How do YOU get better confidence??

lexiiscreams
lexiiscreams Posts: 25 Member
edited November 20 in Chit-Chat
so I'm really not comfortable in wearing these types of clothing, how do you work through awful self esteem issues? How can I feel better about myself? (I struggle with a severe case of body disformia, for those of you who don't know it's a mental thing. It causes me to feel and see different things about myself so please keep negative comments a stray) thank you!!
«1

Replies

  • This content has been removed.
  • cuckoo_jenibeth
    cuckoo_jenibeth Posts: 1,434 Member
    Honesty I could never see myself wearing this outside of my home..but I want too. Just scared of others opinions. I'd like to work on getting a better mental state.

    First, you look adorable! Maybe start by wearing it with a close friend or two to a lunch or show...a quick outing as a "test run". Over time you may feel more confident!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    you're fine; don't sweat it

    *shrug
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    I think you look great. I like your style, it's fun.

    As far as your self esteem and body dysmorphia, know that lots of people struggle with one or both of those problems too. You are not alone. I do think we are our own worst critic sometimes too.

    Do you have strong negative opinions about the way other people look and dress? Probably not, and most people won't have negative opinions towards you either. If they do, oh well, that's their problem.

    Consider your other attributes besides what you look like. Wear stuff that you feel comfortable in and like, clothes can be fun and give you a boost of confidence.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    You look great and that's a cute summer outfit that suits you... but I suffer with the same thing (I refuse to wear shorts or a tank top in public), therefore we both know that the confidence to wear it has to come from you. I wish you luck and hope that the strength to see what those close to you sees will bring you a new found confidence that you're looking for.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Cerealsensei
    Cerealsensei Posts: 1,625 Member
    When I'm not feeling too good about myself I just look at my heard and I'm reminded that everything is gonna be ok.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
    Get a good therapist. Been there, done that.
  • Jonathanak6
    Jonathanak6 Posts: 73 Member
    Wow you're beautiful
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    I used to get it at Walmart now I get it at Target.

  • This content has been removed.
  • LeGaCyGiAnT91
    LeGaCyGiAnT91 Posts: 405 Member
    You look fine to me. Different is a good thing. Be yourself. Nothing better than someone who's happy for who THEY ARE, and not for how society should depict them.
  • SEAHORSES4EVER
    SEAHORSES4EVER Posts: 1,553 Member
    I think you look great, but my opinion doesn't matter at all. It's all about how you see yourself.

    I think we all, to some degree, struggle with confidence at some point in our lives.
    Sometimes you've just got to fake it until you make it.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    I think you look great, but my opinion doesn't matter at all. It's all about how you see yourself.

    I think we all, to some degree, struggle with confidence at some point in our lives.
    Sometimes you've just got to fake it until you make it.

    Saw the thread title and immediately thought "fake it til you make it" You make me proud little seahorse.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Unknown
    edited July 2017
    This content has been removed.
  • This content has been removed.
  • c6clvktm4rb7.gif
  • This content has been removed.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    FWIW I think your look is awesome.

    For the confidence thing try concentrating more on how you feel than how you think you look. Are you physically comfortable? (Nothing feels too tight, too cold etc.) does it make you feel fun or express your personality? If all that is good go with it and no matter what you're wearing you'll come off as happy and that's what people will notice.

    Can you remember anything you saw strangers wearing yesterday? No one is judging you as hard as you're judging yourself.


    I saw a woman in a shirt that said "Obama yo mama" yesterday. Gonna be hard to forget that one.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    I guess I'm the only one not paying attention

    slc1saucxu9a.gif

    Maybe I just have more interesting creatures that live in my town.
  • lchowarf
    lchowarf Posts: 1 Member
    Right there with ya on the body dysmorphia and lack of confidence! I so get it. Unfortunately, there's no quick fix. I'm sure the compliments and whatnot on this forum are nice, but you won't be able to (and it's not healthy to!) post everything you'd like to wear on this forum. And you don't want to make seeking validation from others a thing that you do.
    I love the idea to just wear it somewhere "small" for the first time. With a close friend or where you probably won't see many people. This can help build your confidence. You may even ask that friend what they think about your outfit (although, like all of us, I'm sure they'll think it looks cute!). Just don't get sucked into seeking those compliments and validation. At some point, you've got to just be comfortable with who you are and what you want to wear and not worry about what others think (easier said than done!).
  • Xerogs
    Xerogs Posts: 328 Member
    edited July 2017
    Be a happy camper and wear what you want.

    My thoughts exactly. The older you get the less you give a rat's *kitten* what people think. Getting through the mental aspect of body dysmorphia might be more difficult. As others have mentioned therapy might be an option or simply learning to meditate to shut out the voice inside your head. Carry that throughout your day and when you start to become self conscious about what you are wearing take a few minutes and try a middle pillar exercise or something. There are plenty of ways to cope and plenty of avenues to get help (Google what others have done and maybe find a therapist you can open up to). My therapy of choice is art but I have been know to recite the Dune "Litany against fear" (yes I am a sci fi geek) inside my head when faced with big obstacles.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    FWIW I think your look is awesome.

    For the confidence thing try concentrating more on how you feel than how you think you look. Are you physically comfortable? (Nothing feels too tight, too cold etc.) does it make you feel fun or express your personality? If all that is good go with it and no matter what you're wearing you'll come off as happy and that's what people will notice.

    Can you remember anything you saw strangers wearing yesterday? No one is judging you as hard as you're judging yourself.

    I second this. If you're comfortable then you can pull off any outfit.
  • YearOfTheDragonLeo
    YearOfTheDragonLeo Posts: 215 Member
    Fake it until you make it.......confidence is up to you....
This discussion has been closed.