Professional Help?
Polo265
Posts: 287 Member
I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
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Replies
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Yes, it's sad. The world is not fair. Some people who need help, can't get it, and some who can, won't. But not all problems require professional help. Some are solved just by taking personal responsibility, fixing bad habits, reading up, better time management etc.11
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I disagree. At a certain point, a site like this may not be helping at all, but instead enabling someone to continue harmful behavior. There are other sites or hotlines that offer peer support for eating disorders, and they can be helpful for someone unable or unwilling to go to a professional.
Most of us here have complicated relationships with food, which is why we're here. However, for some people being here is a way to continue disordered behavior. I've only ever seen regular posters suggest professional help when there is a history or pattern of someone posting troubling things, or being underage and obsessed with weight.
If a calorie counting forum thinks you need professional help, you probably do. Just my opinion.25 -
I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
I've sought therapy for some of my food and depression issues. Not everything can be solved alone and no one should have to go through major issues alone. It's not "sad" that I couldn't do it on my own. It was empowering. I hate to be a cliché, but how very dare you pity people who are fighting these issues. They wake up every day and work hard to get better.
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I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you "sort of" solved your issues and yet you display a rather superior attitude towards those who seek help? You think it's embarrassing to seek help? Seeking help shows strength, accountability, and a desire to be better. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I don't think the people you feel sad for need or want your pity. Get off your high horse.
ETA - as far as help being cost prohibitive, there are always options for help out there and many times professional help is on a sliding scale.17 -
I'm grateful that part of the diet program I was on with a local hospital included psychological therapy. My problems may not have been considered "serious" but they were hindering me from weight loss. My therapist had heard it all before, too, and was incredibly supportive and helped me change my thinking. I'm not perfect now, I still have challenges with food - damned crispy M&Ms! - but I'm much more aware of myself and why I eat when and how I do. I don't consider it sad that I had the help of the therapist, I consider it a gift.11
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I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you "sort of" solved your issues and yet you display a rather superior attitude towards those who seek help? You think it's embarrassing to seek help? Seeking help shows strength, accountability, and a desire to be better. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I don't think the people you feel sad for need or want your pity. Get off your high horse.
ETA - as far as help being cost prohibitive, there are always options for help out there and many times professional help is on a sliding scale.
Not necessarily, depending on what country you live in, what providers are in your area, and what your insurance coverage is like.
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I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you "sort of" solved your issues and yet you display a rather superior attitude towards those who seek help? You think it's embarrassing to seek help? Seeking help shows strength, accountability, and a desire to be better. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I don't think the people you feel sad for need or want your pity. Get off your high horse.
ETA - as far as help being cost prohibitive, there are always options for help out there and many times professional help is on a sliding scale.
Amen!2 -
I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you "sort of" solved your issues and yet you display a rather superior attitude towards those who seek help? You think it's embarrassing to seek help? Seeking help shows strength, accountability, and a desire to be better. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I don't think the people you feel sad for need or want your pity. Get off your high horse.
ETA - as far as help being cost prohibitive, there are always options for help out there and many times professional help is on a sliding scale.
Not necessarily, depending on what country you live in, what providers are in your area, and what your insurance coverage is like.
Noted, but that doesn't justify a superior attitude towards those that make the choice to seek professional help.4 -
I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you "sort of" solved your issues and yet you display a rather superior attitude towards those who seek help? You think it's embarrassing to seek help? Seeking help shows strength, accountability, and a desire to be better. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I don't think the people you feel sad for need or want your pity. Get off your high horse.
ETA - as far as help being cost prohibitive, there are always options for help out there and many times professional help is on a sliding scale.
Not necessarily, depending on what country you live in, what providers are in your area, and what your insurance coverage is like.
Noted, but that doesn't justify a superior attitude towards those that make the choice to seek professional help.
Agreed. 100%.3 -
As someone who has been on the professional side of the seeking-help equation, I think it is important to de-stigmatize both seeking help, and help-seekers as well. Stigma is a significant barrier to help as the OP noted. Another significant problem is that people who could benefit from help with disordered eating & the depression and anxiety often accompanying disordered eating often find that services are not feasible (distance, co-pays/costs for people with and without health insurance, hours available, etc.) For folks living in the US, this site has some helpful information: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/11
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I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.7
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Sometimes, like on a "Help I'm addicted to sugar!" thread, when posters suggest professional help I think they are being flip.
The majority of the time I see professional help recommended I think the intent is sincere and l agree with it. It's usually because the person's thinking appears disordered. The MFP forums cannot help with that.
We wouldn't want anyone to suffer with chronic pain or an abusive spouse; why would we want them to suffer with a bad relationship with food?
I didn't seek professional help with food because I already learned the cognitive behavioral tools I needed when I abused alcohol. Food can actually be harder to deal with than booze - one can abstain from booze forever, but not food.
Would you stigmatize someone who got professional help for a drinking problem? If not, why stigmatize someone who sought help for self-medicating with food? My brother has a thought disorder and his medication has been life saving. Someone who has disordered thinking around food should not be stigmatized for seeking help. Its probably less likely to kill them than my brother's condition if untreated, but will certainly adversely effect their quality of life.13 -
While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad.
Why does it make you sad?MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing.
Are you really concerned that it might be cost prohibitive? (Lots of insurance plans cover mental health care, and of course students will often have additional options through their school, and there are other options as well.) Or are you more focused on the "it's too embarrassing" aspect?I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
Again, why can't you imagine seeking mental help? That does seem judgy of those that do. Why are you sad for those who cannot solve their issues on their own (as it seems you mean).
I'm sensitive to this because I spent a LOT of my life thinking that I could not possibly seek psychological help of any sort (heck, I barely went to a doctor otherwise), in part because I grew up in a family where that was weird, you only got any medical attention if sick (if an adult), and of course you didn't seek psychological help unless you were really messed up (basically, a loser or freak).
Even after I knew that was crazy (the attitude I grew up with, I mean), I had a really negative attitude toward seeking such help (for me, anyway), and was really into the idea that something only counted, was only worthwhile if you did it totally on your own. I crashed and burned with that and some things.
I still have that attitude to too great an extent, I think -- I did not seek help with eating stuff and find it hard to shake the idea that it's better not to, but I DON'T let that color how I advise others, I hope, and I strongly regret how long it took me to get some help with other things, as I wasted some years of my life as a result (well, I try not to think of it as wasted, but I regret it).
Depression runs strongly in my mother's family, too, and I see family members (including my mother, who I think has struggled with untreated depression through much of her life) who I really think would have been better off and happier if not for this idea that admitting you need that kind of help is wrong or embarrassing or an unacceptable weakness.
I think I'm lucky that I moved away from that kind of attitude toward one where therapy is much more acceptable and normal if you have some issues it could help with, even if it's still sometimes hard for me to accept it, since I have a thick skull in some ways.6 -
I use to wake in the middle of the night and need sugar. Anything cookie or chocolate related I would devour. Hundreds and hundreds of calories worth sometimes. It has been awhile since I've been through such a phase but I remember the feeling of "I have to eat" being strong. This happened less over night and more in the evenings this past year. I attributed mine to a deficiency in my diet because when I'm eating clean and healthy I don't have these binge urges even though my calorie consumption is half what it was then. I think unless someone has experienced these types of uncontrollable urges, they couldn't truly understand how debilitating they can feel.3
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I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
So you've "sort of solved" your problem and you still think you're better than people who either need or want to get professional help.
You are the perfect example of why stigma happens.7 -
kshama2001 wrote: »Sometimes, like on a "Help I'm addicted to sugar!" thread, when posters suggest professional help I think they are being flip.
The majority of the time I see professional help recommended I think the intent is sincere and l agree with it. It's usually because the person's thinking appears disordered. The MFP forums cannot help with that.
We wouldn't want anyone to suffer with chronic pain or an abusive spouse; why would we want them to suffer with a bad relationship with food?
I didn't seek professional help with food because I already learned the cognitive behavioral tools I needed when I abused alcohol. Food can actually be harder to deal with than booze - one can abstain from booze forever, but not food.
Would you stigmatize someone who got professional help for a drinking problem? If not, why stigmatize someone who sought help for self-medicating with food? My brother has a thought disorder and his medication has been life saving. Someone who has disordered thinking around food should not be stigmatized for seeking help. Its probably less likely to kill them than my brother's condition if untreated, but will certainly adversely effect their quality of life.
Plus, there's the whole thing where some eating disorders are egosyntonic -- to the person who has it, or the behaviors, they feel right and natural. (Bulimia and BED, not so much -- largely the restrictive behaviors.) What's going to let someone get "better" on their own when they're convinced that what they are doing is the right thing?
So should someone have disordered eating behavior forever, until they're forced into treatment?
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Christine_72 wrote: »I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.
That's a shame. I wonder how many lives there could be saved or made better by people working to break down those stigmas instead of reinforcing them.10 -
diannethegeek wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.
That's a shame. I wonder how many lives there could be saved or made better by people working to break down those stigmas instead of reinforcing them.
Yeah, the "Harden up Buttercup" attitude is rife here.5 -
Christine_72 wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.
That's a shame. I wonder how many lives there could be saved or made better by people working to break down those stigmas instead of reinforcing them.
Yeah, the "Harden up Buttercup" attitude is rife here.
You seem to be on the OP's side in this discussion. Are you working to end the stigma in Australia?6 -
OP I think it's sad that you think utilizing a therapist is embarrassing and sad. Why shouldn't people seek help moving past mental roadblocks that hold them back in any area of their lives if that help is available?4
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I needed help with food, exercise, and body image isues. What looked like "eating back your exercise calories " in my case was turning into exercise bulimia and it was a professional who picked it up. Sometimes things can seem minor or controllable. But if it's troubling or disruptive, humility and sacrifice may be needed in seeking out a professional.8
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You very well might have seen me be one of those people who have recommended professional help, especially in regards to BED. I got through it with professional help, and I don't know where I'd be in terms of my weight and health without it. It wasn't JUST the counseling that got me here today. But it just did aide my efforts.
Partially why a lot of people recommend professional help is because we are not qualified to diagnose or treat anything. When someone on a forum asks a question ED related, we are giving a subtle nod that it is not safe to give suggestions specifically because we don't know you and you don't know us. Plus there is the factor of someone else coming later and reading the suggestions and deciding to try them for themselves. Again, not safe.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with professional help. I have turned to professional help twice in my life and it was eye opening and healing. The argument about access to it is another that I am not versed enough to go into, but I will ALWAYS highly recommend counseling for EDs.10 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.
I live in Australia, and this comment is rubbish.
There is nothing wrong with getting psychological help, and many people do, and it helps.9 -
You know most eating disorders are actually caused by depression or some other mental health disorder. The eating disorder part might be more of a symptom to the actual problem then the problem itself. I have personally sought help for depression and PTSD. Sometimes I would binge, sometimes I would purge and sometimes I would starve myself. It was scary to get help and sometimes it IS embarrassing to tell my therapist things I've done and how I feel. That's the whole point of therapy. To come to terms with your problems and overcome them no matter how uncomfortable they may make you feel.
I work at a very progressive community health clinic. We serve people regardless of their ability to pay, which means we serve a large majority of our community. We also practice integrated care and I would say about 1/2 or maybe more of our patients utilize our behavioral health team. Which in my opinion means we need to work harder to destigmatize help for psychological health. Posts like this are just asinine and I hope you don't spew garbage like this at people you know in real life.7 -
If an issue is beyond the scope of what a random person or collective of laypersons on the internet can responsibly help with then it is actually really good advice that a person seek professional advice.
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Not everyone can afford specialist care, but if you have internet access you can generally access self help resources at the very least. Such resources are likely to be more beneficial than any advice gleaned from people who are not qualified to comment.
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Christine_72 wrote: »I've noticed this site is very "seek therapy" driven. I live in Australia where this is still a very foreign concept.
I live in Australia, and this comment is rubbish.
There is nothing wrong with getting psychological help, and many people do, and it helps.
Another Australian here. I second this.
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I've seen several posts on this forum suggesting professional help is needed for various food issues - I'm
not talking about anorexia or bulimia . While I agree that professional help may be the needed in some of these food issues and also that we lay people are not equipped to deal with such possible disorders, I just have to vent and say that this makes me sad. MOST of us cannot seek professional help for eating disorders, even though we know we have them, because it's likely cost prohibitive or maybe embarrassing. I had a rather comparatively small eating disorder in that I would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I would wake up out of a sound sleep and have to eat. My choice was anything carbs. I would eat chips, toast, crackers, etc., to excess before I could fall asleep. I've sort of solved my issue, but I can't imagine seeking professional help. I am sad for those folks that can't solve their food issues.
I'm sad that you are not able to see the benefit of people seeking professional help when needed.
I hope noone in your family ever suffers mental health issues.4 -
I interpreted the OP as being sad that people struggle and are unable to seek help. I didn't interpret a sense of superiority, rather empathy.11
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msjennigirl wrote: »I interpreted the OP as being sad that people struggle and are unable to seek help. I didn't interpret a sense of superiority, rather empathy.
Thank you msjennigirl. That's exactly what I meant, but sadly rather clumsily expressed myself. Many, many folks do not have health insurance or the co-pays for treatment are outrageous. Some health insurances do not cover counseling, but I think more are doing so. I had occasion to see a counselor several years ago. My session was $75.00 for 30 minutes. My own father was hospitalized for 3 months following a nervous breakdown, so I understand the value and necessity for mental health treatment. I apologize for my clumsy post. I did not mean to offend.8 -
msjennigirl wrote: »I interpreted the OP as being sad that people struggle and are unable to seek help. I didn't interpret a sense of superiority, rather empathy.
No, the OP said that it was sad people had to turn to professional help instead of figuring it out themselves, like they "sort of" did2
This discussion has been closed.
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