People keep telling me to 'eat again.'

Fatvaporizer
Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
edited November 21 in Food and Nutrition
Hi, I'm about 10 to 15 pounds away from my goal weight of 145 lbs. I started at 210 and am down to 155 lbs now. But, I've recently been getting a lot of annoying comments such as 'You need to stop losing weight,' and 'You have to start eating again.' I have been eating! The thing is, I just haven't been eating a lot. I guess my self-created rules of 'Don't eat when you're not hungry,' and 'eating very little,' throughout my weight loss journey have stayed consistent.

The thing is, I just am not that hungry and don't find it that hard to eat 'healthy' and eat less. My body still has flabs and jiggly fat in my hips and belly, etc., but my face is pretty slim now, and that's what probably freaked people out thinking I'm anorexic or something, which obviously I'm not, because they can't see underneath my clothes.

So, I need some help, please. I need to lose that 10 or 15 pounds more to be in that 'perfect BMI spot,' of 145 lbs for my height (5'7") and age (mid-20s).

I want to lose my remaining body fat, get that toned and slim look, with some muscle (just not too much, because I'm going for toned and slim look, not bodybuilder.)

What CAN I eat and shouldn't eat so I can maintain a 'full look' but not 'fat,' if that makes sense? Whenever I do what I did when I was very overweight (not eat when I'm not hungry, and eat very little), I get that weak look, where my face gets really sunken in and skinny.

How can I maintain a 'full, healthy look, but not fat?' that people will stop telling me to 'start eating again.' I hope that makes sense... I want to be healthy looking. Is the general rule of thumb to eat more protein and less carbs, or junk food, or sugary foods? Maybe I'm at the weight and point where I should eat as much proteins and veggies I want, and maintain regular exercise (cardio and strength training) so I don't get the sunken in weak look. And just avoid the carbs and bad foods, as usual.

Proteins and Veggies = good. Sugars and carbs = bad ?

Replies

  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    I reached my goal weight of 120 two years ago. I'm 5'2". The problem was my face looked gaunt, even to me, but I still had belly fat. I got so discouraged I ended up gaining 25#. I just stopped logging, and caring. Now I'm back and at 128. It's taken me 9 months to lose 17 pounds. My goal is 125 and then I plan on staying there for awhile and either losing down to 120, or lifting weights, or both.
  • KarenSmith2018
    KarenSmith2018 Posts: 302 Member
    Carbs are not bad for starters. They are required to fuel life and exercise. A balanced diet containing everything (protein, fats and carbs) will ensure a healthy life.

    Lifting weights, body weight exercises and a little cardio will help to sculpt what you have. Eating at maintenance or fractionally below will help reduce body fat and show muscle you have. To add muscle you'll need a surplus of calories and gaining muscle comes with gaining fat.

    Try not to label foods as good or bad. Everything has its place. Try and meet the MFP macro split if carbs fats and protein. All over weight lifting plan. Some cardio. Patience. It will take time. 12+ months potentially to achieve the "look" you want. And don't worry about getting to body builder status that takes years a very specific training program a surplus of calories and hours in the gym. You will not turn into a body builder without significant dedication and effort. It doesn't happen by accident.
  • hedwardsb
    hedwardsb Posts: 201 Member
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited September 2017
    You can't choose where the fat comes off. If your goal weight leaves your face gaunt then you decide whether you keep a few pounds on to stop that happening.

    You might also want to look into recomp.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,464 Member
    Maybe I am not understanding your real question, but as to the annoying people who tell you to start eating again, the answer is,"I know, isn't it great! I can eat cake again! AND look great!" May not really be the real answer, but may shut them up. As for your face being too thin, do your mom and dad have thin faces? Or other relatives who are at a good weight? Do you look more like them than you realized before? To make your face look fuller, haircut? Different hairdo?
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    If you are eating enough according to your meal plan and if you like the way your face looks, ignore them. When I was in my 20s and had lost some weight -- may 10-15 lbs. and was at an ideal weight, I had all kinds of people telling me to eat more and shoving more food on my plate. I was not underweight and really it was none of their business. As someone else says, they are not used to you looking that way and since they aren´t monitoring your food intact they really can´t know whether you are eating enough or not.
  • staticsplit
    staticsplit Posts: 538 Member
    ^This above post is the perfect advice, IMO! Lose the last bit slowly, make sure you are eating within the recommended range, and you'll be fine.
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    " But, I've recently been getting a lot of annoying comments such as 'You need to stop losing weight,' and 'You have to start eating again.' "

    If you rebound and actually put weight back on, they will STFU pretty quick. That was my experience. Now that it has become visually apparent to the people around me that getting fit is a STRUGGLE, they've suddenly stopped with the peanut gallery comments.

    Otherwise ignore them. Only you can do you.
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I got some of those kinds of comments as I got close to goal. I kept on course anyway. Even I felt that my face/neck didn't look great, and my upper body was looking bony even as my stomach and lower body looked flabby.

    The rest of the weight, unsurprisingly, came off mainly in areas that still were fat, stomach and lower body. Then, over a period of a few months in maintenance, the other problem-thin areas started looking better, too. I think it may've been some combination of glycogen replenishment, shrinkage of residual loose skin, and the general good effects of coming out of continual deficit.

    I even had one fitness instructor who I'd taken classes from regularly while fat, come back to sub a couple of times, once just about the time I reached goal, then 2-3 months later, when I was maintaining at the same weight. The first time, she commented positively on my weight loss. The second time, she admitted that while she was glad to see I was no longer obese, she thought I looked alarmingly skinny the first time, but was looking fit and healthy the 2nd time. Weight was the same, fitness the same, the only difference was a couple months in maintenance.

    So, I think part of what you're experiencing is people reacting to the change in you, and being shocked by that difference, particularly in a social setting where so many people these days are overweight, so that overweight looks normal. These people will adjust to the new you, over some time.

    The other part may be just some transitory appearance issues related to your body being in a deficit for quite a while, and needing to find a new stability (skin, glycogen, etc.) at a new, lower weight.

    With only 10-15 pounds left to lose, your healthiest choice would be to lose the rest very slowly, no more than 0.5 pounds a week. If you're losing much faster than that, start adding 100-200 calories daily once a week, continuing doing that weekly until you get to the right loss rate.

    When you reach goal weight, do the same to find your right maintenance calorie level. Then give yourself a maintenance goal weight range, a few pounds above and below goal weight - wide enough to accommodate your normal daily weight fluctuations. If you go over the upper end of the range for a few days in a row, cut back a little until you're in the lower side of the range. If you go below the lower limit, eat a little more until you weight stays uo where you want it.

    Focus on eating a nutritious, well-balanced menu that includes adequate protein, adequate fats (especially those from healthy sources like nuts, avocados, olives, olive oil, etc.), and lots of healthy veggies/fruit. You want good nutrition, satiation, and varied foods that you, personally, find delicious.

    On the "toned" front, what you want is progressive, challenging strength training. Progress will be gradual. Think about it: There's no way you're going to just wake up one morning and suddenly find yourself a bulging bodybuilder! Because change - even from an aggressive program - is quite slow, there'll be plenty of time to observe changes in your body and adjust your program to achieve and maintain the look you want.

    Best wishes - so exciting that home plate is coming into view!

    Thank you!
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Thanks everyone for your tips!
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    rybo wrote: »
    hedwardsb wrote: »
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.

    Wherever you read that is sort of false. Strength training and adequate protein will maintain muscle mass, especially if you don't create a very steep deficit. Technically there will probably be a little bit of muscle loss, but if you maintain all the above factors, you would never notice from a visible standpoint. Certainly not a reason to give up those last few pounds

    OP,
    to get the look you want you are going to need some patience, a solid strength training program, and some cardio if that's your choice(recommend at least some). You don't have to avoid carbs or sugar, however, limiting calorie dense junk foods that could send you above maintenance is probably a good thing. And protein & vegetables are always good, but don't feel that you are severely limited in your choices. Lastly, please don't worry about looking like a body builder, that doesn't happen by accident, it takes a LOT of very hard work and discipline.

    Right, it doesn't happen by accident, and it takes a lot of hard work. But I'm doing like three days per week of strength training and weights...and I see my thighs bulging already. Is three or four days "a lot?" How do I know what's a lot?
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    rybo wrote: »
    hedwardsb wrote: »
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.

    Wherever you read that is sort of false. Strength training and adequate protein will maintain muscle mass, especially if you don't create a very steep deficit. Technically there will probably be a little bit of muscle loss, but if you maintain all the above factors, you would never notice from a visible standpoint. Certainly not a reason to give up those last few pounds

    OP,
    to get the look you want you are going to need some patience, a solid strength training program, and some cardio if that's your choice(recommend at least some). You don't have to avoid carbs or sugar, however, limiting calorie dense junk foods that could send you above maintenance is probably a good thing. And protein & vegetables are always good, but don't feel that you are severely limited in your choices. Lastly, please don't worry about looking like a body builder, that doesn't happen by accident, it takes a LOT of very hard work and discipline.

    Right, it doesn't happen by accident, and it takes a lot of hard work. But I'm doing like three days per week of strength training and weights...and I see my thighs bulging already. Is three or four days "a lot?" How do I know what's a lot?

    'Bulging'? Really? :huh:

    Yes, like, when I tense that area, it bulges up...isn't that a sign of bulging?
  • jdlobb
    jdlobb Posts: 1,232 Member
    rybo wrote: »
    hedwardsb wrote: »
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.

    Wherever you read that is sort of false. Strength training and adequate protein will maintain muscle mass, especially if you don't create a very steep deficit. Technically there will probably be a little bit of muscle loss, but if you maintain all the above factors, you would never notice from a visible standpoint. Certainly not a reason to give up those last few pounds

    OP,
    to get the look you want you are going to need some patience, a solid strength training program, and some cardio if that's your choice(recommend at least some). You don't have to avoid carbs or sugar, however, limiting calorie dense junk foods that could send you above maintenance is probably a good thing. And protein & vegetables are always good, but don't feel that you are severely limited in your choices. Lastly, please don't worry about looking like a body builder, that doesn't happen by accident, it takes a LOT of very hard work and discipline.

    Right, it doesn't happen by accident, and it takes a lot of hard work. But I'm doing like three days per week of strength training and weights...and I see my thighs bulging already. Is three or four days "a lot?" How do I know what's a lot?

    'Bulging'? Really? :huh:

    Yes, like, when I tense that area, it bulges up...isn't that a sign of bulging?

    that's called muscle tone. They're supposed to do that! Good work!! Don't let the haters put you down.
  • maggibailey
    maggibailey Posts: 289 Member
    Unless you are eating in a surplus and working much harder in the gym than the average joe you are not going to end up bulky and muscle builder looking. It is actually a lot of hard work and a lot of calories to build up that sort of muscle.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    rybo wrote: »
    hedwardsb wrote: »
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.

    Wherever you read that is sort of false. Strength training and adequate protein will maintain muscle mass, especially if you don't create a very steep deficit. Technically there will probably be a little bit of muscle loss, but if you maintain all the above factors, you would never notice from a visible standpoint. Certainly not a reason to give up those last few pounds

    OP,
    to get the look you want you are going to need some patience, a solid strength training program, and some cardio if that's your choice(recommend at least some). You don't have to avoid carbs or sugar, however, limiting calorie dense junk foods that could send you above maintenance is probably a good thing. And protein & vegetables are always good, but don't feel that you are severely limited in your choices. Lastly, please don't worry about looking like a body builder, that doesn't happen by accident, it takes a LOT of very hard work and discipline.

    Right, it doesn't happen by accident, and it takes a lot of hard work. But I'm doing like three days per week of strength training and weights...and I see my thighs bulging already. Is three or four days "a lot?" How do I know what's a lot?

    'Bulging'? Really? :huh:

    Yes, like, when I tense that area, it bulges up...isn't that a sign of bulging?

    Not the same thing. Muscles always look a little thicker when you tense them, since tensing them shortens them. Think about a rubber band: When it's stretched, it looks longer & thinner. In the reverse condition, it looks shorter but wider.

    Anecdote: I get to know a lot of rowers in a strong NCAA division I program. I watched the Varsity's weight workout once. They were rolling out weight plates that I swear looked like freight-train wheels, and loading multiples of those for leg work. When you see them right after a race in the"pumped" post workout state, they look very muscle-y . . . maybe a way you'd prefer not to look, I dunno.

    But here's the thing: I go to their end-of-season banquet. In their high heels and party dresses - often short, spaghetti-strap, rather minimalist confections - they look sleek, "toned", slim, elegant and beautiful. I can't speak for you, but most women would be overjoyed to look the way they look.
  • jdlobb
    jdlobb Posts: 1,232 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    rybo wrote: »
    hedwardsb wrote: »
    I have a similar problem. My goal weight looks good in my problem areas, belly and legs, but from my ribs up i end up looking emaciated , sickly and gaunt :confounded:

    I know this is of no help to you, but i have given up getting down to that weight again, 5'8"/143lbs, I am however 45 years old, so i need that bit of extra padding on the top half of my body. I'm currently 150lbs and even with the flabby belly, this weight is going to have to be good enough!!

    Christine_72, I'm about your age and facing the same issue. At 5'5" around 125 pounds right now, I'm happy with everything except my triceps and my stomach. However, I keep reading that even strength training while losing weight won't maintain muscle mass, so I don't think I want to lose the last 10-14 pounds that would make me happy with my tummy and triceps.

    Wherever you read that is sort of false. Strength training and adequate protein will maintain muscle mass, especially if you don't create a very steep deficit. Technically there will probably be a little bit of muscle loss, but if you maintain all the above factors, you would never notice from a visible standpoint. Certainly not a reason to give up those last few pounds

    OP,
    to get the look you want you are going to need some patience, a solid strength training program, and some cardio if that's your choice(recommend at least some). You don't have to avoid carbs or sugar, however, limiting calorie dense junk foods that could send you above maintenance is probably a good thing. And protein & vegetables are always good, but don't feel that you are severely limited in your choices. Lastly, please don't worry about looking like a body builder, that doesn't happen by accident, it takes a LOT of very hard work and discipline.

    Right, it doesn't happen by accident, and it takes a lot of hard work. But I'm doing like three days per week of strength training and weights...and I see my thighs bulging already. Is three or four days "a lot?" How do I know what's a lot?

    'Bulging'? Really? :huh:

    Yes, like, when I tense that area, it bulges up...isn't that a sign of bulging?

    Not the same thing. Muscles always look a little thicker when you tense them, since tensing them shortens them. Think about a rubber band: When it's stretched, it looks longer & thinner. In the reverse condition, it looks shorter but wider.

    Anecdote: I get to know a lot of rowers in a strong NCAA division I program. I watched the Varsity's weight workout once. They were rolling out weight plates that I swear looked like freight-train wheels, and loading multiples of those for leg work. When you see them right after a race in the"pumped" post workout state, they look very muscle-y . . . maybe a way you'd prefer not to look, I dunno.

    But here's the thing: I go to their end-of-season banquet. In their high heels and party dresses - often short, spaghetti-strap, rather minimalist confections - they look sleek, "toned", slim, elegant and beautiful. I can't speak for you, but most women would be overjoyed to look the way they look.

    female rowers are right up there with female swimmers on the scale of physical perfection.
  • Avidkeo
    Avidkeo Posts: 3,206 Member
    I'm only about half way to my goal weight, with about 30lb to go. I'm already getting comments like "when are you going to stop?" and "you look great as you are". While they are well meaning I find them highly offensive because I feel like they are trying to discourage me. I admit a big part of me just wants to call them out and tell them they are being offensive because a: they may not realise it and b: I really want them to shut up. its often the same people making the comments.

    Moral of the story is ignore the comments (yep easier said than done sometimes) and concentrate on doing what YOU want to do.
  • jdlobb
    jdlobb Posts: 1,232 Member
    Avidkeo wrote: »
    I'm only about half way to my goal weight, with about 30lb to go. I'm already getting comments like "when are you going to stop?" and "you look great as you are". While they are well meaning I find them highly offensive because I feel like they are trying to discourage me. I admit a big part of me just wants to call them out and tell them they are being offensive because a: they may not realise it and b: I really want them to shut up. its often the same people making the comments.

    Moral of the story is ignore the comments (yep easier said than done sometimes) and concentrate on doing what YOU want to do.

    our own personal successes make those around us feel insecure.

    just gotta

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  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
    You need to lift. That'll tone and tighten everything up. And get rid of that bit of fat haning around.
This discussion has been closed.