Never able to stick to anything

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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,665 Member
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    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    You definitely right, but I am a all or nothing sort of person which sucks sometimes.
    You are the kind of person you repeatedly tell yourself you are. Stop telling yourself you need babysitting, and that you're an all or nothing sort of person. You control your food intake, and you decide whether or not to exercise. I imagine your goals are way ahead, and result based? Set close goals that are behavior based. And have "strict but flexible" instead of "random but restrictive" rules - set your calorie goal correctly, and aim to hit it within +/- 50, and have something you like every day (preferably for every meal). If you exercise, do something you like - then you'll repeat it, and exercise only works if you keep exercising.
    They say it takes 30 days to be able to break or make a habbit, so the first 30 will be the hardest.
    "They" say a lot of things :D Habits are very complex, and sometimes continuing is way harder than starting. "A good habit" isn't just something you think you should do, it has to be something you really need to do, and something you want to do as well. Pick your habits wisely.

    Everything you said is totallyon board, and i also know already, but its all ways good to hear it from other too, thankyou
    Knowing and DOING are two different things though. Lots of people know what they need to do to lose weight. It's the DOING IT that's the issue.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Yeah definitely, but slowly and surely i will get there to completely understanding and physically doing what i should be doing for my body
    Honestly this just sounds like a pacifying statement. Your initial OP was to "get ready for summer". Now you want to "slowly" get there after some advice.
    I'll give it to you straight. If you REALLY want to achieve something, you apply yourself with commitment to doing it regardless of setbacks and deterrences. That's how successful people overcome failure. So what is your actual plan to do this? Just eat less and hope it happens? You should have a written specific plan of action on how to do it and then apply it consistently. Till you do that, you'll be like a ship without a rudder..............................wandering aimlessly and occasionally hitting land, then back out to sea.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Loving the sarcasm and the straight up.
    Yes i want to get summer body ready. And yes after advise, and own person homework, it will take time, but doesnt mean im any less committed.

    My "actual" plain is to cut out as much sugar as i can. Try eat mainly fruits and vegetables (another reason why ive never full comitted to diets it because im a very fussy eater, but hopefully this will help me and help build up more tastebuds.)
    Exercise as much as i can, not too much where i over do it. Drinking plenty of water.
    Im going for consistency and persistence.
    Happy? Any more criticism?
    Hate to tell you, this is just a cookie cutter plan that practically everyone states they want to do when they want to lose weight. Let me direct you better:


    1. Write it down and keep records (daily if possible)
    Goal
    Milestones
    Daily schedule
    Month to month schedule
    Research to go to if you need help

    2. Be specific in your planning
    Know how you're going to achieve your goal
    Set achievable way to do it
    Implement plan consistently

    3. Set measurable milestones
    It may be weight loss per week (though it's not linear), it may be how much weight you can lift,
    how far you want to run by then, what your clothing size is, etc. Don't get overzealous though.

    4. Schedule how your day goes
    If exercise is going to be part of it, MAKE A SPECIFIC TIME for it. Same with sleep, work, and
    time with family or hobbies.

    5. Put timelines on everything.
    Don't lollygag on something like watching TV too long. It's easy to get lazy if one spends too much
    time on not doing something conducive towards their goal.

    6. Celebrate your successes
    Small ones matter and help create confidence on other harder goals.

    7. Know that there will be obstacles and deterrences and have a back up plan
    Things aren't always in your control, so have options available in case this does happen. My kid
    hasn't stayed home sick for a long time (almost 5 years now), but I do have a plan set aside if she
    does. Same with party invitationals and eating out.

    8. Don't stop till you make it!
    If you follow your plan consistently, you should reach your goal. Even if you don't meet it at the
    proposed timeline, DON'T STOP till you do!

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    edited July 2017
    Options
    Sassybish wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    You definitely right, but I am a all or nothing sort of person which sucks sometimes.
    You are the kind of person you repeatedly tell yourself you are. Stop telling yourself you need babysitting, and that you're an all or nothing sort of person. You control your food intake, and you decide whether or not to exercise. I imagine your goals are way ahead, and result based? Set close goals that are behavior based. And have "strict but flexible" instead of "random but restrictive" rules - set your calorie goal correctly, and aim to hit it within +/- 50, and have something you like every day (preferably for every meal). If you exercise, do something you like - then you'll repeat it, and exercise only works if you keep exercising.
    They say it takes 30 days to be able to break or make a habbit, so the first 30 will be the hardest.
    "They" say a lot of things :D Habits are very complex, and sometimes continuing is way harder than starting. "A good habit" isn't just something you think you should do, it has to be something you really need to do, and something you want to do as well. Pick your habits wisely.

    Everything you said is totallyon board, and i also know already, but its all ways good to hear it from other too, thankyou
    Knowing and DOING are two different things though. Lots of people know what they need to do to lose weight. It's the DOING IT that's the issue.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Yeah definitely, but slowly and surely i will get there to completely understanding and physically doing what i should be doing for my body
    Honestly this just sounds like a pacifying statement. Your initial OP was to "get ready for summer". Now you want to "slowly" get there after some advice.
    I'll give it to you straight. If you REALLY want to achieve something, you apply yourself with commitment to doing it regardless of setbacks and deterrences. That's how successful people overcome failure. So what is your actual plan to do this? Just eat less and hope it happens? You should have a written specific plan of action on how to do it and then apply it consistently. Till you do that, you'll be like a ship without a rudder..............................wandering aimlessly and occasionally hitting land, then back out to sea.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Loving the sarcasm and the straight up.
    Yes i want to get summer body ready. And yes after advise, and own person homework, it will take time, but doesnt mean im any less committed.

    My "actual" plain is to cut out as much sugar as i can. Try eat mainly fruits and vegetables (another reason why ive never full comitted to diets it because im a very fussy eater, but hopefully this will help me and help build up more tastebuds.)
    Exercise as much as i can, not too much where i over do it. Drinking plenty of water.
    Im going for consistency and persistence.
    Happy? Any more criticism?
    You asked for it :D

    Going on diets is almost never a good idea. Don't do it again. You can't "cut sugar and eat mainly fruits and vegetables". There is sugar in fruit and vegetables. Being a fussy eater is not an excuse for being overweight. But trying to stick to strict diets can be partly responsible for your fussiness. Allowing yourself to eat a wide variety of foods you like and being open to try new things, but at the same time not feel forced, will activate your tastebuds, and you will feel more relaxed around new foods, and maybe want to extend your palate.

    Don't exercise as much as you can. Exercise as much as you want and find practical in your daily life. You can always try to figure out how to make more exercise a natural part of your day.

    Consistency and persistence are fine goals. :smile:

    Yes i know sugar is in fruits and veges, but the excess sugar is what im cutting out. And no i will exercise as much as i can, because as much as i want never works, widening my plate isnt what i want. i want to widen my tastebuds in fruit and veges. And they i am going to do that is to restrict my menu and eat what my body needs. Not what it wants, it doesnt help ME. what you suggested might be what worked for you, and others but ive already tried the 'if i want' 'when i want' strategy, and its necer worked. So thankyou for your opinion, but its time to crack down on myself, and limit my eating and what i eat. With an exercise plan. :)

    PALATE....not plate. @kommodevaran was recommending widening "your tastebuds"

    Go on another diet (drastic temporary change in all your habits)...maybe the 10th (or 20th) try will be some kind of permanent fix. Temporary changes are almost NEVER the solution.

    I know the advice you are looking for (what you want to hear) is you are on the right track....just suck it up and do it. But that's not my advice either. My advice is look for permanent changes, because temporary ones never worked for me either. Some 90-95% of people gain the weight back that they lost.
  • Brabo_Grip
    Brabo_Grip Posts: 285 Member
    Options
    You asked for assitance. You have a wealth of people that have made real sustainable changes trying to assist you yet you have to do it "your way."

    Everyone's journey is their own and a cookie cutter approach does not work because everyone's body is a little different. However, there are general truths (the laws of thermodynamics) and strategies (for discipline and consistency) that are applicable to everyone. You have successful people trying to share those. I would suggest you heed them.
  • Sassybish
    Sassybish Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    TeaBea wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    Sassybish wrote: »
    You definitely right, but I am a all or nothing sort of person which sucks sometimes.
    You are the kind of person you repeatedly tell yourself you are. Stop telling yourself you need babysitting, and that you're an all or nothing sort of person. You control your food intake, and you decide whether or not to exercise. I imagine your goals are way ahead, and result based? Set close goals that are behavior based. And have "strict but flexible" instead of "random but restrictive" rules - set your calorie goal correctly, and aim to hit it within +/- 50, and have something you like every day (preferably for every meal). If you exercise, do something you like - then you'll repeat it, and exercise only works if you keep exercising.
    They say it takes 30 days to be able to break or make a habbit, so the first 30 will be the hardest.
    "They" say a lot of things :D Habits are very complex, and sometimes continuing is way harder than starting. "A good habit" isn't just something you think you should do, it has to be something you really need to do, and something you want to do as well. Pick your habits wisely.

    Everything you said is totallyon board, and i also know already, but its all ways good to hear it from other too, thankyou
    Knowing and DOING are two different things though. Lots of people know what they need to do to lose weight. It's the DOING IT that's the issue.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Yeah definitely, but slowly and surely i will get there to completely understanding and physically doing what i should be doing for my body
    Honestly this just sounds like a pacifying statement. Your initial OP was to "get ready for summer". Now you want to "slowly" get there after some advice.
    I'll give it to you straight. If you REALLY want to achieve something, you apply yourself with commitment to doing it regardless of setbacks and deterrences. That's how successful people overcome failure. So what is your actual plan to do this? Just eat less and hope it happens? You should have a written specific plan of action on how to do it and then apply it consistently. Till you do that, you'll be like a ship without a rudder..............................wandering aimlessly and occasionally hitting land, then back out to sea.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Loving the sarcasm and the straight up.
    Yes i want to get summer body ready. And yes after advise, and own person homework, it will take time, but doesnt mean im any less committed.

    My "actual" plain is to cut out as much sugar as i can. Try eat mainly fruits and vegetables (another reason why ive never full comitted to diets it because im a very fussy eater, but hopefully this will help me and help build up more tastebuds.)
    Exercise as much as i can, not too much where i over do it. Drinking plenty of water.
    Im going for consistency and persistence.
    Happy? Any more criticism?
    You asked for it :D

    Going on diets is almost never a good idea. Don't do it again. You can't "cut sugar and eat mainly fruits and vegetables". There is sugar in fruit and vegetables. Being a fussy eater is not an excuse for being overweight. But trying to stick to strict diets can be partly responsible for your fussiness. Allowing yourself to eat a wide variety of foods you like and being open to try new things, but at the same time not feel forced, will activate your tastebuds, and you will feel more relaxed around new foods, and maybe want to extend your palate.

    Don't exercise as much as you can. Exercise as much as you want and find practical in your daily life. You can always try to figure out how to make more exercise a natural part of your day.

    Consistency and persistence are fine goals. :smile:

    Yes i know sugar is in fruits and veges, but the excess sugar is what im cutting out. And no i will exercise as much as i can, because as much as i want never works, widening my plate isnt what i want. i want to widen my tastebuds in fruit and veges. And they i am going to do that is to restrict my menu and eat what my body needs. Not what it wants, it doesnt help ME. what you suggested might be what worked for you, and others but ive already tried the 'if i want' 'when i want' strategy, and its necer worked. So thankyou for your opinion, but its time to crack down on myself, and limit my eating and what i eat. With an exercise plan. :)

    PALATE....not plate. @kommodevaran was recommending widening "your tastebuds"

    Go on another diet (drastic temporary change in all your habits)...maybe the 10th (or 20th) try will be some kind of permanent fix. Temporary changes are almost NEVER the solution.

    I know the advice you are looking for (what you want to hear) is you are on the right track....just suck it up and do it. But that's not my advice either. My advice is look for permanent changes, because temporary ones never worked for me either. Some 90-95% of people gain the weight back that they lost.

    It is plate btw, how we spell it here. Thankyou though, im hoping my plan I've set is a good plan for me to stick to, so far so good. I've appreciated everyones advice, and after i put this up, I've was actively looking other places too, and taken on some advise, thats been advertised here and other websites.
  • Sassybish
    Sassybish Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    Brabo_Grip wrote: »
    You asked for assitance. You have a wealth of people that have made real sustainable changes trying to assist you yet you have to do it "your way."

    Everyone's journey is their own and a cookie cutter approach does not work because everyone's body is a little different. However, there are general truths (the laws of thermodynamics) and strategies (for discipline and consistency) that are applicable to everyone. You have successful people trying to share those. I would suggest you heed them.

    I've appreciated everyones advice, and after i put this up, I've was actively looking other places too, and taken on some advise, thats been advertised here and other websites. im hoping my plan I've set is a good plan for me to stick to, so far so good.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    Options
    It has to be part of your lifestyle, you're not breaking an old habit, you're making new good habits. I now have a habit of logging all food and exercise on MFP, of going to zumba and clubbercise classes, of doing a short workout most mornings (so at least I've done something!). These habits I have now stuck to for over 4 years.

    Doesn't mean I don't have days when I over-indulge, but I log them and work to recover from the lost ground.
    Its easy to say "I need/deserve..." a particular treat. But DO you need/deserve it? If you do then are you prepared to do some extra exercise to "earn" it, or to go without something else so it fits in with your calorie goals? You have to be prepared to be honest with yourself, to "have a word with yourself". People here can support you and advise you, but only YOU can actually do the exercise, to make the changes to YOUR diet.
  • LizbethHeller
    LizbethHeller Posts: 39 Member
    Options
    Having people on the Internet 'keeping an eye on me' would help me not at all. I just wouldn't log in. Socializing is fine, but they aren't here, ya know? And making a small change like cutting out soda... it backfires for me, too; my trickster brain tells me that I haven't had any soda today so I can go ahead and buy that cupcake.

    What really motivates me is results. I have to force myself to stick with logging calories for a week or so to start, but when the scale starts to edge down, the motivation to keep the momentum going is there! Now I'm having trouble convincing myself to take a cheat day (that I badly need. LOL)
  • Sassybish
    Sassybish Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    Having people on the Internet 'keeping an eye on me' would help me not at all. I just wouldn't log in. Socializing is fine, but they aren't here, ya know? And making a small change like cutting out soda... it backfires for me, too; my trickster brain tells me that I haven't had any soda today so I can go ahead and buy that cupcake.

    What really motivates me is results. I have to force myself to stick with logging calories for a week or so to start, but when the scale starts to edge down, the motivation to keep the momentum going is there! Now I'm having trouble convincing myself to take a cheat day (that I badly need. LOL)

    Thats awesome that you've gotten to the point of just doing now, instead of trying :)
  • drbeanie2000
    drbeanie2000 Posts: 81 Member
    Options
    I'd add that rather than "finding an exercise I love," I just say to myself, "So it's not fun, so what? It's just something I need to do and it won't take that long." Otherwise I just keep casting around for "fun" activities and there aren't many active things I could enjoy for X minutes Y times a week.
  • MikeEsko
    MikeEsko Posts: 81 Member
    Options
    Hey. We all have to start at the beginning. If anyone can snap our fingers and be wherr we wanted, this site wouldnt exist. But it does and we can dnap day and night, it isnt going to get you where you want to be.

    The best way to do this is when you want it. When you can say at this time nezt week, next months, 3 months from now, i want to be a lean, mean, fit machine and your willing to pass on the soda for water or say no to the birthday cake... that is when you succeed.

    Feel free to add me and we can set smaller goals and work together to get there.