Too fat, never going to lose weight!!

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  • dawn_westbury
    dawn_westbury Posts: 358 Member
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    I'll give you a little secret @dawn_westbury to show you that I am certain that you got this.

    You returned to your discussion.

    So many people create an account, post a message of despair, elicit a flood of help, and never return. It is those who return and use the site who succeed at the goal.


    I have definitely been going back to my discussions! There are always new comments plus keep me in the right mind set, even if I’m not doing anything, it’s still in my mind!
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
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    HA! Hey, you still have your sense of humor, girl! Good for you. So, you are totally going to kick this situation's *kitten* with a smile and a "Hey, you talking to me?"!

    So, not going to ask about the medical situation (none of my business) but duly noted. So, I will be a bit more careful with what I suggest.

    I find that the key for me is taking a somewhat daunting task and chopping it down into smaller parts. I used to run 13 miles a day in 75 minutes. I did not start off doing that. I built up to that over time. I started with walking 1/10 of a mile and jogging 1/10 of a mile. Next thing I know, I am running one mile. Then two. Then three. Then five. All of a sudden running 13 miles was not so daunting, right? I loved the challenge. It was fun.

    So, break it down into smaller tasks. Here is an example:

    So, someone want to loose 100 lbs. That seems like quite a task. And it is. That seems almost impossible. So, pick reasonable milestones and work toward each of those milestones. Let success build upon success. You know the cliche.....every journey of 1,000 miles starts with the first step. So, break it down into whatever makes sense (like five pounds at first by the end of the month, for example).

    Make - for example - 25 lbs milestones. Break each of those milestones into smaller blocks. So, by the time you have reached that first 25 lb milestone you already have several mini-successes. Pretty dang soon you are super confident that you can do this and bam! Once you *KNOW* that you can do it....well, you are right! Then it is just a matter of time before you have that 100 lbs lost goal knocked out.

    Make sense?
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
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    And, if I can suggest this.....maybe one goal at a time? I mean, you have to be healthy to get fit, right? You do not get fit to be healthy.

    So, work on the Dr. Pepper (read: replace it with water) as your first goal. Do not kick yourself if you have one or two. Like I did with running, I built up over time. So, you just "build down" over time. It is the mental relationship with this thing (in this case, Dr. Pepper) that needs to be readjusted. So, work on that one thing. That will help. It will also help with the energy. I promise. Keep in mind....and be very clear....it will "help" with the energy. It is not going to solve that situation. It is one part of that puzzle.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    So, lots and lots of comments here. Here is what I will contribute (something different, unless I missed it....).

    So, it is important to know your starting point. You know your gender, your age, your height, your weight and your level of activity. However, what are you eating every day? What is your caloric intake? How does that look?

    So, my suggestion would be to track WHAT YOU EAT NOW. Do that for one week. Be honest with your self....do not change anything just because you are tracking it. You need this to be as honest and complete as possible.

    That is going to show you what your current caloric intake is. Once we know this, we can proceed. But, we need to know your starting point. Whatever it is. No one is going to judge you on whatever it might be.

    In parallel to that - how much water do you drink each day?

    Finally, what is your energy level like? Honest question. And, important.

    Just my $0.02 on this. This is what I would do were I in your shoes. I would want to know EXACTLY what I am doing. I mean, you can not really fix an issue if you do not know what it is, right? Yes - it seems clear what the issue is. But, is it really as clear as we might think? Let's find out.


    I logged what I have eaten a few days over the week and I’ve been as high as almost 3,000 cals and as low as about 2,000. Based on a TDEE calc my maintenance cals are about 2,100 .. at this point I’m not gaining but not losing (obviously). I have also suffered with binge eating FOREVER but started meds this past March and that is more controlled (hence not gaining), the urgency of I HAVE TO EAT N EAT OR IM GOING TO DIE is better but I am still struggling with the anxiety of waking up and realizing I “can’t” do this or that. (As in just eat without thinking about it). I don’t drink water much AT ALL, I drink Dr Pepper etc way too much! I have this weekend started drinking more water in place of soda. And energy, what’s that??

    A regular exercise program really helps me with both the cravings and the anxiety. I've been out of Xanax for some time and haven't asked for a refill.
  • AMV91
    AMV91 Posts: 86 Member
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    I was 350+ lbs when I was 21. I got down to 205 with a pregnancy in there. I am again at 250 after my second pregnancy, a month ago.

    I have 80 lbs to go to my first goal, maybe 110 lbs total.

    It seems very daunting when you think of the big picture. But when you think of it in smaller amounts like 10 pound goals, it doesn't seem so scary. Also just think of how fast time goes by. While it can feel like losing a large chunk of weight can take forever (2 years say) think of how fast two years actually goes by. You can either remain unhappy at your current weight for another 2 years or start making changes and be closer or at your goal in that time.

    Just keep moving forward! Changes take time but every day that you attempt, even if you fail, is a day closer to your goals.
  • vanmep
    vanmep Posts: 410 Member
    edited September 2017
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    Two things that help me when I feel like this - it took me twenty years to get to this weight so even if it takes 5 to get it off I will be going at lightening speed in comparison. And the next five years of my life are going to go by no matter what, so I might as well do something healthy and useful with the time or I'll be sitting here 5 years from now saying exactly the same thing. I have heard it said that the best time to plant a tree is yesterday. The second best time is today. You can do it!!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    What if you set out to investigate how you eat, shop, cook, move, and handle thoughts and emotions? All the small decisions you make often, look so unimportant, but they are concrete actions to work on, and together they make up your time, and your life.

    Don't focus so much on your weight - your weight is just a byproduct of that row of decisions, and nothing you can change just by wanting it to change.
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
    edited September 2017
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    Well, I have used this several times today....and it fits perfectly here.

    So, Rome was not built in a day. And, there are likely several things that contribute to your current situation. So, break this down to smaller tasks | milestones | <insert-the-term-that-works-for-you-here>.

    I am 50 and I am in better shape now than when I was 20 and 25 and 30 and 35. And I was an athlete. So, mindset is going to be everything here. Do you want this? Do you believe that you can do this?

    And all of the things I said previously...
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
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    Whether you believe you will succeed or you believe you will fail, you will be correct.
  • dawn_westbury
    dawn_westbury Posts: 358 Member
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    Makes sense to work on small goals rather than trying to work on the big one all at once! Also small changes at first might help my black or white, all or nothing, perfection or destruction mind set too.
  • kimberley1975mfp
    kimberley1975mfp Posts: 36 Member
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    I started on April 28th and today hit the 50lb weight loss mark. 22lbs to get to my goal of 150lbs. Even though MFP said 1553 calorie intake I've stuck to 1200 the entire 19 weeks.

    It doesn't always take that long. Keep busy and the weeks just fly by. Track everything that goes in your mouth. That's what I did and it was very eye opening to visually see it. Then I realized what I could eat and what I couldn't and how to get the most bang for my buck. In turn I eat almost the exact same thing everyday cause it's within my goal and I get the most for it :)

    Take small steps. I set 3 goals and just focused on the 1st. Then once I hit it I focused on the 2nd. Hit that just today. So now I will focus on the final one. Don't think about the total overall. Just the amount to the first target. You'll get there for sure :)

    Female 42
    SW 222 April 28, 2017
    CW 172 September 10, 2017
    GW 150 (Hopefully before December
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
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    Yes, there is no failure UNLESS you quit. That is failure. Nothing else is failure - it is experience, right? LOL!

    So, we are human and we are going to fall down and stumble around at times. Just be kind to yourself when that happens. And, make no mistake - it WILL happen.

    Mindset is everything. Well, that is one of my things - mindset is everything. So, just kill it. Be confident that you got this and that it is just a matter of time. Be patient and do things the right way. Enjoy the journey, enjoy the successes and just kill it.
  • TorStar80
    TorStar80 Posts: 252 Member
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    When I feel that way, I go right to the inspiration stories. I'm amazed by what others have accomplished.
  • dawn_westbury
    dawn_westbury Posts: 358 Member
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    TorStar80 wrote: »
    When I feel that way, I go right to the inspiration stories. I'm amazed by what others have accomplished.

    Especially the before and after pictures!
  • pamfgil
    pamfgil Posts: 449 Member
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    Yes, baby steps will help, make one goal, learning how to be ok with "good enough". Perfection is really only useful when it comes as "perfect form" for weight training to avoid injuries
  • vanmep
    vanmep Posts: 410 Member
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    I just read a quote " it's a slow process but quitting won't speed it up." Neither will not starting
  • bigjonb4116
    bigjonb4116 Posts: 154 Member
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    its definately the lifestyle change that makes the differance, cutting out as much processed food as possible, and cutting the soda etc. Throw in some exercise, even if only walking and the weight will come off. But if you can change your mindset to that way of thinking then your battle is virtually won!
    i've just come back from my doctors surgery, having been weighed today and have finally hit the 150lb lost mark, (and that in the 18months it has taken, averages about 1.9lb per week). i still have have another 100 lbs odd to go, but the slow and steady weightloss eating healthy is definately the way to go.....its never as fast as we want, and the inevitable plateux are frustrating....lots of good advice on MFP.good luck with your journey, just by being on MFP you have increased your odds of success. :)
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  • sarahlifts
    sarahlifts Posts: 610 Member
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    Take it one day, one hour even at a time. Count every success! I have lost 90+ lbs and I'm always working toward a better me its been almost 5 years. the time will pass anyway. Do something worth while with it.