"When Food Guilt is Ruining Your Life"

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  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
    Logging for me is reassurance that I am holding myself accountable, and that I am honestly doing all I can do to unlearn habits that have been harmful to me and replace them with habits that are enjoyable, sustainable and move me closer to my goal of reducing my weight. Its my little "pat on the back" at the end of the day.

    It is a curious thing that for many women (and men too of course but to a lesser degree) that there are societal standards that dictate how we think, behave, look, and how women have seemed to just absorb them, and not question their validity. I have a daughter, and I always wonder what her life will be like when she is my age.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I see lots of people in here, and every other forum where food and eating is discussed, "confessing" daily. Especially women aren't really entitled to enjoyment. At least not one they freely can administer themselves.

    We might think we are getting less religious, but we have just shifted focus from sex to food. "Eating clean" is another bizarre "morality disguised as health" thing.

    I might regret eating something or too much of it, even feel weak, but I don't feel guilty. Either I'm lucky, or I'm just not a real woman.

    Love this.

    Also the OP.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    I didn't have as much an issue with 'bad' food, but it took me a long time to 'forgive' myself when I went over my limit. Accepting that "yes, I will mess up from time to time but as long as I don't let it become a trend I'm fine" was hard, but made things a lot eaiser once I did!

    Also, just as a comment, women aren't the only one to fall pray to this. Men do too, though probably not near as much.
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    ...You learn to listen to your body's hunger and thirst signals. You understand that eating healthy does not mean eating nothing but "healthy foods". That it's all about balance. ...

    The original post is just great and on the money, thanks for bringing it round again folks. And ^this^ --- "eating healthy does not mean eating nothing but 'healthy foods'" -- WOW! Thank you. Illumination.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I see lots of people in here, and every other forum where food and eating is discussed, "confessing" daily. Especially women aren't really entitled to enjoyment. At least not one they freely can administer themselves.

    We might think we are getting less religious, but we have just shifted focus from sex to food. "Eating clean" is another bizarre "morality disguised as health" thing.

    I might regret eating something or too much of it, even feel weak, but I don't feel guilty. Either I'm lucky, or I'm just not a real woman.

    Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    kelsully wrote: »
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    kelsully wrote: »
    I suffer from feeling the need to deserve food but I am an extreme type person. If I am not following "the rules" then I feel out of control. I do not enjoy indulgences as I regret them and cannot just eat in moderation.

    How does one find it in them to be able to eat freely without needing to be a fitness site in which they log their food to hold themselves accountable?

    You learn to listen to your body's hunger and thirst signals. You understand that eating healthy does not mean eating nothing but "healthy foods". That it's all about balance.

    At least that's how I do it.

    Pretty certain I have never been able to respond to hunger/full cues. I am able to deny hunger but not recognize the cue that I have had enough.

    Well, I did say "learn". ;)

    It may not be something you can do now, but your body does give you signals and you can learn to recognize them if you want.

    I'm not sure that's the case for everyone. The body certainly tries to signal you when you're full - but I think in many cases that system just isn't working right, in small or large ways. It would be surprising if it truly did work for everyone - there's no other system in the body that works perfectly for everyone.

    Thankfully there are tools that can help those of us who won't rely on our bodies to regulate our intake. I do agree with the point about balance.
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
    There is a (different) type of food guilt found with those who were raised in a "less than enough" environment and were taught never to waste anything. Like myself. It's sinful to discard foods.

    Later in life in a more abundant environment we basically become a food garbage disposer.

    I'm working to change that behavior. If the milk is approaching its expiration date while still half a carton full, screw it I'm not gonna overload my body with it. It will go to the trash bin. The six jars of spaghetti bought a while ago from a sale or in moment of weakness will go to the trash when their shelf life is over.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    kelsully wrote: »
    I suffer from feeling the need to deserve food but I am an extreme type person. If I am not following "the rules" then I feel out of control. I do not enjoy indulgences as I regret them and cannot just eat in moderation.

    How does one find it in them to be able to eat freely without needing to be a fitness site in which they log their food to hold themselves accountable?

    It may be something you need to discuss with a professional, but you could start by trying to accept that we will always need checks and balances to maintain a healthy weight, and that IS healthy.

    What's not healthy is letting it interfere with your enjoyment of life.

    If you can't use priorities to eat the things you most love from day to day (these things change daily with me), that might be a sign of needing to make changes.

    Best wishes.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    endlessfall16 wrote: »
    There is a (different) type of food guilt found with those who were raised in a "less than enough" environment and were taught never to waste anything. Like myself. It's sinful to discard foods.

    Later in life in a more abundant environment we basically become a food garbage disposer.

    I'm working to change that behavior. If the milk is approaching its expiration date while still half a carton full, screw it I'm not gonna overload my body with it. It will go to the trash bin. The six jars of spaghetti bought a while ago from a sale or in moment of weakness will go to the trash when their shelf life is over.

    Interesting you mention throwing out food, especially if it's going bad. I actually didn't start to really consume a lot of vegetables until I started throwing them out. Used to be, if I would buy some veg and didn't particularly like it, I'd hang onto it for days, if not weeks until it really went bad and I had no choice but to throw it out. Now, once I know I've given it an honest shot and it's not working out, into the garbage it goes, which frees up my bare fridge, freezer or house for more vegetables to either try for the first time or in a new way, or otherwise actually eat because I already like them. I also use my freezer whenever possible for storing vegetables - that way, there's no pressure to eat them immediately and they still do not go bad
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited September 2017
    Thanks for reposting the pic @Orphia - I was wondering!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    endlessfall16 wrote: »
    There is a (different) type of food guilt found with those who were raised in a "less than enough" environment and were taught never to waste anything. Like myself. It's sinful to discard foods.

    Later in life in a more abundant environment we basically become a food garbage disposer.

    I'm working to change that behavior. If the milk is approaching its expiration date while still half a carton full, screw it I'm not gonna overload my body with it. It will go to the trash bin. The six jars of spaghetti bought a while ago from a sale or in moment of weakness will go to the trash when their shelf life is over.

    Ya, I heard the "clean plate club" nonsense when I was growing up. That was fine when I was young, active, and the portions were reasonable, but sure doesn't work for the average entree at an American restaurant. So now I just plan to bring half home, and when I'm not going straight home order accordingly.

    FYI, "Best By" dates are not expiration/food safety dates. I find this site really helpful http://www.stilltasty.com
  • Windrunner666
    Windrunner666 Posts: 91 Member
    I used to think like that, and I developed bulimia that lasted for a year. I used to purge myself after I ate "forbidden" foods and took me a long time to let go of such distorted thinking. It's scary how crucial your perception is, when comming to weightloss.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Windrunner666 wrote: »
    I used to think like that, and I developed bulimia that lasted for a year. I used to purge myself after I ate "forbidden" foods and took me a long time to let go of such distorted thinking. It's scary how crucial your perception is, when comming to weightloss.

    Insightful. Yes, it's exactly the kind of thinking that leads to food disorders. I'm glad to hear you eventually let go of it.
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