Severe depression
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kiramckell
Posts: 14 Member
I have a really severe case of clinical depression and find that I can't get myself to do anything. I'm close to losing my job, I can't afford an apartment so I live with my parents at 30 years old, I don't really have any friends because they're all busy with their husbands/kids. I'm not looking for the typical food journaling advice because I already do that. A reward system doesn't seem motivating to me because I can't afford to buy anything. Does anyone have any unconventional methods of dealing with this situation? I only have to lose like 40 pounds but haven't been able to workout for more than 10 minutes a day. I'm really desperate.
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Replies
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Have you seen a mental health professional? Are you on depression medication?3
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I really don't have any advice that should be taken seriously. I've never felt depression before because I simply just don't give a *kitten* about anything. But hobbies maybe? Find something to get into like photography, video games, art, hiking, etc. It's my way of escaping the work and family life and having me time.
Kayaking by myself, going hiking and rock climbing and bringing a camera along, going snowboarding and meeting random people on the slope. And sitting down after work to have a beer with video games. I enjoy alone time more than other people evidently.1 -
When in the midst of depression even small goals seem insurmountable. Have you considered getting some medical help to overcome the debilitating effects of the depression? In the meantime, you might seek a therapy group and some additional supports to find new ways to cope with the depression directly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc
To tackle a long-term goal while in the throes of depression or anxiety, I break down the goal in to something achievable. It might be an hour a day. I set up a whole line of "rewards" and remind myself to take breaks. I could set a timer. If I work on the dreaded activity for an hour, I have earned a "reward".
Non - monetary rewards - any pleasurable activity that keeps me in present moment and out of my own head. It might be re-reading a thank you card, going for a walk, paint my nails, a hot bath, a breathing exercise, re-read a favourite book, or visit the library.4 -
I too suffer from severe depression. You need to see a doctor. If you already are and you have been on meds for 6 weeks or more without improvement you need to go back. It sucks when the motivation is gone to have to fight for treatment but if you do nothing else you have to find a way to do this. You are worth it.1
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I have major depressive disorder and opt out of medication because I was on many different meds throughout the years so I completely know how you feel. I am a single mom to twins, 27, and still live with my dad. I just got over a depressive episode where I did nothing for a week straight but lay in my bed and it is literally the hardest thing to motivate yourself to even leave your house. It's gonna have to be mind over matter, even in my hardest times, if I wanted it bad enough I made myself atleast go walking. As hard as it feels to even get up, don't let your illness control you to the point it's debilitating. I think maybe reach out to your parents and see if they would help you get a membership at a wellness center so you can take some group fitness classes. You'll meet tons of new people and it's always nice knowing there's people there to help motivate you. I did it myself and ended up in the best shape of my life and made some of my best friends. There's options out there to improve all areas of your life, girl. Don't give up! According to them old folks out there, we still babies!!❤️2
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Ditto what LeanButNotMean said. Please seek help, sometimes you really cannot do things alone.
I have less severe depression than you, but I really can't get myself to do anything when I am depressed. I had to wait out financial issues and other stressors before I could start working on myself, not because of excuses but because I couldn't muster the energy to care. Of course, it's a cycle: if you don't take care of yourself you feel worse and you don't have the energy to take care of yourself.
I don't know if this is helpful at all, but I started looking at my coping mechanisms (junk food, drinking, video games) and one by one taking them on and making better choices. Meditation was by far the best thing I could do for myself; try calm.com, it's really easy and free.
But again, that is a by-your-bootstraps method that may or may not work for you; it's no substitute for professional treatment.2 -
LeanButNotMean44 wrote: »Have you seen a mental health professional? Are you on depression medication?
Yes and yes
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King_Spicy wrote: »I really don't have any advice that should be taken seriously. I've never felt depression before because I simply just don't give a *kitten* about anything. But hobbies maybe? Find something to get into like photography, video games, art, hiking, etc. It's my way of escaping the work and family life and having me time.
Kayaking by myself, going hiking and rock climbing and bringing a camera along, going snowboarding and meeting random people on the slope. And sitting down after work to have a beer with video games. I enjoy alone time more than other people evidently.
I enjoy alone time too. But I don't enjoy doing things or going places. If I could just lay in bed forever I would.0 -
I too suffer from severe depression. You need to see a doctor. If you already are and you have been on meds for 6 weeks or more without improvement you need to go back. It sucks when the motivation is gone to have to fight for treatment but if you do nothing else you have to find a way to do this. You are worth it.
I see my dr regularly. I've been medicated for years and tried them all. I wish they could just cure it instead of treating it.0 -
kiramckell wrote: »King_Spicy wrote: »I really don't have any advice that should be taken seriously. I've never felt depression before because I simply just don't give a *kitten* about anything. But hobbies maybe? Find something to get into like photography, video games, art, hiking, etc. It's my way of escaping the work and family life and having me time.
Kayaking by myself, going hiking and rock climbing and bringing a camera along, going snowboarding and meeting random people on the slope. And sitting down after work to have a beer with video games. I enjoy alone time more than other people evidently.
I enjoy alone time too. But I don't enjoy doing things or going places. If I could just lay in bed forever I would.
Have you tried meditation? I find it really helps me
Headspace is a cool app to get started. If you enjoy alone time then it's perfect. Yoga is pretty cool too for chilling out and it burns those pesky calories I have depression, anxiety and BPD.... It sucks but you're not alone and you can find yourself again 
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I've struggled with depression most of my life. Something a therapist told me once in a critical time for me was that I needed to make my world bigger. Walk some dogs at the shelter, cook, go on a vacation, join a group or club in an activity you enjoy. Your world will get bigger and bigger. But you have to force yourself to do it- no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or how much you don't want to do it. If you don't change, everything will stay the same as it is now. I have been medicated before and it's helped me. I have been medicated and it hasn't helped me. It sounds like you're in a desperate situation, I would seek a dr.'s help and get on some meds for the time being so you can feel stabilized enough to work.0
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I haven't read all of the other comments, so this may be completely different than what the others have said. If you are looking for a more natural approach. Essential oils have helped me greatly with my depression and anxiety. I put them in my defuser, then lay down and try to relax for about 20 minutes or so to breathing the smell of the oil. if I'm having a really bad day I will wear them in a defuser necklace, that way I have the oils with me all day. Grapefruit oil is seems to work best for me. I don't have any sound Dr advice to back it up, this is what works for me.4
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I haven't read all of the other comments, so this may be completely different than what the others have said. If you are looking for a more natural approach. Essential oils have helped me greatly with my depression and anxiety. I put them in my defuser, then lay down and try to relax for about 20 minutes or so to breathing the smell of the oil. if I'm having a really bad day I will wear them in a defuser necklace, that way I have the oils with me all day. Grapefruit oil is seems to work best for me. I don't have any sound Dr advice to back it up, this is what works for me.
I'm going to try this! Can you buy diffuser necklaces? 0 -
Keep seeing your doctor and taking medication. You should check out mindfulness. Do some reading on what it is and what it can do for you. There's a great mindfulness app that has guided meditations to help you learn about it. Besides that, hopefully you have a good therapist who can help retrain your brain. It's a serious thing, be patient and things will get better.2
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It is difficult, but also encouraging for me, too see all the other people who suffer from major depression and are working on living out their lives as best they can. I too have tried 'all the meds'. It took me 25 years to find the right med combo and even it doesn't 'cure' anything, but only makes it bearable. I really feel your pain; I know what it is like to not want to leave the house and do anything, but rather live in the 'cloud of nothingness'. You have to fight for yourself, and with depression, every day is a fight. I would recommend counseling as a support mechanism. I found a counselor who helped me improve the aspects of my life; instead of focusing on my depression, we would tackle projects, such as financial, spiritual, physical, organizational areas of my life that needed help. The more I get these areas of my life in balance, it does ease up the depression somewhat, clear my head. Try to work on something, every day, for 10 minutes. Tackle a project, take a walk, pray, clean out a drawer; just force yourself to give 10 minutes towards a goal in your life. Do something, every day, even for 10 minutes. 10 minutes for you, even if you have to force yourself, and you often will have to. It seems like a small thing, but this is the best advice I can give you. I've been improving my life 10 minutes a day for years. It is what keeps my sanity, a small achievement every day. Just don't give up. Ever. We are worth the work.1
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Have you considered volunteering part time for an organization that works in a field that interests you? I know it's hard to be interested in much of anything while depressed, but if you can think back to a time you were happy and think about what would've gotten your spark going, you can call them and ask if they'd like a hand.
For me, isolating myself and laying around in a repeating cycle of sleep and painful circular thoughts are things I feel like I need to do--but if I do them, I get worse, feel worse, and it's harder to dig out the longer I do it. Come on out and join us if you can--we're waiting for you and we have tedious tasks to keep you out of your head! Not to mention, reliably volunteering can help other people (or animals!), making you feel better in return, and it can open new worlds up to you.0 -
kiramckell wrote: »I too suffer from severe depression. You need to see a doctor. If you already are and you have been on meds for 6 weeks or more without improvement you need to go back. It sucks when the motivation is gone to have to fight for treatment but if you do nothing else you have to find a way to do this. You are worth it.
I see my dr regularly. I've been medicated for years and tried them all. I wish they could just cure it instead of treating it.
The way I see it, the meds aren't really a cure. They are only one important part of the equation. They help you adjust your brain chemistry enough to climb out of the black hole and get you to a place where you can start to make positive changes in your life and deal with underlying issues. If you are responsive to meds (not everybody seems to be) you can lift the depression far enough and long enough to start working "reprogramming" your thought processes. Then you can start establish a healthy, positive relationship with life, which gives you a better chance of long-term healing.
It can take a long time and a lot of work. I can't imagine most people with severe, chemical depression can just decide to do it and do it on their own, though. You need support and a plan for changing the things in your life that are contributing to keeping you depressed. Because just taking meds but making no other changes toward improving your situation usually just leads back to that endless cycle. You'll still be stuck in the same scenario that your brain associates with negativity and depression - which makes it easier to slip back into it. Work with your therapist to figure out what changes in your life - job, education, relationships with others, - would help set you up for success. Good luck! When you're in the midst of it, it feels like depression will never end...like you will be trapped like that forever, hopeless. But it can and will get better. 0 -
tabletop_joe wrote: »Have you considered volunteering part time for an organization that works in a field that interests you? I know it's hard to be interested in much of anything while depressed, but if you can think back to a time you were happy and think about what would've gotten your spark going, you can call them and ask if they'd like a hand.
For me, isolating myself and laying around in a repeating cycle of sleep and painful circular thoughts are things I feel like I need to do--but if I do them, I get worse, feel worse, and it's harder to dig out the longer I do it. Come on out and join us if you can--we're waiting for you and we have tedious tasks to keep you out of your head! Not to mention, reliably volunteering can help other people (or animals!), making you feel better in return, and it can open new worlds up to you.
I actually did used to volunteer at an animal shelter regularly because it helps a lot of people but it didn't really help me. Being out in the world a lot exhausts me and I find that having a lot of alone time is when I start to function a little better.0 -
It is difficult, but also encouraging for me, too see all the other people who suffer from major depression and are working on living out their lives as best they can. I too have tried 'all the meds'. It took me 25 years to find the right med combo and even it doesn't 'cure' anything, but only makes it bearable. I really feel your pain; I know what it is like to not want to leave the house and do anything, but rather live in the 'cloud of nothingness'. You have to fight for yourself, and with depression, every day is a fight. I would recommend counseling as a support mechanism. I found a counselor who helped me improve the aspects of my life; instead of focusing on my depression, we would tackle projects, such as financial, spiritual, physical, organizational areas of my life that needed help. The more I get these areas of my life in balance, it does ease up the depression somewhat, clear my head. Try to work on something, every day, for 10 minutes. Tackle a project, take a walk, pray, clean out a drawer; just force yourself to give 10 minutes towards a goal in your life. Do something, every day, even for 10 minutes. 10 minutes for you, even if you have to force yourself, and you often will have to. It seems like a small thing, but this is the best advice I can give you. I've been improving my life 10 minutes a day for years. It is what keeps my sanity, a small achievement every day. Just don't give up. Ever. We are worth the work.
I do that too! I'll set a timer and force myself to do some housework or something for 10-20 minutes everyday. I just don't see how living this way every day for the rest of my life is worth it you know? If it's not possible to ever actually defeat these illnesses, why try so hard?
I hate how everyone I work with can do this job that we all hate, but still enjoy their lives and I can't. I haven't stayed in the same job for more than 2 years since 2012. I'm always trying to change my situation but that's not the problem. I did have 1 job that I loved, but the company that owned us laid everyone off and disassembled the company. I'm in the same industry but it's so different. Now I'm just another cog in a machine and doing manual labor is wearing on me hard. Sorry to be so long winded. Just venting I guess.0 -
kiramckell wrote: »King_Spicy wrote: »I really don't have any advice that should be taken seriously. I've never felt depression before because I simply just don't give a *kitten* about anything. But hobbies maybe? Find something to get into like photography, video games, art, hiking, etc. It's my way of escaping the work and family life and having me time.
Kayaking by myself, going hiking and rock climbing and bringing a camera along, going snowboarding and meeting random people on the slope. And sitting down after work to have a beer with video games. I enjoy alone time more than other people evidently.
I enjoy alone time too. But I don't enjoy doing things or going places. If I could just lay in bed forever I would.
Have you tried meditation? I find it really helps me Headspace is a cool app to get started. If you enjoy alone time then it's perfect. Yoga is pretty cool too for chilling out and it burns those pesky calories I have depression, anxiety and BPD.... It sucks but you're not alone and you can find yourself again
I used to use headspace! Didn't stay with it though, didn't really notice anything from it.0
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