Have an adult son that still lives at home, refuses to get a job, has a very serious weight problem.

retro_gamer
retro_gamer Posts: 127 Member
Hi, my name is Paul, my son Chris has always had behavioral problems since he was in high school. He is now a 37 year old man and he still behaves like a kid, he's been diagnosed with schizo affective disorder and bipolar disorder, he weighs over 400 pounds and had type two diabetes, all he seems to like to do is stay home and play video games, watch television, and go on the computer. I try to get him to exercise but he just doesn't want to, I'm worried about his health. Besides his weight problems his behavior is totally out of control, sometimes he will stay up all night drink beer and talk to his internet friends on skype, a few years ago he flooded our bathroom with water by clogging up the sink. I can't get him to get serious about anything, every time I make a suggestion and try to help him he says, shut up Dad, and laughs like everything is a joke. Me my wife and my other son are at our wits end with Chris. He just doesn't same to care about anything, I feel bad for him and worry about his future because he has a good heart and can be quite funny and entertaining, he's a good kid but I just can't get him to lose any weight or make any goals or anything.
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Replies

  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    If you are in the USA the organisation NAMI offers great resources and support for family and carers of people with mental illness.

    In Australia you could try the Blackdog institute.

    You can accesss some of their resources online from anywhere in the world.

    ..............

    It's obviously best if a person accepts treatment by choice.

    However it is possible (in extreme situations) - where a person is putting themselves or others at risk of harm - to have people put under involuntary treatment orders so that they can be made to take their medications, whether that be pills or depot injections.

    .................

    Perhaps you should talk to your son's care team and reach out for other support to help determine the best way to approach things as it sounds like you are not coping well.

    You may find the help offered via some of the resources I mentioned more appropriate than what you will find here; your family's issue is more than a simple weight issue.

    ...................
  • Chase_The_Pain
    Chase_The_Pain Posts: 255 Member
    You sound like an awesome dad. Can I move in with you? I promise that I won't clog the toilet.

    The good thing is that he isn't on drugs (I hope), so you won't have to break him from that addiction. Start weening him off. Cut the internet, so he can get a job and pay for it. Stop buying beer, so he can get a job to pay for it, etc. it seems like there is a little bit of enabling going on. Is he threatening or abusive? If I was a jobless pos with no work ethic and had everything handed to me, I would do the same things.
  • moogie_fit
    moogie_fit Posts: 278 Member
    So tough. If he has psychological issues, get him to a doctor to make a plan for his health..

    Video games may be a healthy coping strategy for him dealing with the scitzo disorder. I suggest taking him to a psychiatrist for pharmaceutical line of treatment, and getting him to refer him to a dietitian andan occupational therapist.
  • Sivadee00
    Sivadee00 Posts: 428 Member
    edited August 2017
    His psychiatrist, and other medical persons involved, should have at least some additional resources for you to look into if they know what's going on.

    If they don't have that info...then maybe find medical professionals who do. If I couldn't get the resources, (to help my loved one), then I would be cold calling and emailing hospitals, non-profits, recovery houses, and anyone else who might have the names and numbers in a dusty binder on a shelf.

    Sometimes the most helpful sources are in the most unlikely of places.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,731 Member
    Hi, my name is Paul, my son Chris has always had behavioral problems since he was in high school. He is now a 37 year old man and he still behaves like a kid, he's been diagnosed with schizo affective disorder and bipolar disorder, he weighs over 400 pounds and had type two diabetes, all he seems to like to do is stay home and play video games, watch television, and go on the computer. I try to get him to exercise but he just doesn't want to, I'm worried about his health. Besides his weight problems his behavior is totally out of control, sometimes he will stay up all night drink beer and talk to his internet friends on skype, a few years ago he flooded our bathroom with water by clogging up the sink. I can't get him to get serious about anything, every time I make a suggestion and try to help him he says, shut up Dad, and laughs like everything is a joke. Me my wife and my other son are at our wits end with Chris. He just doesn't same to care about anything, I feel bad for him and worry about his future because he has a good heart and can be quite funny and entertaining, he's a good kid but I just can't get him to lose any weight or make any goals or anything.

    He's 37, he's not a kid.