I'm now "Socially" unbearable to be around and stopped dating and going out

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Replies

  • Sheisinlove109
    Sheisinlove109 Posts: 516 Member
    Eat before you go and just order an ice tea/drink, salad with dressing on side. Keep it simple. For dating, maybe look at the gym where you'll find someone with equal priorities. I agree with above poster, don't talk about weight loss etc unless asked and keep it simple too. I find I get asked a lot but no one ever wants to hear my answer and that is not the research they've done so I must be wrong.

    Be you, be happy.
  • threecharms
    threecharms Posts: 36 Member
    Move to San Francisco. You'd fit right in. In fact, you'd be pretty much exactly average.
  • KingsGirl4
    KingsGirl4 Posts: 152 Member
    To reiterate, I never ever speak about my diet or health and fitness so I don't know why everyone assumes I talk about it.

    All the comments I receive is purely based on what people observe about me.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,683 Member
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    In the lunchroom today, my coworker says to me "oh, salad again today?!"

    This is what's getting to me. In a professional setting, I'm being judged

    I had one who commented on everything I ate for a while. I just kept repeating, "Yes ... I like ___" every single time. After about 3 months, she either finally got it or just got bored with my answer and hasn't commented on anything I eat in months now.

    Perhaps the person is just trying to make conversation.
    Perhaps the person wonders what the secret to losing weight is.

    Who knows ... but from my experience, if you just calmly repeat the same answer over and over and over ... they eventually stop asking.

    As for dating ... you set the ground rules. If you don't want to go out with a guy who drinks, tell the ones who do that they don't meet your qualifications. Be picky.
  • joinn68
    joinn68 Posts: 480 Member
    Vinehausen wrote: »
    'Socially unbearable to be around and stopped dating and going out' - oh this is a lifestyle choice for me :D

    I an INTP. I never even had the choice :smiley:

    OP, you'll survive. (that's my INTP way of saying I understand how that can affect your relationship with your friends. They'll get over it. In the meantime you have plenty of MFP friends here to cheer you up)
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    In the lunchroom today, my coworker says to me "oh, salad again today?!"

    This is what's getting to me. In a professional setting, I'm being judged

    Judged? Or an attempt by a coworker to engage you in conversation? I've found that when I eat in a common area of my workplace with others, it is common for people to come up and comment on your food as an opener. Try responding with "Yeah, I really enjoy the _____ in this salad. What did you bring today?" and you may make a new friend.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited July 2017
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    In the lunchroom today, my coworker says to me "oh, salad again today?!"

    This is what's getting to me. In a professional setting, I'm being judged

    You're being overly sensitive...I just got done heating up my lunch and my boss walked by and said, "what's the veg of the day?" I've been doing this good livin' thing for over 5 years, and people generally know the drill...they know I almost always have some big pile of veg with my lunch...it was just friendly banter and joking...you're taking yourself way to seriously which is maybe why you're getting the eye rolls.
  • timtam163
    timtam163 Posts: 500 Member
    Ew to your immature friend. Tell her it hurts your feelings and beyond that, either she changes or you leave her behind. You deserve support.

    As for the dating thing, of course you're bitter. How can you not get bitter when most people are not worth your time? You are working on self-improvement and most men/people are not; it'll take time to find someone willing and able to be a partner to you. Take a little break from online dating and remember it's ok (preferable in fact) to be picky.

  • KingsGirl4
    KingsGirl4 Posts: 152 Member
    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    In the lunchroom today, my coworker says to me "oh, salad again today?!"

    This is what's getting to me. In a professional setting, I'm being judged

    Judged? Or an attempt by a coworker to engage you in conversation? I've found that when I eat in a common area of my workplace with others, it is common for people to come up and comment on your food as an opener. Try responding with "Yeah, I really enjoy the _____ in this salad. What did you bring today?" and you may make a new friend.

    It's hard to come across through text but when my coworker said "oh, salad again?" it was said with an eyeroll and a tone of voice of making fun of me. I wish it was an attempt for conversation, but it wasn't.
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  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    In the lunchroom today, my coworker says to me "oh, salad again today?!"

    This is what's getting to me. In a professional setting, I'm being judged

    Judged? Or an attempt by a coworker to engage you in conversation? I've found that when I eat in a common area of my workplace with others, it is common for people to come up and comment on your food as an opener. Try responding with "Yeah, I really enjoy the _____ in this salad. What did you bring today?" and you may make a new friend.

    It's hard to come across through text but when my coworker said "oh, salad again?" it was said with an eyeroll and a tone of voice of making fun of me. I wish it was an attempt for conversation, but it wasn't.

    That speaks volumes about them and nothing about you. Making those types of comments along with an eye roll is so incredibly immature on their part. I don't know what her actual intent was and you shouldn't even care.

    I do understand that this is new territory for you and people should have basic manners, whether in the work place or out with friends, but sadly that's not the case. Like I said before, just be consistent and this will get easier over time.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    I eat salad every day for lunch. The same salad from home for the past 6 years. I never get bored of it! Just say something to your co-worker about how you love salad and let it go. My co-workers have commented, but no eye rolling, since I'm the boss. :smile:
  • sweetirish
    sweetirish Posts: 70 Member
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    And as for dating - most guys want to drink alcohol (which I don't) and they literally have told me that it bothers them. They always want to go out to eat and then I can't wolf down drinks, appetizers, a full meal, and then dessert!(and most don't want to share). Guys get really offended when I can't finish that much food.

    I don't know, maybe the city I'm in has too big of a spectrum - one one end, you have guys that just want to drink and eat junk food an then on the other end you have the super fit, gym rats that only date playboy models...


    anyways, that's why I stopped dating.

    These men are not worth your time. I rarely drank on dates before meeting my fiance. He's not a drinker either so it works. I've had MAYBE 3 adult beverages since we met 2 and a half years ago. He's had 1. Don't give up...they're out there.
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