My bf and chics in bikinis.

amberlineilene
amberlineilene Posts: 153
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
I feel super unattractive when i go to the beach with my bf, and he STARES at all the bikini babes. Very thin, toned bodies, tanned, big boobs...and then there is me = total opposite!!

All his friends sit there and point out 'the hot chics' and say, well..guy stuff about them. I dunno. I feel like I must be totally disgusting to him.

Do you ever feel this way? Let me know.
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Replies

  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    I wouldnt put up with that. Tell him and see what he says
  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
    I wouldnt put up with that. Tell him and see what he says

    I agree with this ^
  • yellowribbon56
    yellowribbon56 Posts: 1
    keep up the good work!!!!!!!!
  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
    You are gorgeous AND he is WITH you! Start commenting on all the hot guys LOL!
  • KyleJCooper
    KyleJCooper Posts: 44 Member
    Agreed. Total douche move on his part.
  • uberlaut
    uberlaut Posts: 44
    That is unacceptable behavior. Have you called him out on it?
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    I stare at girls butts at the track.
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
    That is totally disrespectful. I have to give kudos to my bf because he never stares at other women or makes comments like that. I never feel compared to other women. He loves me the way I am but is also cool with me losing weight if that is what I want to do. You deserve better.
  • mariasheehan
    mariasheehan Posts: 335
    no way...........you are so beautiful?????? sorry, you're one of my friends on here and I just wouldn't accept that. You need to start looking at YOU, have you even noticed those stunning cheekbones in the mirror girl? it's so disrespectful to do that to you. there are men out there who would cut their left arm off to be with you!!!!!!!!
  • Samiwhereareyou
    Samiwhereareyou Posts: 277 Member
    I went to Disneyland with my BF and one of his guy friends. Normally my guy is so sweet to me and I dont really see him around his man friends doing guy things but the way that were ooogling the pretty ladies made me hurt in my tummy. It was His friend saying something and my BF going along with. Being a lady myself and having **** like that happen to me I could see the uncomfortable glances sent our way and I felt ashamed. I walked up to one girl in particular and apologized for them. I spent the next half of the day blatantly hitting on guys that shut him up.
  • amberlineilene
    amberlineilene Posts: 153
    I know he loves me and everything, its just how the whole situation makes me feel. I am obviously being jealous, but I just feel bad.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,543 Member
    Im a guy who looks alot....it really doesn't mean anything, but I can't help myself, it's hard-wired LOL.

    My wife looks at the guys, it doesn't bother me. I'm there WITH her, not WITH them. She's there WITH me, not WITH them.
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
    I don't ever have to feel that way because my husband has too much respect and love for me to do that. He doesn't even oogle over women when he's just with his buddies, because he has that much respect for those women too.

    No matter what, you should try not to let other girls get to you, think about the wonderful qualities you have, and focus on that and your effect to get healthy and fit and reaching your goals.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    You are GORGEOUS.

    Someone in this relationship is totally disgusting... and it's HIM for not showing the proper respect to YOU.

    Guys will look. I have no issue with guys looking. Hell, I notice hot chicks, too, so I can't expect them not to. But that doesn't mean they have to be gross about it.

    My ex-boyfriend was like that. Totally disrespectful, and so much worse around his friends. I used to think, "I hate his friends!" It wasn't until after the relationship ended that I realized, "No.. I hated who HE was with his friends."

    On the other hand, my husband is THE SAME when he's with his friends as he is with me. And sure enough, I love his friends. :smile: Of course, he'll notice if a gorgeous woman walks by. But he always... ALWAYS treats me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.

    You deserve to feel that way, too. Every woman does.
  • peanut613
    peanut613 Posts: 438 Member
    any guy worth being with will love you, skinny or not. he will only have eyes for you. and when the guys all start talking about the hottie across the room, he'll brag that his hottie is right next to him.

    he may love you, but he doesn't respect you if he is looking at other girls...
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    First, I agree with everyone saying it's disrespectful.
    Second, You really do need to talk to HIM about it. He may try and say "It's just what guys do" or some form of it. Well, he's wrong. A real guy respects his girlfriend and all of her insecurities and will do anything to make her feel comfortable in a usually very UNcomfortable situation.

    Stand your ground, you deserve respect and understanding.
  • mommyoftwins05
    mommyoftwins05 Posts: 645 Member
    Oh yes.. its not only at bikini girls.. My fiancee will comment when he sees a hot girl. it bugs me bad!
  • bjenny12345
    bjenny12345 Posts: 118 Member
    I stare at girls butts at the track.
    While you are with your gf?
  • FabCheeky
    FabCheeky Posts: 311
    Agreed. Total douche move on his part.
    ^^This.
  • swanny320
    swanny320 Posts: 169 Member
    First of all, dump him. Any man that disrespects you like that will eventually start to treat you worse than that. He is testing the waters to see just how much you will take.

    However, should you choose to stay, turn it around on him and CONSTANTLY comment on men hotter than him.
  • camy_chick
    camy_chick Posts: 277 Member
    i think most every woman feels that way at some point in time in there relationships. i know i do quite often. most guys, at least in my opinion, will sit and stare at those "hot" girls. but i don't think too much about it, because who are they going home with? who do they give their loving to? who do the spend their time with? YOU YOU YOU!

    he's with you. he wants you. he loves you. those other girls are just eye candy, you are his candy! and no matter if you don't think you are as good looking as those other girls, there is something beautiful about you that he sees, that those other girls don't have.

    and i do have to say i like what swanny320 said "However, should you choose to stay, turn it around on him and CONSTANTLY comment on men hotter than him." < that would be funny.
  • Rye631
    Rye631 Posts: 3
    On one hand, it's disrepectful the way he is doing it. On the other hand, as a guy it's damn near impossible not to look. He still thinks about you when he's alone or at work or doing whatever. That chick on the beach is long forgotten, but you're always in his heart.
  • heresmyinsidevoice
    heresmyinsidevoice Posts: 311 Member
    No matter what size you are, there's always going to be those moments of insecurity. I get feeling insecure too if I'm in a group full of beautiful women with great perky size D's at the smallest and these little bitty waists and butts you could bounce quarters off of. Like you, I am the complete opposite - I have a size A34 chest and wear a size medium to large pants - in other words, a classic pear. But sometimes you gotta work with what's been given to you. I know I am not about to go buy boobs because society dictates to me that I should have them. Yes, I know I've got a little junk in the trunk, but all that I'm here for is to be the healthiest and fittest I can be, regardless of my shape. We all can't be expected to fit into one cookie cutter size.

    As for your man oogling those women at the beach - don't take it too seriously. There's obviously a reason why he's with you instead of one of them. Same goes for women - hey - we look, don't we? I know I do! I won't lie! My man isn't all chiseled like one of those hunky muscle bound guys in calendars or the guys that live at the gym, but that doesn't negate that he's sexy (I do believe I have good taste). He has characteristics in his face and build that are truly unique and I love that about him. I think us ladies really put too much emphasis on guys' looking and assuming that means wanting. Totally not true.

    This is how I've always looked at it. When faced with that issue, I say to myself, "She's a girl that all the guys wanna f**k. I'm a woman that this guy wants to make love to."
  • hyenagirl
    hyenagirl Posts: 206 Member
    It's not disrespectful to oogle at others, that's human nature, one of the hardest to control. It IS disrespectful to make comments in front of your partner. Talk to him, maybe to him it's not big deal and he's unaware that you're not comfortable with this. Guys can be TOTALLY oblivious and need to be told what's going on. They are in no means mind-readers and can't even read simple body language like a scowl the majority of the time.

    I love my boyfriend, we oogle guys together, but we have totally different taste in men, heh. There's only a handful of guys we're both attracted to. We're very open and comfortable with each other and don't feel uncomfortable if the other talks about what features they liked on a beach body they saw.
  • espinozAgal
    espinozAgal Posts: 160 Member
    Boys will be boys, but they don't need to be disrespectful! Just communicate with him how you feel about it. I'm sure you are the apple of his eye, but around other guys he needs to be one of the guys. Saying that... Don't let him take advantage of you being a little insecure and jealous. WE ALL ARE a little insecure and jealous at one time or another. Remind him he has someone great and i'm sure he will respond with "i know" that is if he is mature enough to understand the situation.
  • kbarry90
    kbarry90 Posts: 48
    Whenever my fiance does something I don't like and I know if I did it he would be mad at me for it. I ask him "how would you feel if I did that to you and the situation was the other way around?" He then sees it my way says sorry and doesn't do it anymore.
  • TheShelterCat
    TheShelterCat Posts: 160
    It's normal to look but staring and/or checking them out in front of you is not cool if you arent ok with it. Since gaining a bunch of weight I always catch my boyfriend checking girls out **or at least I think I do**. I've thought about it a lot and wonder why I never noticed in in the beginning. Am I so hideous now, he enjoys looking at prettier girls in short shorts???

    Maybe he's gotten comfortable and looks now and then but after thinking about it (way more than I should), I think it's partly in my head because I'm so self concious about myself and I'm paranoid that he thinks every other girl is prettier than me.

    I think that's why I'm so focused on where his eyes are at now. I think once I start getting back in shape, I wont be so worried that he's noticing a hot girl because I'm a hottie too. :wink:

    Regardless, YOU are gorgeous and I hope you see that and portray the confidence a beautiful girl like you should have.

    Good luck on your journey!!!
  • ladybugss
    ladybugss Posts: 135 Member
    You are amazingly beautiful. Get a new BF
  • funnygrrl
    funnygrrl Posts: 170 Member
    I know he loves me and everything, its just how the whole situation makes me feel. I am obviously being jealous, but I just feel bad.

    sweetie, if he loved you, he would realize how great you are, and realize he has a hot chick himelf. and you shouldn't be the one feeling bad! he should be ashamed of the way his actions are making you feel. point out how obvious he's being and how his actions are making you feel. if he continues, he clearly doesn't care how upset this is making you, and i say kick him to the curb.
    and never feel bad for the way you, and always remember how beautiful you are!
  • mommyoftwins05
    mommyoftwins05 Posts: 645 Member
    No matter what size you are, there's always going to be those moments of insecurity. I get feeling insecure too if I'm in a group full of beautiful women with great perky size D's at the smallest and these little bitty waists and butts you could bounce quarters off of. Like you, I am the complete opposite - I have a size A34 chest and wear a size medium to large pants - in other words, a classic pear. But sometimes you gotta work with what's been given to you. I know I am not about to go buy boobs because society dictates to me that I should have them. Yes, I know I've got a little junk in the trunk, but all that I'm here for is to be the healthiest and fittest I can be, regardless of my shape. We all can't be expected to fit into one cookie cutter size.

    As for your man oogling those women at the beach - don't take it too seriously. There's obviously a reason why he's with you instead of one of them. Same goes for women - hey - we look, don't we? I know I do! I won't lie! My man isn't all chiseled like one of those hunky muscle bound guys in calendars or the guys that live at the gym, but that doesn't negate that he's sexy (I do believe I have good taste). He has characteristics in his face and build that are truly unique and I love that about him. I think us ladies really put too much emphasis on guys' looking and assuming that means wanting. Totally not true.

    This is how I've always looked at it. When faced with that issue, I say to myself, "She's a girl that all the guys wanna f**k. I'm a woman that this guy wants to make love to."


    I love how you put it!! I am small chested like you and it bugs me..my fiancee will look at big chested girls ect.. but he said he's a legs guy... Also Yes so often I do look at guys.. But I won't comment about them in front of my fiancee...I dont think its the fact he looks..I think its b/c he comments with me there
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