I no longer have anything to motivate me, but I haven't reached my goal weight.

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Replies

  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    We are all in this together. Right now I'm playing the role of Eeyore...

    Made me laugh at least :)
  • bonnielee708
    bonnielee708 Posts: 65 Member
    @PrincessTinyHeart Re not buying the minute we get the idea we want something is a great question and one I am not sure how to answer easily but it may be easier because I am a self-employed writer and my husband runs a creative video shop. We both have decent by unpredictable revenue flowing in, so we are afraid to spend cash, just in case market tanks or exchanges rates move the wrong way. If we want something for us, not for work, it is a big deal. How will it affect our ability to pay taxes or cover a dry spell? So it is really a treat when we buy something just for us.

    But, given your age and some of the things you are saying about motivation, maybe you are peri-menopausal? Perhaps you should talk to your doctor and see if hormone shifts are part of the challenge you are having now--such changes have made it hard for me to stay focused and motivated.

    Just a thought.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    Feh... my husband doesn't care if I wear a bikini or not. Even that isn't a motivator.

    I might try doing a diet bet. I don't have the money to go on a vacation or anything like that. Maybe the fear of losing what little I do have might force me to lose the extra weight.

    I do some exercise, but it's a chore and nothing more. It doesn't help me feel better mentally. I go to the gym and do cardio... I lift weights but nothing heavy yet. I go for walks. But it's just sort of a maintenance chore for me. I have resigned myself to the fact that it's what I have to do to keep from getting fat again. That's why I wonder if I have a really low endorphin level... or whatever the chemical is that makes people feel good after exercise.
  • melissaulmen
    melissaulmen Posts: 123 Member
    Have you ever tried Charity walks. Even if the workout does not make you feel good, maybe doing it for a good cause will.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Do you have really cool gym clothes? Enjoy the music they play there? Like the shampoo they have in the showers in the locker room?
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    deannalfisher wrote: »
    sounds like external motivation - sports, bikini etc isn't for you - is there anything internal motivation that will help you - because otherwise you are essentially just whining

    It probably is whining (no, that's not my internal motivation, LOL). I can either whine out loud and try to figure things out, or whine internally and get nowhere. This is my process for trying to figure out what my internal motivation is. I don't know at this point. That's why I posted this.

  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    MostlyWater wrote: »
    Do you have really cool gym clothes? Enjoy the music they play there? Like the shampoo they have in the showers in the locker room?

    Yeah, I like my gym clothes. I don't listen to the music they play there because I listen to my own... I am always making new, fresh playlists to listen to and this keeps me distracted to a certain extent. They don't offer shampoo so I bring my own :)
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »

    Sounds more like a mid life crisis than an issue with your weight

    I have actually considered this to be a possibility, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    melissaulmen wrote: »
    Have you ever tried Charity walks. Even if the workout does not make you feel good, maybe doing it for a good cause will.

    Yeah, I do those every so often. In fact, I just did one a few weeks ago (for mental health awareness - the irony is not lost on me). The walks are surprisingly short... they last maybe 20-30 ininutes, tops. the first time I did one, I did not realize this, and prepared myself for something around 5K... one time around a block and it was all over. LOL.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    In the end, you have to do what makes you happy. Personally, I mostly hate exercising because for me, with COPD, it can be incredibly uncomfortable and I am always breathless. However, I made it my goal to strive for fitness and strength because the alternative is going into my later years without the core strength to protect my joints. I have been informed by several in the fitness industry that it is very important as you get older to do everything you can to maintain muscle and so that is my goal. I want to do all I can to avoid later issues with my joints and bones. Of course, I also want to do all I can to slow down the progress of my lung disease which is another big motivating factor.

    I am also a creative person who loves books, art, embroidery and the gentler things in life but I found that keeping fit is a very good way of improving mood and I suppose, in contrast to you, I am quite competitive.

    Maybe your goal should simply be to do all you can to preserve and improve your health because in the end, we cannot get back our health once we have lost it and we never know when something will come along that will require us to be in peak health.
  • ElizabethHanrahan
    ElizabethHanrahan Posts: 102 Member
    You said that you like to garden. Is there something that you haven't gotten for your garden that you could put money aside for as a reward? Maybe a raised garden bed or a greenhouse? You could put $20 in the bank for every pound lost, At the end of the 20 pounds you would have $400 saved for something big. I don't know where you live, so this might not work.
  • HeliumIsNoble
    HeliumIsNoble Posts: 1,213 Member
    Could work, yeah.

    I would always recommend finding an activity that appeals to you enough for you to want to improve at it. It doesn't have to be competitive, just something that will give you immense satisfaction. The sky's the limit: ballet, rock climbing, gymnastics routines, contemporary dance, picking up heavy things and putting them down again, roller derby, martial arts, or pole dancing.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    ElizabethHanrahan wrote: »
    You said that you like to garden. Is there something that you haven't gotten for your garden that you could put money aside for as a reward? Maybe a raised garden bed or a greenhouse? You could put $20 in the bank for every pound lost, At the end of the 20 pounds you would have $400 saved for something big. I don't know where you live, so this might not work.

    I don't have the discipline for this. In the past, I have tried the whole monetary rewards system... the problem is, I just go ahead and spend the money on myself whether I meet my goal or not :smiley: LOL If I have the money, it will get spent.
  • shan11180
    shan11180 Posts: 110 Member
    Have you ever tried dietbet? https://www.dietbet.com/

    You bet on a goal (can be as little as $20) but the money received when attaining your goal is MUCH more than your original bet. (The pot is split up between all the 'winners') Maybe someone already recommended this and I didn't see the thread, but thought I'd throw it out there. :smile:
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    I had a sudden epiphany a few minutes ago...

    I remember seeing some women at an outdoor festival doing pole dancing routines and thought it looked really awesome and a lot of fun. They teach a class not far from my house... I wonder if this could be a motivator for me? It's not competitive, it's a solo endeavor and allows for improvement and growth, and it looks like it would be a good upper body workout.

    ?????

    Yes! Pole is an awesome workout (I'm assuming based on other aerial experience as I've never actually tried it). You should take a trial class at least! OR...sign up for a full session so that you feel obligated to go. If you really like it, it might motivate you to work on your upper body strength so that you can do cool tricks.

    Oh, another option to think of is self defense. I used to take Krav Maga and loved it. Not only is it a great workout, but knowing how to kick *kitten* as a woman is never a bad thing.
  • dmwh142
    dmwh142 Posts: 72 Member
    There are two things I can think of to motivate you. 1. If you are truly overweight then think about the damage carrying around that extra weight will do to your body. For me this works like this: I'm 55 but my children tell me I will not have grandchildren for another 10 years. I really want to be able to enjoy my grand children so I need to maintain my weight loss and keep active. 2. There was a post on here a while back titled "What is you Why?" There were some really great reasons listed there.
    If none of that helps you might just need to maintain for a few months and then pick it back up. I wish you happiness in your journey.
  • NEOHgirl
    NEOHgirl Posts: 237 Member
    [/quote]

    I am at a point in my life where I'm trying to discover who I am but not sure if I'm happy with what I'm finding out. Sadly, I'm 45, not 15. I'm supposed to have all of this figured out by now :( but instead I seem to be regressing. This really resonated with me.[/quote]

    This might be part of the issue - we all do such a good job of hiding our struggles from everyone else that you think you should have it all figured out. NO ONE DOES! We're all just doing the best we can, figuring it out as we go. Our lives change, our bodies change, our knowledge changes, our opinions and beliefs can change, no one should think they have it ALL figured out. We're constantly changing & reassessing, so what worked 10 or 20 years ago might not be the right fit this time around. I'm also sure all of us have dealt with feeling inadequate at times when we feel like we don't have it all settled. We need to give ourselves a break.

    I like the idea of you taking a maintenance break, even if it's just a week or two. I've had depressed periods of my life, and it's difficult to see past the depression or sadness to get to solutions. Give yourself time to process the emotions, and see if you can turn off your inner Debbie Downer and consciously work on being more gentle with yourself, and focusing on your accomplishments. Maybe with a more positive, or at least less internally judgmental mindset, you might get a new perspective and find a new sense of purpose on your path to a healthier you.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Maybe you need to slow down your efforts. For me, the process of losing weight is only marginally different from maintaining. Granted, I endeavour to lose very slowly. You're still going to need to pay attention to all the things you paid attention to while losing. For me that was things like eating more protein and more fruits/veggies than I did previously, quantity obviously, and enough cardio that my mood stays up and I sleep at night. If you were to stop now, what would be your motivation to not fall into habits that result in regaining?
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    I had a sudden epiphany a few minutes ago...

    I remember seeing some women at an outdoor festival doing pole dancing routines and thought it looked really awesome and a lot of fun. They teach a class not far from my house... I wonder if this could be a motivator for me? It's not competitive, it's a solo endeavor and allows for improvement and growth, and it looks like it would be a good upper body workout.

    ?????

    I think that sounds like a great thing to try and you are right in that it is not competitive but it would give you a real sense of accomplishment. In the end, you have nothing to lose in having a go and seeing how you like it. It is also quite artistic in its own sense but at the same time would require a level of concentration. I would be interested to hear how you get on should you take this path.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I see a bunch of smart people have already suggested what I was going to.

    Change your goal. Forget the last 20. Find your fit where you are. I sign up for charity runs. Find something more challenging next time. I prefer fitness goals because they help me do more stuff, and that is something glorious I got out of my weight loss. I want to keep doing cool stuff.

    Follow your heart in to the pole dancing.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    You may not be motivated you just may have reached if you want to call it a burnout phase. If you're happy where you are now why don't you take a break maintain and see how that goes.

    It took me 8 months to lose approximately 80 lb I've been maintaining that for approximately 10 + months. I decided to take the summer off. And enjoy myself normally I go to the gym four to five times a week but I guess I just got burned out. I'm also an avid golfer but I've had no one to play this year so I haven't.

    What I have decided to do is sit on the beach listen to the radio drink a couple beers and hang around with my friends. I'm starting to get the bug back to hit the gym again and I think I'm going to go back no I know I'm going to go back beginning of September.

    Something else remember weight is just a number. It's more important how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror and if you're happy with Where You Are don't worry about the number
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    jennybearlv wrote: »
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    I can understand not being motivated by sports. It's important to understand that not everyone has the same interests. In fact I understand it very well because I exercise for the food and for my mental health, that's it. I enjoy the high running gives me, but I have no plan or desire to run a marathon. I hate lifting so I don't lift. I believe nothing is wrong with me for not posting my instagram fitness photos or facebook updates with my fitness endeavors, in fact I don't even have an instagram account. I'm just not like some people, and some people are just not like me. That's how being human works. The sooner you accept that there is nothing wrong with you the sooner you will reach that head calm about who you are and what YOU want to do. Just do the things you enjoy, and lose weight if you want, don't lose it if you don't, or delay that decision altogether until you're in a more suitable position to make it.

    For what it's worth, I had a moment where I was just not willing to continue losing. I starting losing for my blood sugar and once that was sorted I was just not as keen on continuing, so I took a break. I was still obese, so I knew I needed to lose more, but I figured stressing over that tug-o-war between what I knew I needed to do and what I was willing to do was not worth it and was not going to get me results anyway. I maintained for a long time (about 8 months) before it clicked in my brain again and I decided to continue losing. I do not regret it for one second. If anything, I learned a lot about maintenance and it has given me hope that I am capable of maintaining and boosted my confidence. Even after that break my loss has been slow and intermittent. I lose a bit, maintain a bit, gain (on purpose) a bit, and in the end I'm making overall progress. I used to scold myself for not losing 100 lbs in a year like some success stories here, but I just had to accept that I'm not someone else and I'm happy with how I am and how I'm doing things. I'm in no rush, so any progress is progress. I'm just living life like I normally would at this point, with weight loss being part of it sometimes and other times not.

    Thank you for this post. This may not be my thread, but I am so glad I've read everything here. I've been telling myself the story that I had this awesome six months, then haven't been able to get back on that wagon for five months. Really demotivating. Looking at the last five months and realizing I've maintained the same weight within ten pounds is really amazing. I think I need to just keep doing what I'm doing and be ready when my motivation to lose shows up again. I see lots of success stories of people losing over 100 pounds a year and think that should be me. But, I also see success stories where people lose their weight over many years and I think I need to recognize how impressive those accomplishments are as well.

    I'm glad this was helpful. Sometimes we're just too hard on ourselves and we fail to recognize how awesome we are. Having maintained for 5 months you've already accomplished a lot, and whenever you're ready to lose again all you'll have to do is continue where you left off. It has taken me nearly 5 years to lose what I've lost so far (120 lbs). That involved one major uncontrolled regain of about 40 pounds which I had to lose again, but even that I feel was awesome because I have been able to learn what things contributed to it and was able to develop countermeasures which work brilliantly now. The only regains now are deliberate, very small, and controlled, mostly during holidays where I choose to gain a bit. Give yourself the credit you deserve.
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