We broke up because...
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She didn't know how to wear mascara... Spider legs eesh0
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She had a pet spider. There were webs everywhere0
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My pets creeped her out0
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She wasn't the wind beneath my wings0
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He would fart in bed and then hold my head underneath the covers0
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Didn't understand the greatness of a dutch oven0
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Lethal dutch oven..I died0
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Her brains were too delicious0
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I woke up one nite to her staring at me. I couldn't sleep after that and went mildly insane0
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She went insane0
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He disappeared one stormy night0
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I managed to crawl out of her basement0
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Never did ..we are staying together1
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apparently I thought we had, but we haven't.........according to her1
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He wasn't available0
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She thought I was married the whole time0
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She hounded me to get married..but I have a fear of commitment0
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She didnt Fear having me Committed0
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.0
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She let a mouse, live in the house and when I said get rid of it I felt like a louse0
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