same as rice. Also invest in a food scale. I have had to insist that my family let me do all the shopping because they kept buying unhealthy foods and once those unhealthy foods were in my house the temptation was too great. Also prepare foods ahead of time so that you always have something ready to go that is healthy to eat...for ex. keep chopped carrots, celery, cucumber in the fridge ready to grab at a moments notice along with nuts and fruits. You will find that fresh vegetables and fruits cost the same if not less than processed foods. Most grocery stores have a section where they sell oddly shaped and sized fruits and veggies at a discount. You have to really search for it but you can usually find it. Also you might consider growing your own veggies in a container or small plot of land with seeds. Seeds are very inexpensive.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,167 Member
    @Oriel94 Taking care of a person with dementia is a full time job! God bless you for looking after your grandparents. I know it's hard for caregivers to take time to care for themselves, but you must, for their sake as well as your own. I know that's exactly what you are trying to do, and I commend you for it.
    My only suggestion is to let your grandparents know that that is why you want different food. Perhaps when you tell them you are trying to lose weight, they look at the beautiful person you are and don't think it is necessary. But if you tell them this is so you have the health and energy to accomplish other goals, they will see things differently. Or at least your grandfather will, and he can be more supportive in handling your grandmother when she has her episodes.
    Blessings!
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,564 Member
    edited June 2017
    -When it comes to a sweet tooth, you just have to get it under control, and that can be hard when you have tasty things in the house.

    This reminded me, I have a sweet tooth too and it's the main reason I don't meet my calorie goals. To the extent we can limit sweets, it leaves a lot more room for the other food you may not have as much control over.
  • French_Peasant
    French_Peasant Posts: 1,638 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    -When it comes to a sweet tooth, you just have to get it under control, and that can be hard when you have tasty things in the house.

    This reminded me, I have a sweet tooth too and it's the main reason I don't meet my calorie goals. To the extent we can limit sweets, it leaves a lot more room for the other food you may not have as much control over.

    It is definitely a struggle when the family has sweets in the house...I try to encourage them to just get things I don't like (nutty bars or entemann's donuts--yuck), but when they bring in things I like, it is hard to resist. I try to limit myself to one (or at the most two) servings a day until the pack of cookies or whatnot is gone. Still, it makes a huge difference to just eat 4 oreos instead of a sleeve and a half, as when I was blissfully ignoring the number of calories. :D
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,702 Member
    I eat a lot of things I ate before when I got fat,I just eat smaller portions and I lost weight,my health markers improved and so on. I have familial hypercholesterolemia which means even when I was thin and in better shape my cholesterol was sky high. so I have to eat a low fat/low cholesterol diet with high fiber. my cholesterol is now in the normal ranges. yeah,Im taking meds but before with just diet alone that did not help and for people like me LCHF/keto is a no no.
  • Skyfallbw
    Skyfallbw Posts: 12 Member
    Have you tried Meal preparation in containers or Salad in a Jar? They can be left in the fridge for 4 days no problem and you control what you eat and how much.
  • Seany2425
    Seany2425 Posts: 4 Member
    My suggestion is along the portion control lines like others have suggested. This is the hardest thing for me to do. I try whenever possible to log what I'm going to eat before having the meal. Cause I hate going back and editing after the fact. LOL. Also I try and make my plate to that effect and make sure to put stuff away before eating that plate. Reduces the temptation to have just a little more. You did not mention your activity level. But if you are not getting out or exercising. Find a way to fit 30 minutes of walking in every day even if it is in chunks. I hope this or someone elses comments help you get you on a workable path. Good luck!
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 2,887 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    Honestly, OP, I'm more concerned about your situation as a caregiver right now than your weight loss efforts. Dementia is so incredibly difficult on everyone. Hope your family has access to the resources you need. My heart goes out to you... just do the best you can with the circumstances you have right now. As others have mentioned, being careful with your portions of the higher calorie fare and rounding out with lower calorie veggies & fruits where possible. Maybe you can get out of the house & get some extra exercise. Wish you the best :)

    I agree! OP, it sounds like you have a grip on how to handle the food choices. It's the dementia that's the real challenge, and I haven't met anyone who has an easy answer for that. I'm especially sad that she throws away your food. :( it will be MUCH easier when you're out on your own. Congrats on finishing college, BTW. Great accomplishment!