Clutter and messiness - is it related to overeating?
bebeisfit
Posts: 951 Member
I've never been the best at housekeeping, but in the past (I'm 55 yrs old), I did maintain an ok household, not the best, but I cleaned up every week and did my dishes each night.
Over the past few years, yes years, I've noticed that I'm a messy person. I haven't washed the floors in a few months, but I've swept. My bathroom is a mess and I am totally cluttered, I take things out, but don't return them right away. Mail goes unopened - nearly all my bills are paid automatically, but I've missed out on a few things. I clean the cat box daily and I toss out my garbage every day, so I don't have rotting food sitting around, but it can take a couple of days to do the dishes.
I have a hard time throwing things away. We cleaned out my mom's house before selling and I came home with bags of memorabilia - old report cards, class photos and some trinkets. They sit in bags, littered throughout the house.
I've stopped inviting people over because of the mess. And next week I have a friend coming over to look in on my kitty - and I am mortified. Of course, I won't lose friends because of it, but I'd like to be proud of my home.
How do I even get started?? And in your opinion, does this have an adverse affect on weightloss.
I had maintained an 80lb weight loss for a few years, and since turning 50, I let 20lbs creep back on. I lost most of it in 2016, but gained 15 back in 2017.
Perhaps I know the answer..but thought I'd reach out and see if someone has some tips. Thanks
Over the past few years, yes years, I've noticed that I'm a messy person. I haven't washed the floors in a few months, but I've swept. My bathroom is a mess and I am totally cluttered, I take things out, but don't return them right away. Mail goes unopened - nearly all my bills are paid automatically, but I've missed out on a few things. I clean the cat box daily and I toss out my garbage every day, so I don't have rotting food sitting around, but it can take a couple of days to do the dishes.
I have a hard time throwing things away. We cleaned out my mom's house before selling and I came home with bags of memorabilia - old report cards, class photos and some trinkets. They sit in bags, littered throughout the house.
I've stopped inviting people over because of the mess. And next week I have a friend coming over to look in on my kitty - and I am mortified. Of course, I won't lose friends because of it, but I'd like to be proud of my home.
How do I even get started?? And in your opinion, does this have an adverse affect on weightloss.
I had maintained an 80lb weight loss for a few years, and since turning 50, I let 20lbs creep back on. I lost most of it in 2016, but gained 15 back in 2017.
Perhaps I know the answer..but thought I'd reach out and see if someone has some tips. Thanks
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Replies
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unexpected answer....yeah it effected my weightloss lol.
To me if I have a sink full of dishes im more likely to turn to worse foods (frozen lasagna vs cooking myself up a solid fresh meal) I love having all new fresh dishes to use -I go through alot even in basic meals for weighing and cooking and flipping and cutting etc
I sleep beter when i curl up in bed look around and everything is clean. Then i wake happier and am more likely to get up happy and get moving when i have all clean surfaces. Make a morning smoothie or something have all clean dishes rinse them up as i go and feel very productive and happy. Such simple things make or break my moods lol.
Not to mention, If im tripping and breaking my foot on old piles of laundry, m not likely to be getting much exercise in hah.
Overall its 1 less thing to worry about, The worry of cleaning or not showing your house or going home to a huge mess is 10000x worse thn taking the time to clean it and maintain it even at a slightly cleaner level. Baby steps. With all your energy spent worrying about cleaning your place or avoiding people coming over, Where will you get the energy to care for yourself/exercise/cook etc
Took some time, I have bad hoarder tendencies but im glad I have finally gotten my place to a base level clean, I feel beter about my life overall this way. Definatly helped my mindset of self love13 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »I think most of the time it has less to do with overeating and more with an individual's mindset; whether it be caused by depression, apathy, weight gain, whatever.
But perhaps in your case that's what started it. Has your weight gain really affected how you feel about yourself and your take on life?
Hmmm, I battled depression for a while - took meds, then things turned around. Right now, no, I'm not happy with the way I look, I don't think my depression is as severe as it was back then. 7 years ago, I had a new friend say I had 'swaggar'. That when she met me, I oozed confidence. I was successful at work, ran races and I thought I looked good. Now, I can't say the same. Depression is definitely part of the equation. But I feel like it's a vicious cycle... I don't exercise, so I overeat, then I sit on the couch, I look around at the tasks and feel it's too much to overcome. I'd like to sell my condo next year - and I'm a real estate agent, so I know I have a lot of work to do.1 -
Start with 30 minutes a night. That is what my husband and I have started in the last 2 months. It makes it not as overwhelming to go through and get rid of stuff if you one do it in short periods of time. Also that mail. I am so bad about setting it down. Now I take it straight to the recyclable bin and go through it. We both had a lot of items we had from our childhood. We each got a bin to store the items we wanted the most in them and the rest we got rid of. We have a bin of old toys and baby clothes for our kids one day. The extra 30 minutes of work also helped raise my steps from 7,000 to 10,500 per day. Start small!16
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I think there is some truth to the idea that your surroundings mirrors you insides.
Look into the books by author Geneen Roth. Something that I've also found really helpful in sorting and organizing is a website called UnF***YourHabitat. If you search for UFYH, it should come up. There is foul language throughout, but it gives some no nonsense approaches to cleaning (including checklists) for those who are dealing with depression. I've used it a few times, and always start feeling more accomplished and less overwhelmed by clutter.
Is there stuff you can get rid of? Watch some videos on YouTube on minimalism. I'm not suggesting going to the same extreme, but to just think about what you have in your surroundings which is useful and what adds to the sense of being overwhelmed. I have been selling and donating stuff and feeling a great sense of relief as it leaves. It's amazing how much you can live without. Unless it is a really sentimental item, I have been letting it go. The memories are not in the items themselves.
I hope some of this is helpful. It's not just you, and you can change it.2 -
If I don't keep up with the dishes, I won't have the tools I need to cook healthy, if my fridge is a mess, I won't find the fruit fruits/veggies before they spoil, if I don't keep up with the laundry, I'll run out of clean workout clothes. Not sure there is a direct correlation, but I can't imagine following my lifestyle if my kitchen & laundry at the very least weren't in order....3
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I've found that keeping my home in order has been part and parcel with losing weight and getting more exercise, which also goes along with overall improvements in my mental health. I realized that I'd been sitting in place for almost two years trying to get my career off of the ground, and a lot of other things in my life had suffered. I decided to take control of the things within my power, with my health and my environment being the big ones. I think that progress in each area has helped the other, although I can't give enough credit to starting on an anti-anxiety medication in the spring. Obviously different people have different priorities, but I know that I consider my home an extension of myself, so feeling good about one helps me feel good about the other, and vice versa.3
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I get anxious and stressed once my house passes a certain level of mess. I can't even work when it gets like that, so I can imagine it would affect eating as well.
Just pick the smallest room and start there. Or the cleanest one. That's what I do. It usually jump starts my cleaning mode once something is sparkling again. (I usually pick the bathroom as it's a tiny 3 piece and doesn't require much work) Just focus on 1 thing at a time, and just keep going. Put something away. Then something else. Keep at it and suddenly it will be done. Fast upbeat music helps too.4 -
I treat cleaning up/household chores as a "bonus" workout for the day. I put my workout tunes on and try to clean at a faster pace and try to get my heart racing we elevated a bit. Voila - help with fitness and the cleaning g is done quicker, plus the bonus mental health. ( I hate clutter and seemed to be the only one in the house that cares, so I always have plenty of "bonus workouts.")2
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For some people, there can definitely be a connection. Someone who is prone to obsessive behavior can see this arise in many different aspects of their lives. Hording and the inability to throw things away can be obsessive behavior. Overeating can be obsessive behavior. I'm not about to diagnose you with OCD, but if it is having a negative impact on your life (like not being able to have friends over), then it may be worth talking to your doctor or a mental health professional. Obsessive behavior can get worse over time if it's not treated.2
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While not directly connected you already see a messy environment can certainly hinder weight loss.
For one it takes a certain level of calm and clarity to focus on changing behaviors. A filthy chaotic environment does not support that.
Also it gets in the way of making healthy meals. If there is no counterspace or clean utensils or whatever there is a tendency to rely on frozen dinners ot takeout.
Beyond depression filth clutter and so on hinder weight loss.
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Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.
I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.
But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.
As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.
Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.4 -
Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.
I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.
But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.
As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.
Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.
Just focus on not letting it get worse. Aslong as it doesnt get worse every tiny thing you do like do your dish after dinner etc...All adds up. It will get clean if it doesnt get worse
Not letting it get worse is the easiest commitment 1 -
Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.
I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.
But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.
As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.
Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.
I used to think I thrive on chaos too. Turns out that as I calm my environment, my mind would calm as well. It was a really different feeling, and took some getting used to. I find, for me, it's like a pendulum swing. I'm just trying to keep it more on the less chaotic side. The cost can be pretty high. I'm also realizing how much time and money I've wasted on completely useless stuff. So getting rid of that stuff has helped to lighten the frustration I felt when I looked at it.1 -
I am also one who uses housecleaning/organizing as exercise. Loud music, dancing along. I even plan "projects" - make a list of smaller individual tasks (like mopping kitchen floor, cleaning toilet bowl, scrubbing shower, organizing a particular closet, etc) and write next to them about how much time you think it would take you. Each day, look at how much time you have to "exercise" that day and pick a project that matches. You can always do more if you want
Also, I have found that trying to "clean" in the middle of a mess is daunting and discouraging. If you are surrounded by the mess, it is hard to spend a few minutes and even look like you made an impact. So my first suggestion is to get some boxes or buckets and sweep through the room tossing everything "clutter" off floors , tables, couches, etc into those boxes. Put them in an unused part of another room if possible, or stack them neatly in a corner if not. Then the room is "uncluttered" - you can see the furniture! and the floor. NOW work on cleaning it. When it is clean, then start bringing out one box at a time (never more than one) and going through it, putting things where they go or giving them away. My house always has a "giveaway" pile in one corner. Everyone who walks in the house is told to go look through it and take anything they want. Eventually I take stuff no one wants to goodwill. We also have boxes with peoples names on them if we want to give things to them (i.e. i have a box for my brother - when I find things I think he will like or are from our childhood, I put in his box until he comes over).5 -
Your mindset is definitely affected by clutter. For me, it can add to a depressed state of mind and a feeling of being overwhelmed and helpless. One thing that can help is to set small goals for dealing with the clutter and allowing yourself to "release" things that you only have because you feel "obligated" to keep them. The bags of school memorabilia, etc. would be a great place to start. Set a goal of going through one bag per week with the goal of getting rid of only the most irreplaceable and important items. Once you go through those bags, then start on another area of your home, like a closet or dresser. Set some ground rules like for instance, if you haven't used or worn something in the past year, either donate it, sell it or trash it. Each time you clean out a corner or cupboard in your house, reward yourself with something fun, like a movie night with friends, a trip to the spa, etc.0
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I wouldn't say untidyness is linked to overeating per se, as I think it's an outwards sign of many issues. My father is overweight and struggles with food, and he's very messy. My mother has OCD and anxiety, and she's messy. I have depression and EDNOS, and I'm messy. I just think that when you're dealing with other issues, especially issues that seem more important, it can be overwhelming to do chores on top of that. I have to tell myself to do little things everyday to not let the mess build - I love having a cup of tea and a biscuit in the evenings, but will not allow myself to have it until the dishes are done, and as soon as I take clothes off they're hung up or put in the hamper straight away, otherwise they soon build up on the floor.
And also, I've been underweight and a healthy weight, and no matter my weight I'm messy, so I don't think it's exclusively overeating2 -
I think this is all very individual, and if - as it sounds - you feel negative and out of control about the untidiness, then yes, you need to do something differently, and there were some good, practical ideas offered.
That said, I feel compelled to offer a minority report. The moralistic, "uncluttered surroundings make us feel good", "clutter is a sign of mental disorder" thinking that's so common now just makes me eye-roll.
The idea that our homes all need to be carefully-curated collections of lovely and loved items (gleaming and tastefully arranged), or there's something wrong with us, strikes me as very odd. If that makes a particular person(s) happy, swell. But don't try to make it an obligatory universal.
To me, a house is a big tool for living, and we each choose how we want to live. Spare surroundings make me twitchy. My house is basically an untidy craft studio. That works for me. Kondo-think doesn't.
I'm sane, responsible, rational, calm, happy . . . and very untidy.
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If my kitchen is messy (and it usually is, I'm working on it. It's better than it was, but there's room for improvement) I find it hard to cook healthy meals sure to dishes and pans being dirty.
This leads me to overcooking (and then overeating) portions of pasta. This is bad for my blood sugar and my waistline, because I'm not satisfied with small portions of pasta.
Or I get frustrated and go out for dinner, if we have the money. That's often Subway, but my favorite sandwich there is the chicken bacon ranch melt, and a footlong is over a thousand calories. I try to get the veggie or a plain chicken breast, but I can't always not give in to temptation.
So for me, yes. There is a factor in my overeating. The rest of the house? No. I'm not naturally a neat person and there's no one to impress. That's not to say the place is filthy, but it's cluttered and messy.1 -
For me, a messy house/space usually means i'm incredibly busy - when I have a lot of work (2 jobs) and university study, there isn't much time left for housework. If I didn't have meals frozen ready to reheat, I probably would turn to easier options - which usually is overeating (chips, takeaway etc.)0
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Ask your friends to help you. You say you’re mortified, but true friends won’t judge you for a messy house. Many hands make light work.3
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Self care/lack thereof affects every aspect of your life. If you've stopped showing yourself care, get started again. One positive change will make others feel more possible.
That being said my mom is a bit of a hoarder but always cooks well. It's not related, but in your mind they're related and it's meaningful to pay attention to that.3 -
My spouse passed away last year and its been hard for me but little by little I an getting there. I do most of my cooking on the kitchen island. Putting things away keeping it clear makes it more inviting to prepare meals within my plan. I bought a little basket/caddy to put things in like spices I use regularly but don't put away.9
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Organization for many of us is a learned habit; for others part of their wiring. To me, as long as you don't have vermin hoovering about, you are good. I do think though that messiness in one area of your life (your purse for example) likely means you are messy in other areas (house, car, bills, physical maintenance (unkept shoes, manicures, ungroomed et al.). You can always tell an organized person by their grooming habits. They take enough time to plan ahead, prepare and invest in quality items to secure same. Sound similar to food choices?
That said I do think it's trending to your weight challenge. Once you get organized, you will plan better, budget better (both time and funds). You cannot organize clutter.
There is another great website called The Flylady. Use to be free to join not sure now. Fifteen minute Baby Steps a day along with preparing ahead of the day, helps one cull the clutter. If it's hard to let go of something, but you are not using it, a suggestion is to take a picture of it. First thing she suggests you do is clean your sink. Something about a clean kitchen sink spreads outward. If nothing else, keep your sink clean, like shining sparkling clean before you go to bed.
One thing I do that helps me immensely is that I wear the same color (black) everyday. No thinking what should I wear, makes me look slim, not too much laundry cause I wear 5 shirts of the same color. Boring perhaps but it was good enough for Steve Jobs. I do accentuate with good simple makeup, easy care hair and a pop of color on my lips. I feel put together enough to care what I put in my mouth. Also, if it doesn't taste good I spit it out....not using my calories on crappy food.
Good enough is good enough. No one likes a perfectionist except bean counters, bodies under a scalpel and passengers on an airplane.
All the best....keep us posted.
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I try to keep things easy as well. I just wear blue jeans. All my tops go with them and are easy care. I have about ten of them all piled up in a drawer and just pick up a new one each morning. When I get to the bottom of the pile I do the washing. I don't have to think about it, it doesn't take up much space and I don't have to think about the washing- I just do it.mysteps2beauty wrote: »
One thing I do that helps me immensely is that I wear the same color (black) everyday. No thinking what should I wear, makes me look slim, not too much laundry cause I wear 5 shirts of the same color. Boring perhaps but it was good enough for Steve Jobs. I do accentuate with good simple makeup, easy care hair and a pop of color on my lips. I feel put together enough to care what I put in my mouth. Also, if it doesn't taste good I spit it out....not using my calories on crappy food.
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mysteps2beauty wrote: »First thing she suggests you do is clean your sink. Something about a clean kitchen sink spreads outward. If nothing else, keep your sink clean, like shining sparkling clean before you go to bed.
Good enough is good enough. No one likes a perfectionist except bean counters, bodies under a scalpel and passengers on an airplane.
All the best....keep us posted.
Interesting, yesterday, after I wrote the post and read a few replies, I tackled a few things, one being the dishes (there weren't a lot), but I got them washed AND put away. Then I scrubbed the sink - this morning, I woke to a clean sink and no dishes on the counter. And yes I did feel better. Some days I have more time than others, but I certainly will give a few of these tips a go. I'm cooking this morning, so before I leave the house, I am committing to finishing up and putting things away. One other thing I'll do this morning is to wash the windows of my back door. They are nearly all glass and it's something I used do quite often.. but I've neglected it lately. I think seeing the clear glass will give me hope. It's a 10 min job that has a big impact. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and see those doors all the time.. I'm sure there's some deep meaning in why I haven't taken the time to clean them.
As to having my friends help - well, I did do that with my closet earlier this year and I donated a few bags of things that either didn't fit or I didn't like. I'm not going to ask my friends to do anything as far as cleaning - it's my mess and I need to deal with it.
I love to cook and having meals prepared never really got in the way of dishes. I usually cook enough for several meals and if I need something that's dirty, I wash it. But starting the job with a clear sink is a big plus.
Thanks again everyone! One other thing I'm going to work on is to reduce my screen time. I get lost in these forums along with facebook and watching tv. Time to reduce that habit.. but it's a tough one.
Ok, let's get to work!
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It is perhaps a reflection of your weight gain. You said you maintained for a few years after losing 80lbs and then you no longer tried like you are not trying to keep your house clean. Where do you start? Whit your house dedicate a day to one room to get deep cleaned. Any room you choose then you have momentum going. To lose the weight well you have joined MFP you have started.1
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I have used Flylady to organize and clean my clutter. It's a great site. In addition to cleaning the sink, one recommendation was to grab a garbage bag and throw away 10 things a day. After a while, I found myself having to search for 10 things - I was looking in drawers, etc.3
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Flylady has a good & useful system.
That whole sink thing, though - which, at least when I read it a while back, said not just "clean the sink" but also polish and dry it? That strikes me as potentially obsessive. It's a sink: They're wet. A wet sink is not a housekeeping fail. There are a few other points that strike me that way, too.
If someone has any obsessive or compulsive inclinations, Flylady could fertilize that field, much as food weighing can become mentally unhealthy for some people . . . and I say that as a committed food-scale user (at home only
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Oh goodness, messiness and eating too much was never a problem for me. I am a very messy person and always have been. But I was only overweight for about 6-8 of my 55 years. I am now back at a healthy weight but still as messy as ever.1
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I've never been the best at housekeeping, but in the past (I'm 55 yrs old), I did maintain an ok household, not the best, but I cleaned up every week and did my dishes each night.
Over the past few years, yes years, I've noticed that I'm a messy person. I haven't washed the floors in a few months, but I've swept. My bathroom is a mess and I am totally cluttered, I take things out, but don't return them right away. Mail goes unopened - nearly all my bills are paid automatically, but I've missed out on a few things. I clean the cat box daily and I toss out my garbage every day, so I don't have rotting food sitting around, but it can take a couple of days to do the dishes.
I have a hard time throwing things away. We cleaned out my mom's house before selling and I came home with bags of memorabilia - old report cards, class photos and some trinkets. They sit in bags, littered throughout the house.
I've stopped inviting people over because of the mess. And next week I have a friend coming over to look in on my kitty - and I am mortified. Of course, I won't lose friends because of it, but I'd like to be proud of my home.
How do I even get started?? And in your opinion, does this have an adverse affect on weightloss.
I had maintained an 80lb weight loss for a few years, and since turning 50, I let 20lbs creep back on. I lost most of it in 2016, but gained 15 back in 2017.
Perhaps I know the answer..but thought I'd reach out and see if someone has some tips. Thanks
All I can say is my own experience. Overeating and lack of housekeeping are both signs that depression is returning. There is a difference between clutter and dirt and I frequently have a bit of clutter around (mail I still need to look through on the table, filing I have to do on the desk, etc) but if I don't actually clean in a reasonable manner (wash dishes, do laundry, vacuum every week or so) I know I need to watch it.
I have my own depression scale:- I am floating along on an even keel
- My eating habits go to pot
- My housekeeping goes to pot
- My personal care (showering etc) is less frequent
- I spend all day in bed with food and books
For your current situation, I would make sure that the home is clean and not worry about the clutter. Maybe make a joke to your cat sitter like "Hey, while you are here how about organizing this stuff?". I have found that some kind of deflecting joke makes a big difference. They will know it is unusual for you to have this much stuff around.
As far as weight loss, again this is me, I have found that a disorganized home creates disorganization in my brain which causes me to not eat as I should.0
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