Do you ever give unsolicited advice on someone's diary?

2

Replies

  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    No, i'll "atta boy" them for meeting their goal and look at their diary for ideas for my diary but unless they ask that's the extent of it. Unless they ask for their diary to be critiqued I'm hands off. There are a few people that I'd probably be fine with that if they did it to me, though.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Meh, it's sort of the point of making your diary public. If you don't want feedback make it privet. That's my advice.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I only make positive comments. It's none of my business what my mfp's eat, they know what they're doing and tit's heir choice. I'm no expert and wouldn't start judging/criticising anyones food intake.
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    Meh, it's sort of the point of making your diary public. If you don't want feedback make it privet. That's my advice.

    I actually don't think it's the point at all.
  • Kagard11
    Kagard11 Posts: 396 Member
    I only comment if someone asks for assisance of why they are not losing the weight that they thought they should be!
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    I only comment if someone asks for assisance of why they are not losing the weight that they thought they should be!

    exactly!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Meh, it's sort of the point of making your diary public. If you don't want feedback make it privet. That's my advice.

    I actually don't think it's the point at all.

    Really? Then what is the point?
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    I don't give unsolicited advice because I don't think its my business to offer it up unless they ask for it. We all have bad days and what if I am commenting on their sugar intake being way too high on the one day for the whole month that it is.... then I look like an a**. We all have off days or cheat days, most people are aware of what they are going over on without being told (at least if they care about making healthy changes and are watching their food intake). Now if they ask for advice that's a different story.

    I also don't just arbitrarily say "good job" on someone's diary if they came under calorie count. I only give praise if I have looked at the diary and it was a day worthy of praise. Its annoying to see people go "way to go" and then you look at the diary and they skipped meals, or ate really unhealthy or something. That is not productive at all to encouraging someone.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
    I have had some people comment on mine. But they were right and I appreciated the advice. I never had anyone say anything mean or spiteful. There are so many people on this site that know a lot more about nutrition and such than I do. So thank you to those that do care.:heart:
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
    A while back, some person POSTED ON HERE the content of another's food diary and added her unsolicited comments, which were pretty harsh and alluded to the fact that the person was trying to kill herself, which wasn't true of course. The person "commenting" was pretty much kicked off the MFP site. WOW!!! it was a major explosion. My two cents, mind your own business and worry about your own self.

    Just sayin.
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    Meh, it's sort of the point of making your diary public. If you don't want feedback make it privet. That's my advice.

    I actually don't think it's the point at all.

    Really? Then what is the point?

    For me if I know people are watching my intake, I won't eat that cookie. But honestly, I'm never over on calories, it's not like I am eating 2000 calories instead of 1200. I'm eating my vegetables, drinking my water, watching my sugar, etc...But SOMEONE has to comment on how I had two eggs today. Does it affect you? Does it affect my weight loss? No. Now if I'm over on calories or had a terrible day, feel free to write "not your best" or something. But when there's nothing really to criticize? Why do you feel the need to criticize it? The point is not to criticize, it's to hold yourself accountable. But I AM holding myself accountable.....so ugh?!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I don't really look at anyone's diary. One, because my diet is low carb. And two, if I want to learn to eat better, I'll research it myself on a site that knows a bit more what they're talking about.

    And three, who the he** has time to stalk other people's diaries unless they contain juicy gossip about their hooring co-worker or something?
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    All I'm saying is that when you make information (any information) public, then you open yourself up to criticism. You really can't complain; you're doing it to yourself.

    I guess maybe if I wasn't losing any weight week after week, I might be open to help. But I find it seriously annoying when someone writes "oh wow, lots of salmon and chicken today!" or " peanuts for a morning and evening snack? how interesting..."

    wtheck you trying to say?!

    It sounds like they're trying to make a comment to see interested in it, and you're getting bent out of shape over nothing. I don't usually give people unsolicited advice, however if they're doing something repeatedly that could be unhealthy, I might mention it in a nonchalant way (especially if they're eating too little). Sidenote: being over on certain macros really isn't a huge deal unless it's a bunch of unhealthy fats or carbs or all your protein is collagen.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    It wouldn't bother you if you ate more veggies. :smile:

    J/K - I don't look at people's diaries anyway. :laugh:
  • astrosnider
    astrosnider Posts: 151 Member
    No, I would never give unsolicited advice on an individual's diary. But I am surprised in looking at them sometimes to see how many people go to fast food restaurants for a large proportion of their meals. I realize they are fast and cheap, but it seems to go against the whole idea of changing to a different style of eating, one that emphasizes whole grains, fruits, vegetables and real food.
  • delidot
    delidot Posts: 12
    What works for me, may not work for someone else. We are all do the best we know how and are learning from each other just by checking out other food diaries.

    No one likes be told what to do!
  • sevencallmemom
    sevencallmemom Posts: 505 Member
    I'd never do it, but I saw someone else do it yesterday and it annoyed the heck out of me. I got on there and tried to soften the blow a bit with a positive comment but it left me thinking, "This is EXACTLY why mine is private.".
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Nope, don't stick my oar in. I say well done if the have done well and I can be bothered, keep my mouth shut if its bad.

    What ^^she^^ said.

    Opening your diary is NOT an invitation for people to say whatever they want. If I want advice I'll ask, otherwise please keep it to yourself. I have mine open to my friends just as accountability for myself, or an opportunity to see new ideas for meals.
  • Rockindreamer
    Rockindreamer Posts: 78
    Sounds like you need to message the offender that it bothers you, or remove said offender. I don't get the comments on mine. I have things that i like in moderation. Im with most of the others, if they are severely under eating I will say something. if they get offended, i remove them. I dont need people hurting themselves in my feed. I love having my diary public, makes me accountable. and I love getting food ideas from my friends diaries, keeps things interesting! =)
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    This is the first time I've made my diary public to my friends only. I wasnt sure if I wanted anyone commenting on how I eat for that reason. I will see how it goes and if it annoys me then I will just make it private.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    I comment on my friends diaries. I thought that was the point of sharing it with your friends. But I mainly only comment when someone is significantly under their goal and/or skips meals.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    Also, if people didn't comment, I would think no one is looking at it, and having people see it is part of good motivation.
  • Fochizzy
    Fochizzy Posts: 505 Member
    The only thing I'll ever mention, unsolicited, are things like the fact that I'm jealous of the 10 ounce steak he had for dinner while staying within his calorie goals. Or perhaps getting a recipe for a meal that had a tasty-sounding description. I can't even imagine offering advice on drinking more water or eating out less, unless I was specifically asked.

    Anyone who did that with my diary (and mine is only open to those on my friends list) would probably find themselves un-friended after the second "offense."

    I think those are great comments. I think what she meant was when people try to tell you that you are "doing it wrong." I think your kind of feedback is great ^_^
  • Pangui
    Pangui Posts: 373 Member
    I have friends here on MFP for support. I don't mind if they comment on my diary, but so far all the comments have been positive. Perhaps my attitude would change if they weren't so nice.

    I am here to support and encourage my MFP friends, not to educate them. If they want my advice, I will give it because I am so excited about the journey I chose. Otherwise, I am looking for only NICE things to write. I may peek at a diary and if I comment on it, you can bet it will be nice and supportive. Most of the time I am just curious about what other people are eating. It usually makes me feel better about my own choices.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I wouldn't want someone to comment either on my choice to eat two eggs. Everybody has different opinions on what is healthy or not. I think two eggs is perfectly fine! But other people will gasp at that. You just have to know what you are doing works for you. And if it really gets your goat, tell the person you think so or make your diary private.
  • RainyMel
    RainyMel Posts: 16
    It's never happened to me... But I would be kind of annoyed if someone did it -every day-.
    I know that I'm always over on sugar, and I struggle every day to eat things with less sugar -- but it seems like everything in the house has at least 7g of sugar or more per serving! Bleh

    I would be happy, I think, if someone commented nicely with a suggestion on how to cut back on something that was consistently over. If I wasn't, I would make my diary private.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    I wouldn't want someone to comment either on my choice to eat two eggs. Everybody has different opinions on what is healthy or not. I think two eggs is perfectly fine! But other people will gasp at that. You just have to know what you are doing works for you. And if it really gets your goat, tell the person you think so or make your diary private.

    Eggs give you super-aids. Just like aspartame will.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Meh, it's sort of the point of making your diary public. If you don't want feedback make it privet. That's my advice.

    I actually don't think it's the point at all.

    Really? Then what is the point?

    For me if I know people are watching my intake, I won't eat that cookie. But honestly, I'm never over on calories, it's not like I am eating 2000 calories instead of 1200. I'm eating my vegetables, drinking my water, watching my sugar, etc...But SOMEONE has to comment on how I had two eggs today. Does it affect you? Does it affect my weight loss? No. Now if I'm over on calories or had a terrible day, feel free to write "not your best" or something. But when there's nothing really to criticize? Why do you feel the need to criticize it? The point is not to criticize, it's to hold yourself accountable. But I AM holding myself accountable.....so ugh?!

    Sorry to not be more sympathetic, but I'm one of those people who think if you don't want people in your business, don't put your business public on the internet. That aside, if it's just 1 or 2 people that are bugging you, just ask them to stop. If they don't, delete them. You also have the power to block them too.
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    I guess maybe if I wasn't losing any weight week after week, I might be open to help. But I find it seriously annoying when someone writes "oh wow, lots of salmon and chicken today!" or " peanuts for a morning and evening snack? how interesting..."

    wtheck you trying to say?!

    People really do that? wow...

    I don't ever look at someones food diary, and I would never comment on it.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    Only if I was asked or if someone was fresh out of ideas as to why they continued to gain and had posted, we are here to support and encourage - must admit, I'm the same, undereating during the week to 'pay' for a bad day - which is what I think most of us would do when we hit maintenance....however, I guess it all depends on the context and how the feedback is worded - I'm sure they meant well!
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