Feeling deprived
Replies
-
I do know how you feel. That feeling of deprivation is very frustrating because it feels like someone is punishing you or like you're a kid whose been grounded on prom night. You have to delve a little deeper into your emotional state to discover why you feel this way. Perhaps you've been using food or a particular food to comfort yourself, relieve stress or "reward" yourself in some way? You are making good choices in wanting to lose weight and eat healthier but those choices don't have the same instant "payoff" that a big bar of chocolate has, so I get it. The good choice "payoff" takes a lot, lot longer and is slower to achieve, meanwhile, your psyche feels like it needs a "reward" now!
What I did to avert that was to reframe what a "reward" meant to me. Maybe, rather than chocolate, reward or pamper yourself with a bubble bath, complete with scented candles and your favorite soft music followed by curling up in your fluffy bathrobe with a cup of hot tea and an old movie. Or maybe, stop by the market on the way home and buy yourself an inexpensive bouquet of flowers or stop by a store and pick out some new makeup or a new hair color. These are all ways to reward yourself and get that instant feeling of comfort without making it about food.
You also have to ask yourself, why eating "whatever I want" makes you feel in control. Did someone in your life tell you to lose weight, restrict what you eat or try to control your diet? If so, eating "whatever I want" may be a subconscious way of saying "I'll show you!" to whoever in your life is (or was) in a position of control over you. Dig deeper and you may find your answer to why you feel emotionally deprived.4 -
Iamnotasenior wrote: »I do know how you feel. That feeling of deprivation is very frustrating because it feels like someone is punishing you or like you're a kid whose been grounded on prom night. You have to delve a little deeper into your emotional state to discover why you feel this way. Perhaps you've been using food or a particular food to comfort yourself, relieve stress or "reward" yourself in some way? You are making good choices in wanting to lose weight and eat healthier but those choices don't have the same instant "payoff" that a big bar of chocolate has, so I get it. The good choice "payoff" takes a lot, lot longer and is slower to achieve, meanwhile, your psyche feels like it needs a "reward" now!
What I did to avert that was to reframe what a "reward" meant to me. Maybe, rather than chocolate, reward or pamper yourself with a bubble bath, complete with scented candles and your favorite soft music followed by curling up in your fluffy bathrobe with a cup of hot tea and an old movie. Or maybe, stop by the market on the way home and buy yourself an inexpensive bouquet of flowers or stop by a store and pick out some new makeup or a new hair color. These are all ways to reward yourself and get that instant feeling of comfort without making it about food.
You also have to ask yourself, why eating "whatever I want" makes you feel in control. Did someone in your life tell you to lose weight, restrict what you eat or try to control your diet? If so, eating "whatever I want" may be a subconscious way of saying "I'll show you!" to whoever in your life is (or was) in a position of control over you. Dig deeper and you may find your answer to why you feel emotionally deprived.
Wonderful post. Thank you!1 -
Ugh. This thread got nasty quick.
I agree with those who recommend increasing your activity to allow for your favorite things. It's a good approach for those of us with low TDEEs who want to avoid becoming a joyless ascetic (aka adult).
2 -
InkAndApples wrote: »
Actually I think that's one of the best posts I've read on MFP - when I was fat (and I finally think I no longer am) it was because I genuinely acted like a kid with food - I'd only eat precisely what I wanted (oh there's "nothing to eat" despite having stocked fridge, freezer and cupboards, so I guess I'll have to order pizza for the fourth time this week) and I never, ever told myself "no", hence the habitual having of two desserts.
It was only having a toddler and giving him boundaries about what he can and cannot eat for the good of his health (no you may NOT have smarties as a breakfast food) that made me realise maybe I needed to be an actual adult and do the same for myself.
yup - sometimes tough love needs to be tough - and you can't sugar coat the truth3 -
Interesting discussion!0
-
I appreciate the helpful suggestions - thank you, it really made me feel better and I'm looking forward to trying them out, and exploring avenues to help me cope with my new lifestyle more easily.I'll apologize in advance. Grow up.
Honestly even as adults, I don't think we can always control the way we feel about things. If we could, then we would surely never be sad, heartbroken, angry - all negative feelings we can't help having throughout our adult life, but which I presume the majority of us would prefer not to feel.
What we can do, however, is devise ways to cope with these feelings if we are unhappy about having them, and this is what I'm trying to do. For this reason, I didn't find your post particularly helpful, however if others did, that's completely fine - we all see things differently.
3 -
I cut out most added sweets because I have a medical problem. I tapered off them with a shake with chocolate in it -- that helped me in the beginning. I went through a period of craving and fortunately the cravings went away.
I think treats are very important to keep us sane. I tried sugarfree chocolate and other candy, but didn't like the way it tastes, plus it still has loads of calories. Sugarfree gum, though (Orbit brand), helped me.
Fat in my diet really helped, like almonds and avocado in my salads. My main treats are limited fruit.
The mindset change suggestions are true. You can psyche yourself into wanting something else more than the candy and give yourself nonfood treats. You might try a beautiful new water bottle or coffee/tea thermos, exercise clothes or shoes, or a bike or other equipment.
0 -
I used to feel deprived all the time. When I started to do OMAD, one meal a day, I found that I could eat huge amounts of anything in one sitting, including chocolate or desserts. Eating all your Calories once a day instead of spreading it out throughout the day made me satisfied. Then I fast for 23 hours or so. But knowing that I can eat like that again keeps me looking forward to the next day. Maybe IF or omad may be helpful in allowing you to feel not so deprived.0
-
I used to feel deprived all the time. When I started to do OMAD, one meal a day, I found that I could eat huge amounts of anything in one sitting, including chocolate or desserts. Eating all your Calories once a day instead of spreading it out throughout the day made me satisfied. Then I fast for 23 hours or so. But knowing that I can eat like that again keeps me looking forward to the next day. Maybe IF or omad may be helpful in allowing you to feel not so deprived.
For me, I don't think stuffing myself once a day and then going without for the rest of the time would be enjoyable or healthy.0 -
I couldn't eat once a day. Once I'm full I have to stop. Then a couple of hours later I would be hungry again. So I could easily eat my day's calories three times over with an extra snack or two if I wasn't kept busy! And I'm not nice to be around if I'm hungry.....0
-
arabianhorselover wrote: »I used to feel deprived all the time. When I started to do OMAD, one meal a day, I found that I could eat huge amounts of anything in one sitting, including chocolate or desserts. Eating all your Calories once a day instead of spreading it out throughout the day made me satisfied. Then I fast for 23 hours or so. But knowing that I can eat like that again keeps me looking forward to the next day. Maybe IF or omad may be helpful in allowing you to feel not so deprived.
For me, I don't think stuffing myself once a day and then going without for the rest of the time would be enjoyable or healthy.
It may not be enjoyable to you, but please don't call it "not healthy".. you have to get the mentally out of your head that it's somehow healthy to eat 3-6 times a day. That's BS!
3 -
That is why I don't feel deprived, and you do.. there is something missing or wrong about what you are doing for your health. You shouldn't feel "deprived".1
-
arabianhorselover wrote: »I used to feel deprived all the time. When I started to do OMAD, one meal a day, I found that I could eat huge amounts of anything in one sitting, including chocolate or desserts. Eating all your Calories once a day instead of spreading it out throughout the day made me satisfied. Then I fast for 23 hours or so. But knowing that I can eat like that again keeps me looking forward to the next day. Maybe IF or omad may be helpful in allowing you to feel not so deprived.
For me, I don't think stuffing myself once a day and then going without for the rest of the time would be enjoyable or healthy.
I'm rarely properly hungry, but I do find once the idea of food is in my head I'll keep grazing and grazing - I tend to end up eating one meal a day just because it works out that way by having a massive lunch (I eat at work and it's all pre plated) - in the evening I'm not in "food mode" so I don't really think about it.
So weird how people work, right?1 -
I know what you mean. There was a point where I "mourned" the loss of my eating autonomy, but I had to eventually move on. There remains a twinge that rears its head every now and then, but I keep reminding myself that this is better than the alternative. In a perfect world I would be eating everything I want without a moment of thought and without gaining weight, but this isn't a perfect world and it can be unfair sometimes. Deciding to spend your life at a lighter weight involves sacrifices, and only you get to decide if it's worth it. 15 lbs is not much, and at your height you don't get many calories to play with, so you know the facts. Maybe some soul searching? Which option would cause you more grief and affect the quality of your life more negatively? Staying at your current weight or accepting that you have to make certain changes? Only you know the honest answer to that. Sometimes sacrifices are worth it, other times our best bet is to accept a less than ideal situation because the alternative sucks more.1
-
If I never felt deprived I would weigh 200 lbs.
There's no way around that. You either gonna look good or feel satisfied at every minute of every day.
Now, how much are you willing to sacrifice it's up to you. Most of it it's mental. But also feeling deprived every single day will not help you keep it up in the long term.
Find a balance0 -
-
Ironandwine69 wrote: »If I never felt deprived I would weigh 200 lbs.
There's no way around that. You either gonna look good or feel satisfied at every minute of every day.
Now, how much are you willing to sacrifice it's up to you. Most of it it's mental. But also feeling deprived every single day will not help you keep it up in the long term.
Find a balance
Well, you obviously made the choice to look good!0 -
Did someone plant a tree? There's suddenly a lot of shade.
Weight loss doesn't have to suck. It really doesn't. Eat well while keeping your calories in range, move in ways that you like, and enjoy a full range of experiences along the way. Best of luck, OP!6 -
You can look good and be completely satisfied with how you eat, it's not one or the other. It's finding what works for you and believe me, there is a way to eat what you love and still be successful in your health and fitness. @arabianhorselover sorry, I thought you were OP, but you did say that eating one meal a day was "not healthy".0
-
You can look good and be completely satisfied with how you eat, it's not one or the other. It's finding what works for you and believe me, there is a way to eat what you love and still be successful in your health and fitness. @arabianhorselover sorry, I thought you were OP, but you did say that eating one meal a day was "not healthy".
I also said "for me" it wouldn't be healthy.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 388 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 910 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions