" You already blew your diet"

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Replies

  • Muscleflex79
    Muscleflex79 Posts: 1,917 Member
    rickiimarieee wrote: »
    I know it's a good thing they don't gain but it's insane to me how much they eat without gaining anything. Yes I mean they aren't gaining excess weight but with how they are eating they should of gained atleast some. I know I would of gained like crazy eating how they do lol.

    no, it's actually not a good thing that your children aren't gaining weight...as someone said above that is called failure to thrive...
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    edited September 2017
    Ugh! I hate the "I thought you were on a diet" type remarks. And I'm one of those that doesn't mind the word diet. And I'm sure it's even more difficult when it comes to family because giving a sarcastic rude remark isn't a good idea.
  • carinaeletoile
    carinaeletoile Posts: 1 Member
    jasummers76 wrote: »
    So, I had two pieces of taco pizza the other night. Which I budgeted my kcals for and was fine going over a bit. Then the family needed milkshakes, when asked I said no thanks. That's where the above comment came in, I wanted to say I am not dieting anymore, just being healthier. But it is a conversation I have had with them before so what is the use. I would love to blow up and say that they are not helping me by making desserts every other night, and at times it feels like they are out to see me fail, but I know in the long run learning to say no to temptations more often will help me. I just want the whole " diet " thing to stop being brought up. If I decide to get a regular McDonald's hamburger without fries, that doesn't mean I am going off the rails for the day, days or weeks anymore. It is just getting so frustrating being a father of three with a wife and mother-in-law who make zero effort to make a dinner or two a week that is not so unhealthy. They order out at least 8 times a month and I will get a burger or taco and they nag me about it. About how I have gone off my diet.. okay rant over

    It's hard reining it in. I speak from experience, but it can be done. Don't let them sway you -- you started right, but let those voices get to you. rheddmobile got it right -- have that chat with your spouse. Chances are they don't realize they're sabotaging you or making you feel bad about your healthy choices.

    Good luck!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Active growing children can eat a lot and not "gain". Can't resent them for it. Let them have their cake and eat it too.

    Dad, every time you turn down a treat you are being a good example. In the menu planning, is there ever a "dad night" on the BBQ?
  • sydneypo
    sydneypo Posts: 28 Member
    jasummers76 wrote: »
    So, I had two pieces of taco pizza the other night. Which I budgeted my kcals for and was fine going over a bit. Then the family needed milkshakes, when asked I said no thanks. That's where the above comment came in, I wanted to say I am not dieting anymore, just being healthier. But it is a conversation I have had with them before so what is the use. I would love to blow up and say that they are not helping me by making desserts every other night, and at times it feels like they are out to see me fail, but I know in the long run learning to say no to temptations more often will help me. I just want the whole " diet " thing to stop being brought up. If I decide to get a regular McDonald's hamburger without fries, that doesn't mean I am going off the rails for the day, days or weeks anymore. It is just getting so frustrating being a father of three with a wife and mother-in-law who make zero effort to make a dinner or two a week that is not so unhealthy. They order out at least 8 times a month and I will get a burger or taco and they nag me about it. About how I have gone off my diet.. okay rant over

    First, good for you! That's a really challenging situation when you don't necessarily have your spouse's support but I truly hope you stick with it so you become example for your loved ones. Sometimes I think when we say "no thanks" or get something not as "fun" off the menu people tend to get self-conscious about their own food choices because they know they should be making similar choices. It's almost like they guilt you into indulging with them so they don't have to deal with their own insecurities. That "life is short, eat the cake" and "do what makes you happy today" mentality is a double-edged sword and quite possibly the reason we're all battling being overweight. :D
  • bkbirge
    bkbirge Posts: 107 Member
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    A lot of people don't understand that weight loss is about calories not type of food.

    This.

    I am of the opinion that being patient and explaining to your family no matter how many times it annoys you is a good thing in the long run, you are modeling behavior for your children that may not be apparent now but will be immensely helpful to them later in life. Just keep doing what you are doing.

  • bijarkhan
    bijarkhan Posts: 157 Member
    There are a whole range of answers. You need to choose what is best for your situation. It does sound like you have a good grasp on your situation and knowing what are your obstacles in regards to losing weight. This forum is the perfect place to vent out your frustrations and have support. I have started a group that starts on Oct. 1 called Unity-Getting Passed the Struggle. I think have a support group can get you bring you positive reinforcement. This is open for everyone to join. You don't want to ruin the relationship and even unconsciously blame the family for your success. This is your path to travel, your hand to mouth as to say what you are putting in your body, how much you are exercising, and your mental well being. Realizing that will give you inner strength to find solutions (such as preparing good foods at home, going shopping to fit your needs) and later they will understand and might join you on your journey when they start to see slowly the results.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    This past Sunday my daughter hosted a "dinner and a movie" event at her home in honor of my birthday. It's been more than three years from my surgery and I've been living with diet restrictions longer than that, but I still get offered food and drink, sometimes more than once. It's an ingrained social custom.

    I was amused this time to see different family members explain to each other why I waited twenty minutes before accepting pie, and why I refused a drink with dinner.

    I just explain again, or just simply say "no thank you" and move on. If I make no big deal, they don't either.
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
    This comes form the misconception that you must not eat this or that in order to lose weight. There is a lot of woo out there and when you try to explain I can eat this ice cream or pizza etc. because I have added it into my calories for the day they don't understand. Do what you do stay within your calories and you will lose weight try not to let them get to you.
  • alondrakayy
    alondrakayy Posts: 304 Member
    I don't get those remarks anymore, but I used to from my husband. I finally sat down with him and told him how I felt and that I know we have a difference of opinions when it comes to dieting (he eats clean, I track) but I'd love to hear more support than judgmental remarks. He totally got it, and though sometimes he cant help himself (especially when I complain to him during weight stalls and he reminds me of the pizza I had the night before).. it's gotten SO MUCH better. Mother in law's are a different story, just completely ignore them.
  • jasummers76
    jasummers76 Posts: 225 Member
    edited September 2017
    Thank you for all the support. Last two nights the made chocolate cake for dessert. We are low on money until payday so I am without my beloved Halo Top. The cakes we're cut in two inch by four inch pieces and I had a half a piece three times..lol I just added 100 kcals for each sampling. I am sure they were less but I would rather over estimate then under. Dinner has been deep fried chicken and pasta with meat sauce. I could of had the pasta in a small portion just am not a fan. As I said we are low on money so I am out of tuna, chicken and fish. So I have been eating veggies not horrible I am going grocery shopping tomorrow and will be able to stock up on my needs. I am also buying a mini fridge for the garage so I can have some prepared chicken and other choices for my meals without having to fight for room in the kitchen with the Mrs and mother-in-law trying to cook at the same time so I can at least eat one meal with the family. I am down from 350 lbs at least that is the last official weigh in to 265 as of yesterday. It has been three years of yoyo'ing but the last 8 months have been a pretty steady decline in weight. of course I have those up weeks but I keep it in perspective these days. I am going to add a photo the first is me around 300-290 did not know it was taken was backing up photos on the computer and saw it.. it was labeled fattie.. really hurt to read that and I was about to eat away the pain.. considering the "fattie" pic was not even my highest weight. But something clicked in me and instead I went and took the second photo. I see some changes not what I want but I am going to use these as motivation instead of a defeating blow.
  • jasummers76
    jasummers76 Posts: 225 Member
    I don't know how to add photos. Help please
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    @jasummers76 if you're adding photots from the computer just click the icon over your post window that looks like a snapshot and click "choose file". Then add from your computer

    PS - keep up the great work and don't let your family hold you back. Do it for you. Great progress!
  • Rickster1967
    Rickster1967 Posts: 485 Member
    Your wife and M-i-LO would be getting a rocket if they were mine.

    Fricking well sabotaging efforts to get healthy. My M-i-L was not welcome at mine anyway and I'd never put up with her interfering

    Tell your wife where to stick it too.

    Fricking women
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    jasummers76 wrote: »
    Thank you for all the support. Last two nights the made chocolate cake for dessert. We are low on money until payday so I am without my beloved Halo Top. The cakes we're cut in two inch by four inch pieces and I had a half a piece three times..lol I just added 100 kcals for each sampling. I am sure they were less but I would rather over estimate then under. Dinner has been deep fried chicken and pasta with meat sauce. I could of had the pasta in a small portion just am not a fan. As I said we are low on money so I am out of tuna, chicken and fish. So I have been eating veggies not horrible I am going grocery shopping tomorrow and will be able to stock up on my needs. I am also buying a mini fridge for the garage so I can have some prepared chicken and other choices for my meals without having to fight for room in the kitchen with the Mrs and mother-in-law trying to cook at the same time so I can at least eat one meal with the family. I am down from 350 lbs at least that is the last official weigh in to 265 as of yesterday. It has been three years of yoyo'ing but the last 8 months have been a pretty steady decline in weight. of course I have those up weeks but I keep it in perspective these days. I am going to add a photo the first is me around 300-290 did not know it was taken was backing up photos on the computer and saw it.. it was labeled fattie.. really hurt to read that and I was about to eat away the pain.. considering the "fattie" pic was not even my highest weight. But something clicked in me and instead I went and took the second photo. I see some changes not what I want but I am going to use these as motivation instead of a defeating blow.
    I know it's kind of sad, but if you peel the skin off fried chicken it becomes low calorie normal chicken.

    It sounds like a little meal prepping could help you. I prep lean meat (roast chicken and a pork tenderloin), mixed stir fried or roasted vegetables, and cooked quinoa, so I can quickly make these things into meals. Another good prep is either Zoodles or spaghetti squash to substitute for pasta. Also don't forget about dried beans, they can be a lifesaver in those last days before a paycheck.

    Congratulations on your weight loss! There will come a day when you're glad you have that fat picture so everyone can see how much difference you have made. I successfully managed to dodge photos for fifteen years, so I don't have a "before" picture.
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