CoWorkers Not Supportive & Give Negativity

2

Replies

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,689 Member
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    Hi everyone,
    I've been losing weight so far but I'm just frustrated because the people I'm around most (coworkers) are either non supportive or are very negative regarding my weight loss. Any advice on how to deal with that? Thanks

    How do they even know about it?
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,689 Member
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.

    Just tell them you prefer whatever you're eating.
  • Bealey2011
    Bealey2011 Posts: 29 Member
    I don't know about the other replies, but I work in an office and I am really close to the people on my pod (Generally spend more time with them than I do my actual friends and family...) they are like my friends, so when I'm trying to lose weight I tell them, just like they share things about there lives with me....as for the negativity I would put that more down to them projecting their own frustrations/resentment on to you, sucky I know but that's Humans for you :/
  • AlexandraWk89
    AlexandraWk89 Posts: 9 Member
    Well my coworkers noticed that I stopped eating sandwiches for lunch and that I keep saying "no, thank you" to all the snack offers, so they've figured it out themselves and they actually apologise for offering me biscuits lol. But I have a lovely bunch of people there.
    But the fact is I wouldn't even share the fact I'm on a diet if they haven't noticed themselves and I definitely don't expect support, because... Well.. we just work together.
    Plus even if I met any negativity I'd ignore it. Not their buisness
  • annie22uk
    annie22uk Posts: 8 Member
    Just smile and say you're happy with whatever meal you have chosen........they probably aren't meaning to be negative. Even if they are......still smile.....it will make you feel better :)
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    I'm kind of curious what you're eating for lunch that's getting everyone all riled up.....
  • jondspen
    jondspen Posts: 253 Member
    Ever heard the saying, "Misery loves company"? I would guess that part of it is they don't have a good self image, so don't want you to have one either. Also, if you're bringing in tuna to smell up the place...that might be another reason! :) Finally, not sure the tone it is being spoken in; perhaps they are just kidding around? I mean, if it's your lunch you brough in...kinda out of line. If you are all going out to eat somewhere like TGIF or Applebee's, they order the lunch burger, you get a chicken salad, and they ask why don't you get a burger, you could always ask them back half kidding/half serious, "OK...you going to buy my lunch?" Not total *kitten* mode...just enough to let them know that it's your money, your body, and your choice, and that they should STFU. :smiley:
  • Dustin6047
    Dustin6047 Posts: 10 Member
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.

    People suck and they don't want you to succeed. Don't allow them that victory, use their dissatisfaction as your motivator to keep going.
  • sanjay5674
    sanjay5674 Posts: 17 Member
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.

    It would be nice if people didn't make these comments, but they're everywhere. Just tell them you don't want a burger (or whatever) right now. If they persist, put on some headphones and turn on the music. They may never get the message, but at least you won't have to listen to them.
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  • ugofatcat
    ugofatcat Posts: 385 Member
    "Please don't comment on my food, it is really annoying."
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    lizalmp1234 wrote: »
    I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.

    Stop speaking to people about it?
    Smile and say "because I like what I am eating and don't want a burger today" or "we all get to choose our own lunches fortunately."
    I assume you like what you are eating so act like it and change the conversational subject.
    If someone keeps bringing it up tell them flat out to stop bugging you about food.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    Depending on how they say it whether it's done innocently or if it's done with jealousy I have two different responses. If it's done innocently just say I don't want to if it's done with jealousy or really negatively my answer and I know you can't say it as f*** them.

    What you have to realize is by you changing and succeeding you've taken away the negative excuses from other people. My co-workers have been supportive of my journey but I think it's normal for people to say you look skinny cuz I'm guessing they never saw you another way and Society has a weird view of what's considered normal now.

    You have to remember you're doing this for yourself and as other people said even people you know who care about you and respect you don't fully understand the decision you've made.
    Love them ignore them humor them the choice is yours but remember you're doing this for yourself and no one else
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    I never understand these threads. Maybe I'm just lucky but in all my years I've never worked in a workplace where people will comment on my food, save for a "looks good!"
    Like... "why don't you have a burger instead" is just not something I've ever heard uttered in the lunch room. I mean, maybe if you were burger gal and had eaten a burger for lunch every day since you started and made a big deal of eating burgers and then one day didn't have a burger I could see someone commenting but... that's just weird.

    Same here, and really if someone said "why don't you have a burger" (which would be bizarre, because I can't even think of anyone having burgers at the office), I'd say "don't want one." Same as if someone said "why don't you have chicken and broccoli" if I weren't in the mood for that.

    I have had people say "looks good" or "what is that you are having" (curiosity or because they think it looks good) or "where'd you get that?" (I got that about Snapkitchen when it first opened here, and also the new poke place when it was new). I usually eat pretty healthy and no one seems to comment more negatively about healthy meals (or really much at all). But then I don't really make a thing about what I eat and haven't gone on to anyone about my diet efforts unless they noticed my weight loss and specifically asked (and then they are usually seeking ideas).
  • katsheare
    katsheare Posts: 1,025 Member
    Rebirth08 wrote: »
    I think it's easy for some people on here to tell you to ignore them, but based on what type of environment you work in, that may be easier said than done. Some year ago, I worked in an office setting that pretty much had 10-12 people in one OPEN area, working at our little (connected) desks all day. It wasn't a call center, we opened accounts and talked on the phone, sometimes. So basically, the human desire to connect and interact happened. What comes with that is divulging more information that people who don't usually matter need to know. And like you said, OP, they begin to notice, and depending on how they feel about you, they will try to get you. Either ignore them (if you can) or simply tell them "If you don't have anything kind to say to me, then please don't talk to me. I'm working on changing my life and the negativity is not cool." Sometimes, you have to squash that negative energy because ignoring can make things worse.

    One other possibility is that they're enjoying winding you up. I'm hoping that, given that it's a couple days since the original post, things have blown over. But I know some workplaces I've been in, people would probably say something like that just to tease, as cwolfman said happens in his workplace.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    If someone said, "Why don't you have a burger," I'd probably flip my hair and say, "Because I'm hoping to audition for the role of Hot Office Chick." But maybe I'm used to offices which are a lot more relaxed than yours.

    Anyway, I think others are being overly dismissive of your concerns. It can be exhausting to feel as if others are hostile towards you, even if they have no real power over you. There's no need to say anything at all, just smile and go back to your meal.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    Why do you expect support from your co-workers? Why are they even involved in your weight loss? I would never involve my coworkers in my weight loss efforts. Stop engaging with them about it, stop talking to them about it, stop trying to involve them. Leave the weight loss talk and such for places like MFP and keep it out of the workplace unless you work at somewhere that is weight loss related.

    This^

    Some co-workers aren't going to be supportive because deep down they know that they need to lose weight themselves. Some co-workers aren't going to be supportive because they know that the only way to lose weight is: "insert diet nonsense here."

    I've had one co-worker ask specific questions (because she was struggling).....I pointed her to MFP.
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