I feel like a failure

champion818 · October 2017

Wow , where do I start ... Well when I first started this my fitness pal thing I was 240 then I lost weight and was 219 and now I’m up to 290 ..... 1 year later . It’s like I can’t keep to one thing . I always find myself eating the wrong things .... I work graveyard shifts now so I haven’t had the time for working out . Being close to almost 300 pounds terrifies me honestly I’m only 19 years old that’s waaaaay to excessive ... I couldn’t live with myself like that . I feel my skin tearing everyday literally burning I see my skin becoming full of stretch mark it’s crazy I’m literally gaining weight so fast my skins tearing apart I can’t deal with this ... how should I go about loosing this weight the right way now . I’m turning 20 soon ... I don’t want to be 300 ... my goal is 180 it is my healthy ideal weight that my doctor and I want to be at . Any help !?

kommodevaran · October 2017

I think it would be beneficial for you to separate things into what they are and what you think they are, and what you can do and what you can't do anything about. Getting some emotional distance and just commit, can be empowering.

Losing weight happens when you consistently take in fewer calories than you burn. MFP is just a tool, but it works if you apply it correctly. It stops working if you stop using it or use it incorrectly.

No foods are good or bad. All foods can be eaten in moderation, and no foods are so healthy that you should eat them in unlimited amounts. A healthy diet is varied and balanced. A healthy realtionship with food is taking care of getting in proper nutrition and at the same time eating food you like, and allowing yourself pleasure from eating.

You don't have to work out to lose weight. But exercise is good for you. Work hours shouldn't keep you from exercising if you want to exercise, but it can be a handy excuse if you don't.

aylajane · October 2017

champion818 wrote: »

Wow , where do I start ... Well when I first started this my fitness pal thing I was 240 then I lost weight and was 219 and now I’m up to 290 ..... 1 year later . It’s like I can’t keep to one thing . I always find myself eating the wrong things .... I work graveyard shifts now so I haven’t had the time for working out . Being close to almost 300 pounds terrifies me honestly I’m only 19 years old that’s waaaaay to excessive ... I couldn’t live with myself like that . I feel my skin tearing everyday literally burning I see my skin becoming full of stretch mark it’s crazy I’m literally gaining weight so fast my skins tearing apart I can’t deal with this ... how should I go about loosing this weight the right way now . I’m turning 20 soon ... I don’t want to be 300 ... my goal is 180 it is my healthy ideal weight that my doctor and I want to be at . Any help !?

I dont understand this. Whether you work 8am-5pm or 8pm-5am is the same number of hours. WOrking the night shift does not change the number of hours a day you have available to work out...

So, step #1 - drop that as an excuse. Then figure out how to incorporate 5 minutes of walking mroe than you do now into your day. After a week, add another 5 minutes. Baby steps... it takes about 3 weeks of doing something for it to be a habit. Commit to 4 weeks of each baby step, then reassess.

champion818 · October 2017

I am also a full time college student so it’s like I only have 7 hours left in the day after school and that’s to sleep time is really crunched with me . I’m not making excuses .... I see what u are saying though

CTcutie · October 2017

You CAN do this!!! It’s NOT hopeless:-)
And you’re right- you need to take action now bc it becomes even harder on your body as you age. Even losing 10% of your body weight will make you feel SO much better.
You need to get a digital food scale, if you don’t have one from before. You need to eat the calories the app allows you to- do NOT think you need to eat less! You will lose more quickly the first few weeks/months, but this is for the long haul! Every day you need to put effort in to logging everything you eat, planning your meals.
Losing weight & getting back in control of your eating will be the easiest AND the hardest thing you do!

Hamsibian · October 2017

Meal prep, invest in a slow cooker if you don't already have one. Make some time between classes or breaks for movement/body weight exercises.

Unknown · October 2017

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goldthistime · October 2017

I agree with you that you have challenges. Graveyard shifts make it tough to get enough sleep, and sleep deprivation makes it tough to stick to a diet. I think it's a bit callous to just call your challenges "excuses". BUT, where there's a will, there's a way to lose weight. My advice would be to make the weight loss process as unintimidating and painless as possible. Start with logging. Start trying to steer your diet towards satiating foods like proteins, and fibre filled fruits and veggies. Don't undereat. You need proper fuel to get through your day at school and at your job. Yes you have challenges, but you can still do this.

ItsyBitsy246 · October 2017

Take a look at what you are eating now. Obviously it is too much or you wouldn't be gaining weight, right? A food scale is very helpful, but you can get a jump on losing weight by just eating smaller portions of what your currently eat, and cutting some things out all together.

ruqayyahsmum · October 2017

Exercise doesnt matter for weight loss, a calorie deficit does
Input your stats here, get your daily calorie goal.
Weigh foods and log accuratley to meet that goal

Exercise also doesnt have to be in the gym
Any 5 minute breaks you can walk/jog in over the day?

Squats while brushing your teeth? Bodyweight exercises before you jump in to bed?

I wasted my 20's yoyoing and hating life
I reached 30 and could only just walk the length of the room with a stick

Im down 150lb now and day to day life is much easier

estherdragonbat · October 2017

You can do this. My starting weight was 254, but I'm shorter than you and for me, 140 is the top of the 'normal' BMI range. (I'm shooting for 130). I've dropped over 86 lbs in just under a year. What's worked for me has been

1) Medical scare. I got an obesity-related complication (chronic venous insufficiency, i.e. the veins in my legs collapsed from having to carry an extra half-person or so. Also led to my developing lymphedema.) Thankfully, both conditions are currently being managed, but I don't want to back to daily nursing visits to change a dressing on a weeping wound on my leg until it finally healed. Or having to rest the leg and be pushed in a wheelchair.

2) Working in treats and indulgences in an overall healthy diet. I limit homemade desserts to 200 calories/serving and don't buy many bakery treats, but I'll have a small portion of a richer dessert when eating outside the house. I'm usually fine at the dinner table, but leftover rich foods in the fridge aren't good for me to have around.

3) Over time, working in, and increasing exercise. I don't have a gym membership. I've got dumbbells in my basement, a book on strength training and a fitness glider. Not to mention the great outdoors and a love of long walks. I'm not especially well-coordinated. I stink at sports and hate the sort of aerobics classes that were in vogue in the 80s. And until coming to MFP, I'd never even heard of HIIT, crossfit, or tabata. I've heard of them now and respect those who do them, but—and this is despite the conventional 'wisdom' that "if you aren't getting hot and sweaty and feel like you're gonna die, you aren't burning enough calories"—I've been dropping weight with long walks at around 3.0/3.25 mph (2.5 mph when I started), plus the glider if the weather's lousy. I'm working my way up to it, but I'm not lifting anything over 24lbs (2 12-lb dumbbells) at the moment. I'm thinking about getting into lifting heavy, but at home I don't have anyone who can spot me and I don't currently belong to a gym. And I can't lift 40lbs comfortably yet, but that's coming. Hopefully. And I'm still seeing muscles poking through the fat. (It seems I have deltoids. Who knew?)

In my case, there is absolutely nothing 'fancy' or 'extreme' about the way the weight has come off. It's literally been 'eating less and moving more'. I haven't eliminated food groups or macros. I haven't done high intensity exercise (I'm not claiming it isn't good for you, but I'm doing what I enjoy and it's working, so for now lighter exercise is good for me). Nothing magical. But it's working.

Good luck!

MissyCHF · October 2017

YepItsKriss wrote: »

When you drop the hopeless mindset, it will all fall into place.
We all have 24 hours in a day, we wake up earlier, stay up later, we do what we need to do to incorporate activity into our days. However activity is not needed to lose weight, if you work on your eating then that is really all you need right now.

Do not do what i did and waste your 20's being someone you don't want to be.
It took me 2 years to lose my weight to get from 300 to 135 and i didn't do that until almost hitting my 30's
that is 10 years too long spent wasted regretting every moment i wasn't getting the weight off when i could of used that same amount of time, taking it off and being the person i kept wishing i could be.

Count your calories. Thats all you really need to do right now.
Love yourself enough to say no to going over those calories.

I am quoting YepItsKriss;c-40612684 because she took the word right out of my mouth but put it so much better than this oldie could.
I can remember being nineteen, life is before you with great promise, grab it with both hands!

ladyhusker39 · October 2017

You've gotten some great advice here about diet and exercise so I won't repeat what's already been said very well. However, I think that these may just be symptoms of an underlying problem. You've very young to be so overweight which strongly suggests there's some kind of emotional issue going on that you've been using food to "medicate" so to speak. I could be totally off base. Maybe you just really love food a lot and can't stop eating it. But in either case, go see a campus counselor and dig into what's prompting your overeating. Pretty much every college campus has qualified professionals available you can work with and it's usually free to students.

My heart goes out to you. I sincerely hope you get the help you need. Please keep us posted for anything we can do to help you along the way.

RachelElser · October 2017

Any 24 hour gyms where you live? Or even just a staircase at your job? You can always try to work in some workouts after work by going up and down the stair case several times.

Make sure you are taking your food so you aren't tempted by the vending machine.

Also, since you Dr. is on board maybe get a recommendation to a nutritionist to help you.

aylajane · October 2017

champion818 wrote: »

I am also a full time college student so it’s like I only have 7 hours left in the day after school and that’s to sleep time is really crunched with me . I’m not making excuses .... I see what u are saying though

Oh I understand. In college, I worked 3-5 part time jobs at all times. I slept every third day, usually in my car because I was too tired to drive home. I worked tons of night shifts in every nursing home, gas station and fast food place within 60 miles of school. College sucked.

Then I graduated. Got a real job. Had a kid. Know what? Time never increased. There were still never enough hours in the day. All those years I told myself I would work on my weight when I got time - I never got time. Life is always going to be busy.

Everyone here has a story about not having the time - kids, jobs, family issues. Personally, I work 60 hours a week, spend 2 hours per day driving, take care of my mom who had a stroke for several hours a day and most of the weekends, and am working on some severe house projects. Laundry, groceries, bank/post office, etc. No one ever has enough time.

Thats the issue... you let taking care of yourself be a lower priority than other things. So when there is something else that needs done, it always wins. I understand that some things HAVE to be done. Its not like homework is optional, work is optional etc.

So that leaves you with two choices. Put off taking care of yourself until you find that magical "time" that will likely never show up regardless of where you are in life, or.... FIND/MAKE/INVENT time. Work it into the life you have. You see suggestions above about doing squats every time you go to the bathroom, leg stretches while brushing your teeth, park your car slightly farther than you usually do, etc. If fast food is the biggest obstacle - make it work for you! Find other options at the same places you already seem to find time to go to. If you go through taco bell every day and get 2 supreme nachos and a burrito, it takes absolutely NO extra time to order 1 nacho and a burrito without cheese. Those are things you can do. If you drink full sugar soda, start trying to find a diet soda you can get used to. Or water, or water flavoring. Those things do not take time, they do cut calories.

Thats what everyone is trying to say here... I swear the next time someone says to me "You just have to make the time" I want to cram their teeth down their throat - let them live a day in my life and tell me which hour is "frivolous" and I can change? But what they mean is that you have to make your other goals fit into the time and life you already have. Its doable, but you have to put some thought and a little effort. Start with small changes. You can do this.

Nutritionislife · October 2017

How tall are you?

champion818 · October 2017

I am 5’9

Nutritionislife · October 2017

I wish you were 5'1", id be able to give you better advice. The only thing i could say is use smaller plates, bowls and baby spoons at home. Drink all water, nothing else. I dont excercise because i feel i dont have the time either! You can lose weight through mostly portion control. You've lost the weight before. I say don't focus on excercise right now. Only focus on nutrition. Add excercise later. I havent excercised at all and in these 4 months i am down about 28 pounds. Good luck

Muscleflex79 · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

I wish you were 5'1", id be able to give you better advice. The only thing i could say is use smaller plates, bowls and baby spoons at home. Drink all water, nothing else. I dont excercise because i feel i dont have the time either! You can lose weight through mostly portion control. You've lost the weight before. I say don't focus on excercise right now. Only focus on nutrition. Add excercise later. I havent excercised at all and in these 4 months i am down about 28 pounds. Good luck

curious - how would your advice change based on whether she is 5'1" or 5'9" ??

Unknown · October 2017

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Rickster1967 · October 2017

I bought a step up plank. 10 minutes of step ups at good pace really gets your heart rate up.

Surely you can find 10 minutes, literally everyone can. 10 minutes steps + push ups or something, job done.

Then stick to your 10 to 20% calorie deficit for a few months straight and the weight will drop off

I'm in my 50s and have 140 total to lose. Dropping 2.8lbs per week average.

You're not even 20 years old and therefore you have all the natural advantages of youth.

Crack on with it and you'll be in great shape in a matter of weeks.

champion818 · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

I wish you were 5'1", id be able to give you better advice. The only thing i could say is use smaller plates, bowls and baby spoons at home. Drink all water, nothing else. I dont excercise because i feel i dont have the time either! You can lose weight through mostly portion control. You've lost the weight before. I say don't focus on excercise right now. Only focus on nutrition. Add excercise later. I havent excercised at all and in these 4 months i am down about 28 pounds. Good luck

You can still give me advice even though I’m 5’9 it’s all the same thing (almost )

I’m open to any advice !

Nutritionislife · October 2017

I challenge you not to excercise for 3 months but to educate yourself and make changes in your nutrition only. I was talking about caloric intake, types of meals for 1,200 calories and different challenges 5'1" females deal with but of course i still have tips. 1 pound shows much more on us short people quicker. Anyways...
1. Drink water, nothing else..youll save lots of hidden calories just by that.
2. Read about and learn about your body type such as caloric intake, nutrient and vitamin info
3. Set goals, write them down and measure your body
4. Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper
5. Find at least 2 snacks for each taste...like sweet, salty, cold. Have them available always
6. No red meats or cheese, maybe once a month
7. Dont have cheat days, have a cheat meal; but not every day! Maybe 2 times a month.
8. Drink a beer or some liquor if you want it, once in a while.
9. Find new ways to make food you love, create things that fit your taste.
10. Use correct serving sizes and this app...you will fall in love with proper nutrition
By the time you really learn and apply all this, 3-4 months will pass easily. After you've learned what works for you and you have dropped some good amount of weight. Excercise is important, Id say out of 100% 70-80% is nutrition. I would get overwhelmed sometimes with gym and nutrition but learn one thing at a time. Nutrition should be priority, it is most important. Good luck.

Muscleflex79 · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

I challenge you not to excercise for 3 months but to educate yourself and make changes in your nutrition only. I was talking about caloric intake, types of meals for 1,200 calories and different challenges 5'1" females deal with but of course i still have tips. 1 pound shows much more on us short people quicker. Anyways...
1. Drink water, nothing else..youll save lots of hidden calories just by that.
2. Read about and learn about your body type such as caloric intake, nutrient and vitamin info
3. Set goals, write them down and measure your body
4. Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper
5. Find at least 2 snacks for each taste...like sweet, salty, cold. Have them available always
6. No red meats or cheese, maybe once a month
7. Dont have cheat days, have a cheat meal; but not every day! Maybe 2 times a month.
8. Drink a beer or some liquor if you want it, once in a while.
9. Find new ways to make food you love, create things that fit your taste.
10. Use correct serving sizes and this app...you will fall in love with proper nutrition
By the time you really learn and apply all this, 3-4 months will pass easily. After you've learned what works for you and you have dropped some good amount of weight. Excercise is important, Id say out of 100% 70-80% is nutrition. I would get overwhelmed sometimes with gym and nutrition but learn one thing at a time. Nutrition should be priority, it is most important. Good luck.

most of this is unnecessary woo.

OP - eat the calories that MFP tells you to - no need to arbitrarily avoid certain foods or stop exercising for 3 months. eat at a deficit and you will lose weight over time - it's as simple as that.

Nutritionislife · October 2017

Some people need to focus, they are not able to go to the gym and eat correct nutrition since they havent learned about what is healthy for themselves . Plus nutrient levels change so she needs to learn about herself without gym excercise to know what her normal nutrient levels are. Jumping to the gym and going home eating less unhealthy food only works for a while. Once she stops the gym she will continue with less calories but bad nutrition. And all it takes is some extra fries....shes back to her highest weight. Focus on nutrition first then add a gym regimen. Gym is not necessary at first if you are eating correctly.

Muscleflex79 · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

Some people need to focus, they are not able to go to the gym and eat correct nutrition since they havent learned about what is healthy for themselves . Plus nutrient levels change so she needs to learn about herself without gym excercise to know what her normal nutrient levels are. Jumping to the gym and going home eating less unhealthy food only works for a while. Once she stops the gym she will continue with less calories but bad nutrition. And all it takes is some extra fries....shes back to her highest weight. Focus on nutrition first then add a gym regimen. Gym is not necessary at first if you are eating correctly.

I agree that the gym is not necessary for weight loss, but also no need to avoid working out altogether.

I was referring to the rest of your advice being mostly woo and unnecessary.

Nutritionislife · October 2017

Never assume people know all about themselves and nutrition. I had to learn it the hard way...these past 4 months focusing on only nutrition. I use to think i can go excercise at the gym and come home and eat less calories...but i never thought to limit my eating red meat (too much saturated fats), or use small bowls or babyspoons, or to eat breakfast big and dinner small. Too find foods that are sweet and healthy instead of a snickers. Before...I was focusing on running 3 miles which got me tired and i would sometimes come out of the gym hungry, eating anything. For most of us, focusing on nutrition before excercise is key and the advice ive given was very necessary for me. Every single one of those things ive learned in 3 months.

janejellyroll · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

Never assume people know all about themselves and nutrition. I had to learn it the hard way...these past 4 months focusing on only nutrition. I use to think i can go excercise at the gym and come home and eat less calories...but i never thought to stop eating red meat (too much saturated fats), or use small bowls or babyspoons, or to eat breakfast big and dinner small. Too find foods that are sweer instead of a snickers. Before...I was focusing on running 3 miles which got me tired and i would sometimes come out of the gym hungry, eating anything. For most of us, focusing on nutrition before excercise is key and the advice ive given was very necessary for me. Every single one of those things ive learned in 3 months.

You can lose weight while eating red meat. You can lose weight while eating a small breakfast and a big dinner (or even no breakfast). You can lose weight while eating Snickers.

For weight loss, focusing on *calories* is important.

These things you're saying may make it easier for you to lose weight, but they aren't necessary for many others (including me). The only requirement to lose weight is a calorie deficit. At the beginning, especially when people are overwhelmed, focusing on too much stuff besides the deficit can be discouraging. And it's just diverting mental focus from what really matters -- creating a calorie deficit.

Nutritionislife · October 2017

Yes calorie deficit, but at first you need to learn your limits. Im talking about people that are just learning and dont have discipline. There really isnt any bad or good foods but certain foods must be very limited. So, at first you have to train your brain to cut them down and if taking them out for a month or two is necessary, then do it. These things have worked for me and im sure it will work for others that are stubborn like me. Then you can add in moderation. Also for my 5' 1" frame, no excercise...1200 calories is probably one snickers bar. Lol Us short girls need limits.

janejellyroll · October 2017

Nutritionislife wrote: »

Yes calorie deficit, but at first you need to learn your limits. Im talking about people that are just learning and dont have discipline. There really isnt any bad or good foods but certain foods must be very limited. So, at first you have to train your brain to cut them down and if taking them out for a month or two is necessary, then do it. These things have worked for me and im sure it will work for others that are stubborn like me. Then you can add in moderation.

This approach may work well for you, but you really have no idea if it will work well for OP or not. What if she's more like me and eliminating specific foods just makes her think about them more?

I don't think there is any problem with sharing something in the spirit of "This worked for me, maybe it will work for you." The issue is when we take things that worked well for us and assume that everyone is like us and must do it the same way. That's why you're getting pushback here, because it isn't sufficiently clear from your posts that you're just describing your personal experience.

The truth is that OP may be one of the people who can sometimes have some candy while she's losing weight and not have a problem with it. She may want to have a small breakfast (or skip breakfast) so she can have a bigger dinner. Red meat may be one of her favorite foods. These things are all compatible with weight loss so making her think she has to change *everything* about the way she lives and eats may be more overwhelming than simply focusing on a calorie deficit and identifying *the personal changes* she may have to make in order to make a deficit more sustainable.

Nutritionislife · October 2017

If you focus on nutrition its the best way to sustain. She has fluctuated in weight. Her title and post clearly states that she feels she is failing....eating red meat and snickers for her wont work right now. She needs discipline first to create any kind of deficit. The advice i give has worked for me. Common sense tells us not everything works for everyone!

I feel like a failure

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