Gastric Bypass - what to say and not to say

A friend confided in me that they are thinking of having a gastric bypass at the behest of a doctor. They aren't convinced but seem to clearly lean more towards yes than no.

I'm conflicted on what to say, as of course I want to say "oh please try MFP for a few months before deciding that". But I know they already did something similar, and said they used a food scale, logged everything, and lost just under 2 lbs a week. Which... of course I'm like "... but that is GREAT" and the response is that it wasn't moving fast enough for the restrictions and the dr didn't think it was enough or something. Anyway... it's NOT my place to try to convince them to have it or not to have it and they're not close enough for me to get too pushy in my opinions. I think they more so just want someone they can talk to about it.

What I want to know from anyone who actually has gone through this surgery, what do you wish someone would have or would NOT have said to you about gastric bypass before you had it or decided for sure?

Replies

  • Nykkismommy21
    Nykkismommy21 Posts: 224 Member
    Girrrl, I am going through the same thing with my sister! She had the lap band a few years ago. Poor tging has always had trouble with her weight, and we have a younger sister going in her direction. The thing is she lost 50 lbs per doctors orders on her own, eating right and going to the gym, and then she had the lap band, got down to a great size , but was always sick with the band..She ended up getting married, then pregnant, had a beautiful little boy, and ballooned back to size. Well not really .She look slimmer than she had a few years ago. She also was vwry involved with MFP and had her own YouTube channel. Now she wants to just ho and get gastric bypass.She says it's corrective surgery, something about the band ,or idk. We just really started talking after her son was born,as we had a falling out a few yeats back. I missed the best times of her life. Anyway, she kbows how yo lose weight and what to do. Im also scared for her.I try to talk to ger about it too.But she sort of brushes it off,and says it needs to be done. It's very frustrating. She isnt extremely obese , and I feel like she can still very much get a handle on this. I hate to think that once you get the surgery you have to give up soo much. Snd sometimes it can cause extreme injuries to your body. Or so I have seen.But from what I see,once their minds are made up, theres really nobody who can convince them otherwise. They think we font want them to succeed , or maybe that we might be showing jealousy. She looked great at 174, she is 5'7 and I know she can do it again with such a extreme operation but im going to pray she is ok. And support her decision as best I can.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,483 MFP Moderator
    edited September 2017
    (sorry I am going to break your rule and chime in despite not having had it) I have read quite a few threads on here where people who have had some form of WLS shared their story. It seems it can be a great tool for weight loss, IF the patient goes in realizing it is a tool for them to use, not a magic cure that will last forever.

    I would just ask the person more questions. What sort of eating habit changes will you have to make, what kind of post surgery support will you be given, how do you plan to long term keep the weight off. Things like that. WLS can be a valuable tool for someone willing to make long term changes, but it's basically a waste of money and a risky procedure which may (long term) have no benefits if they aren't. I think you are wise to not want to try to strongly interject your opinions, but I think by asking some questions and being a sounding board you can help this person think through their decision and prepare for it. Since they already played with tracking food and are willing to put in some work it sounds like they might be a good candidate.

    On another side note, I am a little wary of a doctor pushing an elective surgery like this on a patient who seems willing to try on their own, and might not be very comfortable with the procedure. I would also ask if they have looked into second opinions.
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 339 Member
    I have not had it, but would have been a candidate... I have two friends who are getting it, who are determined and don't want to hear anything negative about it, who are in the same category I was--BMI under 40 but with sleep apnea or other health issue. I do wish they'd try this first as I've had such success with it, but they feel it's the only way for them. I also worry that if they are not learning about nutrition and calories and portions and such now that they will have to learn it anyway after surgery and won't want to.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    I have not had it, but would have been a candidate... I have two friends who are getting it, who are determined and don't want to hear anything negative about it, who are in the same category I was--BMI under 40 but with sleep apnea or other health issue. I do wish they'd try this first as I've had such success with it, but they feel it's the only way for them. I also worry that if they are not learning about nutrition and calories and portions and such now that they will have to learn it anyway after surgery and won't want to.

    Most surgical groups have a requirement that patients have to through a program that includes nutritional classes, but if you don't realize that surgery is just a tool and that it's a lifetime commitment, you might night be a good candidate. When I was looking into it, I wanted to hear positive AND negative, I wanted to make an informed decision. A lot of people take the option of surgery too lightly.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,465 Member
    If you don't consider yourself close, I suggest that you not say too much. If she wants your advice, she'll ask for it. This way, you don't risk offending her.
  • KendraMonster
    KendraMonster Posts: 46 Member
    So i have not had the surgery yet but i am going to explain why i am choosing to have the surgery. The first reason is health and mobility. I have hashimotos thyroiditis, fibromyalgia and possibly lupus so losing weight has always been extremely difficult. I have had 2 major back surgeries in the last year and a half, while my weight was not the reason its definitely not helping. I approached my doctor about the surgery and she explained how beneficial she thought it would be for me and referred me. After my file was reviewed i was enrolled in a bariatric program. The first phase was 12 weeks of learning about healthy habits, label reading, food logging, exercise, you name it. While being extremely diligent i lost 8 pounds, most of which water weight. The second phase was to go to a surgery orientation to hear all the positive and negatives. A couple of things the surgeon said resonated with me; bypass is one of the most durable forms of weightloss, it gives your brain time to get healthy habits while your body is physically limited. Two, it alters your gut bacteria...he presented us some studies. Thirdly, your cravings and tastebuds will change, most people will stop craving sugar and fats due to your body knowing it can cause dumping snydrome. My third phase i am currently on is proving i can eat 5-6 balanced 300 calorie meals and exercise 5 times a day. This is not an easy process and am only on phase 3 out of 7. If i could just lose and maintain on my own i wouldnt be doing the surgery, if willpower and motivation were enough i wouldnt need it. The truth is i am one of many that need a drastic change to heal myself and hopefully gather enough information and habits to make it durable.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    Thirdly, your cravings and tastebuds will change, most people will stop craving sugar and fats due to your body knowing it can cause dumping snydrome.

    I have to tell you from my personal experience and the experience of others close to me, your cravings and tastebuds may change, and your cravings may subside, but truth is, this may or may not happen, and it might just be temporary. Same with dumping syndrome. You cannot count on these side effects as long term checks and balances.

  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,165 Member
    Just say "I hope it goes well and you get the results you want". That's it.