Feeling frustrated with my family
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imanibelle
Posts: 130 Member
I live with my dad and am in training for a job. I won't get my first check till the first of next month. I'm trying to eat healthier while counting calories, though I still eat stuff like sugar and rice or bread or junk in moderation. I currently depend on my parents for food and appreciate their help, but the healthiest things available to me to eat in this house are four things - fruit, oatmeal, eggs and fish, and even the last two aren't always available. There's been no fish for days. But I'm ok with that and just make do with what is in the house. What is starting to frustrate me is that we're a fat family, with my parents being morbidly obese and me being in the 180s now (was 240), and my parents eat nothing but takeout, fried foods, and sugar, butter and cheese laden simple carbs, but my dad has a problem with the way I eat. He says he plans to change his diet and cut out the "bad" foods and buy a bunch of nutritious stuff, but hasn't chosen to start yet. But meanwhile, I'm hearing from him that the way I eat isn't healthy. He sometimes feels the need to remind me that the one serving of plain rice with no butter or oil that I put with my fish or eggs isn't healthy (I'm aware of that, but I don't have that many food options) and also insists that oatmeal and eggs are unhealthy, too. He even told me yesterday that NOTHING I eat is healthy, but when I asked him to explain, he just kept insisting nothing I eat is healthy and then asked me what I ate today when I asked him to explain again. I told him i eat the healthy stuff that's available here, and he's like, "Oh. Well, eggs and oatmeal aren't healthy. Neither is rice." I don't get that. If he's worried about health and wants to make a change, why is everything in the house, besides the eggs and oatmeal and fish and fruit, fried stuff and sugar, buttery stuff? Would he rather I eat what he eats than eat what Im eating now? And if hes worried, why does he offer me sugar and butter laden hot cereal, French toast, fried chicken or fish, pizza and tea thats syrupy with sugar all the time, even though I almost always say no? It's just frustrating. Am I wrong to feel frustrated?
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Replies
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And before anyone answers saying, "Just move out," yes, I plan to when I can. Just feeling a bit frustrated right now.6
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Well food is food.
There are low calorie foods and calorie dense foods.
Nothing is wrong with sugar, bread and rice.
Pizza is just cheese sauce bread and meat, which is not junk, in my opinion.
It's all a matter of portions13 -
I hope this does not turn into a thread about whether or not it's ok to eat pizza. No offense, but this is not what I asked about. I know it's ok to eat pizza in moderation, but I'm frustrated with being offered pizza and fried,chicken, but being told it's unhealthy to eat eggs or oatmeal. I guess it's just a vent.12
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You just need to work with what you have until you have your paycheck and can start being responsible for your own grocery shopping. Can you go shopping with them and pick out a few low cost fresh things for yourself?5
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I give up. I don't think anyone understands what's frustrating me. It's just a dumb rant. Thanks to those who replied, but I'm out.7
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I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.4
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"Am I wrong to feel frustrated?"
No but you can't control others and what they say.
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Joanna2012B wrote: »I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.
I have done research. Now please explain why eggs and oatmeal are bad for you.1 -
Obviously you're doing something right, you lost 60 pounds. Which is no small feat.7
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Joanna2012B wrote: »I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.
So much nope.
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imanibelle wrote: »Joanna2012B wrote: »I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.
I have done research. Now please explain why eggs and oatmeal are bad for you.
I think she made a typo and meant to agree with you that your food choices are healthy and you could print out something to this effect for your father to read.8 -
There;s definitely an issue with your father that unfortunately cannot be dealt with because you live in his household. Sounds like him telling you that everything you eat is bad, even when you've made an attempt to lose weight, is one of those "misery loves company" ordeals. It sounds like he just wants you to give up and be like him. The fact that he is playing mind games with you is childish and annoying,. He should want you to succeed, but it sounds like he doesn't want you to, which is sad. Unfortunately, you're going to have to fight the minds games and do the absolute best you can until you can afford to buy different foods for yourself. Don't lose help. Just do the best you can./5
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Do your best, lead by example, try to not have these conversations with your parents. They need to have their own "time to change" moment. Right now you are relying on them and quite frankly sound like you don't appreciate that. I get that you're frustrated, but this is who they are right now. You are the one changing and that probably scares them a bit. You're becoming your own person.7
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imanibelle wrote: »I hope this does not turn into a thread about whether or not it's ok to eat pizza. No offense, but this is not what I asked about. I know it's ok to eat pizza in moderation, but I'm frustrated with being offered pizza and fried,chicken, but being told it's unhealthy to eat eggs or oatmeal. I guess it's just a vent.
I understand your frustration. I imagine it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to get your father to change his mind and I personally wouldn't even bother.
Does your mom do the shopping? Can you go with her? If you request items, will she get them?3 -
To me it sounds like your dad likes to be right. I have a dad like that. Nodding and agreement are the only way to get by. The only person who can cgange his mind is him.
You are doing great portioning out your food("healthy" or not) to fit in a correct calorie range for you! Keep at it! And I would suggest avoiding discussions about food choices with your dad.10 -
kshama2001 wrote: »imanibelle wrote: »Joanna2012B wrote: »I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.
I have done research. Now please explain why eggs and oatmeal are bad for you.
I think she made a typo and meant to agree with you that your food choices are healthy and you could print out something to this effect for your father to read.
Thank you @kshama2001, yes typo!1 -
imanibelle wrote: »I give up. I don't think anyone understands what's frustrating me. It's just a dumb rant. Thanks to those who replied, but I'm out.
what kind of responses were you hoping for?? people told you to work with what you have while you are there...what else were you hoping to hear??15 -
Joanna2012B wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »imanibelle wrote: »Joanna2012B wrote: »I say just do your time while you are there. Continue to be thankful of his assistance. Maintain eating what you believe is right with what you have available. When dad is telling you his opinion just nod and say thank you. Once you are out on your own you can decide what foods you buy and put in your body. Unfortunately you will have people telling you that some of what you have listed like Eggs, Oatmeal and Rice are healthy options. I am thinking that maybe you need to some research on healthy options and portions. Maybe if you happen to print it and leave it somewhere that dad can read he may lay off a little.
I have done research. Now please explain why eggs and oatmeal are bad for you.
I think she made a typo and meant to agree with you that your food choices are healthy and you could print out something to this effect for your father to read.
Thank you @kshama2001, yes typo!
@Joanna2012B I think you still have time to edit it1 -
Actually to be exact, I mis-read what she had said. I thought she was agreeing that those choices were unhealthy.0
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imanibelle wrote: »I hope this does not turn into a thread about whether or not it's ok to eat pizza. No offense, but this is not what I asked about. I know it's ok to eat pizza in moderation, but I'm frustrated with being offered pizza and fried,chicken, but being told it's unhealthy to eat eggs or oatmeal. I guess it's just a vent.
The only non-rhetorical question I saw in your thread was whether it's okay to feel frustrated. And yes, that's okay.
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